Thursday, January 31, 2013

the town called *is* (comment attached)

in a town called *is*
there lived a man who sought to know of something beyond
birth and death
this man regarded himself to be of great prowess
he had a strong physique and felt himself healthy
and of good intellect...
he sold all of his belongings and set out to find the truth
he left behind family, friends, job and all relations 
he resolved to not look back or to come home without 
any knowledge that rang of real
he walked on a path that started right outside his door...
onward he went for awhile on this path
until he encountered a great forest called doubt --
in this forest he was pestered by all kinds of unrest that spoke 
incessantly about what a bad person he was and that maybe he was not
capable of such and awesome undertaking as this...
then immediately this  
was followed by what a good person he had been due to particular good deed 
he had done.. but then no, he was not so good and so on...
and the other familiar rant yammering on about possibly he shouldn't have started out at all--
maybe his family was right that he knew not what he was doing ..
will they accept him when he got back he wondered ..  possibly not 
maybe now he was cast off like an orphan to roam about without a single mooring 
anywhere ..
oh this is not good cried his persona... we have been left alone ..
he walked on heavy with such a great deluge of worry and unrest through this 
forest of doubt...
he slept under a tree that night and felt the shadows fall with the black enveloping his soul
and his sight felt blinded 
his heart was not there in this enshrouded place ...
he twisted and turned about on the hard earth and rose in the morning not refreshed in the least..
he picked up and continued ...
eventually he came across a man wandering in the forest looking very ordinary in his way..
he cast a quick look at him and he felt a bit free with his glance ...
the man smiled an easy smile 
and the seeker very weary said, friend i am in search of that which lies beyond birth and death..
do you know of this place?
the other journeyer said indeed i do for i live within it always...
and this shook this man of great prowess to the core...
well how so do you live in it? for i am right here where you are 
but do not see it ...
the ordinary journeyer laughed and said oh -- you have only just begun my friend ...
once you are free within it matters not where you live or what you are doing ...
the mind is eternally at peace ...
well this was quite a thing to be heard ...
why then sir, is it so very, very hard for me to be at peace when this freedom is right here and now?
for i do not feel free at all.. my mind is in such weariness, heartache and unrest...
tell me dear sir, why is this and how can i be set away from this hell that i am living?
so very strange that we both stand here looking like men and in the same setting 
yet you are at ease and speaking of peace and that is felt well as when i glanced at you
my heart sang and my soul took to a bit of rest ... i felt as if there was a light 
in this great darkness in which i am so accustom...  
how can i be freed and speak as you do sir please say?
stillness pervaded that gentle being as he spoke in his clear voice to say ...
all beings are eternally free in the heart my dear seeker ..
now it is not seen due to your false identification with the body and mental waves that rise and fall
within these waves there is no constancy or anything that can be found that is lasting ..
to attach to these waves is death really (as eternal light is covered over) and so much suffering comes from it that is to have no end...
how then said the seeker shall i get away from this misery that has clung to my heart so strong
and so very all consuming in its way? i follow it like a lost lamb in the dark calling away for 
my mother ... oh pray tell dear wise soul of the heart .. 
your words are like soft rain to a man that has been in a desert for many an era...
i am so drowned in the mess that i have made apparently ....
as you say it is i that has misidentified 
myself with this body and passing phases of mind and by doing so created a world of overpowering shadow... 
how then to disentangle please say now and i will go there ...
the first thing is to not pay attention to the thoughts and body as they are mere shadows that follow
the course of nature ..
changing, coming and going, rising and sinking ...  
be quiet and watch them as if set apart like a light that shines them up only...
my master told me to stay well away from the body and mind as if like an outcast that is to not be touched .. this was very hard at first for the being had been so soaked into this field of 
thinking i am the body and mind and it takes on a life of its own.....
so very hard to move away from, yet it must be done sincere seeker for otherwise you are drowned in 
its false spell that may seem innocent at times..
but this is indeed where it pulls you in like wolf in sheeps clothing ...
be aware of this attachment dear seeker of o ne ... 
next be honest always and forthright in character ..
true in all your dealings and ways in the world...
stay detached in all things, yet keep the heart open ...  
also, here is a mantra to say that points to the o ne reality**brahman**say it with devotion and great care
this will aide to dissolve the mind into the o ne reality that is eternal..
though you do not know of this o ne heart yet friend say the mantra like you believe in it
and feel it in you and all about, do not say it as mere rote ...
or this energy will waste away and only lead to empty repetition...
rest in the heart and have faith in the o ne ...
for it lies within yourself and nowhere else.... 
do not be afraid to be alone for this is the best way ...
dear one seek good company and if that is not there, nature is your companion and it will never, ever put you out ....  
dear wise soul, you have made it sound so simple,
but now it feels so very, very arduous and mixed with so many emotions .....
i am a bit lost right now ... yet underneath it all, your words are felt and penetrating 
in a way that is not understood by me...
wise soul, this strong urge to be out of suffering is simmering under the waves of the world i thought i knew ..
i feel unable to not pay attention there as it haunts my very being so..
dear seeker, this is because you are made as whole and eternal...
the disharmony within is telling that you are not right in identifying yourself with the false ..
the pull you feel is there because the light is in you and inherently draws one in ...
if it is disregarded then one suffers...
if it is heeded (it is still very hard) 
but in the end freeing if followed to its full completion...
then no suffering and all is set right...
hearty journeyer you must have great strength and courage now...
not strength of body, but of soul and heart...
this is not something that can be built like muscles...
it is more a breaking down of the barriers that have been held up to hide from pure life ... 
this is what true courage is friend .. 
yes wise guide .. how opposite this is than what i thought before...
for i felt i must struggle with these waves and push them aside or down to win over ..
now what you say in a way i have no power at all and what is asked now is to give over what was known as *my* power to a the greater intelligence that is not of my personal world ...
oh i am really nothing it feels ..
how very deflating to a man that is built on body and mental intellect ...
what a hard blow to this me...
yet i see you here wise light looking so much of a whole being and in fine form and frame ...
free as you say and i do feel you are true in my being...
oh my this is not easy precious guide...
no it is not, said the guide...
but this attachment and hearty ego you speak of is not your friend .. it is false and unreal
so as to keep you captive in a haunting world of separation...
well dear seeker you can always stay there where you are at...  
oh no quickly interrupted the seeker.. my soul is in great unrest now and i do not want any more of it...
what about my family and friends?...are they now not a part of my world?
