Thursday, September 29, 2016


when a man takes his leave of the world
he has in him the courage and self restraint 
needed to go onward into himself 
as a one looking to be free of the false
he stays aware and alert 
to the rising ways of mind 
that come and go and distract 
and persuade 
he keeps watch on this night and day

he makes his heart shine bright 
within the mental waves 
and he makes his life one of eloquence
beauty and quiet being

he does not need a temple or 
a special sitting posture 
he does not need a friend to be near
or a lot of pomp and circumstance 
he does not need the right outer 
for what will make him strong are the 
life experiences and the grit 
and the courage to rise above that which is 
temporal in nature
he dives into himself always --
no matter what experience
he looks, he watches 
he questions and remains quiet

he knows not the truth when mind is rambling 
he knows not the way, if mind is in action
he knows not the heart, if mind is in the center 
he knows not his calling, if thoughts are tempting 
he knows not clarity, when clouded by desire 
he knows not freedom, when in the throes of passion
by seeing this
he sees the false ways that occlude 
and takes them not again to heart
but witnesses as a one not involved
he then is as a seeker that is always immersed in sadhana
that is the seeking of fulfillment 
amongst the confusion, he is in sadhana
amongst the ways of men that are not seeking truth,
he is in sadhana
he is in sadhana at all times and under all circumstances 
not carried away by anything no matter how hard or biting 
no matter how glorious or persuasive 
he remains detached within the light of Guru's words and grace 
a man that walks this way is one that is called dispassionate in his practice 
as he is not in the world as a man within doership 
he falls somewhere in between working, effort and effortless flow
he falls in between the lines of black, white and even grey 
for he cannot be captured by definitions any longer 
he cannot be sheltered in desires and pulling temptations of the world 
for he understands this type of desirous mentality
though it may bring some temporary pleasure
ultimately brings pain -- a sting that he is not to desire any longer

he prays to his own heart (if he prays) to awaken to love and light 
he prays to his own SELF to be free of shackles and hinderances 
and habitual mind spins 
he prays to his soul that is to be made like a fire that burns all created appearances 
to ash 
he prays to the life source that is the one power of all
to be free forever and eternally..

he never lets the truth be ignored or forgotten in him
even if he is in the depths of thinking 
he feels this stir to be in love and light always 
haunting him in it's way that is not to be ignored

he lays his burden down by the waters of shiva 
he lays down the sting and the actions that brought unrest 
he lays his mind down on the earth of the universe to be absorbed in love and light
he is a man of character in himself in which he is as an example to others 
by his actions of honesty, and integrity and transparency
how has he come to this path of light?
by his desire to know himself and be free
this has carried him on
and he is to be living in the heart now 
as he can walk home and find God in it's pure state 
he can walk home and be living in joy and beauty
he can walk home and stay as a being in fullness that cannot be shaken
this my friend, is the deep seeking of truth that goes
forward to fulfillment...

this life, what is it?

what has thou to say about love?
is it that which brings comfort
and shelter from the world of woes?
or is it that which comes to tear down
the walls
and awaken one to that which
is unborn, pure
and untouched by *me and mine*?
is it wrapped up in
a man, a woman or child ?
is it a an experience of pleasure ?
or is it that which gives space
for your world, your life
and all that enters there to be?
does it come happy at times
with high waves
and sink down low again?
or is it steady in beingness
not to falter and die away?
like a mountain
this love
what is it?
can you say?

what has thou to say about life?
is it something that is personal?
or is it a flow of pure grace
that has not a name attached?
does it revolve around people and places
things that come and go?
or is it simply here
as a mystery to be lived
and this is all
is it a memory or thought or
experience to look forward to?
is it marked by days and years
and expectations?
or timeless
unchanging in it's essence
a great adventure in which
one knows not what is around
the next corner?
this life
what is it?
can you say?

