a hole in the wall

in the time of light and love

there lived a man that had all that money could buy

he was like a rich man outwardly

stocked full of all that could be delighted in by 

the eyes, ears and tongue 

he lived in his home built up with a sturdy fence 

around it and kept his possessions secure

and with him in his mind 

even when he was gone from his house he held 

them in his mind with attachment 

one day a robber came and stole some of his things

and the man was furious saying how can this be?

that someone came in and stole my belongings thru the fence

that was locked and made of hard stone and built up

strong and sturdy

he was angry even in his sleep about it and could not 

shake it off for anything 

but one day he saw what had happened

that there was a hole in the wall where someone could squeeze through 

and he said, aha! there it is!
and he went about in a huff looking for something to repair the hole
and when he came back with all that he had gathered
and stood before the hole

he stopped for a minute and felt a strong breeze come through 

the open space that was very refreshing and wondrous 

and smelled of fragrances that floated over the sea and lands 

from afar 

he was stopped in his tracks by this wonderful new feeling
and sat still and quiet simply enjoying the sensation
that brought a sweet smile to his face
and with this small experience he broke down the wall 

and sat and looked about him at all that he had barred in from himself 

there were mango trees across the way and beautiful lavender flowers

that smelled simply divine and a water fountain that sounded like soft rain 

right next door

and friendly faces that waved at him and smiled 

he had never really seen these things before with this type of 

perspective 

and he felt refreshed and a bit more light to be in this open space

how he had caged his soul from life thought he 

and he started to relax in his heart and felt a bit of peace 

that he had never felt 

who was this robber that came to him and lightened his heart? 

could it be that it was grace that opened him to himself 

as this was kind of funny that something that was so upsetting in 

the beginning turned around right 

hmmmmm  maybe he did not know

about what brings happiness at all

so he let himself ponder this awhile 

and then stopped thinking about it and went into his house 

and enjoyed what was there 

for he did not worry about it anymore 

and he was so very much happier and pleasant to be around 

his family was happier 

his friends were happier 

his work mates were happier 

and he my friends, did not build another wall around him

and he lived much freer

rushing waters

there was once a man that was in his mind shell

he was to make life like something 

that was hard or pushed against him always

he did not attempt to break out of this way of being 

in judgement of the world 

he stayed in himself like this for a long time 

when he was working and when at home 

when he was with others and when he was alone 

when he was standing and when he was sitting

he was in his mind this way 

one day he was walking across a bridge

with water racing underneath 

he looked down and saw a spot of life 

that was clinging to a rock 

it held there with such tenaciousness it seemed to 

him even with the water 

rushing so strongly and obviously to overpower 

and sweep it away

he thought my how his mind is this way 

and then let it go and went about his business 

and then another day there was another 

experience that happened 

when walking over the bridge 

when he looked at the water he felt for a moment 

that the water was like himself 

rushing all the time 

and not really going anywhere 

this is what appeared to him
like an insight 

and he stopped at the bridge a minute 

for the first time and looked over the water 

and into the sky of great wide expanse

and took in the bright bits of color of nature 

that played about here and there in the 

shafts of sunlight 

and watched the birds fly freely and listened 

to their call

and he felt different for just a moment 

as he had never stopped like this and really looked 

at life 

with eyes that were not in judgement or making up a story 

about it 

and he breathed deeply and sighed and felt lighter 

for just a moment 

and then he walked over the bridge and disappeared 

on his way into the world...