am i to cast them out of my heart like they never were?
spoke the guide --the bible says one must turn away from the world which includes family and friends....  one must detach from that life (within themselves) for it keeps the soul bound to body and mind...
though this has been the way of all those within monastic life, it does not mean one needs to hide away from the world, but to let go of all inner attachments...  
the bible says follow me ...  follow the truth no matter what it calls for ...
one is not saying that responsibilities are to be cast aside when in the thick of it --
if you have put into motion a family with young children still needing to be reared then one finishes this job and then it is up to the soul where to take the journey from there ...
but know that without full detachment there will never be full realization .. not ever...
all that have come to be in truth and light have renounced the world and never returned there
the freed soul then lives in the world but not of it...
a radically different consciousness than those caught within mundane mind...
okay, said the seeker
this is what is needed and i am now in a position to leave it all..
where are you going now master? how can i find you?
i cannot say where i will land dear wanderer of the way..
but you have what is needed to complete, and now my heart is bound to yours in sincerity, light and love as we are the same truth within...
you will travel thru many different countries ..
some will ring of great unrest and some of divine light ..
keep going precious seeker until all thoughts are cleared and only the non-dual o ne remains ..
you will know it undoubtedly when it is uncovered ...
the last stop however is the town of death...
oh my shuddered the seeker ... how horrid that sounds
the wise soul laughed greatly and said do not be afraid...
and then he took to his feet and left....
the man in search of light looked about and took a deep breath of release...
he felt quite a bit sturdier within as he knew that his call to freedom was true and held great value ...
his reminiscing for the life he left behind continued to rise and fall like waves
sometimes it was all consuming ...
sometimes like a soft glow in the background...
doubts still haunted and pestered.. angel and devil voices chimed in ... random, senseless thoughts continued to rise and fall ..
but he continued to ponder this surrender thing and detached from the body and used the mantra in devotion and love...
he journeyed on for so many, many days it seemed like
as a one shorn of his homeland and like a one that knew not where he belonged
as his life of before seemed so very distant like a dream in the mist ...
he set it aside like he was told and slept in the open air...
breathing the smell of the earth, listening to the rustling of creatures and watching the shadows fall..
onward he went ..
his heart was light somedays and ridden with haunting shadows and doubts other days...
 he returned always to the mantra...  drinking in its vibration and watching the glory of natures wonders ... so very welcoming and open like a sweet fragrance of Gods creation
it felt unreal to him at times, this beautiful gift of nature
the blossoming wonders, rich greens and sweet earthy smells fresh from rain or warm with sunlight ..
he was lost there sometimes and then back came mind again...
then he came to a valley called expanse...this looks nice he thought...
things felt a bit easier and restful... thoughts were there, but did not feel so pressing down and haunting
kind of like riding a wave easily,
rather than the heavy current of mind constantly pushing against the being so as to say -- look at me! listen to me!
he breathed a bit easier and sat awhile in happiness that was very refreshing ...
so simple he thought this beautiful moment...
still there was unrest looming underneath like a bobbing thing that went under and rose up again when the conditions were ripe --
on and on like this he went...
then he came to a place that felt different also,
his mind seemed calmer and lit up with insight ...
he felt like a being at the center  of a web with strands reaching outward where all was connected and appeared harmonious and filled with love
okay, now i have finally arrived he thought ... i am very holy and special indeed...
i am one with all things and have never not been...
i am quite a light .. i am a teacher,
i am  a one filled with wonder as the earth and stars and heavens and all things glorious...
i have drunk deeply of the clear waters and sunny pastures of the universe ..
what a free soul i am and how much i have to say now about it ....
i am to be known for my way of speaking clear and deeply insightful vision that is so very high up...
look at me now, such a treasure trove of wisdom...
he felt he had arrived and continued to reflect on all that he had gained and suffered and just how
amazing of a soul and seeker he was ...
and just how much others would see this too...
he sat in this way for oh so long friends, very reluctant to leave this land of ego pleasure..
eventually however the clouds came back and the sea began to rock within
and his heart did not seem so rested in his own method of feeling things to be within harmony and light
fortunately in the depths of this view he was swept up by ...
a kernel of sense remained to see that he had not paid attention at all  to his guides wise words
that said one is not done until *all* thoughts are gone and the last town is the town of *DEATH*..
death came up to him this way in his mind *BIG* and looming above so as to say .. yes, you cannot bypass me .. though you gave it a good shot indeed
still there is no completion without passing thru me (the town of *DEATH*)....
well he wondered if he had sat here so long so as to avoid this part...
oh my how deluded mind can be and got up and shook his head about and sighed a deep sigh as he knew he was not done and needed to continue into the land of death ---
onward he went and now he knew enough to not be taken in by *any story* no matter how good it sounded...
he had learned this lesson in a very hard way...
as he had lost so much time swept up in this world of fantasy...
soon enough this place called death shown up in the distance ...
oh, there it is said his persona... what to do .. go forward, go back...
he did not know really for it felt so very real not as a dream or a projection anymore ...
and he breathed and said let the worst come and be over with...
for i feel so very weary
like a soul caught as a deer in a trap with barely a breath of life left, not fully dying
and not full living ..
Lord of my soul this is not where i want to stay
may you do what you must
and he kept going
and he sank into this haunting shadow that was the most frightening of all fears and the most horrifying
shadow that looms in all mental waters ...
and he shook to the bone at the barren feel of it
like all that was known to him was to be lost forever..
his body, mind -- the whole thing ..
so real and palpable was this feeling and there was nothing he could do as he was helpless to its strength and power and then out he went...
gone to himself...
when his consciousness awakened to the appearance of the world
all was radically changed
the dual world he knew before was rinsed clean and what was revealed was the o ne SELF of all...
so completely peaceful and at rest
so very gentle like calm waters ...
the past never happened, the future had no reality ...
beyond birth and beyond death was this pure consciousness
there were no thoughts about it
only peace, beauty and all consuming non-dual pristine awareness remained
he wasn't sure where he was at first, but then within his awareness he recognized his surroundings and knew that he was in the town called *is* ... as if he never left...
was there ever a journey?  did he ever leave this place?
my what a dream he had been lost in...
well friends his family was rather indifferent about the whole thing and barely noticed anything had changed ...
what happened next ...
this beautiful light took to his feet and walked on into the open lands
singing of pure presence and light wherever he was ..
not two,  not two...

