Monday, December 31, 2012

Beyond all opposites...

ego is under the delusion that a *me*
will be awakened
and this is where one can get caught up
and identify a personal self with
liberation which is so entirely false...
what is revealed within the non-dual consciousness
is that there was *never* such an entity as
a separate self --
separation has never existed at all...
and one can only say at the point of awakening
that prior to this, one had been within a dream state...
all pairs of opposites such as *i am or am not
good enough* or * i am or am not worthy enough*
hold no water whatsoever when mind falls

ego only knows opposites --
and sets out to try to be perfect
to fill holes and
insecurities due to feeling incomplete...
.. not good enough, not right enough...
..not this, not that...
none of this is *true* --
absolutely none...
and you are not what you *think* you are...
and there is nothing that you have done *right*
or *wrong* that has anything to do
with what you truly are at the core of being...
there is a paradox that great effort *is* needed to
enter liberation ...
but there is no one that remains to claim it in the end
the one making efforts goes... dissolves and
no doer remains...
mind is so not able to grasp it even for a moment...

forever as o ne..

it is mind that identifies
with the passing phases
and shifting tides of thought
in which there arises delusion
as the man who sees his reflection
in the clear pool and states,
lo, that is me..
and disregards the light in which
all reflects..
dear one,
this is your only imprisonment
that you have misidentified yourself
with a body and mind
this error has created a world
within that you cling
all of it is 100% false
unreal as the mirage
in the desert
not one drop of it
rings as truth
so cast it off as if it were
an old soiled robe
leave it to turn to dust
and blow with the wind
think not of this body/mind
identity again ...
as it is to hold you in a trance
that does not show
what is real
not even for a second
if it were another way
i would speak it clear and well
right here now
but it is so not in the least
and if i could bring my heart
to you
and seal it to yours
so that you could walk straight
and be in beauty and truth
like the light you are
i would without delay
but i cannot do this
only you can right what has
been wronged inside
by your clear discrimination
in seeing that which is false
and transient
and that which is true and lasting
oh friend,
so what is it that keeps you in this
way of opposite seeing?
not God
not the world
or any other creature
only yourself
and what will take away your veil
that hides this most plentiful
glory filled light
it is grace alone
and this is to be found *here*
within the pure moment..
come dear
see what is real
and speak only what is right
you will then know your
true nature
and live forever
as o ne...

what a stunning difference.. this light...

in the heart there is a fullness
that is not of minds creation
and an emptiness
in which no separate self resides
just the ocean of pure life
still and beautifully silent *is*
if you are to be in it
even for a brief second
you will taste of the stunning difference
between the world of thoughts
and daydreams
and this perfect, still light
what a stunning difference...

forever free...

time dances in the wind
and dissolves in the heart
when the mind awakens
shadow rises no more
and seeing is made clear
light shines bright
reflecting appearance in awareness
yet no one is there to capture
only stillness reigns
this is the way that one is meant to be
the Lord of yourself
not like a slave to mental wandering
tethered on a rope
to the rising and sinking tides
of mind
you are so much more than this
you are truly forever free
and so over the mind
with its shades of unrest
so will you come to these waters of purity
and drown in the sea of life
that carries no suffering within it?
oh my friend,
i have not cast you out of my heart
i have lived to see you well
and to see you dance freely in joy
and not sit away from what is real
my heart has rejoiced
at your chance to be free
and my singing has called you
to go on...
i love you so inside always
as the SELF that is precious and true
if you could be in the way of hearing
and following your beauty
then i will be so trusting of your
steady steps
and rejoice in happiness
at your coming
i can see you here
where you are meant to be
because i know you not as
a body and mind
but one that is so very pure
and whole
i am to see you here, yes!
and know that you are in the heart
like a one that has come thru the waves
and set things right
like a warrior of freedom
and a flower of beauty

i am *here* friend
come now and *see*

be well always

om shanti

Sunday, December 30, 2012

life can be a joy

what then is holding you back from the light?
is it that you are in need of what cannot be found right here?
or is it that you desire to be in another way
than what grace has now given?
because really dear one
it is only your perception of the situation that is binding
as you have heard so many times about those ones that have lost so much
and those ones in which the body is twisted and misshapen or ridden
with disease and uncomely to look upon...
yet have you not heard that even in this state, there are some in which
grace shines so very bright thru the external appearance
and have you not heard of the ones that appear to have everything
that money can buy including health and handsomeness...
yet are so very unpleasant to be around and so full of mischief
in heart and mind...
not in any way peaceful at all within themselves...

it is really when there is a loss or crises that will show up what is true within...
is there a true faith and a true peaceful detachment?
or is there a bemoaning of circumstances and a clinging to what has been perceived
as loss?
really it is so very much in mind and nowhere else ...
challenge and a shock can indeed push one to the edge of awakening
as it jars loose the complacent reality if one is open...
or it can calcify unrest and suffering if one sits there and wallows...
but why to wait for a big jarring up of your world?
start now to look deeply ....
because complacency is the worst bed partner...
it keeps one lukewarm and within a sluggish way in which there is no change...
come be alert to your life *as it is* with all its seeming imperfections and
forget about them all and *just be*...
life will become a joy this way....

maha shanti om

beauty of the heart

beauty of the heart
you are the one that is to be set free
like a bird that is to fly when the moon is full
you are like the sparrow that lights on the branch
in the evening
and sings a heart melting song
you are the gift that is true
and the heart that is sure and steady
you are the mystery of the deepest ocean
and the glory of rich lands that go on forever
with lush green hills and pastures
and sweet smelling scents that bring
a great happiness to well within
you are the most wanted of all
and you are to be what is revealed in the
one that is steadfast in seeking
oh my how your light shines so very bright
and within perfection
so as to rinse what has been unreal away
like a bath of grace
you are within perfection
yet carry nothing that is of the nature
of other
so bounteous and within all of life
is your glory
it cannot be denied when you come forward
and find your rightful center

most glorious moment

most glorious moment
that rings of clarity
and does not *want*
or have a motive

most wondrous reality
that is not of the nature
of unrest or shadow
but living and being
as it is
never to die
or create a reality that

most precious
this *suchness*
that is made of all
and nothing
and is to right
what is wrong
when it is revealed
as itself

most perfect moment
this beingness
so within beauty
and so truly what life *is*
without duality

completely free...

detachment is primary ...

