Beyond all opposites...

ego is under the delusion that a *me*
will be awakened
and this is where one can get caught up
and identify a personal self with
liberation which is so entirely false...
what is revealed within the non-dual consciousness
is that there was *never* such an entity as
a separate self --
separation has never existed at all...
and one can only say at the point of awakening
that prior to this, one had been within a dream state...
all pairs of opposites such as *i am or am not
good enough* or * i am or am not worthy enough*
hold no water whatsoever when mind falls

ego only knows opposites --
and sets out to try to be perfect
to fill holes and
insecurities due to feeling incomplete...
.. not good enough, not right enough...
..not this, not that...
none of this is *true* --
absolutely none...
and you are not what you *think* you are...
and there is nothing that you have done *right*
or *wrong* that has anything to do
with what you truly are at the core of being...
there is a paradox that great effort *is* needed to
enter liberation ...
but there is no one that remains to claim it in the end
the one making efforts goes... dissolves and
no doer remains...
mind is so not able to grasp it even for a moment...

forever as o ne..

it is mind that identifies
with the passing phases
and shifting tides of thought
in which there arises delusion
as the man who sees his reflection
in the clear pool and states,
lo, that is me..
and disregards the light in which
all reflects..
dear one,
this is your only imprisonment
that you have misidentified yourself
with a body and mind
this error has created a world
within that you cling
all of it is 100% false
unreal as the mirage
in the desert
not one drop of it
rings as truth
so cast it off as if it were
an old soiled robe
leave it to turn to dust
and blow with the wind
think not of this body/mind
identity again ...
as it is to hold you in a trance
that does not show
what is real
not even for a second
love,
if it were another way
i would speak it clear and well
right here now
but it is so not in the least
correct
and if i could bring my heart
to you
and seal it to yours
so that you could walk straight
and be in beauty and truth
like the light you are
i would without delay
but i cannot do this
only you can right what has
been wronged inside
by your clear discrimination
in seeing that which is false
and transient
and that which is true and lasting
oh friend,
so what is it that keeps you in this
way of opposite seeing?
not God
not the world
or any other creature
only yourself
and what will take away your veil
that hides this most plentiful
glory filled light
it is grace alone
and this is to be found *here*
within the pure moment..
come dear
see what is real
and speak only what is right
you will then know your
true nature
and live forever
as o ne...

what a stunning difference.. this light...

in the heart there is a fullness
that is not of minds creation
and an emptiness
in which no separate self resides
just the ocean of pure life
still and beautifully silent *is*
if you are to be in it
even for a brief second
you will taste of the stunning difference
between the world of thoughts
and daydreams
and this perfect, still light
what a stunning difference...

forever free...

time dances in the wind
and dissolves in the heart
when the mind awakens
shadow rises no more
and seeing is made clear
light shines bright
reflecting appearance in awareness
yet no one is there to capture
anything
only stillness reigns
this is the way that one is meant to be
the Lord of yourself
not like a slave to mental wandering
tethered on a rope
to the rising and sinking tides
of mind
you are so much more than this
love,
you are truly forever free
and so over the mind
with its shades of unrest
so will you come to these waters of purity
and drown in the sea of life
that carries no suffering within it?
oh my friend,
i have not cast you out of my heart
i have lived to see you well
and to see you dance freely in joy
and not sit away from what is real
my heart has rejoiced
at your chance to be free
and my singing has called you
to go on...
i love you so inside always
as the SELF that is precious and true
if you could be in the way of hearing
and following your beauty
then i will be so trusting of your
steady steps
and rejoice in happiness
at your coming
i can see you here
where you are meant to be
because i know you not as
a body and mind
but one that is so very pure
and whole
i am to see you here, yes!
and know that you are in the heart
like a one that has come thru the waves
and set things right
like a warrior of freedom
and a flower of beauty

i am *here* friend
come now and *see*

be well always

om shanti

life can be a joy

what then is holding you back from the light?
is it that you are in need of what cannot be found right here?
or is it that you desire to be in another way
than what grace has now given?
because really dear one
it is only your perception of the situation that is binding
as you have heard so many times about those ones that have lost so much
and those ones in which the body is twisted and misshapen or ridden
with disease and uncomely to look upon...
yet have you not heard that even in this state, there are some in which
grace shines so very bright thru the external appearance
and have you not heard of the ones that appear to have everything
that money can buy including health and handsomeness...
yet are so very unpleasant to be around and so full of mischief
in heart and mind...
not in any way peaceful at all within themselves...

it is really when there is a loss or crises that will show up what is true within...
is there a true faith and a true peaceful detachment?
or is there a bemoaning of circumstances and a clinging to what has been perceived
as loss?
really it is so very much in mind and nowhere else ...
challenge and a shock can indeed push one to the edge of awakening
as it jars loose the complacent reality if one is open...
or it can calcify unrest and suffering if one sits there and wallows...
but why to wait for a big jarring up of your world?
start now to look deeply ....
because complacency is the worst bed partner...
it keeps one lukewarm and within a sluggish way in which there is no change...
come be alert to your life *as it is* with all its seeming imperfections and
crookedness...
forget about them all and *just be*...
life will become a joy this way....