om shanti

like a dream this world...

what the scriptures say about the world is that it is like a dream
and not to be regarded as a trusted experience that has any foundation
that is sturdy 
it will bring nothing but sorrow in the end when held to as a person 
holds a comforter...  
though it may seem warm at times .. it is to get pulled away like all things
of the earth 
godly beings do not hold to anything that is seen by the eyes or heard by the ears...
all that comes as a matter of course is empty as the open air...
which does not mean that beauty and sadness are not felt deeply ..
it is more like a calm expanse of water with ripples that come and dissolve 
very quickly...  
no residual remains that continues to churn away and eat at the soul

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

no-one at all..

present moment 
the undivided love of all
are you a saint, a sage or a buddha
are you a beggar, a wanderer or a mystic
can you tell me what you are ..
not this or that 
not any
no-one at all...

a fine presence..

might i say that you are a fine presence
with the soul unmasked 
and without brooding ways or shifting sands 
held in your being 
you are a bright glow 
there friend 
when you are free...

bird of paradise...

the peacock struts his bright plumage 
like a one that is set apart from other creatures
of God's creation
he does not want to see the perishing ways of the world
and the suffering it brings..
he cares not about this for he is so fine now 
and nothing can touch that 
he is the center of all 
riding high on the waves 
the parrot laughs at this 
what a silly joke on him
he knows not that his bright feathers are to blow 
with the wind 
and be nothing but earth and soot on the boot of 
some passerby one day...
but the parrot sighed as this was said
as he was not certain
he liked this idea of perishing
for what will remain when this way i know so well
is to go? 
the trees i rest on are my home 
and are very dear to me and my chattering flock
how can i let go of that? 
i cannot approach such a possibility at all
i will fix my sight on this home of mine only 
and tend to it well 
as this is what is real 
but his heart was still quite a bit in doubt 
as he watched the birds fly back and forth
for food and search for rest
he slept uneasily 
his soul felt like a ship lost to sea
alone and forsaken 
set apart from what he knew most
and a welling within him came to know
of something beyond this world
that wastes away....
what to do?, he said within
i shall ask the 
he is the wisest
and he flew there with his bright feathers
shining in the heat of the day
to the falcons home 
on the high branches of the 
hearty tree 
and asked 
dear falcon i am in great distress
for i know not what is happening 
the soul is stirring to find the way 
that speaks of other lands in which there 
are no tears or unrest
and one can be made into a being that 
is real
but dear falcon does this mean i need to
leave my home in search of such a place 
of splendor?
the falcon sat awhile in silence 
and then said  -
your heart speaks rightly to you that there 
is another land that is lacking in shadow
and haunting ways 
and will uncover a rich peace that 
is not of your world that you know
oh my said the parrot
now this is good and bad to hear of at the same time
as now that i know of it 
how can i ever put it out of my heart
i cannot be easy in my world as a parrot
for to feel that i am just this little creature that
flits around seeking companions and food,
set to sleep and rise with the dawn only to  be
on the search out of hunger again
and not only that, i cannot deny now that this is all
to go some day...
and to hear of something much greater beyond..
oh how hard and how joyous at the same time
are your words dear falcon
could i find this beauty and still keep my tree and 
clan so familiar?
or must i really give up and take the journey over moors
mountains, valleys, seas 
pushing thru all climes and weather of great turbulence?
look at me 
i am only a parrot --
what say of you falcon?
well friend, said the falcon
if you are a wanderer and have faith in the search
then you do not worry of how --
you just begin..
here is the road out there 
and here is a little bit of bread and a 
song to sing when you become entranced again
with the world you left
hold tight to all of it as it will aide you in your search
the parrot took what was given
and said thank you falcon for your time and flew back to his
home where he pondered deeply what to do...
when he fell asleep he dreamed that there was a water
well in which he perched on the edge 
and looked down
it seemed so very deep and dark in there
as to swallow him up
and he screeched oh no this is so very big to me 
and i am not sure 
but as he screeched his reflection screeched too at the same  time
and it made him laugh a bit 
and feel that there was a joke somewhere that maybe he was missing
in the morning he flitted about a bit anxious 
he found his flock and said 
i am journeying away friends in search of beautiful clear waters
and light 
his friends snickered 
you are what?
how very disoyal of you 
are you not our kind?
you must think you are greater than the rest 
and what about your mother?
she will not be happy
no she will not, the parrot knew that but that was not to dissuade him
he was going 
even though he ached inside and was not sure where it would all lead
so he went back and set out to begin
off he went thru the clouds
over hills, valleys, seas and mountains
and as he flew all kinds of emotions and shades of thinking 
came up to haunt and taunt him...
what ifs and all sorts of heaven and hell gates opened
as they came up he remembered the song 
and he sang it with great devotion of mind and soul
he sang it as he passed over the great ocean 
with rising swells ...
and the mighty mountains  
and storms of thunder
he ate the bread with gratitude that he was alive and 
able to go on towards the pure lands that he sought
so earnestly
finally after such a long spread of time 
he came to a different land
a country that appeared as a distinctly different presence 
oh joy he said 
maybe this is it 
and as he said that this light eluded him like a dream
that was cast over in shadow and mist
but he continued forward until again the clouds dissapeared
and this presence arose within his gaze as a distinctly different
this time he did not move within and set himself down
like a drop of rain in a great body of water
downward without looking forward or back
as if he had no choice what an odd thing indeed 
he was slipping away this little thing he thought he was 
and his entire life too
oh no, he said
oh yes, said the ocean of the real ...
(the land of pure waters that is)
and his bit of clinging was swept away as if it 
never was...
he felt as if he had been held in a long stagnant dream
that he finally awoke from..
a stilled beauty penetrated within 
and he screeched in laughter at what was such a silly joke
played on him..
it was right here all the time ...
he is now a sage somewhere and lives in the forests free 
a light to those hearts that are willing to listen
and are ready to take the great walk
to the heartland of *IS*...