What is spoken about by the masters is
a putting away of those things that
cause the heart and mind to be in shadow
what this means is the the disciple that walks the path
is not to be desirous of sensual pleasure or
impure company
or wanting to collect wealth and objects that
ring of pride
as this will serve to make of your life one in
which attachment has a fast hold on the
mind and heart..
and will make of your reality one
in which these coveted objects are
to be safeguarded

it is not at all the externals
that are the problem
but the inner attachment that is to be seen
and let go of
because attachment is what creates a feeling
of ownership
and in turn creates delusion
or the feeling of *me and mine*
and with this there is fear (of loss)

if there is indeed a desire within to be in peace
then one is to lay down all that
has been held onto within...
and not to pick it up and cling mentally..

without detachment
one will indeed tread water on the journey
there is no doubt..
this is because attachment is ridden
with waves of unrest...
and will keep the mentation circling

so my friend,
may you look at this
and let loose of thoughts about yourself
and your world all the time
as this will only serve to keep the wheels of
karma and mental grasping central in nature

what is spoken is what all sages, masters,
Buddhas, rishis and Christ have spoken

to be free
detachment is primary
may you see this dear seeker
and may there be a freeing up in your reality...

Great Peace and Om

Christ- the example for the mystic path..

When Christ said
i am the way, the truth and the life
this is for seeker to see that his life was to
be an example for what the mystic path symbolizes
Christ came as a light and did not back down
when the naysayers spoke ill of his words or
attempted to thwart his way of being purely present
he walked straight forward into the fires and did
not grasp at anything in the way of seeking shelter
he moved forward thru the most trying circumstances
including the crucifixion that shook him to the bone
so completely so as to make him sweat blood..
this is no joke when this deep fear comes on this way
and to be set upon the cross by those very souls
who many claimed him as truth in the beginning
but turned a blind eye when he was persecuted.
his life exemplifies the spiritual search in which
there arises a point when there is no turning back and
one is compelled to die into the death that brings eternal life...
he rose again in body as a way of showing that he (the truth) was
indeed living and nothing was taken but the suffering..
which does not mean that the behavior of the masses can
be dismissed
it was indeed the irresponsible mind-sets of the masses and
misconstruing of his pure words and presence that sought
out to destroy his light
it was not that he died *for* the impure actions (or sins) of humanity
in a purposeful way
it was the direct outcome of those minds and hearts that harbored
and nourished the dark within their souls (fear, suspicion, greed
and the like...) so much so that these one sought to do away
with his light...
what is to be seen here is that a mentality that seeks to dishonor
the truth will not prevail in any way shape or form
and will not by any means reign in the kingdom of heaven (which is
eternal light)
because spirit cannot be touched ..
not by one single word, thought or deed...
this pure presence remains eternally as it is forever complete
beautiful and free ....
beyond form, time or mind (be it a mind that is holy or ridden with shadow)..
still, it is a sad reality that the presence of those that are to be so
very amazing, filled with grace and precious water of pure life...
are many times so not honored and not taken into the heart
and imbibed with joy..
instead, these beings can be shunned as well as their words twisted
to serve in a selfish way or worse still persecuted
and this light that is so very precious and so able to speak
to the beautiful untouched nature of humanity is destroyed on one level
(as the physical embodiment of this one will not come again in the same way)
however, the truth is ONE and will live eternally and
is to show itself through many forms time and time again...
as a way of shaking up humanity and giving aide to those that
are ripe in hearing of the perfection within all...

May this light be seen by humanity and honored for the beauty it is...
May it shine bright for all who are sincere to bask within it...

maha shanti om

Saturday, December 29, 2012

as you go about your journey...

as you go about your journey
will you remember your true self always
will you hold only the pure teachings that guide
and not the shadow of mental wandering
will you keep in your heart a faith that all is well
and that all will right itself in time
will you hold in your pack a piece of bread that
is to be eaten in joy as remembrance
of life so graciously given..
will you sing openly the hearts song
with love and praise to be here now
and be glad to have this opportunity
to find freedom...
will you let all life be free and not seek
to posses what was never yours...
will you stay steady within all life experience
and not run when the dark presses in...
will you love the earth the same as your body
and not think of yourself to be
this or that...
will you turn not away from suffering inside
and sit with it in equal mind
will you be content amongst all circumstances
even when all is taken...
will you see beyond the outer expression
and into the heart that is true...
will you find your true home in nature
and not within four walls that hem in...
will you drop the mind of pride and greed
so a fresh reality can enter in...
will you walk the trails of love and light
and seek company that is good..
will you set nothing apart from you
so as to make it high or low...
will you contemplate the truth at dawn and dusk
so as to shed the covers
will you live a way that is within beauty
but care not
if you are applauded or criticized....
will you live life so purely
and within the moment
that your past is completey forgotten...
will you be quiet now in this moment
and allow life to simply flow
as it is....

sit as you are..

to discover the the truth
the mind and heart are to be purified
in the waters of grace 
that sit beautifully silent within your being
but my how this beauty
has been shaded by the dream 
and has been covered over by graspings
has it not been seen that there is no constancy there?
and if this has not been realized 
then what is there to say?
but *look well* and *see*...
because this is the only way to discover
a deeper reality that is to make of your world
a paltry showing
friend if it were said to you in a way
that is like an arrow that 
hit the mark 
still you would not come to hear of it well
if you have not made of yourself
an open vessel in which the 
truth can be poured....
for if you are to be ready
then one must be naked and
free of what has been gathered
not to go about collecting more
concepts for the intellect...
all of it must go..
sooner or later....
this is for certain
would you not say?
then why not now friend?
come into this pure moment
in which there is no
and sit as you are
not as you *hope* to be
then you can make of
your garden rich,
deeply green and
lush with bright life
so very ready to receive
the pure waters that
make of death a false show
in which it loses all power
to haunt...
and makes life to shine perfect
and silent
as it has always been...