maha shanti om

beauty of the heart

beauty of the heart
you are the one that is to be set free
like a bird that is to fly when the moon is full
you are like the sparrow that lights on the branch
in the evening
and sings a heart melting song
you are the gift that is true
and the heart that is sure and steady
you are the mystery of the deepest ocean
and the glory of rich lands that go on forever
with lush green hills and pastures
and sweet smelling scents that bring
a great happiness to well within
you are the most wanted of all
and you are to be what is revealed in the
one that is steadfast in seeking
oh my how your light shines so very bright
and within perfection
so as to rinse what has been unreal away
like a bath of grace
you are within perfection
yet carry nothing that is of the nature
of other
so bounteous and within all of life
is your glory
it cannot be denied when you come forward
and find your rightful center

most glorious moment

most glorious moment

that rings of clarity
and does not *want*
or have a motive

most wondrous reality
that is not of the nature
of unrest or shadow
but living and being
as it is
never to die
or create a reality that
haunts

most precious
gift
this *suchness*
that is made of all
and nothing
and is to right
what is wrong
when it is revealed
as itself

most perfect moment
this beingness
so within beauty
and so truly what life *is*
natural
without duality
single
whole

completely free...

detachment is primary ...

What is spoken about by the masters is
a putting away of those things that
cause the heart and mind to be in shadow
what this means is the the disciple that walks the path
is not to be desirous of sensual pleasure or
impure company
or wanting to collect wealth and objects that
ring of pride
as this will serve to make of your life one in
which attachment has a fast hold on the
mind and heart..
and will make of your reality one
in which these coveted objects are
to be safeguarded

it is not at all the externals
that are the problem
but the inner attachment that is to be seen
and let go of
because attachment is what creates a feeling
of ownership
and in turn creates delusion
or the feeling of *me and mine*
and with this there is fear (of loss)

if there is indeed a desire within to be in peace
then one is to lay down all that
has been held onto within...
and not to pick it up and cling mentally..

without detachment
one will indeed tread water on the journey
there is no doubt..
this is because attachment is ridden
with waves of unrest...
and will keep the mentation circling
about...

so my friend,
may you look at this
and let loose of thoughts about yourself
and your world all the time
as this will only serve to keep the wheels of
karma and mental grasping central in nature

what is spoken is what all sages, masters,
Buddhas, rishis and Christ have spoken

to be free
detachment is primary
may you see this dear seeker
and may there be a freeing up in your reality...

Great Peace and Om

Christ- the example for the mystic path..

When Christ said
i am the way, the truth and the life
this is for seeker to see that his life was to
be an example for what the mystic path symbolizes
Christ came as a light and did not back down
when the naysayers spoke ill of his words or
attempted to thwart his way of being purely present
he walked straight forward into the fires and did
not grasp at anything in the way of seeking shelter
he moved forward thru the most trying circumstances
including the crucifixion that shook him to the bone
so completely so as to make him sweat blood..
this is no joke when this deep fear comes on this way
and to be set upon the cross by those very souls
who many claimed him as truth in the beginning
but turned a blind eye when he was persecuted.
his life exemplifies the spiritual search in which
there arises a point when there is no turning back and
one is compelled to die into the death that brings eternal life...
he rose again in body as a way of showing that he (the truth) was
indeed living and nothing was taken but the suffering..
which does not mean that the behavior of the masses can
be dismissed
it was indeed the irresponsible mind-sets of the masses and
misconstruing of his pure words and presence that sought
out to destroy his light
it was not that he died *for* the impure actions (or sins) of humanity
in a purposeful way
it was the direct outcome of those minds and hearts that harbored
and nourished the dark within their souls (fear, suspicion, greed
and the like...) so much so that these one sought to do away
with his light...
what is to be seen here is that a mentality that seeks to dishonor
the truth will not prevail in any way shape or form
and will not by any means reign in the kingdom of heaven (which is
eternal light)
because spirit cannot be touched ..
not by one single word, thought or deed...
this pure presence remains eternally as it is forever complete
beautiful and free ....
beyond form, time or mind (be it a mind that is holy or ridden with shadow)..
still, it is a sad reality that the presence of those that are to be so
very amazing, filled with grace and precious water of pure life...
are many times so not honored and not taken into the heart
and imbibed with joy..
instead, these beings can be shunned as well as their words twisted
to serve in a selfish way or worse still persecuted
and this light that is so very precious and so able to speak
to the beautiful untouched nature of humanity is destroyed on one level
(as the physical embodiment of this one will not come again in the same way)
however, the truth is ONE and will live eternally and
is to show itself through many forms time and time again...
as a way of shaking up humanity and giving aide to those that
are ripe in hearing of the perfection within all...

May this light be seen by humanity and honored for the beauty it is...
May it shine bright for all who are sincere to bask within it...

maha shanti om

as you go about your journey...

as you go about your journey
will you remember your true self always
will you hold only the pure teachings that guide
and not the shadow of mental wandering
will you keep in your heart a faith that all is well
and that all will right itself in time
will you hold in your pack a piece of bread that
is to be eaten in joy as remembrance
of life so graciously given..
will you sing openly the hearts song
with love and praise to be here now
and be glad to have this opportunity
to find freedom...
will you let all life be free and not seek
to posses what was never yours...
will you stay steady within all life experience
and not run when the dark presses in...
will you love the earth the same as your body
and not think of yourself to be
this or that...
will you turn not away from suffering inside
and sit with it in equal mind
will you be content amongst all circumstances
even when all is taken...
will you see beyond the outer expression
and into the heart that is true...
will you find your true home in nature
and not within four walls that hem in...
will you drop the mind of pride and greed
so a fresh reality can enter in...
will you walk the trails of love and light
and seek company that is good..
will you set nothing apart from you
so as to make it high or low...
will you contemplate the truth at dawn and dusk
so as to shed the covers
will you live a way that is within beauty
but care not
if you are applauded or criticized....
will you live life so purely
and within the moment
that your past is completey forgotten...
will you be quiet now in this moment
and allow life to simply flow
as it is....

