Kiss of Awareness

in winter the earth is dry and all is starkly bare 

as that which lays dormant

awaits the first kiss of the sun

when it comes, this kiss

it awakens the life that has fallen to sleep

for awhile in the depths of the earth

and life is moved to begin to grow

little bits of green poke it's way out of the soil

and miracles occur within and without 

and all around 

for the soul too, this is the way

it sits in slumber

and awaits the first kiss

which is awareness

untouched by any forces

that are of the personal

and with this kiss of awareness

life begins to stir in the soul and something

else begins to move the being 

which is grace

then, the holdings in consciousness
come to the surface to be seen

like bits of flotsam and jetsam on the waters 

of pure life 

and the soul is then made aware of all that has 

been occluding pure vision

this is a good thing to see what is there  

that has been driving one to be in circles 

of worry or defensiveness or comfort 

or what have you

because without first seeing what is there,

there can be no cleansing

and how mother cleanses, does she not?

for she is like a goddess of the heart

in her way, she is like 

the most chaste presence

that comes in and through

and gives one a chance to see
what is true and what is false 

she comes this way to all in every moment 

with a kiss of wake up and see dear one 

for you are my love 

you are my child of the spirit and i know you

as the sun only

i do not know you as a shadow not now, not ever 

you are my child that i have given life to

and  i will take your soul to the place of rest 

when you open your heart to me 

and then i will make you be still

i will not ever leave your heart dear one 

i will not ever be away and forget you

but my child 

you forget me, by going out into the world 

of the false 

and when you are there, you do not know who 

you truly are 

you forget that you are One only

and that God is your very Self

there (in the world), souls speak of this and that 

and me and you 

and you are lost in that 

but know that every breath that comes in your form

is my heart only

and every tear too

and every word that you speak is my creation

but words are not this at all

they are only bits of shakti that rise and fall on this 

heart so pure and so real

so, my child, when you go in the world, can you know 

the one?

if you love me like your very own soul

you can know always this one that is here 

for i love the one that is not afraid of me (Kali)

i love that one with heart and soul and a force of fire 

that can never die 

and i love those that are away in the world too the same,

but they are not really in the way of seeing the real

they are playing in the world as if it is a playground 

for fulfilling their desires 

this is fine and well -- for it will bring life lessons to them

but for those in the way of wanting to be free

these ones i call to me 

come home and love me true

for i know the way and the path is in you to be walked 

stay sturdy and upright in your character 

and do not let worry and fear rule your reality 

then you can settle into this moment 

and feel the wind purely and feel the sun purely

and feel the sweet smile of a friend purely

and feel the heart as the shining one 

come dear child 

and be as you are 

i am your mother always 

and nothing can compare to this type of love 

but do not love me as an object 

for i will melt like wax and die there 

love me as your own soul

and i will burn bright as the brightest star

for you to be guided to the heart 

and i will burn bright as the brightest moon

that cannot be denied in the dark sky

and i will burn like a lantern and a torch and 

fire so strong and so filled with life

that you will not be able to return to the shadowland 

you will be moved to be true and well like you are 

so well and so filled with life and love and compassion

that will tear the walls of ignorance down 

so come now 

be free and do not roam in the land of the lost 

come and be the life that you are 

the life that can never die 

living waters

the sadhu in the morning light
goes to bathe in the ganges
where he sets his coverings on the bank
he goes in naked and
does not look back at the steps
that lead into the world
he takes his form into the rushing waters
and sinks down deep where there is
simply the beauty of the absolute
he then
puts his head in the water
like a baptism
that sheds the impurities of
worldly attachments that
he has come to know
and he allows the waters to
take away from him his burden
that has been heavy to his soul
he does not resist the waters
for this is what his soul is made
of in truth
purity
and he is to be made unto this light
the sadhu has put to rest his
personal world
this is not his anymore
nor was it ever
he puts it down into the earth
at the bottom of the water
to be carried away with the current
for his personal life is not at all real truly
it is what has taken him somewhere else
out to the land of shadows
what then is he to do now
that his mind is purified in grace?
he does nothing at all
simply lives free without the false ways
he lives as a man that is pure
in mind and heart
he lives like a sage of beauty
he is light
and joy and truth
what else can he be?
when the ground is entered
for there is nowhere else to go

the sadhu that enters the waters of ganga
has within a burning desire for freedom
he is a man of desire
that is of only *one* desire
not many that are pulling him in opposite directions
he burns to know the truth
as a one that is thirsty and hungry
and trembling inside with the desire to know
and to be free of what it is that is unwell in heart and mind
he is a seeker of heart
not a seeker of the world and heart
this cannot be steady
it is to make a man wobbly on his feet and in his
mind because one cannot walk in two directions at once
he is a man that is on ONE road only
to the truth
he comes into the waters and dies there to the light
this is why his initiation is like his funeral truly
because he is not to return to his old life of mundane
experience in which he was a such and such
with a name and role and all of that
he is now a sadhu which is nameless and not
of an identity that can be put in a box anymore
so he merges with the waters of the divine
as if he was the *offering*
he *is* the offering
his attachment to body and mind are what are to go to the waters
and be dissolved there (within the light)
the sadhu then walks away into the world
but is not of it
he places his feet on the earth
and walks into the lands of the transient way
but he is not any more within the changing tides
his being is still and absorbed always in quietude

so this my friends is the way of the sadhu
that is sincere
it is not different than one the comes into the light
within and is surrendered in heart and mind
it is the living waters within
that will clean the mind of dross
and purify the soul
it is the living waters within that will drown
the separation
and so onward now
without the baggage and the thoughts that say
i am not good enough or right enough to go into
the waters
it is these thoughts that will block you from your
pure self
for there are none that cannot enter
only the heart and mind are to be purified
with honesty and good character
and steady ways --
this will bear fruit in time
for sure
but for now go on and love what is here
be in love with the pure soul
that is so fresh
be in love with this moment
and go on

flowering life...

serpent kundalini

mother 

thou has opened the river that cleans

the dust 

from the heart and head

thou has brought fresh flowering of life 

to the dry earth bed 

and sown joy 

from tears 

thou has made of the dark

a light so real

and broad 

as to swallow the unrest that rose

of its own

thou has breathed fire of burning heat

into the consciousness where me and mine sat

like a haunting energy
so as to destroy this rising

and blew shimmering vibration 

of om and deep mercy
into the heart

so strong 

mother of truth

thy will is what remains 

for this power will rise victorious always

it lives in all

and does not settle for the small ray ego

to be at the center

thou lives as the sea

and open meadows of pure glory

so free in itself 

so free...

Kali/Shiva symbology

Shiva and Kali (shakti) are distinct and separate

in some ways --

but are truly not two, not two

Kali stands on Shiva
her energy is grounded in him
he is the steady, pure unchanging presence
she is rooted to
her foot is placed *lightly*

on his chest
as a symbol that his essence cannot be harmed or touched
even amongst the most stormy phenomena

Kali is the beauty of mother, the seen and unseen

Shiva the pure core and ground of being

this is why he rests like the earth 

his face and form are beautiful representing

the beauty of pure consciousness 

there is no movement within his essence

He is at rest and perfect peace

Kali is the life force

the manifest as well
as unmanifest kundalini energy
She is the one that does the work of clearing
debris in consciousness when kundalini has awakened
this is the meaning of the many hands
which symbolizes her power and universal presence
within all beings and the ultimate force
that moves all things
Shiva is what remains when her work is done
he is pure consciousness, stillness, boundless peace
sat-chit-ananda