how will you tread?

will you be in this way of yours that comes and goes
for a long time yet
or will you seek out the source of your being
in the heart right now
it is not clear to you as of yet
that you are this light that shines so full
because you grasp at the reflections
and seek to make them real
this is not the way to uncover the perfection of now
so precious lying within and waiting

what then will you take up now
dear one of the heart
the family?, the money?, the plans that 
have been so neatly put in a box?
the possessions that sit and gather dust in 
your room?
what then?
if you are indeed wanting of great peace
why then is it that you continue
to claim the world as your own?
as this is sure to bring great waves
of unrest that do not settle....
it is indeed the mystery of maya
the land and playfield of illusion
that has scattered dust in your eyes
and set you off on a chase
such as this....
when will it be
that you tire of this way
that is to be like a
room of mirrors
and smoke
reflecting no true

that which lives as purity has not a 
name or face 
nor does it carry a single drop of 
the personal....
it will not reach out to you except
within your unrest...
so as to say within this transient
place there is no balance
or serenity to be found...
so then my dear
how will you tread from here?
in the shade of *your* wandering alleys?
or in the light of *now* that is to 
bring you away from 
your own destruction...
and uncover great peace eternal
that is unchanging
and sturdy as a mountain range
untouched by the shadow nature
of mind
and forever anchored within

how will you tread?

om shanti

Friday, December 28, 2012

when all has stilled...

oh mind
you are not the maker
of beauty
you are that which gives shade
to purity
and not holy or complete in any way
oh thoughts
how you speak of a world in which
you do not truly know
so narrow is your view
and so not within the light
as to be a paltry imitation
oh mind what is to be known
when it is found that
you are not the center
and never have you been
well maybe you will tread
elsewhere where you are given
but not here now...
as you have quieted down and
have very little to say this moment
so you were really no-thing at all
and what can be said of you
now mind
when all has stilled....
and sweet peace takes
the center
as it rightly should ...

silent as the first snow...

what is to be said when the mind falls
and all is silent as the first snow
and the new dawn?
what is to be done when there are no
more driving thoughts that speak
to direct the dance?
what is to be wanted when desire
has evaporated like ice in the
noon day sun?
what is to be grasped at when no
more fear is present and only rich
empty life reigns
full in glory?

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Be brave..

if it were told to you that there is life beyond mind
would you hear it well and seek it out right away
or would you dance longer in the shade so as to have a bit
more tasting of the world
with its rising and falling appearance that bring nothing that is lasting
would you wonder about it awhile and then quickly get back
to the task of weaving a separate self and looking to the distant
horizon and waiting ....
what would you do friend?
for this is the way to find if you are sure inside
about where you are headed
because to play about in the waves will not make a strong being
that is to walk a path in which one dies a true death
that brings in the end eternal life
and to make a hearty journeyer one needs to indeed be brave and
ready to venture out...
not sit and watch as the *others* get burnt in the fires that purify...
for to sit back will not bring the ease of suffering you seek..
what is needed is *action* and *grit* to be released from your ways
and a heart and mind that does not look back
or cling to what is thought to be lost...
the one that is to take up the path in love and surrender is the best one
to walk it...
and this is not a one that is in constant fear or insecurity...
or so swallowed up by what ifs so as to burden the mind greatly
this will not make for easy travel on the road to find the SELF...
nor will it bring anything beneficial to your search
those that have transcended state in a clear voice, "have no fear"
and this is what is to be heeded....

and to those seekers that are of right heart and mind
and with sincerity say, yes! i would seek out this gem right away
and move forward ...
then with great love i say....
come on now ...
*live* this path and do not keep it separate...
all that lies within it will only make your spirit to shine bright and pure
never will one thing be taken that is not true
this is the way of grace that is purely intelligent
and is what will set all right in the end...

many blessings on your journey...

maha shanti om

there is no magic pill...

what is to be done 
when the end of life is near?
there will not be a compassionate voice that whispers
sweet words to you
or pats you on the back for all the good deeds done
or gently takes from you the suffering mind
that has been so greatly guarded
there will not be a consoler to listen to 
your cries and pleading calls to wait!, stop!
i am not ready...  
may another breath be upon my lungs and 
another wave of strength be upon my legs so as 
to stand sturdy for even a few more hours...
there will be nothing forthcoming to 
bring the body back to what it was or the 
life back as it was cherished so dearly...
your cries will not be taken into account
for death is completely impartial and all 
that has been so very dreaded inside
as the thinker has thought ---
*oh my, a day will come when this very life will end*
and this day *will* indeed arrive and 
so very swiftly too...
my friend, there is no time to wait as 
cannot it be seen that all is taken eventually?
cannot this be seen that the body sinks quickly 
and carries no peace that is lasting
and the sons and daughters so cherished 
grow and go their own way....
the decaying bits of life on the pavement under
the feet and the chill air arriving after the warmth
of yesterday....
all changing so swiftly 
so how then how can you deny that what you hold as 
your own will remain?
or that you indeed own anything at all?
and my dear,
when will you truly begin to let go of the 
conditionings that hold you so captive?
if not now, it will not come at the end easily
not in any way imaginable
is this not enough that shouts to you
shed the wandering ways that create a false
cover and hold you in a blind way...
loose it now and start to *see*
do not feel that there is so much time 
to wait
because there will not be a magic pill
or a sweet word that makes it all right...
one needs to do the work of *seeing*
the false ways that are driving...
and sink into the pure moment...
rest there without grasping
let go of seeing your life and what is in it
as your own....
for this is what creates fear and unrest...
as it is known deeply within that this
is indeed not true
because nothing can be held for long...
so go into that fear
and find it holds no substance 
and cannot keep you in a grip
keep going 
and do not stop until the peace that 
passes all understanding is revealed 
and it *will* be 
if one continues
without looking back
and without pining away at 
what is to be lost...
because in the end nothing is 
but the suffering mind
and life continues to flow
in its pure state
minus the *me* center

so may you begin friend
as this is the only means to
everlasting peace
there is no other way
not through family, friend or any
only through diving deep within the soul
will this truth be revealed
that is to never leave
or bring a single drop of suffering
oh friend
how glorious is this?