sit as you are..

to discover the the truth

the mind and heart are to be purified

in the waters of grace 

that sit beautifully silent within your being

but my how this beauty

has been shaded by the dream 

and has been covered over by graspings

has it not been seen that there is no constancy there?

and if this has not been realized 

then what is there to say?

but *look well* and *see*...

because this is the only way to discover

a deeper reality that is to make of your world

a paltry showing

friend if it were said to you in a way

that is like an arrow that 

hit the mark 

still you would not come to hear of it well

if you have not made of yourself

an open vessel in which the 

truth can be poured....

for if you are to be ready
then one must be naked and
free of what has been gathered
not to go about collecting more
concepts for the intellect...
all of it must go..
sooner or later....
this is for certain
would you not say?
then why not now friend?
come into this pure moment
in which there is no
hiding
and sit as you are
not as you *hope* to be
then you can make of
your garden rich,
deeply green and
lush with bright life
so very ready to receive
the pure waters that
make of death a false show
in which it loses all power
to haunt...
and makes life to shine perfect
and silent
as it has always been...

how will you tread?

will you be in this way of yours that comes and goes

for a long time yet

or will you seek out the source of your being

in the heart right now

it is not clear to you as of yet

that you are this light that shines so full

because you grasp at the reflections

and seek to make them real

this is not the way to uncover the perfection of now

so precious lying within and waiting

what then will you take up now

dear one of the heart

the family?, the money?, the plans that 

have been so neatly put in a box?

the possessions that sit and gather dust in 

your room?

what then?

if you are indeed wanting of great peace

why then is it that you continue

to claim the world as your own?
as this is sure to bring great waves
of unrest that do not settle....

it is indeed the mystery of maya

the land and playfield of illusion

that has scattered dust in your eyes

and set you off on a chase

such as this....

when will it be
that you tire of this way

that is to be like a
room of mirrors
and smoke
reflecting no true
substance?...

that which lives as purity has not a 

name or face 

nor does it carry a single drop of 

the personal....

it will not reach out to you except

within your unrest...
so as to say within this transient
place there is no balance
or serenity to be found...
so then my dear

how will you tread from here?

in the shade of *your* wandering alleys?

or in the light of *now* that is to 

bring you away from 

your own destruction...

and uncover great peace eternal
that is unchanging
and sturdy as a mountain range
untouched by the shadow nature
of mind
and forever anchored within
perfection....

how will you tread?

om shanti

when all has stilled...

oh mind
you are not the maker
of beauty
you are that which gives shade
to purity
and not holy or complete in any way
oh thoughts
how you speak of a world in which
you do not truly know
so narrow is your view
and so not within the light
as to be a paltry imitation
oh mind what is to be known
when it is found that
you are not the center
and never have you been
well maybe you will tread
elsewhere where you are given
room
but not here now...
as you have quieted down and
have very little to say this moment
so you were really no-thing at all
and what can be said of you
now mind
when all has stilled....
and sweet peace takes
the center
as it rightly should ...

silent as the first snow...

what is to be said when the mind falls
and all is silent as the first snow
and the new dawn?
what is to be done when there are no
more driving thoughts that speak
to direct the dance?
what is to be wanted when desire
has evaporated like ice in the
noon day sun?
what is to be grasped at when no
more fear is present and only rich
empty life reigns
full in glory?

Be brave..

if it were told to you that there is life beyond mind
would you hear it well and seek it out right away
or would you dance longer in the shade so as to have a bit
more tasting of the world
with its rising and falling appearance that bring nothing that is lasting
would you wonder about it awhile and then quickly get back
to the task of weaving a separate self and looking to the distant
horizon and waiting ....
what would you do friend?
for this is the way to find if you are sure inside
about where you are headed
because to play about in the waves will not make a strong being
that is to walk a path in which one dies a true death
that brings in the end eternal life
and to make a hearty journeyer one needs to indeed be brave and
ready to venture out...
not sit and watch as the *others* get burnt in the fires that purify...
for to sit back will not bring the ease of suffering you seek..
what is needed is *action* and *grit* to be released from your ways
and a heart and mind that does not look back
or cling to what is thought to be lost...
the one that is to take up the path in love and surrender is the best one
to walk it...
and this is not a one that is in constant fear or insecurity...
or so swallowed up by what ifs so as to burden the mind greatly
this will not make for easy travel on the road to find the SELF...
nor will it bring anything beneficial to your search
those that have transcended state in a clear voice, "have no fear"
and this is what is to be heeded....

and to those seekers that are of right heart and mind
and with sincerity say, yes! i would seek out this gem right away
and move forward ...
then with great love i say....
come on now ...
*live* this path and do not keep it separate...
all that lies within it will only make your spirit to shine bright and pure
never will one thing be taken that is not true
this is the way of grace that is purely intelligent
and is what will set all right in the end...

many blessings on your journey...


maha shanti om

there is no magic pill...

what is to be done 

when the end of life is near?