dear wanderers continue forward on your journeys..
there will be a day
when you too will laugh

maha shanti om

Monday, January 28, 2013

nightingales song

your melodious song of love
flows on the night breeze
so tender and warm in the still evening
as to melt hearts that sit near
is your love undying in its breath
and lost to the beauty of the open moment? 
or has it been caught in desire to hold another
and keep it for yourself? 
so true is the o ne love as to be the all
never to put an ache in your breast again
or to set you out to call
the name of your beloved 
as you sit on the branches
looking out into the depths of the night..
awaiting and anxiously watching..
your brown plumage like the earth so bare..
if you are to fly free 
away from this tree of sorrow 
homeward to melt in the dawn
of an awakened mind ..
then leave out this call
for another to come and make your soul complete
oh rich notes that rise in glory from your throat
do not put to shame the absolute
or waste your energies in a divided way
to sew seeds of unrest
here amongst nature so very free at heart
come fix your sight on transcending
your want of something other 
be complete as you are now
as your call then is within the light
that stretches far beyond
your small form and finery of your colors
and sweet appearance
nightingale fly tonight away 
and set yourself against the full moon 
to be swallowed there 
never to come again as shadow
but only to rise brilliant
as the dawn of true knowledge...

Saturday, January 26, 2013

flow of truth...

my love
have you heard the flow of truth easily
with a heart of surrender
or caught it in your net and put it to your logic
in there ..
oh no this would make of it something else entirely
would it not?
clearly your heart is sweet precious seeker or thou
would not be within desire of light
so what is it that brings you here now
i have no sharing that is new
only to say that you are the light within
and have only let yourself latch onto the false and ride
those waves into another place that is not clear..
this is all
and to be present is not a thing to be desired ..
it comes when attachments are let go of ..
and what you *are not* dies..
then dear soul
what has always been
is revealed
sweet life
and it flows
pure always...

no separation...

precious seeker
are you to come fully on the path or are you
unsure of your footing
because this is something to know
as it weakens the soul to be in doubt about
your true quest
if you are unwavering in seeking a release
then yeah friend
may one continue on like this..
steady in your steps to freedom
as once this non-dual being is known
thou can then sing of glory and wonders
and heart giving waters
rich with gem filled life that has no name or face
but only points to that which is right with life as it is
without the sting of separation..

sweet fruit blooms...

what is this world
but a bundle of thoughts 
that come and go on a bed of clinging?
has thou not seen this yet? 
if you have, then your eye is indeed being cleared
and your soul is beginning to take rest
if you have not seen this, then keep on as 
a hearty seeker that will contend with the rough waters
never being satisfied with the passing shades mind.. 
be enough now and do not let the heaven and hell gates 
of mind open so as to kick up hope and fear.. 
set your mind deep in this reality as it is
without your colored glasses of the past and future
for this is not a healthy vision at all
would you not say
sincere one? 
keep after yourself with inquiry and doubting the minds 
false covers that it throws over 
continue to be within the practice of Guru's light and well
of wisdom that is offered so generous
indeed the one that continues will see clear as this is the 
sweet fruit that blooms 
and the  knowledge that remains when all that is false
has fallen away...

joy undivided...

*i have been*, *i am this now*, *i will be*...
what a false barren stream this is...
lay it down to rest on the fields of dreams that are like
empty shells to blow with the winds ...
for no sweet fruit will blossom from these desires
to be more of this or less of that ...
this only fuels the fires of ego and its haunting ways
there is nothing that ego can give that is real
as its passions need to be  tamed
reigned in like an unruly creature
and put back away from the flow of pure grace...
then clarity and discrimination can begin to dawn...
with this said
surrender is the only way...
there is nothing that you have done right or wrong
that is related in the least to the pure core that lies
within the heart...
and even the most *holy* being will not awaken to
the truth if the persona is still at the center. ...
what is needed is a cutting thru of the polarities of mental waves
this is what will open to the light
and the knowing that there is no
validity to any mental story (no matter how holy or unholy it may appear)
not one drop of it rings as real...
so beloved sons and daughters of the way...
be still and rest easily as an open minded one that
is not content with feeling the world is a certain way
or that the being is locked into a certain cage of identity...
this is so false
be a dove on the branches of shadow
that purity that rests ever still and within all ..
not externalized to be made into some-thing...
this is not what God intended you to be
as God is true complete happiness and joy undivided
freely flowing..
and your being has been made the same...
love be still now
and live this moment
sat chit ananda...