may you begin...

maha shanti om

Diksha Ceremony

there was much offered in the past (by Guru) in the way of ceremonies
and practices that are not so freely given now
this is because many students have come asking for blessings
stating that the heart and mind are ready for a deeper commitment to the spiritual search
but later, left the path when something in the world was deemed more desirable
this happened so often that grace that flowed so abundantly back in the earlier days
dried up --
there was much hypocrisy, false words spoken and actions that displayed so clearly
the seekers heart was never in the right place to begin with....
these ones chose to take advantage of what was offered in a way to *gain* something
for themselves ---
it just looked like a good thing at the time and when the road got 
rocky ...  they bailed .....  
a very sad happening
have witnessed it so much over the years and
not just by newcomers, but just as much by those that have been on the path
many a year....  
this is why things have changed so dramatically in the ashram...
it is a direct outcome of those that come with wrong intentions and false words..
by no means is it because Guru is not generous in giving...

Diksha is one of the ceremonies that is not forthcoming like it was....
and it is uncertain what will take place with it.... so do not want to give the impression that it 
is offered freely in the least...
the purpose of writing about it is to give a *feel* for what it is...
then those that are indeed committed within can nourish what it stands for in heart and mind...
as this is what truly really matters.... 

Diksha is initiation given by Guru as a means to bond the seeker to the spiritual path
seekers that take diksha are to be dedicated and sincere within as well as (ideally) desire
to walk the path for a lifetime(s)..
however, (it used to be) that diksha did not carry the heavy commitment of the
renunciates such as celibacy and letting go of worldly life --
(though most, if not all of the sannyasis have taken diksha first)
will say however that the path has now changed so that those that receive the *deeper* teachings
are to now be within the renunciate life ...
these are the only ones that will be offered diksha and/or sannyas (when and *if* this blessing comes forward again in the future)..
this is because the path laid out by Guruji is meant truly to be for those that are 100% dedicated
and are within the mind-set of a renunciate ...
it cannot be walked with one hand gripping tightly to the world and the other attempting to hold  to the path....
there will be no lasting progress this way as it works against the goal of the practices ...
(which is to cut attachments and conditionings so that ultimate liberation can be revealed)...
if there is an unwillingness to let go within, then the energy is working against the grain really
which is not for the best...
if the heart truly desires to be within the world, then better to be honest with this....
this is why *friends of the path* was created
so that those that desire to be in the world
and still continue a connection with the beginning practices and teachings can do so...
such is the way of Guru's grace....

The Diksha Ceremony

The seeker wears white to symbolize purity and coming into the ceremony *fresh*
wiped clean of the past and worldly attachments...
the seeker brings a gift and flowers to offer Guru to show gratitude for the
blessing of initiation as well as the great honor of being in the presence of Guru -
the sadhaka is asked to kneel and propitiate Kali as a way of showing dedication and
offering over of the heart and mind to the path.....
then the sadhaka is asked to kneel before the *empty* Guru chair and again offer up the
heart and mind to the search to liberation....
Guru does not sit in the chair as a symbol of showing that truth is formless and not contained
in a body or mind  -- nor can it be found in any external appearance.....
after this, the sadhaka is asked to kneel in front of Guru in which the mantras are infused in the
chakras -- ending with the heart chakra
each mantra carries a special vibration to break down the conditioned mental holdings and are
extremely potent...
the diksha ceremonies given are similar in some ways, but entirely unique in others depending on the energy that is present....
like all else that is within pure grace, what takes place in the ceremony is spontaneous and perfect for what is needed at the time....
there are special oils used, incense and such that are part of the ceremony as well...
after the mantras are infused --
a spiritual name is given by Guru that has to do with a quality the seeker already has (and needs
to enhance) or a quality that is not present and needs to be nourished...
the vibration of the spiritual name is very potent and aides to wash away the energy of the mundane mind and past attachments....

The energy of the ceremonies are extremely strong, yet completely balanced and can really
bring out strong emotions and/or shifts in consciousness never before experienced....
there is a mystery about it as well as a grace-filled beauty...

Diksha as well as sannyas are indeed honored blessings and are to be cherished dearly
if one has had the opportunity....
if not, no worries....
if the heart is pure, sincere and indeed desirous of liberation
what is needed will unfold in the right time, there is no doubt...
until then, the symbology of the ceremonies point always within and
the *heart* of the ceremony can be nourished, within every moment--

maha shanti om


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Do not wait...

in the lost shadows
where will you make of yourself a home
that is stable and sturdy?
will you race into the waves that come and go
so swiftly so as to lose yourself in the chase
that really go nowhere but back again
where you started?
or will you come further out where the shore
is set at a distance
and the ships bounce up and down on the
rising ocean that speak of a substance
much deeper?

when is the time
that you leave the place that holds you in a trance
and step into the unknown depths of your very soul?

this evening friend
i have come for you in this very time
that is the best time to take a step out into the dark
open night
and be what you are made of in heart
and not to go into yourself in mind like the ones
that are so very lost in their actions and voice
so as to be not even well in body and spirit

i cannot tell you anything but to come
now and do not wait
my time is done in the land of the lost
i am so not able to go back there
i can call to you only from this *now*
as this is where you reside as well in spirit
it is true
i cannot speak to you any other way

oh soul
if there was a way to say that you are well
i would say it rightly, but your ears will not hear of it
or your tongue taste of it
until you step in...
the dark night is moving in hauntingly
and so pressing down
as to say
this time my dear
or when?
leave the shade of your own making
and be yourself for once
as this is the way you are meant to be
within a heart
and mind
that is true

this night
is the time and no other
so full in beauty is this soul of yours
that lights up the night sky in glory
this is your true name and calling
not any other
oh dear
do not wait

now is the time....