there will not be a compassionate voice that whispers

sweet words to you

or pats you on the back for all the good deeds done

or gently takes from you the suffering mind

that has been so greatly guarded

there will not be a consoler to listen to 

your cries and pleading calls to wait!, stop!

i am not ready...  

may another breath be upon my lungs and 

another wave of strength be upon my legs so as 

to stand sturdy for even a few more hours...

please!

there will be nothing forthcoming to 

bring the body back to what it was or the 

life back as it was cherished so dearly...

your cries will not be taken into account

no....

for death is completely impartial and all 

that has been so very dreaded inside

as the thinker has thought ---

*oh my, a day will come when this very life will end*

and this day *will* indeed arrive and 

so very swiftly too...

my friend, there is no time to wait as 

cannot it be seen that all is taken eventually?

cannot this be seen that the body sinks quickly 

and carries no peace that is lasting

and the sons and daughters so cherished 

grow and go their own way....

the decaying bits of life on the pavement under

the feet and the chill air arriving after the warmth

of yesterday....

all changing so swiftly 

so how then how can you deny that what you hold as 

your own will remain?

or that you indeed own anything at all?

and my dear,

when will you truly begin to let go of the 

conditionings that hold you so captive?

if not now, it will not come at the end easily

not in any way imaginable

is this not enough that shouts to you

begin!

shed the wandering ways that create a false

cover and hold you in a blind way...

loose it now and start to *see*

do not feel that there is so much time 

to wait

because there will not be a magic pill

or a sweet word that makes it all right...

one needs to do the work of *seeing*

the false ways that are driving...

and sink into the pure moment...

rest there without grasping

let go of seeing your life and what is in it

as your own....

for this is what creates fear and unrest...

as it is known deeply within that this

is indeed not true

because nothing can be held for long...

so go into that fear

and find it holds no substance 

and cannot keep you in a grip

keep going 

and do not stop until the peace that 

passes all understanding is revealed 

and it *will* be 

if one continues

without looking back

and without pining away at 

what is to be lost...

because in the end nothing is 

lost 

but the suffering mind

and life continues to flow

in its pure state

minus the *me* center

so may you begin friend

as this is the only means to
everlasting peace
there is no other way
not through family, friend or any
other...
only through diving deep within the soul
will this truth be revealed
that is to never leave
or bring a single drop of suffering
oh friend
how glorious is this?

may you begin...

maha shanti om

Diksha Ceremony

there was much offered in the past (by Guru) in the way of ceremonies

and practices that are not so freely given now

this is because many students have come asking for blessings
stating that the heart and mind are ready for a deeper commitment to the spiritual search

but later, left the path when something in the world was deemed more desirable

this happened so often that grace that flowed so abundantly back in the earlier days

dried up --

there was much hypocrisy, false words spoken and actions that displayed so clearly

the seekers heart was never in the right place to begin with....

these ones chose to take advantage of what was offered in a way to *gain* something

for themselves ---

it just looked like a good thing at the time and when the road got 

rocky ...  they bailed .....  

a very sad happening

have witnessed it so much over the years and

not just by newcomers, but just as much by those that have been on the path

many a year....  

this is why things have changed so dramatically in the ashram...

it is a direct outcome of those that come with wrong intentions and false words..

by no means is it because Guru is not generous in giving...

Diksha is one of the ceremonies that is not forthcoming like it was....

and it is uncertain what will take place with it.... so do not want to give the impression that it 

is offered freely in the least...

the purpose of writing about it is to give a *feel* for what it is...

then those that are indeed committed within can nourish what it stands for in heart and mind...

as this is what truly really matters.... 

Diksha is initiation given by Guru as a means to bond the seeker to the spiritual path
seekers that take diksha are to be dedicated and sincere within as well as (ideally) desire
to walk the path for a lifetime(s)..
however, (it used to be) that diksha did not carry the heavy commitment of the
renunciates such as celibacy and letting go of worldly life --
(though most, if not all of the sannyasis have taken diksha first)
will say however that the path has now changed so that those that receive the *deeper* teachings
are to now be within the renunciate life ...
these are the only ones that will be offered diksha and/or sannyas (when and *if* this blessing comes forward again in the future)..
this is because the path laid out by Guruji is meant truly to be for those that are 100% dedicated
and are within the mind-set of a renunciate ...
it cannot be walked with one hand gripping tightly to the world and the other attempting to hold  to the path....
there will be no lasting progress this way as it works against the goal of the practices ...
(which is to cut attachments and conditionings so that ultimate liberation can be revealed)...
if there is an unwillingness to let go within, then the energy is working against the grain really
which is not for the best...
if the heart truly desires to be within the world, then better to be honest with this....
this is why *friends of the path* was created
so that those that desire to be in the world
and still continue a connection with the beginning practices and teachings can do so...
such is the way of Guru's grace....