Friday, January 25, 2013

renunciate vows...

poverty, chastity and obedience
these are the basic vows observed within monastic life
that are to be fully honored if one is a renunciate
poverty truly points to emptiness of attachment to the world
which means to lay down the feeling of ownership within 
as well as the feeling of pride and vanity...
it does not necessarily mean having no physical possessions
although this is an outward flow at times of this vow
as within the traditional sadhu life 
this one owned not a thing and roamed the earth
bare, naked, completely free of possessions...
what is being spoken of here however is an inward letting go...
chastity, symbolic of purity (which includes celibacy)...   
is maintaining a clean inner reality and outward action that is in alignment
with the vows...   
as well as honoring the basic precepts of honesty, transparency and integrity..
celibacy is an essential of monastic living as to be without it 
solidifies bodily attachment and desire 
which is directly opposed to the purpose of renunciation 
as this signifies going beyond body and the worldly ways..
obedience indicates surrender or giving over to truth..
it does not mean to follow along blindly ..
but to yield to the light (of Gurus wisdom) without resistance and 
arguments (nothing more, nothing less)
these fundamental vows it seems have been very misinterpreted
and under appreciated for what they are...
though they may seem stringent to some...
they are truly the foundation to moving forward free of the body/mind complex
and an absolute essential of the renunciate life...  

om shanti

son of God

son of God 
you are the way, the life, the joy of all
you have made a light of this world that sinks low
in itself and hides away..
you have called yourself to be a wanderer and 
a hearty being of plentiful life 
as you have said that life and light 
cannot be known without surrender
and the little mind that rings of personal
cannot ever be real or living
you have come as a mystic such a fresh
being in your way of 
speaking clear and powerfully the real
to those that open easy and yielding
what have you brought to this world
yourself and this is all
and what have you set free never to manifest again
the mental world with its rising and sinking..
you have not taken that which is of value
only that which has been mistaken for the real and true
you have lived with what is right with nature 
and in this way set others free
you have been taken to be an ordinary soul
within darkness and misguided ways
by those minds that are threatened 
you have suffered here 
but not of spirit 
of body only...,
you have given your life up to set others free 
and by this sacrifice 
brought great peace where there was once suffering...
dear son of God

this is the message precious seekers of light..
this evening
be well...
as the flow goes on....

the seer...

a mind ridden with thought does not know another way 
than itself ...
it cannot know the pure 
or have a home there ever ...
and you cannot understand it as one would something
that feels exterior
because it is yourself and not out there
like a wave that goes on and on...
it is here as the seer
free from thoughts that overshadow
it lives always
as the one SELF
o ne

Thursday, January 24, 2013


simple ways are the best
what is in front of one to do is enough
without adding the thought of 
what is coming next
so simple

heart awakens

dream child are you lost to sea
this evening
or have you found a way back to the heart
where all is rested and well
if you take steps forward into the deeper places 
of your being
you will find an open passage
that calls of your true home 
where the nights are  peaceful and there is no fear
dream child can you find your way back
to this love filled land of yourself
and not wander about again lost 
as this is not what you are made of at all
and as you come near and close 
you will feel yourself slipping away more and more 
as the covers fall 
and the heart awakens
to the truth
then the dream child is no more 

mind so opposite...

tides of mind 
in and out you go always restless
and not anchored in joy, beauty and peace 
as what is forever grounded here is not to go to and fro this way
what is eternal 
is unmoving 
and forever at rest
so opposite of this mind that moves...


freedom friend 
is what you are and not a thing to be desired
because how can you desire what you have never lost?

unchanging o ne

people of all walks of life
seek shelter from the way of suffering
even the creatures are not settled within
when night comes
they stay watchful of prowlers and
ones that are a danger
the sea too is in turbulence
when the wind is strong
and mighty
the grasses blow
and the small things run for cover...
even with this play in the heart of all
there is an undying stillness that lives
beyond form and
the passing phases of the world
that appear this way or that to the eye
the one that lives within this pure light..
*the peace that passes understanding*
does not sit as within the usual earthly
condition of woes...
but lives always as brahman
unchanging and free
within all conditions
there is no other to this o ne
and though the activities of the world go on..
as always ...
and the eyes of the o ne register this reality
there is no attachment to it..
or any movement within
to create a world ...
of birth and death
shadow and light...
all of it goes as a dream
like mist on the water..
what remains is a deep well of compassion
and unobstructive clarity
that is brought to humanity
as an offering of pure love
and light
such a blessing...


entering deep waters...

mental waves
rise and fall
on the surface of this glorious ocean
that sits deeply real..
when the vision is externalized these waves
appear as all that exists
totally consuming the being and the world manifests
like an eclipse over the moon......
this is how it is when mind overshadows the light...
what is it that will make one sink deeper
dear seeker of heart..
not grasping at the empty risings that point
always to your false self
this way is never to be rested and settled
not a drop of the illusion will set the heart free
as even a single drop of poison makes
the clearest waters impure and unhealthy to consume
it is said rightly in the bible
"He that findeth his life shall lose it:
and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it"
so is the one blessed that surrenders
the inner private world...
and allows grace to wash this most
false show
of *me and mine* away ...
the paradox the sages sing of
mind will never grasp
this simultaneous death and bursting of pure life ..
in one moment...
love this is how it is ...
when grace is allowed to enter
let go friend and

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

the peaceful o ne...

i came in this way of beauty and light
as a dove lit on the branches of sorrow
to aide in those ears that are open
to hearing of the way
i came to haunt this darkness with such a
mighty hand and tongue
of light
that sits in the windows of all that lock
themselves away
so as to say come out friend
and do not care of this empty voice that
has no true power
i came to fill the heart with great words of peace
and joy so beautiful
and whole as the seas and winds
never ending in the flow of purity as this
is what is real
i came to prey on the dead energies and
put them to sleep so they
have no more steam to rise again ever
i came as a wanderer of the lands and countries
of God
and will not compromise what is true by any means
i came to hear the call of the souls that sit
somewhere else in a place that does not heal
i am here to heal
as a burn and mighty sword that lashes the dark
and paralyzes the wandering ways of mind
i came on the side of beauty, rest and joy
as a lamb of God
that has given up all and everything to this purpose
of love everlasting
i came as freedom in a form
clear as the waters that run fresh from wild
open valleys
and taste sweet to tongues that are thirsty
i came as peace personified
and joy embodied
as earth fresh and deeply churned so as the
small bits of life can
breathe again in the open air
i came as a friend of peace
i came as a danger to the untrue ways
and as a bright star in the night sky
this substance that is what i am
so very whole and sturdy friends
so very much made of no death
and uninterrupted life and light
in this way i came
as light
pure life
and peace
i came..


when there is no clinging inside
then truly
this world is an open meadow of
bright shining wonder...

