Buddha spoke of detachment..

when Buddha sat under the bodhi tree

he was filled with overwhelming emotions 

and movement of mind 

he saw many visions including mara the goddess

of deception dancing before him

he was not to be swayed by this 

but continued steadfast in his meditation

he sat and sat and sat some more 

all came forward from his consciousness 

of other worlds and other lifetimes 

images of fire burning and hell realms 

and desires that took on forms of lust 

and envy and pride 

and all the things that haunt the soul so 

much when in mind 

he did not move, but continued to look deeply

at his mind that put out these images 

and questioned what is true 

are these images true that come and go 

and play about?

or are they made up as fiction and have 

no substance in themselves except for 

what the mind attaches to?

he looked at this and saw that this movement 

was not real in it's essence 

for it did not remain and died away when looked at 

he continued to question his mind 

and penetrated it's layers with awareness 

and eventually the mind stilled 

as what was seen as false was not given 

any more attention

and it withered and died away

leaving the beauty of the absolute alone

Buddha spoke always to the middle way
and detachment being primary
for without detachment the mind
was not to find freedom
this is why those on the path are to
*witness* what is here which creates a buffer
to the experience
and then one is not so lost in the mix of it all..
with this, the mind
begins to get some distance and clarity
on what is taking place
then from here
one can continue to go forward
into deeper waters..

Buddha means *awake*

Buddha sat under the bodhi tree to clear
his mind of the false
why did he come to sit and how
did he find himself under the tree?

He was born in a family of wealth
that were focused on externals
clothes, royal trappings and games of love, war, sex
and worldly pleasures were their mind sets
this was very superficial in nature
and did not hold any substance
or find its way into the heart of the young
seeker
he was looking for something other than
what came like this and gave no lasting return
he was wanting to be free of all attachments
of form and desire
to rid his mind of the false energies that rose
to haunt his soul in the morning, day and evening
he was not wanting to live like a king
for it held no lasting value

Once his longing for freedom fully blossomed
and he knew for certain he was not a man of
the world
and did not want to delve further into the life
that was handed so easily to him
(like a plate filled with wonderful
foods and pleasures right at hand)
When he knew for certain
he had enough of all of this
and that his desire was firing elsewhere
in the heart to seek
this is the evening when
he took to his horse and went out with the help of his long
time companion
and then journeyed forth alone
he did not bring with him heavy trappings of the past
as this would be very cumbersome and daunting
for he was to journey through mountain passes and
into lands that were very rigorous
so why then would he bring the heaviness of his
past with him
he left the wealth
he left his family
he left his child (in good hands with those in the
community to care for)

So he moved forward
what he found in the beginning was suffering
suffering that he had been shielded from before
and he was shocked
he saw people starving and gaunt
like skeletons
pain wracking their eyes and heart
he saw souls lost and left to waste away like shadows
he saw old age and decreptitude
he saw poverty
he saw struggle and deep despair in the eyes
of those sitting by the roadside
what a shock this was indeed
as nothing like this had ever been revealed
before

He did not go to feed these souls food
or find them water
he did not bless them or help them to stand
he did not call them to come near or even pray for them
instead, he resigned himself to find freedom so that all of
humanity would have a map out
to be free of suffering eternally

So he wandered through the forest
barefoot and clothed only in a bit of cloth
with the elements coming in fully as there was no door
to shut or any locks in this open land
he carried no money
he begged for food and alms
he ate what he found
shrubs and berries
seeds and even earth when there was nothing
he slept on the dirt under the full moon
with the wild animals of nature's creation
and listened to their call in his ear
he encountered dangers
snakes, leopards, tigers and all the
wild things that people shun
and he sat shaking and petrified
but stayed, sat, walked
and continued

If he were to go back to where he came from
he would not be the Buddha
or the example of glory
that he is
or the one that showed the way out
of suffering
he would be another creature
that sank into worldly desire and was lost
to their own nature
like so many others
he would not have awakened
to the truth

So he wandered and sank into himself
in loneliness and dark places
but moved forward
he brought a lamp and this is the lamp
that lit his soul up
(not an external light)

he had no guide

**(Though this is not what is spoken
in the scriptures as the way that all can take
without a guide.
The majority need a true sturdy guide.
He is a rare example)**