Friday, September 23, 2016

rooting up the debris/kundalini...

kundalini will bring up all the judgements, fears,
conceptual thinking, habits, vasanas (energetic patterns),
attachments etc.. and put them in your face 24/7
what this journey is truly about is to face them, question them
until those concepts that keep one locked in a cage of being a
certain way or believing one is confined to a body and mind
is broken through for good ---

Thursday, September 22, 2016

the unlearning path

knowledge that is praised by the world is that knowing
that comes from learning 
while this has its place and is needed on some levels
true knowledge does not have content within it
there is nothing to study to be truth
so the scholar will not find it that way
it is more of an unlearning path
where one goes backward into the source 
to be burnt in the fires of purity
in which one becomes what they are originally
and though some sages may speak very eloquently
inside, truly they know nothing and are more childlike
not different from anything or anyone else
just one
how simple is this? 

Saturday, September 17, 2016

just plain slow..

it is so strange when the mind slows
it is like a tape recorder unwinding
the thoughts are sluggish, slow
what one is used to in there (when
thoughts are present)
at least for here, all of the sudden
it is like a tape put on slow speed
where the voice is deep and low
and just plain slooowwww
so very strange
or sometimes the thoughts
sound far away and garbled
and other times simply stop
nothing, just stillness
ah, let those old tapes keep

tantra (fire heart)

when i have seen tantra in my
mind's eye
i have seen a current or band
that is very dark
with a current of blood red running
through it
the dark is representative of that deep
dark mystery of the absolute
the red that sacrifice of the soul
that offers it's life up to the source
this is a very potent emblem
that is not superficial in the least
it is a path that is walked for lifetimes
ending in dissolution
into the source of all
tantra is made of this richness that is
concrete/ rock solid with a magnetic
pull to the center
in which nothing
can come up against it

so alive this fire heart of tantra
that it is hardly a one that can be spoken
of easily
for it is like a blend of nature's most pure
creation as well as the richness from which
all springs
it comes like a volcano that is eruptive in it's
it comes like an unbound ground energy
it comes like an uncreated condensed energy
that is so powerful
beyond imagination
sexuality, my friends is merely a way of putting
this light in a box in which souls want to play
at making it into something spiritual
this is so not correct
for this energy is the *loom or weave*
(which is what it stands for)
which means it is the thread that runs through all
it is God made manifest in the creative world
and there is nothing that can make it into anything
different not for a moment
for it has at it's roots antiquity at it's finest
as all the healing, yogi, nun, sadhu, sage types
of energies have
they are based on something that is not of this world
in it's way
nor will this beautiful energy make itself privy
to many
only those that have been cleared of mundane energies
and have that connection
to soil it and place it somewhere else in the physical realm
is like taking a beautiful, pristine gem and tarnishing it
with dirt
it is not going to glow in it's finery that way ever
for we see this happening so much in the world
pristine ancient light being tarnished by something else
that does not ring at all of the original
but still, even with the worldly things that come out
to make something different out of this beauty
it lives always as it is
pristine, deep, mysterious, potent, fire, light-filled
and nothing that is put over it will ever change that

Friday, September 16, 2016

a light so glorious

undiluted truth
so glorious
so sweet
that it melts the souls that walk by
and they cannot say what they came to say

if they are sincere and honest in heart
when they speak, it is to say thank you
for showing me what is true and right
thank you for showing me the way out
of my locked cage
i will go renewed and drink of the waters
that are pure
i will be something that rises in beauty like the sun
i will smell like the sweet earth
and put to my lips only words that bring joy
and revive hearts that ache
i will be what i was meant to be
the SELF always


the heart 
is the cave where the sadhu lives
with the dhuni fires 
that burn night and day 
he does his austerities for the lord 
and these austerities are very harsh 
to his body
they strip him of the world in the way 
of making him not attached to the form-shadow
that is as a dream
the austerities are consciously done when he 
is in meditation postures
or even when he is walking about with bare bones 
exposed to the elements of nature 
this is painful to bear 
but he bears this as a one that is in love with God 
but friends, 
these austerities come in the course of this journey 
of kundalini 
whether the seeker consciously does them 
as the sadhu in his right way of doing them 
or a one that is in the world has pain and bodily 
hardships and/or mental that cause that one to either 
run away or surrender 
because most will not surrender 
of their own accord (as this is how ego is)
and hardships cause the mind to be panicked and go 
but eventually
a one that is in love with the SELF
that one must find the faith 
that one must find the substance 
that one must find the strength to go on amidst 
much hardships and burning of all sorts 
this is not to say that one needs to be in love with 
suffering, not at all
but to know that there are many experiences
that come
that call one to stay steady and truly live
what is being spoken about in the scriptures
to truly embody the faith, the surrender
this is the way of all those that walk the path
of knowledge
this is the way of all those that walk the path
of surrender
it cannot be simply a philosophy or understanding
but a true embodying