The lion and the lamb

i have not come in the way of haunting
or making of myself a name
i have come in the way of love
and have made of this life an open meadow
in which to wander freely without hinderance
i have come like a lion
and a lamb
in purity and beauty as this combination
is what has bred a spirit of great strength
and innocence
i have come in the way of *being* and not 
taking or giving what is not helpful to 
humanity or those that are in need of 
pure water to drink for the soul
i have come like a light 
in the dark of the night
as to make of my presence one that is 
of a hearty and true gift of peace
and do not want what is the nature of
misery or shadow
i cannot be a way that is of misdeeds or
watered down spirit
that dries the earth bed and makes not the 
precious life to bloom in glory
i cannot be of a nature that is of the dark
or the impure
oh my this would not be good at all
or have worth at all
i have come like a child
pure and deeply wise
so mighty in hand and tongue
as to right what is wrong
and seize the wandering energy
reign it in so all is made the way
it is meant to be
within perfection
beautifully true
and glorious

i have come

Monday, December 24, 2012

Time with Guru (part 4 ) - **FLOATING**

it is so nice now that writing is spontaneous and within pure flow
nothing is looked up or consulted..
when the fingers are set to the keys, they just start moving 
and what is meant to show up, does...
it hasn't always been like this...
there was some smooth writing before, but not nearly this way..
since the blog opened -- it just comes without plan,
reflection or a *me* center -- 
the effortless way is so perfect and
struggle feels *heavy* because to be burdened
like this is out of sync with what is 
inherently *natural* for the soul....

there is another story to tell
that is well, maybe just entertaining, fun, interesting, wondrous
or just what happens when one hangs out a lot with Guru 

the title of this story is *floating* ----

i used to go regularly to the pool at the *Y* in Seattle for exercise--
or  just to enjoy kicking around in the water ---
i am an under average swimmer at best and usually grab
on to one or two of those noodles in the deep end 
because it feels so nice to be buoyed up and 
float along without struggle....

one day, i asked Guruji
if she wanted to go with me to the *Y* --
she said, "okay"..
we arrived there, got on our suits and entered the pool --
when we got toward the deep end, i offered Guru a noodle
she took it for awhile...
later when i looked back at her, the noodle was kind of drifting 
behind her and she was floating like a buoy in the deep end --
not moving her arms or anything....
when i said, "Guruji, you didn't tell me you float."
she said, "doesn't everybody?" and i said, "uh, no"
(and i am a perfect example of that )....
she said, she really didn't know how to swim well
but has always floated since she was a kid...
this just struck me so funny as i had never seen this before..
and it was way out of my experience...
Guruji did not get any real exercise while in the pool
because the body just kind of drifted along with ease 
and absolutely no effort...

A few years after this *floating wonder* was witnessed,
Guruji and i took a trip one winter to California in search of sun
since the weather gets so grey and cold in Seattle day after day
around this time...
we stayed at a hotel by the water  -- 
the hotel had an outdoor pool which looked very inviting
and refreshing especially since there was a bit of warm sun out...

after we settled in, i did decide to take a dip or two in the water... 
the first time, swimming was the usual kick around 
and grab a floatie type deal ...
the next time, Guruji hung out on a lounge chair near
the pool reading while i did my usual bit in the pool...
i was paddling in a back float for awhile which came to 
a stilled kind of rest that was quite peaceful...
after this, the body began to float quite easily in a way that was different ..
(this took place in the deep end.)..
when i told Guruji about it, she watched and said to relax into it..
which i did and then the body began floating like a buoy...
one could literally be *sitting* in the deep end with no kicking or paddling
even cross-legged and the form floated effortlessly....
after the body felt relaxed, there were all sorts of poses that 
came -- 
and there was such a stilled, lightness to it...  
this was definitely a wondrous surprise at the time..
and so out of what was the usual way
and so much more fun and restful as well...
which just goes to show that anything can change
radically at any time...  
no one knows...
it is a very magical unfolding within the 
timing of grace...    

the floating thing gets forgotten
until one gets in the pool and *there it is* ....  
and lets suffice it to say...
the noodle has gone by the wayside...

just sharing some of the funny things that happen
when one hangs out a lot with Guru....   

maha shanti om

The gift...

I have set by your door
a lantern and a staff
to bear your weight on the
journey to yourself
i have laid a bright colored
wrap for the cold
and a gift for you to open
if you find that you are
in need of something other
my friend
then call inward and see
the light that shines
as clarity
this will open the way
and warm your days
and nights

so if you are to
then pick up the staff
that has within it
the teachings that guide
and the strong substance
of wisdom that is to
hold you sturdy

if you fall for a time
do not give up
this momentary glitch
will only strengthen your will
if you rise in gratitude
determined to continue
holding the goal of
freedom near...

the lantern is the glow
of the heart that will be
inside to show up what
is true (unchanging)
and what is false (transient)
it will be the light of
wisdom that is inherent
in the soul of your being

the wrap will
hold you
internal so mind does not
go outward
and is to be your
mat to sleep on
or a prop for your
head when you rest under
the stars...

the gift is what lies waiting
when all the covers fall
and the shadows dance no more
and there is a joke in there too
that will make you laugh
and laugh
it is the best of all....

so my friend,
you are now well equipped
for your walk into the unknown
which will bring you to
the open light
that has alway been
and is the beauty
of your soul...

may you go well
in love and joy

great peace

maha shanti om

Time with Guru (part 3) - the early days...

During the first several years
especially of being
in the presence of Guruji
there was so much generous sharing of
her life and wisdom which was such
an awesome honor

after our first meeting,
i spent the days with her while
the body and mind were
here and there, she would open
a spiritual text
and read out loud
passages that substantiated
her pointings ...