The Diksha Ceremony

The seeker wears white to symbolize purity and coming into the ceremony *fresh*
wiped clean of the past and worldly attachments...
the seeker brings a gift and flowers to offer Guru to show gratitude for the
blessing of initiation as well as the great honor of being in the presence of Guru -
the sadhaka is asked to kneel and propitiate Kali as a way of showing dedication and
offering over of the heart and mind to the path.....
then the sadhaka is asked to kneel before the *empty* Guru chair and again offer up the
heart and mind to the search to liberation....
Guru does not sit in the chair as a symbol of showing that truth is formless and not contained
in a body or mind  -- nor can it be found in any external appearance.....
after this, the sadhaka is asked to kneel in front of Guru in which the mantras are infused in the
chakras -- ending with the heart chakra
each mantra carries a special vibration to break down the conditioned mental holdings and are
extremely potent...
the diksha ceremonies given are similar in some ways, but entirely unique in others depending on the energy that is present....
like all else that is within pure grace, what takes place in the ceremony is spontaneous and perfect for what is needed at the time....
there are special oils used, incense and such that are part of the ceremony as well...
after the mantras are infused --
a spiritual name is given by Guru that has to do with a quality the seeker already has (and needs
to enhance) or a quality that is not present and needs to be nourished...
the vibration of the spiritual name is very potent and aides to wash away the energy of the mundane mind and past attachments....

The energy of the ceremonies are extremely strong, yet completely balanced and can really
bring out strong emotions and/or shifts in consciousness never before experienced....
there is a mystery about it as well as a grace-filled beauty...

Diksha as well as sannyas are indeed honored blessings and are to be cherished dearly
if one has had the opportunity....
if not, no worries....
if the heart is pure, sincere and indeed desirous of liberation
what is needed will unfold in the right time, there is no doubt...
until then, the symbology of the ceremonies point always within and
the *heart* of the ceremony can be nourished, within every moment--


maha shanti om



  

Do not wait...

in the lost shadows
where will you make of yourself a home
that is stable and sturdy?
will you race into the waves that come and go
so swiftly so as to lose yourself in the chase
that really go nowhere but back again
where you started?
or will you come further out where the shore
is set at a distance
and the ships bounce up and down on the
rising ocean that speak of a substance
much deeper?

when is the time
that you leave the place that holds you in a trance
and step into the unknown depths of your very soul?

this evening friend
i have come for you in this very time
that is the best time to take a step out into the dark
open night
and be what you are made of in heart
and not to go into yourself in mind like the ones
that are so very lost in their actions and voice
so as to be not even well in body and spirit

i cannot tell you anything but to come
now and do not wait
my time is done in the land of the lost
i am so not able to go back there
i can call to you only from this *now*
as this is where you reside as well in spirit
it is true
i cannot speak to you any other way

oh soul
if there was a way to say that you are well
inside
i would say it rightly, but your ears will not hear of it
or your tongue taste of it
until you step in...
the dark night is moving in hauntingly
and so pressing down
as to say
now!
this time my dear
or when?
leave the shade of your own making
and be yourself for once
as this is the way you are meant to be
within a heart
and mind
that is true

this night
is the time and no other
so full in beauty is this soul of yours
that lights up the night sky in glory
this is your true name and calling
not any other
oh dear
come
do not wait

now is the time....

The lion and the lamb

i have not come in the way of haunting

or making of myself a name

i have come in the way of love

and have made of this life an open meadow

in which to wander freely without hinderance

i have come like a lion

and a lamb

in purity and beauty as this combination

is what has bred a spirit of great strength

and innocence

i have come in the way of *being* and not 

taking or giving what is not helpful to 

humanity or those that are in need of 

pure water to drink for the soul

i have come like a light 

in the dark of the night

as to make of my presence one that is 

of a hearty and true gift of peace

and do not want what is the nature of

misery or shadow

i cannot be a way that is of misdeeds or

watered down spirit

that dries the earth bed and makes not the 

precious life to bloom in glory

i cannot be of a nature that is of the dark

or the impure

oh my this would not be good at all

or have worth at all
i have come like a child
pure and deeply wise
so mighty in hand and tongue
as to right what is wrong
and seize the wandering energy
reign it in so all is made the way
it is meant to be
within perfection
beautifully true
and glorious

i have come

Time with Guru (part 4 ) - **FLOATING**

it is so nice now that writing is spontaneous and within pure flow

nothing is looked up or consulted..

when the fingers are set to the keys, they just start moving 

and what is meant to show up, does...

it hasn't always been like this...

there was some smooth writing before, but not nearly this way..

since the blog opened -- it just comes without plan,

reflection or a *me* center -- 

the effortless way is so perfect and

freeing...

struggle feels *heavy* because to be burdened

like this is out of sync with what is 

inherently *natural* for the soul....

there is another story to tell

that is well, maybe just entertaining, fun, interesting, wondrous

or just what happens when one hangs out a lot with Guru 

the title of this story is *floating* ----

i used to go regularly to the pool at the *Y* in Seattle for exercise--

or  just to enjoy kicking around in the water ---

i am an under average swimmer at best and usually grab

on to one or two of those noodles in the deep end 

because it feels so nice to be buoyed up and 

float along without struggle....

one day, i asked Guruji
if she wanted to go with me to the *Y* --

she said, "okay"..

we arrived there, got on our suits and entered the pool --

when we got toward the deep end, i offered Guru a noodle

she took it for awhile...

later when i looked back at her, the noodle was kind of drifting 

behind her and she was floating like a buoy in the deep end --

not moving her arms or anything....

when i said, "Guruji, you didn't tell me you float."

she said, "doesn't everybody?" and i said, "uh, no"

(and i am a perfect example of that )....

she said, she really didn't know how to swim well

but has always floated since she was a kid...

this just struck me so funny as i had never seen this before..

and it was way out of my experience...

Guruji did not get any real exercise while in the pool

because the body just kind of drifted along with ease 

and absolutely no effort...