Monday, January 21, 2013

rain of grace...

my dear
what then?.....
when the world you have so closely guarded
gets washed away like sand on the seashore
what then will you call yourself by?
man, woman, husband, wife, friend, foe 
bad, good, lesser, greater?
what dear soul
will you call yourself when all the covers that 
you have defined yourself by..
get taken away
so as to leave you bare without name and form
and to leave you without clever ways inside
that justify and thoughts that fight to be heard
oh yes 
this is the way it is  --
the mind loses its power to keep a stronghold on the 
and all that you thought you were is rinsed clean 
and laid open and bare --
to run in streams and gurgle down the drain --  
washed away by the rain of grace...
what then is your name 
when all has dissolved away?... 

may it be so...

the message
child is that you live
as endless illumination
peaceful waters
glorious green pastures and
deep rich soil of hearty great
this is the truth of spirit
in its essence and undying freedom
in this way you have risen
and are forever well
as Christ showed there is nothing
that can touch the souls purity at its core
no hand, sword, act or tongue...
yes you live this way in truth
my sweet seeker
as a mighty flock of innocent flowing life
and a shepard of the way....
the two in o ne...
have you heard this heralded in the wind
and brought to your face and form in the
warmth of the suns rays melting
have you felt this truth dropped like a
soft velvet blanket at night fall
and encountered its greeting in the warm breath
right before sleep
and in the beautiful appearance that meet the eyes
with the dawn

the gayatri mantra implores grace to move the
mind in the direction of light and wisdom ...
may it be so
blessed friend of the heart
may it be so...

lamb of God / bread of life...

lamb of God
symbolic of the complete
sacrifice and surrender of ones personal
inner world to the altar of truth
to offer up the mind is the greatest sacrifice
of all...
it is the greatest mantra
the greatest charity
the greatest puja
the greatest austerity
and the greatest devotion..

bread of life
symbolic of Gurus teachings that have manifested out of
this ones outstanding example of complete surrender and
giving over of all sense of personhood (ego)
to the universal life force ..
pure consciousness
which then is brought forward to humanity as compassionate service
as a means to free souls from bondage..
and given most especially to those that are under the wings
of Guru's care
this is the food that is to be taken in every moment
in gratitude
with an open heart and mind with the desire to become the same
a walking, living being of light, love and compassion
a sweet hearty substantial *food* for humanity to partake in...
not something empty of substance
**which is a one that speaks words with no true
action or direct experience behind them**..
this bread is not to be taken lightly
it is to be fully appreciated and taken in deeply ...
it is the food for *spirit* and carries far more weight and
true sustenance than anything else consumed..
as what it is made of can and will free the soul completely
from all fetters (if one remains sincere and steady)
and will bring one
strength and sturdiness while within the journey

maha shanti om

Saturday, January 19, 2013

run on the wind..

oh precious soul
come after me here 
run on the wind and dance in the sea
as a rejoicer of this rich life 
that rings of immeasurable suchness
so right and filled with treasures
of heart
come find me at last 
seeker of light 
as a bright dawn emblazoned in the sky
and a luscious full moon
with the rich black night all about
be the best of the best 
and find me here everlasting
as yourself
and living always
as o ne

petals of white..

lifting the soul
out of the dust
the mind awakens
to itself
as the lotus
its sweet petals of white
from the mud
of struggle
heart made anew
as the day of birth
and the day the form falls
this light
so fresh and still
o ne always

have you opened your eyes today...

have you seen the sky today
in its beautiful glory
have you smelled the lovely flowers
and sat by the cool flowing river
have you watched in wonder
at the shifting states of beauty
that have come to your eyes and ears
night is drawing near
and enveloping the day glow
within the fading light..
is your love growing as a glorious tree
in the fullness of summer
making you to forget your
little world of cares...
and as the head rests on the pillow
is your heart focused within
the blessings that are
here and now
a most sweet peace
melting in
oh dear one
have you opened your eyes

Friday, January 18, 2013

india (part # 5) - dharmsala

lay householders and buddhist practitioners engaging in prostration after prostration
tibetan monks debating in courtyards trying to one up the other
thirty or more rounds of vipassana with no progress to speak of ...
turning prayer wheels as a way to gain merit
harsh austerities
such as holding up the arm for lifetimes -
and depriving the body of food and comforts..
corrupt ashrams
seeking powers and siddhis...
and of course disingenuous seekers and Gurus
these are just some of the things witnessed while in india that Guruji has spared
the seeker from ...
one could be caught up in these practices
for lifetimes with no true depth gained
without Guru's light...

practices that are meant to gain merit, develop compassion or sharpen intellectual powers
have their place in the dual world
some can benefit to a certain degree in that they help to
open the heart and bring the mind to focus on something broader...
but by no means do these practices bring lasting effects of inner peace and stillness..
for non-dual consciousness to be revealed, it is essential the sharp sword of Gurus
wisdom is in place ..
as it is this transmission that will cut through superficial patterns within consciousness..
and lay bare the graspings there ...
even if the practice is for the *good of humanity* .. still the focal point is external and
within the field of duality...
the difference between **challenging** internal conditionings and**nurturing** pure qualities
within is like night and day..
the first will breakthrough the mental world of opposites such as *good and bad* and all the
ups and downs that come with this...
the second may indeed make for a better *persona* but this is truly only adding another cover
to the mix that will haveto be cut thru later when one gets really serious..
many of the buddhist practitioners (especially the women) are not given deeper teachings
and do not know the difference as they have not been exposed to a true teacher...
this is true of many of us as we stumble along in the beginning prior to meeting Guru
the ones that are here on the path can attest to the stunning difference in having a
living Guru that challenges directly the long held conditionings
compared to the path that was carved out blindly before stepping onto this path of Guruji's ...