When she read the books, she
would pause intermittently to
explain what was being said
and the meaning and worth it
had for the spiritual path...
She read the Guru's sandals,
books on Hindu deities,
Buddhist/Zen scriptures
Christian texts and passages
from the Bible as well as
many books having to do
with self-discovery ....
her readings and explanations
were soaked in immensely and
greatly cherished
it really opened the heart up
to the beauty and depth of
spiritual symbology and
gave clarity as to where the
passages actually pointed to --

***the heart of all sincere spiritual
writings are the same -
and are meant to point the way
to the non-dual
nature in which all personhood
is dissolved...
this was made so very crystal
clear while listening to Guru..
Even symbols like the Guru's sandals
speak to what lies within
all hearts ---
(liberation and absolute pure
which is to be cherished
and held the most dear...
what Guru put much stress on
was seeing the purifying energies
such as Kali, Kundalini, Ganesha
Christ or what have you as
not separate from your own being..
and not to project out into feeling
there was something outside
that was to save you
or make things right...
this mentality only serves
to further duality and suffering..***

if a picture came up in a book
of Ma Kali or any other deity
or spiritual image
Guru would point out what the
the meaning of the symbology was
in the framework of how it
related to the spiritual search
and clear away any misguided notions
or superstitions around it that
the world at large appears to
carry much of the time...
she gave honor to the
images in a way that gave
them such vibrant
life and rich meaning...
really so very beautiful...
all of the discussions like this
with Guruji were completely
spontaneous and unfolded
on their own..
there was never anything planned
and it was so absolutely
clear that there was
no self-interest in her being
all was given freely with
no expectation or feeling
of ego present ...
what was given was given
and then forgotten...
this was so refreshing and
lacking of any burden of mind
simply, pure grace....

i learned quite early to not
always be asking
"what does this mean?" or
"what does that mean?" because
it seemed to throw a wrench on the
spontaneity of the flow ..
by doing this some other
jewel of information got missed...
and in time the questions that were
there (well most of time
they were forgotten)
but came
forward in the right time....
Guruji used so many words that i
had never come across before
(i really mean it when i say there
was truly no prior experience of
all that she was speaking of )
she used words like *satsang*
*flow*, * surrender*, *diksha*
*sadhaka*....   all sorts of
foreign feeling terms that i did
not ask her about, but waited
and of course the meaning became
clear eventually....

all in it's own time....

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Diamond Sutra

the Diamond Sutra are the traditional scriptures
on the discourses of the Buddha to his disciples
in some of these discourses,
the Buddha speaks of impermanence and transcendence
of thought and wandering mental ways
he speaks in eloquence as to what is permanent and 
what is not permanent 
his speach is one that calls the disciple 
to question what is held as a *philosophy* about 
enlightenment and to slice through these false notions
like a vajra (or lightening bolt) 
Buddha shoots down any mental concepts that may 
be harbored within and held as being truth
such as *high* teachings that are attached to...
just as the finger pointing to the moon
is not the moon
no matter how *high* the pointing, it is also
false if grasped to as reality --

it is the nature of thoughts to come
and go and be unstable...
and that which is high will eventually sink low 
and change again...
it is for this reason that **all**mental concepts 
are false, no matter how wise they appear...
and sometimes it is these *high* held belief 
systems that are the hardest and most stubborn to fall
because they are so deceptively *good* and *right*
in appearance...

so then, what is to be done?
-question within that which comes and goes
how can this be real?
-come back to the practices and rest in the heart
-do not be satisfied with any mental concept - 
including concepts about reality or enlightenment -
-stay in the moment
-one thing at a time

with great love and light
maha shanti om 

what is original mind?

what the masters call the *original*
is what existed prior to the separative  
it is the pure reality that gives potential
for all appearances to be 
it is the mind stripped bare of shadow
and conditioned covers that hide 
it is like the lamp that
shines on the waters 
and reveals the ripples or the 
rushing waves
this is the nature of the original mind
to light up what it is here 
as an objective witness 
and nothing else...

it appears as o ne singular
it has no qualities within it
it does not come or go 
it does not rise or fall
it does not follow sensual happenings
it is distinctly different in nature 
than that which carries mentation
it cannot be held in the grip of the personal
nor does it belong to any-body
it is just what it is
raw beingness, consciousness and bliss

What could be better?

what could be better than a light
with no shadow
what could be better than a moon
with no cloud cover
what could be better than a song 
with no singer
what could be better than a heart
with no deception
what could be better than waters
with no impurities
what could be better than love 
with no clinging
what could be better than a soul
with no wandering ways..
what could be better than a moment
with no past or future
what could be better than a land
with no barriers
what could be better than an understanding
with no thought
what could be better than a morning
with no residue of mind
what could be better than a sleep
with no dream
what could be better than an eye
with no defect
what could be better than a reality
with no separation
what could be better than a life
with no death
what could be better than a joy
with no sorrow

tell me my friend,
what could be better than this....  

maha shanti om

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Merry Christ-mas to all...

The birth of Christ is the coming of truth
that shines like a beacon
on a dark night 
it is a precious offering to behold
as the showing up of a most glorious 
being in the nature of truth and beauty
that has come to speak of the way back 
to the heart of peace
what Christ spoke of was not to go into 
thoughts about life and philosophies
but to be in the moment 
wiped clean of all imaginings that carry
one elsewhere
his message is one of perfect love
and does not give way to that which 
brings sorrow...
what a joyous occasion that this being
opened the way for those hearts that are
willing and desirous of *seeing* what is true
what a joyous time to be a participant of such grace
and to have the path carved out so well
so as to walk it clear of obstacles 
it is said that Christ was the master of 
beauty --
a beauty that is within and absolutely well -
a beauty that is *living* and never dies
a beauty that no shadow can ever touch
this is what is written in his words that 
spoke so richly of all being
set *right*
when one surrenders fully to grace
and lets go of unproductive ways...

his being is like a king that came 
that was not at all driven or touched
by desires or externals..
he was like a beautiful bird that lights
on the branches for all that came near
he was not lacking in a clear, strong voice
that spoke of misdeeds and misunderstandings
that were not good or well --
this is the compassion and love that is within
a o ne that has stilled the thoughts
and has nothing driving...
only what remains is love and light
and is what is to bring those to 
the heart where there is no more 
suffering --
and no more walking away from the 
which is eternal

May all rejoice this Christmas
and be within the heart
in love and gratitude
for what is here 
and for the light 
that shows the way...