the simple one

the poor man is blessed
the one impoverished of worldly
he is the simple one
he lives as if he has no clothes
or layers of complicated philosophies
he has no food to eat either that tastes
of drama (or the story of *me and mine*)
yet he is starving never
for he is a humble one
and lives on food that is wholesome
food that satiates his soul
happy, content
not looking always to fill some hole
that has only come from ego's stories
he eats the bread of God in faith
and what befalls him, he worries not about
his dwelling is simple
to him he has all he needs

Thursday, September 15, 2016

vision 6/3/16

this morning vision:

burning structures, the ground is in ashes.... two buildings still burning
one can see the fire coming from them (bright and hot)
and the smoke dispersing all around ...

then, one could see a long fence that was being broken apart
and it was heard,
this is a very flimsy fence Siddhananda

then, a bridge appears and someone is walking across it
walking through terrain after terrain that changes in it's
texture and feeling, rocks, fields, and different countries
then, a mountain is walked up with great jutting cliffs
and narrow paths...
it was heard,
she lost her footing here many times
but did not fall, just lost her balance... now she is
making her way up again...

then, it was heard,
the morning star awaits,
the new dawn too and the flowers are growing.
all of this can be seen at the top.

and then, this poem:

are you looking up from those jutting structures
(that last look maybe today)
for those ghosts are racing after you
and very fast indeed
and when you are cornered (yet again)
i wonder if this time you will stay there
and ponder the questions that burn?
or spin and spin again
and i wonder too, if that pain there
so nagging is a doorway
that leads outward to the greater view
where seeing is not couched in individuality
hmmmm, i wonder if that heart you hold bears
secrets that whisper your name
and lead you to that place of light
what can i say, but find out
for are you walking somewhere greater
or just simply existing for now
i wonder?

Saturday, September 10, 2016

the monastic life

in the past when the climate was
pure for seeking 
seeking was much honored
and not put aside or taken casually
those that were renunciates took to the 
path in it's traditional way
which was to don the ochre robes 
and wear the ornaments that spoke 
to the monastic life 
which were varied in their nature 
but very much honored and seen
as marks of a heart that was in the 
contemplative order 
when a monk takes to this life 
he is as a person that
has renounced responsibilities
such as rearing family and working 
in the world 
this type of undertaking has as it's base 
great meaning and purpose 
it is to keep the mind focused on God 
the monastic is to be always disciplined 
in the way of putting the eyes 
on the light in terms of scriptural reading 
and contemplation
he lives in a secluded area because he 
is as an island to himself in a way
as he is the sole being that is responsible 
for his journey
and there is no one else that can walk it for him
he is the one that is the keeper of the faith
and he is the one that is the protector of his silence 
he is the one that is the guard of his kingdom
he is the one that lets enter into his paradise 
seeds of untruth or seeds of great blessings 
that grow in the form of quietude and joy
not any one else plants these seeds 
he is the one that waters the blessings 
or destroys them by looking to the impure thought 
the monastic is not a person of the world 
he is as a soul in love with God 
which means he is in love with the SELF 
that is in his own soul
when there is quietude within his mind 
he finds joy in this 
when there is silence that has no personhood in it 
he finds great sustenance in this 
which steadies him to move on into the 
unshakeable stillness in which no experience 
can touch 
he is like a mystic 
as a sadhu that wanders to the light 
he is the same 
the monastic life has it's purpose that is 
good and pure 
but as this path shows when one can be steady
in stillness while in the world 
this stillness will be very solid 
and not easily moved 
as this is much, much harder ...
but can be done 
and will come to those hearty journeyers 
that are true inside and seek pure life 
this will indeed come