the trip was several hours long from rishikesh to dharmsala...
the roads were straight up into the mountains -- winding and curving the entire time..
the roads were made of dirt and had no lanes to separate ...
one never knew what was to appear around the bend... a cow?, a pedestrian?.. another
motorcycle or tourist bus coming head on? who could know...
the driver was used to this whole business of surprises around every turn and curve
as well as the narrow passage ways.....
he rarely slowed down and it seemed there were so many close calls ...
which to an indian was just an ordinary day on the road...  no big deal...
i closed my eyes here and there and flowed along ...
Guruji didn't feel well due to the constant twisting and turning and we needed to stop awhile
until the dizziness settled....
eventually we made our way there towards evening.....

more on dharmsala later...

om shanti

Thursday, January 17, 2013

the ones that listened..

a man came today as himself
he said he was a true one
and not tainted by this or that
he said he walked as light 
and held nothing as separate
he said he was not imprisoned 
by mind
or anything at all
he said he was simple 
and showed the way out..
the ones who listened were the most 
generous of heart
and did not lay their false realities on 
what was being said
but imbibed in this simplicity
that spoke to their hearts 
in a most honest way
they lived well these ones
that listened and followed
so much more well than if 
they ignored what was said


heavy is your burden
when you bring the past here 
lay it down 
and be of good heart
that holds not the light away from 
your spirit that thirsts
but give in to the pure waters
that will quench the ache
give in and rejoice in this heart so true
as the soldier that has laid down the weapons
never to pick them up again
because you have come here
into the peaceful way
and are not a warrior any more
you are no-body
with this knowing 
there is nothing to protect
freedom is your nature
indeed it is..

endless summers..

if you lose you are blessed 
as the babe fresh with downy soft hair
and the light on the hills 
that carries no hint of the dark
if you are without shelter 
you are free as the wind 
and the endless summers of glory
that go on and on...
not hemmed in as a rare bird in a cage
you are free 
when you lose the baggage of me

silent heart

silent heart
above the mind always
soaring high as a bird 
lost to the open air
yet grounded in the strength
of this now

be still

when the mind falls
for even a moment
this is the time to sink in 
and not rise up back into the waves 
that pull one outward 
and create a world
it is this stillness that washes 
away the ego with its false shades
and haunting thoughts..
there is no other way
precious seeker
but to rest in the true essence
as one is walking across a bridge
to get to the side of peace
what a waste to go back again
to the dark lands of unrest
the ghosts that follow you will
not be turned away easily
what will set them running
is when the lies are laid bare -
and great quietude is entered..

indeed yes
to be free
dear one 
be still
be still...


listen friends
the rushing river of freedom is near
so much so as to feel it in the bones and breath
the top of the mountain has appeared above
the thick band of clouds
and the heart is filled with rich vibration
of pure life
in the movement there is an emptiness
and sweet peace
so very still
can you taste it now?
as the deep calm of the ocean
in the core of your being
like a candle blown out
revealing the sun at its fullest..
within this light the shadow of ego
deeper and deeper
so as to be unrecognizable...
and what was thought to be separate
is reavealed
as o ne always...

o friend
be still
freedom is near...


it is truly your attachment to the senses that draws the thoughts
in to play about...
and this attachment is what needs to be cast in the fire to burn
so as to see what is true
that you are and have always been spirit
shivasundari......the beauty of shiva in motion
pure consciousness
without name or form
to be free
one does not haveto cast
everything external away
but only let go inside
and free up your identity with the false (ego)
so that the true SELF can shine
as all --


if you were a beggar
you could sit on the side of dusty roads and hold out your cup
if you were a king you could bask in your riches
and rule over the land
if you were a nobleman 
you could watch over your court and see to it that all was 
in its place 
if you were a monk you could chant the name of buddha
if a sufi allah
if a sannyasi shiva
if a nun God
if a child play with toys
if an adult play in the world..
if an old one
sit with achey bones...

but within the waters of truth 
oh seeker of perfection
you have no dress
nor are you a being
playing a part of 
such and such..
you are truly no-thing 
you have
no name 
no face
no words
no body
no sorrow
no past
no future
no truth
no false
only the flow of life 
lives on 
as eternal

so dear one 
cast away your burden of 
coverings here,
rest always 
as o ne...
free in the heart
as you have
always been...


as a stairway to the real
walk on light feet
steeped in desire to be free
set yourself not apart from the open sky
and earth that brings change in its own time
putting one foot in front
of the other
in the waters of grace..
to die at the top where the light strikes
the heart
in magnificent perfection
setting the birds of sorrow free
to light no more within
the mental gaze..
bright sun of eternity dawn
this now
pure peace
love in its naked bare emptiness


crying in the hands 
holding up thy face to the heavens
what is this?
no love of life
be here freely
and sit easily
there is nothing that 
has been taken
only peace 
no more tears

heart glow

have you not a lamp to hold
you do indeed
it is the hearts glow
that has always lit your way
to paradise
of this open now


show your face sweet freedom 
in the hills the sky is so alive as to 
make thought perish
and stilled rays of glory 
fill in 
where mind once played
its tune
of me and mine...


as the days come and go 
the sea of freedom lives on in the mystery
that carries not a drop of sorrow

Wednesday, January 16, 2013


when the master speaks 
it is to lay open the false patterns of mental ways
and to reveal a deeper seeing that wakes one up 
to reality as it is --
the masters mind is completely cleared of obstructions 
and shields that hide what is pure 
it is this clarity that is so very powerful in creating 
a shake up to ones private world that is so familiar
there is nothing that one can do or say when pure consciousness
strikes the mind deeply --
what is revealed is a *direct* experience of non-dual existence
the mind loses its power to grasp and cover over
and the light that has always been within the center 
is revealed
the direct experience of pure consciousness can come at any hour
any moment
within any experience ...
there is no telling where or when...
when mind does fall 
there is no preparing or inviting it ...
it simply happens as spontaneous as anything in nature ..
without a doer  --
this does not mean that there is no preparing ...
this is the paradox
there absolutely needs to be -- Guru, practices, patience
consistency.. surrender ... all of it very much needs to be in place
for the fruit to ripen....
and drop from the tree...

shanti om


it is this light dear
that is the beauty of life
melt into it
as a candle in the heat of the fire
such a rich glow will be given off 
from the depths of the soul
as a most glorious resonance of love 
and peace 
this is the soul fire 
of now