Let freedom ring...
Maha Shanti Om

Friday, December 21, 2012

why chase worldly drama?

if you are in the way of making something
exceptional of your life
then why are you off into worldly drama?
there is nothing that will be found there that
eases your suffering...
the *truth* alone
is what will take the ache away
that has come from
grasping at shadows
it is a very sad thing that a one that is
to be desirous of liberation
continues to buy into and chase
worldly happenings ...
as this will not bring the goal
of freedom near...
it will only serve to hold blinders in place..
what takes place in the world
is indeed filled with emotion
in every direction,,,,
this is not to be held as the most attractive
because to be enmeshed within it
will not take away a single tear ..
which does not mean that one is not
sad or happy within the moment of
certain events
and will not respond to them in
a way that is true
it simply means that to keep *cranking*
on an event or happening is to lose
what is taking place in this moment...
and to lose clear *seeing*-
(which is what will maintain
clarity and balance )
it is the best help to all of nature
and humanity when one rests
settled in the heart within quietude
and silence no matter the conditions
then the words or actions that come
are right and well
and will speak to the situation with
balance and sincerity
and will bring a shift to those that
are open...
and what the
world is so desperately
in need of is *balance*...
so, friends of the heart
be real and just
be what you are without all
the drama...
the  world patterns will play out
as this has been in motion
from time beginning...
what is to be done lies
within --
and then what comes forward
from this center of being
will be for the best
there is no doubt...

May all be well --

maha shanti om

the light that you are

it is like
the moon against
the dark night
so outstanding in
its light
as to be undeniable
this is your true
my friend
and you are the
only one
that can find it

Thursday, December 20, 2012

be with what is here...

Be with what is here
not in the drama of mind
as this only serves to create
more shadows
and false realities...

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Time with Guru (part 2).... first meeting

The first meeting with Guruji was set up to be
at Traveller's (an indian tea house in Seattle)
i was completely *green* as to what a Guru
was or was not --
i had no experience with a spiritual path
and knew nothing of what the *core*
of spiritual practices were about really..
just had winged my own practices..
****(a mix of Buddhist chants picked up
from readings, severe sitting meditation
in which i covered the eyes with a
blind-fold and meditating in graveyards
--- just a simple, gentle little blend would say ..
don't you agree? hahahaha
 ... so not true. would advise to please
use this as an example of what *not to do* because
these types of random practices
are very potent and can ignite kundalini
rapidly which is indeed what took place
there were spontaneous yoga moves that came
forward that were beyond what this
form had every done --
in fact had
never, ever engaged yoga --
so to stand
on the head and twist into pretzels was very new
there were spontaneous mantras and songs
in a foreign tongue (which had no idea
of the meaning and only learned later what
some of the chanting meant.. )
there were seeing colors and lights --
popping, clapping, bird sounds, bells
**which is known as the nad**
constant perceptual shifts
*** feeling like one is very tall and then the
next minute very small**
a stream of visions
and blown up mental phenomena...
**and this went on 24/7**
and much more...
this is why am advising
don't go about your journey this way...
if there is no Guru in place, PLEASE go slow
with these types of energetic practices.. they are
no joke...
this phenomena had
been ongoing for 5 yrs or so before
meeting Guru
but came to a crises when became
very physically ill and was unable to work
so when met Guruji, the form was extremely
with dark circles under the eyes and
i was in a lot of fear and mental spin
definitely a walking
mess of i don't know what....)***

i managed to get to Travellers in spite of the
poor shape the body was in....
i arrived before Guru and sat at a table
looking out the window wondering what
this meeting would be like....
soon i saw a woman walk by with a little
dog on a leash (which was none other than
the infamous Miss Radhe )..
i knew right away it was Guruji...
She did not look like
the stereo typical image of a Guru that
one might see in books --
***like those in a lotus position with a
loin cloth or with a constant smile of
bliss and flower like words that pour
forth in a stream ..***
Guru did not come in this type of
stereotypical package at all....
that Guru looked like an ordinary person
was so very refreshing and calming to
the mind right away....
as this felt to
be a being that i could connect with
also, she had lived a regular life
and struggled like the rest of us
this was made quite clear by the mails and
exchanges up to this point...

Guruji walked in and sat down
across from me at the table
her manner was relaxed and
her presence was light
with humour
that came through often...
and again this calmed the mind
and being right away....

she answered all my questions
with patience and love
***i know that some are afraid of Guru
or feel she is stern and serious...
this is so far from the truth...
her being has such a gentle, sweet dearness
within it
and will tell you this is truly her usual way...
if a *roar* has come out (which is tough
love) it is only that the situation has required it
in order to wake one up from the strong grip
of delusion that is taking over ...
because have been on this side of the fence
also and can speak to the benefit and love
and compassion within tough love as well....
all of it is grace, there is no doubt..**

The pointings that really struck during this first meeting
**what you need protection from is yourself **
and that *you are your own worst enemy**
also, she spoke to what liberation is --
**when the mind stills**
she said, **if i can do it, anyone can**
this is because she had such a hard time
of it .. and raised a child by herself within
the midst of it -- which was the same
situation as here...
this helped so much and gave hope that
it was possible to transcend suffering
even through very difficult times...
She said many things that brought a smile
and lightness to the heart which took away
the seriousness about the whole thing...
as well as honored kundalini for what it was
**that it gives the opportunity to enter
liberation in this lifetime if one is sincere**
  She was very generous in sharing her
experiences while in the midst of the journey
and laying to rest the fears that were coming forward.
then she said that i should go home and rest
because i looked like i needed it hahahaha...
which was true, of course....