living waters

the sadhu in the morning light
goes to bathe in the ganges
where he sets his coverings on the bank
he goes in naked and
does not look back at the steps
that lead into the world
he takes his form into the rushing waters
and sinks down deep where there is
simply the beauty of the absolute
he then
puts his head in the water
like a baptism
that sheds the impurities of
worldly attachments that
he has come to know
and he allows the waters to
take away from him his burden
that has been heavy to his soul
he does not resist the waters
for this is what his soul is made
of in truth
purity
and he is to be made unto this light
the sadhu has put to rest his
personal world
this is not his anymore
nor was it ever
he puts it down into the earth
at the bottom of the water
to be carried away with the current
for his personal life is not at all real truly
it is what has taken him somewhere else
out to the land of shadows
what then is he to do now
that his mind is purified in grace?
he does nothing at all
simply lives free without the false ways
he lives as a man that is pure
in mind and heart
he lives like a sage of beauty
he is light
and joy and truth
what else can he be?
when the ground is entered
for there is nowhere else to go

the sadhu that enters the waters of ganga
has within a burning desire for freedom
he is a man of desire
that is of only *one* desire
not many that are pulling him in opposite directions
he burns to know the truth
as a one that is thirsty and hungry
and trembling inside with the desire to know
and to be free of what it is that is unwell in heart and mind
he is a seeker of heart
not a seeker of the world and heart
this cannot be steady
it is to make a man wobbly on his feet and in his
mind because one cannot walk in two directions at once
he is a man that is on ONE road only
to the truth
he comes into the waters and dies there to the light
this is why his initiation is like his funeral truly
because he is not to return to his old life of mundane
experience in which he was a such and such
with a name and role and all of that
he is now a sadhu which is nameless and not
of an identity that can be put in a box anymore
so he merges with the waters of the divine
as if he was the *offering*
he *is* the offering
his attachment to body and mind are what are to go to the waters
and be dissolved there (within the light)
the sadhu then walks away into the world
but is not of it
he places his feet on the earth
and walks into the lands of the transient way
but he is not any more within the changing tides
his being is still and absorbed always in quietude

so this my friends is the way of the sadhu
that is sincere
it is not different than one the comes into the light
within and is surrendered in heart and mind
it is the living waters within
that will clean the mind of dross
and purify the soul
it is the living waters within that will drown
the separation
and so onward now
without the baggage and the thoughts that say
i am not good enough or right enough to go into
the waters
it is these thoughts that will block you from your
pure self
for there are none that cannot enter
only the heart and mind are to be purified
with honesty and good character
and steady ways --
this will bear fruit in time
for sure
but for now go on and love what is here
be in love with the pure soul
that is so fresh
be in love with this moment
and go on

can you just be?

where are you to sit in the garden

that is in full bloom? 

i cannot say 

for you are here to take something away?

or have you come with an offering?

there is nothing to give to this perfection

my dear, what is better is to just sit and be 

yet how unfamiliar this is 

not really

as it is your true being 

not anything apart from you

so can you come into the garden that is 

in it's glory

and sit 

just sit and be? 

where are you to be in the garden?

under the tree there is great shade for you

and by the pond a nice bench to sit on 

and over by the porch some stairs to climb

with a great chair that is comfortable 

you can sit there if you choose 

but where will you be in your mind? 

out roaming elsewhere?

or will you be here enjoying the beauty of the moment?

will you be in the garden?

or somewhere else?

when you come into the garden that is in full bloom

do you smell the fine fragrance about?

how lovely is the smell of lilac and herb

and rosemary

how very glorious is the smell of fresh earth

and wonderful deep green life 

it is fine like this indeed 

and it is made in joy

like all else that is of nature 

can you feel it in yourself as all?

my dear 

can you?