A few years after this *floating wonder* was witnessed,

Guruji and i took a trip one winter to California in search of sun

since the weather gets so grey and cold in Seattle day after day

around this time...

we stayed at a hotel by the water  -- 

the hotel had an outdoor pool which looked very inviting

and refreshing especially since there was a bit of warm sun out...

after we settled in, i did decide to take a dip or two in the water... 

the first time, swimming was the usual kick around 

and grab a floatie type deal ...

the next time, Guruji hung out on a lounge chair near

the pool reading while i did my usual bit in the pool...

i was paddling in a back float for awhile which came to 

a stilled kind of rest that was quite peaceful...

after this, the body began to float quite easily in a way that was different ..

(this took place in the deep end.)..

when i told Guruji about it, she watched and said to relax into it..

which i did and then the body began floating like a buoy...

one could literally be *sitting* in the deep end with no kicking or paddling

even cross-legged and the form floated effortlessly....

after the body felt relaxed, there were all sorts of poses that 

came -- 

and there was such a stilled, lightness to it...  

this was definitely a wondrous surprise at the time..

and so out of what was the usual way

and so much more fun and restful as well...

which just goes to show that anything can change

radically at any time...  

no one knows...

it is a very magical unfolding within the 

timing of grace...    

now, 

the floating thing gets forgotten

until one gets in the pool and *there it is* ....  

and lets suffice it to say...

the noodle has gone by the wayside...

just sharing some of the funny things that happen

when one hangs out a lot with Guru....   

maha shanti om

The gift...

I have set by your door
a lantern and a staff
to bear your weight on the
journey to yourself
i have laid a bright colored
wrap for the cold
and a gift for you to open
if you find that you are
in need of something other
my friend
then call inward and see
the light that shines
as clarity
this will open the way
and warm your days
and nights

so if you are to
begin
then pick up the staff
that has within it
the teachings that guide
and the strong substance
of wisdom that is to
hold you sturdy

if you fall for a time
do not give up
this momentary glitch
will only strengthen your will
if you rise in gratitude
determined to continue
holding the goal of
freedom near...

the lantern is the glow
of the heart that will be
inside to show up what
is true (unchanging)
and what is false (transient)
it will be the light of
wisdom that is inherent
in the soul of your being

the wrap will
hold you
internal so mind does not
go outward
and is to be your
mat to sleep on
or a prop for your
head when you rest under
the stars...

the gift is what lies waiting
when all the covers fall
and the shadows dance no more
and there is a joke in there too
that will make you laugh
and laugh
it is the best of all....

so my friend,
you are now well equipped
for your walk into the unknown
which will bring you to
the open light
that has alway been
and is the beauty
of your soul...

may you go well
in love and joy

great peace


maha shanti om

Time with Guru (part 3) - the early days...

During the first several years

especially of being

in the presence of Guruji

there was so much generous sharing of

her life and wisdom which was such

an awesome honor

after our first meeting,

i spent the days with her while

the body and mind were

recovering...

here and there, she would open

a spiritual text

and read out loud

passages that substantiated

her pointings ...

When she read the books, she

would pause intermittently to

explain what was being said

and the meaning and worth it

had for the spiritual path...

She read the Guru's sandals,

books on Hindu deities,

Buddhist/Zen scriptures

Christian texts and passages

from the Bible as well as

many books having to do

with self-discovery ....

her readings and explanations

were soaked in immensely and

greatly cherished

it really opened the heart up

to the beauty and depth of

spiritual symbology and

gave clarity as to where the

passages actually pointed to --

***the heart of all sincere spiritual

writings are the same -

and are meant to point the way

to the non-dual

nature in which all personhood

is dissolved...

this was made so very crystal

clear while listening to Guru..

Even symbols like the Guru's sandals

speak to what lies within

all hearts ---

(liberation and absolute pure

peace)

which is to be cherished

and held the most dear...

what Guru put much stress on

was seeing the purifying energies

such as Kali, Kundalini, Ganesha

Christ or what have you as

not separate from your own being..

and not to project out into feeling

there was something outside

that was to save you

or make things right...

this mentality only serves

to further duality and suffering..***

if a picture came up in a book

of Ma Kali or any other deity

or spiritual image

Guru would point out what the

the meaning of the symbology was

in the framework of how it

related to the spiritual search

and clear away any misguided notions

or superstitions around it that

the world at large appears to

carry much of the time...

she gave honor to the

images in a way that gave

them such vibrant

life and rich meaning...

really so very beautiful...

all of the discussions like this

with Guruji were completely

spontaneous and unfolded

on their own..

there was never anything planned

and it was so absolutely

clear that there was

no self-interest in her being

all was given freely with

no expectation or feeling

of ego present ...

what was given was given

and then forgotten...

this was so refreshing and

lacking of any burden of mind

simply, pure grace....

i learned quite early to not

always be asking

"what does this mean?" or

"what does that mean?" because

it seemed to throw a wrench on the

spontaneity of the flow ..

by doing this some other

jewel of information got missed...

and in time the questions that were

there (well most of time

they were forgotten)

but came

forward in the right time....

Guruji used so many words that i

had never come across before

(i really mean it when i say there

was truly no prior experience of

all that she was speaking of )

she used words like *satsang*

*flow*, * surrender*, *diksha*

*sadhaka*....   all sorts of

foreign feeling terms that i did

not ask her about, but waited

and of course the meaning became

clear eventually....

all in it's own time....

