the highest..

showman of the world that claim to be lights

are up on stage to be entertainers and gain affections

of the people 

they are not here to bring truth or break down the walls

of ego 

they have within them little in the way of true wisdom

and are not set steady in the absolute 

as many have no idea what it is to let go of suffering 

and die the death that brings eternal life 

they plant seeds of confusion for the seekers as the words

spoken do not flow from stillness

but from ego based understandings and philosophies

this is a very harmful thing to put out to the universe

this idea of oneness being freedom, engenders a false 

notion of liberation 

and is taken in by those that are too unsteady to go forward

into the light in full

so these ones take up *ideas* and *notions* of freedom

as this feels much safer

but in the end it is another prison that confines the mind to 

a particular pattern of thinking
that lays yet another cover on reality

another separation, another barrier 

that most will guard with vengeance out of fear of

opening to the real 

which will wash this type of clinging away

the mind can be its own worst enemy so easily

and many times these ones have had no deeper experiences

so do not know the difference 

or they are unwilling to let go of the spiritual status
they feel they have reached 

and will fight with all they have to maintain it 

conversely, the mind can be made into a tool for the absolute 

channeled in the direction of peace, joy and light 

and eventually dissolved into everlasting purity

the true Guru is here to give the hard hitting pointers 

that will strike the illusion

and lay it bare so ever present stillness can be revealed 

these ones are not here to be on stage or play mind games

these ones stick to reality always and are not swayed by emotions 

and personal stories of the seekers 

what is given is what is in the best interest of the student to wake this one 

up to reality

what is given can be strong and powerful

or gentle in nature

whatever is needed 

this type of wisdom flows from the source directly

without stain of mental thought or plan

without motive or thoughts of what is to be gained or lost

these concepts do not arise in a still mind

so the pointings given are of the highest 

india (part # 5) - dharmsala

lay householders and buddhist practitioners engaging in prostration after prostration
tibetan monks debating in courtyards trying to one up the other
thirty or more rounds of vipassana with no progress to speak of ...
turning prayer wheels as a way to gain merit
harsh austerities
such as holding up the arm for lifetimes -
and depriving the body of food and comforts..
corrupt ashrams
seeking powers and siddhis...
and of course disingenuous seekers and Gurus
these are just some of the things witnessed while in india that Guruji has spared
the seeker from ...
one could be caught up in these practices
for lifetimes with no true depth gained
without Guru's light...

practices that are meant to gain merit, develop compassion or sharpen intellectual powers
have their place in the dual world
some can benefit to a certain degree in that they help to
open the heart and bring the mind to focus on something broader...
but by no means do these practices bring lasting effects of inner peace and stillness..
for non-dual consciousness to be revealed, it is essential the sharp sword of Gurus
wisdom is in place ..
as it is this transmission that will cut through superficial patterns within consciousness..
and lay bare the graspings there ...
even if the practice is for the *good of humanity* .. still the focal point is external and
within the field of duality...
the difference between **challenging** internal conditionings and**nurturing** pure qualities
within is like night and day..
the first will breakthrough the mental world of opposites such as *good and bad* and all the
ups and downs that come with this...
the second may indeed make for a better *persona* but this is truly only adding another cover
to the mix that will haveto be cut thru later when one gets really serious..
many of the buddhist practitioners (especially the women) are not given deeper teachings
and do not know the difference as they have not been exposed to a true teacher...
this is true of many of us as we stumble along in the beginning prior to meeting Guru
the ones that are here on the path can attest to the stunning difference in having a
living Guru that challenges directly the long held conditionings
compared to the path that was carved out blindly before stepping onto this path of Guruji's ...

dharmsala...

the trip was several hours long from rishikesh to dharmsala...
the roads were straight up into the mountains -- winding and curving the entire time..
the roads were made of dirt and had no lanes to separate ...
one never knew what was to appear around the bend... a cow?, a pedestrian?.. another
motorcycle or tourist bus coming head on? who could know...
the driver was used to this whole business of surprises around every turn and curve
as well as the narrow passage ways.....
he rarely slowed down and it seemed there were so many close calls ...
which to an indian was just an ordinary day on the road...  no big deal...
i closed my eyes here and there and flowed along ...
Guruji didn't feel well due to the constant twisting and turning and we needed to stop awhile
until the dizziness settled....
eventually we made our way there towards evening.....

more on dharmsala later...