when you come into the garden in full bloom

set your bags by the gate 

do not bring them in to this precious life 

that is eternal

because if you do, there will be no presence 

that is pure 

there will be a heavy way 

and this cannot be real

so be free when you enter 

and leave *your things* 

by the gate 

so that your heart is light and in love 

and in the consciousness that is of fullness 

and sweet life 

that is one 

this one, so blessed

blessed is he that rights the wrongs 

blessed is he that purifies his own soul

blessed is he that falls not away from the real

blessed is he that lives in the moment

blessed is he that takes nothing away

blessed is he that takes nothing from the world 

blessed is he that takes nothing from the well of life 

blessed is he that takes nothing from experience

blessed is he that does not cling to the past

blessed is he that forgets the world and it's dance of change

blessed is he that forgets the world and it's shadows that play about

blessed is he that sits in the heart as love and light 

blessed is he that sits in the heart as non-dual perfection

blessed is he that flows with life as a river without blockages

blessed is he that sees all as his own soul shining

blessed is he that sees all as not to be attached to 

blessed is he that sees all as not be possessed 

blessed is he that does not shield the heart from life 

blessed is he that does not create a world from thought 

blessed is he that does not cover light by thinking and thinking 

blessed is he that lives simple and quiet with what is here

blessed is he that though with a body knows he is not that 

blessed is he that though with a body knows he is Shiva always

blessed is he that though comes and goes in body 

knows he does not come and go in truth 

blessed is he that though moves about in the world is not of the world

blessed is he that though sees the world of plurality knows he is eternally singular

blessed is he that is still and present and not within mental unrest 

blessed is this one of all 

this heart that is full and always 

this one that is here 

this one 

so blessed 

you must come back

dear,
you lived *here* once
when the story was not in play
prior to the world being created
you lived as perfection
and beauty
so much of a gem in heart
yet you find yourself away now
and this is not right
you must come back
where there is no more unrest and
falling down of pure spirit
you must come back
where mind is not in action or
at the center
you must come back to your heart
that breathes as one in all
and is so living with abundance
flowing
you must come back
to the sea where all began
and did not know anything other
you must come back
where Kali is one
with her beautiful partner Shiva
and has never been separate
you must come back where Lakshmi
is not an image
but a reality where wealth of spirit
flows free
and all is calm and pure
you must come back
where Ganesha is no longer working
to destroy the obstacles
for he lay lifeless and within the heart
as all that has been seen as barriers is removed
you must come back to the time of Durga
where she has slain the mind
and cut the head of ego
and laughs in the joy of liberation
she has tamed the mind
and this is what is left
this perfect heart
you must come back
where your bed of dreams has died away
and the love of all is what rings
real and forever as o ne
you must come back to the
home of now
and be set in light
like a full moon on a clear evening
like a sun in it's zenith
and a mountain of great majesty
you must come back to the ocean
and be in yourself so joyful and open
and living
you must come back to mind
in it's natural state
without the shadow play
without the thoughts of me and you
without the burden
and the grief
and the waiting for something to be another way
you must come back to the present
the gift
the light and love
the beingness that does not waver or die
or sing of untruth
yes friend you will return
for i know you as a light
you will come home and be yourself
for i know you are a man of beatitude
you will come back

if you are sincere...

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

do good and right with yourself and others

so that there are no actions that bring 

you to grieve later...

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

come under the halo of a perfected being and 

lay your life there to be purified ...

for there is only good and not bad that will come of this ...

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

make haste to know the o ne 

as if there is a great thirst 

that will not let go 

until the refreshment of non-dual consciousness

is tasted 

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

keep the focus on God and love and light 

not on bitter or angry feelings 

as these will only fester and bring pain to the soul

which does not help to bring freedom

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

lay your burden down here to be swallowed by grace 

for there will be no joy and lightness that comes from

carrying a burden long and long 

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

tread steadily to the glory of Shiva

like a man that is not to be led astray by anything 

that sings of *other* ...

yet be open in nature to what comes and goes 

without attaching ...

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

do not worry about the body 

for it has it's time like all else and will eventually pass

do not waste the time that is given now

and make efforts to know yourself

as existence, consciousness and bliss

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

set your fear to rest 

because all that have entered liberation say 

*have no fear* and this is to be heeded well

and not just heard and dismissed 

for fear is a great block to freedom 

as well as distraction of mind...

if you are a one that is sincere in heart 

stop focusing on your little world so much 

and what is to come and go within it ...

and be free of this anxiety and thought that keeps on..

see it as an empty playing out 

and set yourself apart from the ramblings as a one that is 

detached and at rest...

open heart..