Diamond Sutra

the Diamond Sutra are the traditional scriptures

on the discourses of the Buddha to his disciples

in some of these discourses,

the Buddha speaks of impermanence and transcendence

of thought and wandering mental ways

he speaks in eloquence as to what is permanent and 

what is not permanent 

his speach is one that calls the disciple 

to question what is held as a *philosophy* about 

enlightenment and to slice through these false notions

like a vajra (or lightening bolt) 

Buddha shoots down any mental concepts that may 

be harbored within and held as being truth

such as *high* teachings that are attached to...
just as the finger pointing to the moon
is not the moon

no matter how *high* the pointing, it is also

false if grasped to as reality --

it is the nature of thoughts to come

and go and be unstable...
and that which is high will eventually sink low 

and change again...

it is for this reason that **all**mental concepts 

are false, no matter how wise they appear...

and sometimes it is these *high* held belief 

systems that are the hardest and most stubborn to fall

because they are so deceptively *good* and *right*

in appearance...

so then, what is to be done?

-question within that which comes and goes

how can this be real?

-come back to the practices and rest in the heart

-do not be satisfied with any mental concept - 

including concepts about reality or enlightenment -

-stay in the moment

-one thing at a time

-breathe

with great love and light

maha shanti om 

what is original mind?

what the masters call the *original*

is what existed prior to the separative  

drama

it is the pure reality that gives potential

for all appearances to be 

it is the mind stripped bare of shadow

and conditioned covers that hide 

it is like the lamp that
shines on the waters 

and reveals the ripples or the 

rushing waves

this is the nature of the original mind

to light up what it is here 

as an objective witness 

and nothing else...

it appears as o ne singular

light 

it has no qualities within it

it does not come or go 

it does not rise or fall

it does not follow sensual happenings

it is distinctly different in nature 

than that which carries mentation

it cannot be held in the grip of the personal

nor does it belong to any-body

it is just what it is

raw beingness, consciousness and bliss

sat-chit-ananda

0

What could be better?

what could be better than a light

with no shadow

what could be better than a moon

with no cloud cover

what could be better than a song 

with no singer

what could be better than a heart

with no deception

what could be better than waters

with no impurities

what could be better than love 

with no clinging

what could be better than a soul

with no wandering ways..

what could be better than a moment

with no past or future

what could be better than a land

with no barriers

what could be better than an understanding

with no thought

what could be better than a morning

with no residue of mind

what could be better than a sleep

with no dream

what could be better than an eye

with no defect

what could be better than a reality

with no separation

what could be better than a life

with no death

what could be better than a joy

with no sorrow

tell me my friend,

what could be better than this....  

maha shanti om

Merry Christ-mas to all...

The birth of Christ is the coming of truth

that shines like a beacon

on a dark night 

it is a precious offering to behold

as the showing up of a most glorious 

being in the nature of truth and beauty

that has come to speak of the way back 

to the heart of peace

what Christ spoke of was not to go into 

thoughts about life and philosophies

but to be in the moment 

wiped clean of all imaginings that carry

one elsewhere

his message is one of perfect love

and does not give way to that which 

brings sorrow...

what a joyous occasion that this being

opened the way for those hearts that are

willing and desirous of *seeing* what is true

what a joyous time to be a participant of such grace

and to have the path carved out so well

so as to walk it clear of obstacles 

it is said that Christ was the master of 

beauty --

a beauty that is within and absolutely well -

a beauty that is *living* and never dies

a beauty that no shadow can ever touch

this is what is written in his words that 

spoke so richly of all being

set *right*

when one surrenders fully to grace

and lets go of unproductive ways...

his being is like a king that came 

that was not at all driven or touched

by desires or externals..

he was like a beautiful bird that lights

on the branches for all that came near

he was not lacking in a clear, strong voice

that spoke of misdeeds and misunderstandings

that were not good or well --

this is the compassion and love that is within

a o ne that has stilled the thoughts

and has nothing driving...

only what remains is love and light

and is what is to bring those to 

the heart where there is no more 

suffering --

and no more walking away from the 

light

which is eternal

May all rejoice this Christmas

and be within the heart

in love and gratitude

for what is here 

and for the light 

that shows the way...

Let freedom ring...

Maha Shanti Om

why chase worldly drama?

if you are in the way of making something
exceptional of your life
then why are you off into worldly drama?
there is nothing that will be found there that
eases your suffering...
the *truth* alone
is what will take the ache away
that has come from
grasping at shadows
it is a very sad thing that a one that is
to be desirous of liberation
continues to buy into and chase
worldly happenings ...
as this will not bring the goal
of freedom near...
it will only serve to hold blinders in place..
what takes place in the world
is indeed filled with emotion
in every direction,,,,
this is not to be held as the most attractive
because to be enmeshed within it
will not take away a single tear ..
which does not mean that one is not
sad or happy within the moment of
certain events
and will not respond to them in
a way that is true
it simply means that to keep *cranking*
on an event or happening is to lose
what is taking place in this moment...
and to lose clear *seeing*-
(which is what will maintain
clarity and balance )
it is the best help to all of nature
and humanity when one rests
settled in the heart within quietude
and silence no matter the conditions
then the words or actions that come
are right and well
and will speak to the situation with
balance and sincerity
and will bring a shift to those that
are open...
and what the
world is so desperately
in need of is *balance*...
so, friends of the heart
be real and just
be what you are without all
the drama...
the  world patterns will play out
as this has been in motion
from time beginning...
what is to be done lies
within --
and then what comes forward
from this center of being
will be for the best
there is no doubt...