om shanti

rishikesh (india part #4)

rishikesh is where Guruji spent the majority of her time while in india..
it is a crowded place filled with a constant flow of colorful life of all sorts and varieties.... a steady stream of indians, tourists, sadhus, cows, monkeys and beggars line the walkways...
devotional worship and rituals
are constantly taking place near the ghats or along the dirt paths that are laden with cow dung and mud from the last rains..
as usual Guruji escorted us to a decent place to stay that had a restaurant downstairs...
... one could even order american style food..
the area  in rishikesh that we hung out much of the time was relatively small
it made for easy travel on foot with market stalls and cafes lined up throughout..
have written about rishikesh in the first post entitled india (part # 1) ...
this is where we spent the majority of our time ....  wandering about and relating to the sadhus,
market vendors and beggars...
though we spent our days in the thick of sadhu life... it was not near to the degree that Guru lived several years back when she was in rishikesh...
she lived on the banks of the ganges for a time with a group of sadhus (this is where she entered realization)
it was a very rare thing for a sadhvi (female sadhu) to live in the *raw* open land with just a little sparse hut set up ...
she would bathe in the ganges early every morning and that water was *COLD* she said many
times....
(i can attest to this as did dip the feet in awhile and brrrrr)...
one of the sadhus she lived with  (who has now entered maha samadhi) was very dear to her and took the role of watching over her ....he took this role *very* seriously it sounded like from the stories
she told about him....
there are many different sects of sadhus in india -
each dons a different style and color of robes (or lack thereof as in the case of the naga babas who roam stark naked)...
one sect of sadhus are called aghoris -- some these sadhus wear all black...
they are Shiva devotees and engage in extreme practices and austerities as a means to break through
mental conditionings and attachment to form...
there were a group of aghoris in rishikesh that we met... one of these sadhus had a very peaceful
presence and did appear to be absorbed in sadhana and deep contemplation...
we would see him along our route everyday and Guruji would praise him for holding his concentration
within....

most of the sadhus in rishikesh, Guruji was well acquainted with and they recognized her

and called to us to come over as we walked along...
(with the exception of the ones that knew of her strong presence and tough love style manner.. these ones would run away )....
Guruji gave several diksha ceremonies on the ghats of the ganges during our stay there...
initiation was given to a sadhu as well who claimed that he was going to change his ways...
which meant that he would stop smoking cannabis and hanging out with the wrong crowds ..
he vowed that he would immerse in sadhana and try to be honest...
the spiritual name given to him by Guruji was Kali das  --
when diksha was given in the early years, the spiritual name given always ended in das which
means *servant of* ...  so his name meant *servant of Kali* or to be surrendered to that energy that
cuts thru conditionings ....  a great name indeed ....
this sadhu hung out with us much of the time we were there...
he was rather endearing, but one could still feel the mischief in him and unsteady energy that he carried...
Guruji was very generous with him and gave him some clothing and food ..
some of the sadhus we encountered appeared to be in need of hospital care .. they had wounds
or illnesses...
to live outside and sleep on the hard earth with the mosquitoes and rainy seasons and barely a cover or wrap can be brutal on the form...
so the majority do give in to smoking cannabis as a means to numb out from the rough lifestyle...
so many are very thin as food becomes secondary...
but even when money was given to take care of the needs ..  it was found out that they did not go
to the hospital at all, but spent their money on more smoking and nonsense...
this is when Guruji would get after them for their dishonest actions and she did not speak in a
shy voice about it ...
Kali das was no different... even though he was given such grace .. he was found later smoking and
hanging with the group of babas that were not good influences....
of course he was caught by Guruji and you can bet that this was addressed ...
(at the end of our stay there,  it was not looking promising that Kali das would clean up his act)...
it is a *very* strong pull for sadhus to go back to the old ways that one is used to ....  especially when
this area was saturated with fake sadhus and so many masquerading as Gurus or seekers ..
along our daily walks we also saw some sadhus engaged in austerities of all sorts...
one sadhu was found with his arm held straight up in the air everyday -- he said so far he had held it there several weeks..
and was working towards holding it up for several years or more...
there was another little sadhu in his hut who attended to his needs and appeared very devoted to aiding
this sadhu in his laborious task...
after several days we walked further into rishikesh ...  Guruji showed us where she used to live

with the group of sadhus on the banks of the ganges...
the little hut was gone --
she said a lot of the babas had been run out of the area due to their dishonest ways and lifestyle...