the seeker that comes to the master

is to be open in heart and mind

he is to be ready to receive like an empty vessel

he is like a one that does not know 

and does not look to understand by mental calculations 

or comparing what he *thinks* is right 

to what is being spoken as truth 

if he wants to know what God (the pure soul) is directly
and what it is not...

he can only know this by imbibing the non-dual knowledge 

of a one that rests in this light 

he cannot know what is real by any other means 

for to say one knows, implies that the journey has been traversed 

in full and mind is still and resting in beautitude, and glory of the 

non-dual

the mind cannot know it or even begin to hear it ...

what takes in the blessing of truth is the heart that is open 

it receives as pure intelligence that is not tainted by the story of 

me ...

this is grace which has it's own nature that is not to be seen 

by a persona ...

the man that comes to the master lays down his pretense 

of being *someone* in the world

that is a certain way in mind and body and opens

to hear the living truth that flows 

from the lips of one that cannot be otherwise --

for this one is freed of shackles of worldly attachments and thoughts 

he does not know anything but truth and yet knows 

the mind in and out due to traversing every aspect of it 

and coming out the other end shorn clean of this energy 

that manifests as thoughts and concepts ...

so the man that is seeking is not to put himself above or below in mind 

as this is completely false ... but to be without barriers and internal

judgements ...

then the truth can penetrate which is what will break down the 

structure of mind ...

the man that seeks is to make himself available to truth 

by his honest character...

this is very important as it shakes out the deception that lurks in the mind 

the shadows cannot be justified so easily within honesty...

which means keeping one's own counsel as well as being 

up front in action, word and deed...

not hypocritical or confused and labile (or back and forth)...

steady in clean living inside and out.. ....

the master will bring forward what needs to be said --

but the most powerful work is thru pure silence of mind in which

the master lives and breathes...

this is incomparable in terms of breaking down the illusion that is 

at the forefront for the seeker ...

the silence of mind that comes to a one that has completed the journey 

is the same unto all when the coverings fall --

there is nothing beyond this to know or live ...

at this point, the journey is done, finished, over and completed 

there cannot be anything beyond pure stillness that carries no drop 

of *other* within it ...

this is what remains in the heart when all else that is disturbing 

as thought falls and dies away...

then the truth is revealed and this is *one without a second* 

this pure consciousness that remains
is the most glorious and the most beautiful...

the most rich and the most auspicious 

the most compassionate and the most clear 

all of it --
yet there is no way to describe it --

this freedom is not anything to take casually...

but to make efforts and move forward *into*...

until this richness that is the SELF of all is known and lived ...

have you opened your eyes today...

brother
have you seen the sky today
in its beautiful glory
have you smelled the lovely flowers
and sat by the cool flowing river
have you watched in wonder
at the shifting states of beauty
that have come to your eyes and ears
night is drawing near
and enveloping the day glow
within the fading light..
is your love growing as a glorious tree
in the fullness of summer
making you to forget your
little world of cares...
and as the head rests on the pillow
is your heart focused within
the blessings that are
here and now
a most sweet peace
melting in
oh dear one
have you opened your eyes
today...

if the seas parted...

if the seas parted
and the land became a great paradise of awesome wonder
would you fall to your knees in deep joy and gratitude?
would you sit still and really *see* what is here in this moment?
would you imbibe it deeply
as if there were no tomorrow?
what will it take dear
to open your eyes?
this way of mind robs one of seeing rightly
and makes what is here to
look faded and not well at times...
this is so not true
what is here is nothing short of beauty that lives and sings now, now
and again now...
there is nothing more glorious dear seeker than this moment,,,
you can see or not see...
but still life is pure and flowing always ...
always....