May all be well --

maha shanti om

the light that you are

it is like
the moon against
the dark night
so outstanding in
its light
as to be undeniable
this is your true
nature
my friend
and you are the
only one
that can find it

be with what is here...

Be with what is here
now
not in the drama of mind
as this only serves to create
more shadows
and false realities...

Time with Guru (part 2).... first meeting

The first meeting with Guruji was set up to be
at Traveller's (an indian tea house in Seattle)
i was completely *green* as to what a Guru
was or was not --
i had no experience with a spiritual path
and knew nothing of what the *core*
of spiritual practices were about really..
just had winged my own practices..
****(a mix of Buddhist chants picked up
from readings, severe sitting meditation
in which i covered the eyes with a
blind-fold and meditating in graveyards
--- just a simple, gentle little blend would say ..
don't you agree? hahahaha
 ... so not true. would advise to please
use this as an example of what *not to do* because
these types of random practices
are very potent and can ignite kundalini
rapidly which is indeed what took place
there were spontaneous yoga moves that came
forward that were beyond what this
form had every done --
in fact had
never, ever engaged yoga --
so to stand
on the head and twist into pretzels was very new
there were spontaneous mantras and songs
in a foreign tongue (which had no idea
of the meaning and only learned later what
some of the chanting meant.. )
there were seeing colors and lights --
popping, clapping, bird sounds, bells
**which is known as the nad**
constant perceptual shifts
*** feeling like one is very tall and then the
next minute very small**
a stream of visions
and blown up mental phenomena...
**and this went on 24/7**
and much more...
this is why am advising
don't go about your journey this way...
if there is no Guru in place, PLEASE go slow
with these types of energetic practices.. they are
no joke...
this phenomena had
been ongoing for 5 yrs or so before
meeting Guru
but came to a crises when became
very physically ill and was unable to work
so when met Guruji, the form was extremely
skinny
with dark circles under the eyes and
i was in a lot of fear and mental spin
definitely a walking
mess of i don't know what....)***

i managed to get to Travellers in spite of the
poor shape the body was in....
i arrived before Guru and sat at a table
looking out the window wondering what
this meeting would be like....
soon i saw a woman walk by with a little
dog on a leash (which was none other than
the infamous Miss Radhe )..
i knew right away it was Guruji...
She did not look like
the stereo typical image of a Guru that
one might see in books --
***like those in a lotus position with a
loin cloth or with a constant smile of
bliss and flower like words that pour
forth in a stream ..***
Guru did not come in this type of
stereotypical package at all....
that Guru looked like an ordinary person
was so very refreshing and calming to
the mind right away....
as this felt to
be a being that i could connect with
also, she had lived a regular life
and struggled like the rest of us
this was made quite clear by the mails and
exchanges up to this point...

Guruji walked in and sat down
across from me at the table
her manner was relaxed and
easy...
her presence was light
with humour
that came through often...
and again this calmed the mind
and being right away....

she answered all my questions
with patience and love
***i know that some are afraid of Guru
or feel she is stern and serious...
this is so far from the truth...
her being has such a gentle, sweet dearness
within it
and will tell you this is truly her usual way...
if a *roar* has come out (which is tough
love) it is only that the situation has required it
in order to wake one up from the strong grip
of delusion that is taking over ...
because have been on this side of the fence
also and can speak to the benefit and love
and compassion within tough love as well....
all of it is grace, there is no doubt..**

The pointings that really struck during this first meeting
were:
**what you need protection from is yourself **
and that *you are your own worst enemy**
also, she spoke to what liberation is --
**when the mind stills**
she said, **if i can do it, anyone can**
this is because she had such a hard time
of it .. and raised a child by herself within
the midst of it -- which was the same
situation as here...
this helped so much and gave hope that
it was possible to transcend suffering
even through very difficult times...
She said many things that brought a smile
and lightness to the heart which took away
the seriousness about the whole thing...
as well as honored kundalini for what it was
**that it gives the opportunity to enter
liberation in this lifetime if one is sincere**
  She was very generous in sharing her
experiences while in the midst of the journey
and laying to rest the fears that were coming forward.
then she said that i should go home and rest
because i looked like i needed it hahahaha...
which was true, of course....

Was back to work and functioning again
after about a month of working with Guruji...
what grace....

maha shanti om

the most honored way of living -

what is the most honored way of living?

if one is a king or a popper 

there is no better way to live than

within detachment and the heart

this is what makes of a life that 

is to be sturdy and true in nature

like King Janaka -

he lived a royal life surrounded

by magnificient objects and 

had all that money could buy

yet he ruled in a detached way

and came to be known as one 

that is liberated and still within

worldly life...

by this type of ruling or carrying

out his deeds there was a compassion

and equal-mindedness that came 

forward which served humanity 

in the best possible way...

King Janaka was a *deep seer*

he did not pay attention to the

wealthy conditions in which he lived 

instead he penetrated the layers of mind

and eventually was able to discern the 

false (the transient)

from the true (the unchanging)

and by this strong discrimination gained

liberation

King Janaka's life is an example of living most
honorably
and it is these types of fine examples
that are to be followed within life
if one is sincere in the search towards
liberation...



maha shanti om