Was back to work and functioning again
after about a month of working with Guruji...
what grace....

maha shanti om

the most honored way of living -

what is the most honored way of living?
if one is a king or a popper 
there is no better way to live than
within detachment and the heart
this is what makes of a life that 
is to be sturdy and true in nature
like King Janaka -
he lived a royal life surrounded
by magnificient objects and 
had all that money could buy
yet he ruled in a detached way
and came to be known as one 
that is liberated and still within
worldly life...
by this type of ruling or carrying
out his deeds there was a compassion
and equal-mindedness that came 
forward which served humanity 
in the best possible way...

King Janaka was a *deep seer*
he did not pay attention to the
wealthy conditions in which he lived 
instead he penetrated the layers of mind
and eventually was able to discern the 
false (the transient)
from the true (the unchanging)
and by this strong discrimination gained

King Janaka's life is an example of living most
and it is these types of fine examples
that are to be followed within life
if one is sincere in the search towards

maha shanti om  

Time with Guru (part 1) ....first exchanges

The sannyasis, Guru and i were at breakfast
the other day and we were laughing at some
experiences Guruji and i have had together..
some are very funny
some only funny (after the fact)
and some wondrous
or maybe just another ordinary day
within the exraordinary...
don't know and doesn't matter ...
but Sachi had mentioned maybe writing some down..
may do this from time to time while there
are still a few memory cells left hahaha...
we will see what flows out....

A good place to start seems to be the first
exchanges with Guruji...

when i first met Guruji i was extremely ill
and very much caught up in fear
for lack of understanding what was taking
place (due to a spontaneous kundalini opening)
i did not know how to proceed
in a beneficial way on the journey

one day, i typed in kundalini on
the computer as had
heard that word and read it somewhere
way back ...
when Guruji's name popped up
her writing spoke about completing
the journey and that every step (as hard as it
was) was worthwhile ....
i wrote to her a very desperate mail about
what was taking place and then did not
check the computer for some days .. just
not really feeling like anything would happen
there as had been offered so much
nonsense in the way of so called *help*
that for the most part only served to create
more imbalance, fear and desperation..
**(possibly these ones had good intentions,
but lacked any direct experience, knowledge
or balance within them to offer pointings or
spiritual guideance that had any true value.)**

i eventually did check the computer and
was amazed that Guruji *had* written back -
her responses were well written and clear
which was seen right away, but more than
this a transmission penetrated that
was not of words....
(this is the unspoken grace that comes
through when a connection with
a realized being is in place
that works to bring about balance)
there were several exchanges that took
place at this time --
one of the main pointings that really
struck was *go through consciousness
and the body will follow...*
also, the pointing of
*not paying attention
to the body and thoughts --
to witness mind, rather than
getting caught up in it*...
these pointings along with beginning
to eat meat as well as Guru shedding light
on the goal and purpose of kundalini
and the phenomena that can arise...
all stand out as being so very helpful
during this stormy time --

Guruji was in india when the initial
exchanges took place...
in one mail, she asked where i lived
and i told her Capitol Hill
in Seattle, Washington
she said, that her daughter lives on Capitol Hill
and that she was planning on moving
here soon....
this was quite a wonderful surprise to hear....
that Guru was going to come to live in
my neighborhood out of all the possible places
in the world.
what grace!

but such is the inherent intelligence of the universe
manifesting the next step when the heart is ready...

Monday, December 17, 2012

advaita not good when watered down...

it seems there is a lot of confusion surrounding advaita
this is why there is so much layering over 
of the pure teachings 
because many that read the advaitic writings or hear satsang
are not in the way of truly hearing what is being said
instead, they listen half way and color over with 
what they *want to hear* 

advaita is the non-dual reality
that is uncovered when
all that is not of pure nature falls
those souls that have entered into it 
can speak directly as to *what it is*
and more importantly *what it is not*

what has flowed out of this direct experience of 
advaita are writings, practices and satsang that speak
to the right way of walking the path
as well as negating what is not at all in alignment with
the non-dual
much trouble comes from twisting the words of  
these pure teachings 
because the light that is offered is obscured 
and what is brought
forward to humanity is a watered down version of the 
original understandings and knowledge
this sets those seekers
that are lacking substantial motivation 
and clear intentions on an even shakier course 

it is very important to listen with an openess to the 
advaitic teachings (leaving your own philosophy
about it by the wayside)
so that this wisdom can enter and truly
begin to work in the right direction
otherwise one is lost yet again on another road that
(though may feel more broad in terms of knowledge)
will only serve in the end to create a different set of bondage
**one that is even more sneaky and very hard to be rid of**
this is called the *spiritual ego*
have seen this many times -
where students come and partake of the teachings 
and then leave as soon as there is an opening 
due to mind latching on and making more 
of the experience than what it is --- 
so this person feels like they finally *have* something
when really they have just traded one set of
conditionings for another ......
which only serves to further delusion....

Sunday, December 16, 2012

heart pointings

what is true?
 - that which brings happiness to others

what is the right way?
 - that which follows God

what is the wrong way?
-that which is out of sync with the natural laws

what is whole?
-that which does not separate

what is to be done?
-efforts towards truth

what is to be said?
-words that aide humanity

what is freedom?

what is death?

what is beautiful?
-that which is holy and within grace

what is false?
-that which is transient

what is real?
-that which is unchanging

what is fear?
-that which hides

what is joy?
-that which is 0-ne

what is to be most cherished?
-company of the wise

what is to be most loved?
-Guru's pointings

what is to be most contemplated
-the scripture, Guru's pointings
and the transient nature of all things

what is grace?
-that which is not of the *me*

what is sorrow?
-separation from the pure

what is a friend?
-he who guides one towards the  good

what is an enemy?

what is to be sought?
-your true nature

what is blind?
-ignorance (ego)

what is clear?
-the light of Guru and wise souls