we walked over the suspension bridge across the ganga called lakshman jhula..
it took quite awhile to make it across as
every bit of space was crowded with motorcycles, cows, monkeys, beggars and droves of people of all types
and forms....
Guruji said this is where the beloved sadhu that watched over her entered maha samadhi --
the mind fell away easily while walking over this bridge ... an indescribabale feeling of peace entered.
the energy there was extraordinary...
Guruji said within her journey while walking across it, she lost body consciousness... this is understood...

in the early morning hour, we went to one of the temples in which rituals were performed to the
shiva lingum --
liquid and flowers was poured over the lingam as a means to honor shiva and shakti...
devotees chanted *om namah shivaya* which means "i bow to Shiva.. the lord of the yogis..
the spirit that dwells within all hearts"...

this is all the flow that is coming for now...
our next stop was to be dharmsala -- up in the foothills of the himalayas where the Dalai Lama and buddhist monks reside...
om shanti

for more on rishikesh see india - rishikesh (part #1)

Haridwar (india part #3)

Have read somewhere that when a great soul arrives, it rains...
Guruji has often said this is what happens when she comes into town...
and the day we arrived in Haridwar was no different...
we were met by a torrential downpour of rain...
what a blessing it was to be guided thru india by Guruji..
she had lived there off and on for five years and knew the best most clean places to stay...
she knew each time we set off exactly where we were going and could direct the driver
of the rickshaw with great precision...
this does not mean that everything went smooth by any means...
Guru was always up front insuring that the drivers were honest in their dealings which
was unending work for her....  
Haridwar was amazing to pull into as there is a massive bronze statue of Lord Shiva
that seems to hover above all else...  very stunning ...
we arrived at our hotel which was quite nice overlooking the rushing waters of the ganges...
this place was so different than Delhi --
as the primary life and action at least where we were situated was along the ghats of the ganges...
we rose early that morning and went outside where the *action* was ...
the feeling was very surreal...
it felt like no one slept there at all as there was a constant buzz of activity...
many of the ones outside wore sannyasi robes even those that had crippled and/or deformed bodies...
there were people taking baths in the rushing waters hanging onto ropes as the current is so strong
it could sweep one away...
some in the water were absorbed in devotional prayers and/or offerings to mother ganga...
(this was one of the beautiful things about india that displays of devotion in the open were completely
common and no one blinked an eye at it....  so very different than the west where all is
so private and these types of displays are done behind closed doors) ....
we crossed a little bridge and met a few sadhus that were outside ---
it was the usual affair with them... smoking, chatting and drinking chai...
along our route we met with a sadhvi or female sadhu....
sadhvis are very rare in india (i believe we may have seen two while we were there)...
this is because it is a very harsh lifestyle outside and also not safe for women to roam alone...
this particular sadhvi did live outside .. she had made herself a little camp that was quite sparse,
but one could tell that she had lived there awhile as it seemed to be set up like her own space..
she had a small boy with her that was running around in sadhu wear...
she said he was given to her to raise (something must have happened to his family, but do not remember)...
she was raising him like her own and was to teach him the ways of traditional wandering...
this woman did appear to be mostly sincere and have some knowledge
about sadhu life as it is meant to be which was nice...
Guruji praised her for being true on the journey ....
we stayed out most of the morning hanging out with the sadhus and hearing their stories and chit chat... Guruji would always ask them how their sadhana was going...
it was very much the same feeling... not much seriousness...
but indeed very interesting and filled with color and life...

we only stayed in Haridwar for one night ....
our next stop was rishikesh which is where Guruji spent most of her days while in india
and where she entered realization along the banks of the ganges there ...

off we went to the next destination...

om shanti

First stop Delhi (india part #2)

when we arrived in india it was late at night..

we took a taxi to our destination (which all i heard is that it was to be a place where Maharishi TM practitioners stay)...  

Hridaya had set this up (this is the first time i had met him)...

we arrived late and harried from the wild ride thru the streets of Delhi (where the lines on the roads

were merely *suggestions* as Guruji put it...)  

to a mansion type of place that was turned into a hospital or ayurvedic clinic for practitioners of Maharishi...  

the place had a huge gate and grounds

inside there were many floors and rooms

the feeling of it was stark and barren as if one had entered another world in which there was little

to no life present...

my son Judah was with us on the trip ...we shared a decent looking room... 

we were so exhausted that could barely take in the odd scene and just immediately crashed for several

hours...

in the morning we wandered out in the hallways and found no one there -- just empty bare halls and the same, lifeless feeling...

there was a TV room with solely Maharishi TV playing all day long.. this gave a very strange, eery feeling......

finally a little bit of life emerged .. Guruji, Hridaya and some stragglers (TM practitioners) who literally looked like robots and appeared very unwell in mind and spirit...

the few staff there busied themselves giving ayurvedic treatments of all sorts and varieties all day long

so this is what the practitioners talked about all day... what treatment they were receiving and when...