Kundalini

kundalini is the serpent energy that lays dormant at the base of the spine
it can be opened by spiritual practices and a heartfelt desire to know the truth
or by transmission from Guru or many other less pure means such as drugs, reiki and tantric practices...
a shock to the system can also awaken kundalini --
when the goddess energy is aroused, all sorts of havoc can come forward as mental holdings
for lifetimes are unleashed and burn in the fires of Kali --
these impressions or vasanas rise forward and are in the face constantly ....
when kundalini is active, there is an opportunity to clear away all of the mental dross very quickly,
if this pure flow of energy is grounded in Gurus grace and transmission and the seekers heart is sincere...
Kali is shakti -- she lives in the manifest and unmanifest as the cosmic divine force of creativity --
eternally present within each soul .. when dormant, the vision is externalized ...
when active, consciousness is opened and many experiences come forward to show that one is
not the body or the mind, and ego is not the true commander in no way shape or form...
Kali can, as Guru says…."be your worst enemy or your best friend"..  depending on where the focal point rests...
within a heart and mind that is surrendered, there can be progression towards liberation and a clearing away of the mental dross...
if the mind is attached to obtaining powers and harbors misguided motives or consumed by fear, then indeed there can be
a very different outcome as more dark energy will be born...
this is how it works .. where the focal point is, the mind will create more of the same and
shakti is very creative indeed and worlds within worlds can be born with no end ...
this is why it is so important to have the right foundation in place...
if the heart is indeed sincere then the anchor is to be within the heart and the practices as this
keeps kundalini in balance...
one is not to feed the rising phenomena or give it life in any way...
but to stay grounded in the practices, balanced breath and pure experience of what is taking place
in this moment...
the goal of kundalini is liberation -- like the snake eating its tail...
mind consumes itself this way until no energy is left there
and only  everpresent stillness of no-mind remains
with no more thoughts or phenomena to rise and overshadow pure reality...
this is why Kali is the destroyer as she will keep going at it until the head of ego is fully
severed and mind is no longer its playground..
indeed a true awake kundalini runs 24/7 ... there are no breaks.....
some of the spontaneous phenomena that can rise up
** kriyas, mudras, asanas (involuntary movements )
**spontaneous verbalizations and mantras
**speaking in foreign tongues
**visions
**seeing flashing lights and colors
**seeing auras
**perceptual shifts (feeling taller or smaller)
**shifts in consciousness
**emotional shifts
**the nad (hearing bells, ringing, birds, clapping, popping sounds)
**heightened hearing and vision
to name just a few....

it is important to eat meat when kundalini opens as it gives this potent energy something to chew on
and helps tremendously to keep one grounded...
otherwise the mind can get airy fairy and way off on tangents...

kundalini can be a great boon if the right direction is in place and one is willing to follow thru
with what is given and be open up to letting go...

maha shanti om

Light...

i came to shake down the shadows

and spare not one single drop of darkness

from the wrath of truth

i came in the way of action 

not prayer, hope or fantasy

i came to break through the walls
that have
shielded the eyes from seeing rightly

i came as a keeper of God

and not one that is to be made into an image
to be glorified

i came as a great light that rests
in the hearts of all

and does not sing pretty songs or shy back
from words that are needed

to set things right

i have no home but this moment

i have no belongings to guard

or any false imaginings to protect

i have not claimed this world as my own

or drawn a line between this and that

for i am only here as this o ne

i am here as a father, sister, son

mother 

and no one at all....  

i am here as air, water, fire, cold stone

and as the ocean, the breeze...

the seeker and the one that haunts

i have no walls to hide behind

or anything to wait for ...

i am all and nothing 

real and naked  

living always without covers

as the o ne
that is here
now...

glorious like the sun

my friend

you are what the stars and 

heavens are made of

can you not live like this 

as a being that is real

that does not cast a net to bring anything

in to claim it as your own

see in the world there are false ways

and unseeing eyes

that sit away from the SELF

unbelievable that a one that is to be 

made well enough to travel the path

seeks out something other 

but indeed this is the way of most

this cannot make you turn away though 

if you are true

and though many may slander your journey

or call it a false road

do not heed this for a minute

because no thought or word can touch this 

heart inside

that is made of pure waters and this is to be 

where you keep the focus

not on the external actions of humanity...