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

if the seas parted...

if the seas parted
and the land became a great paradise of awesome wonder
would you fall to your knees in deep joy and gratitude?
would you sit still and really *see* what is here in this moment?
would you imbibe it deeply
as if there were no tomorrow?
what will it take dear
to open your eyes?
this way of mind robs one of seeing rightly
and makes what is here to
look faded and not well at times...
this is so not true
what is here is nothing short of beauty that lives and sings now, now
and again now...
there is nothing more glorious dear seeker than this moment,,,
you can see or not see...
but still life is pure and flowing always ...

rishikesh (india part #4)

rishikesh is where Guruji spent the majority of her time while in india..
it is a crowded place filled with a constant flow of colorful life of all sorts and varieties.... a steady stream of indians, tourists, sadhus, cows, monkeys and beggars line the walkways...
devotional worship and rituals
are constantly taking place near the ghats or along the dirt paths that are laden with cow dung and mud from the last rains..
as usual Guruji escorted us to a decent place to stay that had a restaurant downstairs...
... one could even order american style food..
the area  in rishikesh that we hung out much of the time was relatively small
it made for easy travel on foot with market stalls and cafes lined up throughout..
have written about rishikesh in the first post entitled india (part # 1) ...
this is where we spent the majority of our time ....  wandering about and relating to the sadhus,
market vendors and beggars...
though we spent our days in the thick of sadhu life... it was not near to the degree that Guru lived several years back when she was in rishikesh...
she lived on the banks of the ganges for a time with a group of sadhus (this is where she entered realization)
it was a very rare thing for a sadhvi (female sadhu) to live in the *raw* open land with just a little sparse hut set up ...
she would bathe in the ganges early every morning and that water was *COLD* she said many
(i can attest to this as did dip the feet in awhile and brrrrr)...
one of the sadhus she lived with  (who has now entered maha samadhi) was very dear to her and took the role of watching over her ....he took this role *very* seriously it sounded like from the stories
she told about him....
there are many different sects of sadhus in india -
each dons a different style and color of robes (or lack thereof as in the case of the naga babas who roam stark naked)...
one sect of sadhus are called aghoris -- some these sadhus wear all black...
they are Shiva devotees and engage in extreme practices and austerities as a means to break through
mental conditionings and attachment to form...
there were a group of aghoris in rishikesh that we met... one of these sadhus had a very peaceful
presence and did appear to be absorbed in sadhana and deep contemplation...
we would see him along our route everyday and Guruji would praise him for holding his concentration
most of the sadhus in rishikesh, Guruji was well acquainted with and they recognized her
and called to us to come over as we walked along...
(with the exception of the ones that knew of her strong presence and tough love style manner.. these ones would run away )....
Guruji gave several diksha ceremonies on the ghats of the ganges during our stay there...
initiation was given to a sadhu as well who claimed that he was going to change his ways...
which meant that he would stop smoking cannabis and hanging out with the wrong crowds ..
he vowed that he would immerse in sadhana and try to be honest...
the spiritual name given to him by Guruji was Kali das  --
when diksha was given in the early years, the spiritual name given always ended in das which
means *servant of* ...  so his name meant *servant of Kali* or to be surrendered to that energy that
cuts thru conditionings ....  a great name indeed ....
this sadhu hung out with us much of the time we were there...
he was rather endearing, but one could still feel the mischief in him and unsteady energy that he carried...
Guruji was very generous with him and gave him some clothing and food ..
some of the sadhus we encountered appeared to be in need of hospital care .. they had wounds
or illnesses...
to live outside and sleep on the hard earth with the mosquitoes and rainy seasons and barely a cover or wrap can be brutal on the form...
so the majority do give in to smoking cannabis as a means to numb out from the rough lifestyle...
so many are very thin as food becomes secondary...
but even when money was given to take care of the needs ..  it was found out that they did not go
to the hospital at all, but spent their money on more smoking and nonsense...
this is when Guruji would get after them for their dishonest actions and she did not speak in a
shy voice about it ...
Kali das was no different... even though he was given such grace .. he was found later smoking and
hanging with the group of babas that were not good influences....
of course he was caught by Guruji and you can bet that this was addressed ...
(at the end of our stay there,  it was not looking promising that Kali das would clean up his act)...
it is a *very* strong pull for sadhus to go back to the old ways that one is used to ....  especially when
this area was saturated with fake sadhus and so many masquerading as Gurus or seekers ..
along our daily walks we also saw some sadhus engaged in austerities of all sorts...
one sadhu was found with his arm held straight up in the air everyday -- he said so far he had held it there several weeks..
and was working towards holding it up for several years or more...
there was another little sadhu in his hut who attended to his needs and appeared very devoted to aiding
this sadhu in his laborious task...
after several days we walked further into rishikesh ...  Guruji showed us where she used to live
with the group of sadhus on the banks of the ganges...
the little hut was gone --
she said a lot of the babas had been run out of the area due to their dishonest ways and lifestyle...

we walked over the suspension bridge across the ganga called lakshman jhula..
it took quite awhile to make it across as
every bit of space was crowded with motorcycles, cows, monkeys, beggars and droves of people of all types
and forms....
Guruji said this is where the beloved sadhu that watched over her entered maha samadhi --
the mind fell away easily while walking over this bridge ... an indescribabale feeling of peace entered.
the energy there was extraordinary...
Guruji said within her journey while walking across it, she lost body consciousness... this is understood...

in the early morning hour, we went to one of the temples in which rituals were performed to the
shiva lingum --
liquid and flowers was poured over the lingam as a means to honor shiva and shakti...
devotees chanted *om namah shivaya* which means "i bow to Shiva.. the lord of the yogis..
the spirit that dwells within all hearts"...

this is all the flow that is coming for now...
our next stop was to be dharmsala -- up in the foothills of the himalayas where the Dalai Lama and buddhist monks reside...
om shanti

for more on rishikesh see india - rishikesh (part #1)