Guruji questioned them a few times about their progress, but they could state absolutely nothing in the 

way of experience gained by being under the guideance of Maharishi... 

and these were practitioners that had been on the path for  upwards of 20-30 yrs plus and had donated a ton of money to their path..

it was a sad scene indeed...

the food was a white porridge type of thing

there may have been another very unmemorable item as well..

this was all that was available to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner....

we stayed in this place several days i recall and it was like being in a sterile lifeless dwelling 

(literally) in which the practitioners were completely empty of any spirit or substance...

one day we even snuck out and ate at a Mcdonalds (which didn't have meat as many areas are vegetarian in india).. but whatever we ate it tasted amazing compared to the pitiful meals at the so called *hospital*....  

the days there were spent with no valuable input given to the residents ..  not one drop of wisdom was imparted that was beneficial... the focus was on the treatments (so very odd)... 

the practitioners there were not open by any means to being challenged or could relay one drop of 

substance gathered by being on a path for most of their adult life....  

it seems if one had walked a path for this long there would be greater health and deeper knowledge, but it was the opposite... the energy there appeared very drained of life -- it just was not a good feeling and completely

lacked balance and anything one could call spirituality...

this just makes one so much appreciate the vibrancy and effectiveness of the path offered by Guruji...

there is no comparison here is all that can be said...

needless to say there were none that protested when our time was done at the clinic...

we packed up quickly on the last day and 

off we went on the wild and crazy ride thru the streets of Delhi ..

next stop Haridwar....  

india - rishikesh (part #1)

when in India, there was a raw *in your face* lifestyle

not seen here in the west 

there was so much of a realness, in terms of debilitated souls 

beggars and those that had been cast aside living on the streets,

holding the hand out for just a bit of food...

some of the people were not at all grateful when given money

clothes or food...

they wanted more and more and more...

a few were very grateful and smiled with whatever was given,

even some with no arms or legs...

the majority of the sadhus there were pretenders, and did not wear the cloth 

for the right reasons 

they begged about and held out the hand as a gesture of  give me, give me

this was not taken in well at all by Guruji -

she told them very strongly that to beg like this was not the way of a sannyasi

and that one should be sitting doing sadhana 

then what is given is out of respect

that the sannyasi is engrossed in the search and a way to honor efforts made there..

the next day, the very same sadhus were found scamming the tourists yet again

when they saw Guruji coming, many would run 

when we stayed in rishikesh and went out in the day 

the babas (sadhus) there would recognize Guruji and call us over

so our little tribe would wander over near the Ghats, and sit around the dhuni fire

while many of the Babas smoked and the flies pestered the body constantly --

the face was sweating with the heat and the fire...

some of the babas would chant *om namah shivaya* ...  but most 

were talking and gossiping about, not at all focused within..

there were a few sincere sadhus that were noticed, and Guruji would praise these ones

for staying in the heart and honoring the tradition of a wandering seeker that 

has taken vows...

the cows in india roamed about all over the place...

their bodies were mere skin stretched over bones ...

this was sad to see....

there were rituals down by the Ganges every night in which homage was paid to Lord Shiva

there was a constant flow of activity about all night and day...

thank goodness for Guru being the guide there as so much of her time was spent

clearing the way for us by calling out the dishonest ways of the ones that came in our path..

we wore sannyasi robes the entire time we were there ...

this was not always honored though... 

a female western sannyasi did not for the most part go over well in india...

sometimes a humble one would come by and touch the feet as recognition for what it was 

to be within vows  --  

other times, there would be slander and a very mischievous, unwelcome attitude about 

entirely different feeling ...

all in all an interesting experience...  

thanks to Guru we were able to see india in the *raw*,  not the fantasy version of it..

not always fun or easy ... 

but definitely an experience that no tourist gets.. 

one can be sure of this....  

this is all that is flowing now on this subject..

possibly more to come later about the time there ...

shanti om

for more on rishikesh...see rishikesh (india part #4)