to live the highest truth is the only way to go

if you are to be in the nature of reality

to move into the lost ways of others has no

beauty that shines glorious like the sun

and the sun is what you are to be

friend

never to be lost again

if you keep treading this path of o ne

this is the way of a sincere soul

that is to come to live

here 

and be a lord of yourself

where the ways of the mind

rule you no more

what a stunning difference.. this light...

in the heart there is a fullness
that is not of minds creation
and an emptiness
in which no separate self resides
just the ocean of pure life
still and beautifully silent *is*
if you are to be in it
even for a brief second
you will taste of the stunning difference
between the world of thoughts
and daydreams
and this perfect, still light
what a stunning difference...

life can be a joy

what then is holding you back from the light?
is it that you are in need of what cannot be found right here?
or is it that you desire to be in another way
than what grace has now given?
because really dear one
it is only your perception of the situation that is binding
as you have heard so many times about those ones that have lost so much
and those ones in which the body is twisted and misshapen or ridden
with disease and uncomely to look upon...
yet have you not heard that even in this state, there are some in which
grace shines so very bright thru the external appearance
and have you not heard of the ones that appear to have everything
that money can buy including health and handsomeness...
yet are so very unpleasant to be around and so full of mischief
in heart and mind...
not in any way peaceful at all within themselves...

it is really when there is a loss or crises that will show up what is true within...
is there a true faith and a true peaceful detachment?
or is there a bemoaning of circumstances and a clinging to what has been perceived
as loss?
really it is so very much in mind and nowhere else ...
challenge and a shock can indeed push one to the edge of awakening
as it jars loose the complacent reality if one is open...
or it can calcify unrest and suffering if one sits there and wallows...
but why to wait for a big jarring up of your world?
start now to look deeply ....
because complacency is the worst bed partner...
it keeps one lukewarm and within a sluggish way in which there is no change...
come be alert to your life *as it is* with all its seeming imperfections and
crookedness...
forget about them all and *just be*...
life will become a joy this way....

maha shanti om

beauty of the heart

beauty of the heart
you are the one that is to be set free
like a bird that is to fly when the moon is full
you are like the sparrow that lights on the branch
in the evening
and sings a heart melting song
you are the gift that is true
and the heart that is sure and steady
you are the mystery of the deepest ocean
and the glory of rich lands that go on forever
with lush green hills and pastures
and sweet smelling scents that bring
a great happiness to well within
you are the most wanted of all
and you are to be what is revealed in the
one that is steadfast in seeking
oh my how your light shines so very bright
and within perfection
so as to rinse what has been unreal away
like a bath of grace
you are within perfection
yet carry nothing that is of the nature
of other
so bounteous and within all of life
is your glory
it cannot be denied when you come forward
and find your rightful center

the choice is yours...

i came to you as myself
this evening
in the still of your heart
that is the undying perfection

i came to call you to this
depth that is of such grace
to be by your side for awhile
as you ponder what to do
in this land of *other*
the choice my dear
is to go forward
or stay where you are accustomed
within the shadow land
so i will stand beside you
awhile as you peer into
this night of the unknown
but cannot bring you there
no
because one must venture
into this beauty alone

it is an adventure to come
to yourself and very magical
too --
but not like a magicians trick
or something that speaks of
smoke and mirrors --
it is like a dark knight of the soul
who haunts and taunts
but is truly a friend in nature
that has called you to yourself
but you have been too busy
with your world
and too afraid to look
but now you are at
a crossroads or maybe even a
precipice in which
there is a choice
to stay with what you know
or to come deeper inside
and see
what is in there that is true
and what is of another nature
and is to be cast aside

oh my
what a dream you will find
there when you look deeply
and oh how it has covered
the gem of truth that shines
so great and sturdy
so now i will stand here
awhile with you
my heart friend and be
with you as you gaze
in for a bit
do you want to go further?
the choice is yours --

In the heart

Staying in the heart
the bread of truth is found
it's sustenance will make the soul
sturdy and strong