Onward he went into the shadow land of mind
and its dark hauntings
the desire for flesh
the desires of food for the beast of ego
the desires for finding something for yourself
and holding it away as being yours only
all of the desires that haunts souls of those
in the shadows

He went into these dark energies
and did not run
and yes he was afraid and burned with the
desire to run
but he did not

He found himself in many rough waters
in which he did not know what to feel or think
but he called inwards always
to be present and steady

He almost wasted away to nothing
skin stretched across bone
and barely breathing
when a small girl
gave him some milk
he drank from it
because he finally understood
the body needed nourishment
and the soul needed the body for a time
to discover the truth
if the body died now
he would have lost his chance

The bodhi tree is a symbol
of his time spent in awakening
to his true nature
it is not a symbol that fits into your
picture of what it is
it is a shining example
of the forthright and steady efforts
of a soul to sit and discover himself
in nature with its spreading mystery
and open elements
the bodhi trees roots are so broad and flow
underground so deep that there is no way
that tree is to be shaken
this is like the spirit that is steady
through the winds of change and testing
waters
this is why the ones that do enter reality are the ones
that continue in spite of obstacles

The bodhi tree is where Buddha sat
for many a day
and many an hour
he did not wander around and talk
or ruminate about what he left behind
he just sat
and the demons came
and the desires rose up
this is where he continued to penetrate
the nature of mind and its false ramblings
he shook them clean
and tore away the covers of the false
he wrenched the mind clean of its wanderings
and personal stains
he wiped the mind of its outer layers that
blocked the light of truth
he did not reflect on what this or that meant
or hold his knowledge against the scriptures
or the lights of others
he was looking to find out for himself
so he could be a lamp to humanity
this is when he awakened
when all the false nature of impurities
burnt away
and the beauty of truth lit up

Buddha is awakened
and this is what it means
to be **awake**

let go, your world

the saints that come to know truth

walk alone thru the land of shadow 

they do not look back to see what is left behind

because by doing so the world is set in motion again

and this makes the journey much more arduous 

and lengthy

it is stated clearly in the scriptures that those that keep going 

into the death that brings life 

will be freed eternally 

as the bible rightly states the same:

"whoever tries to keep their life shall lose it

and whoever loses their life shall preserve it"

the ones that let go of their world are indeed 

the ones that will be freed 

friends of the heart this is the time now 

to move forward into the  fires

that will purify

and bring the soul to peace and light 

if you are seeking to be free 

this is the way

if you are playing with the world 

and wanting peace too, then no

you are not a man that is true on the path

you are a one that desires connection 

and feeling good

there is no one that can have their cake and eat it too

as far as reality is concerned 

and those that go on

well, they are rare in stamina and strength

and surrender

but this is not because of the rarity of freedom

it is always present 

it is just a rare one that tends to this fire of truth

and leaves it to burn the separation to ash

but the fact is...

freedom is open to all that make efforts 

not just here for some 

in the heart of all 

this freedom is

may it ring boundless and 

grow to consume the shadows

 

the time of awakening

in what is called knowledge

the man of ignorance awakens into light

which is what the soul is in reality

this one then is free and forever in peace 

he has no burden to carry again

he has no pride or shame or unrest

he has no worries that ripple the clear water

he has no judgements or thoughts that come and go

he is like a beautiful body of water 

that has been cleared of mud and sludge 

and now embodies the glory of that which is true

he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt 

that truth is not a body

or a mind 

or an appearance that comes and goes

what is truth is here as light and pristine 

consciousness 

this is not understood as a concept

but is lived *directly* as non-dual awareness 

a man that is this way --

clear and purified 

is a saint, a master, a buddha 

he takes away not a thing 

he leaves no trace 

he is pried open and unleashed of all that binds 

though he looks to be ordinary

and moves about in ordinary ways 

inside he is still and always still...

in what is called knowledge

the man of ignorance awakens

to himself 

this time of great auspiciousness 

is not known by mind 

it is not understood by a thought or concept

it is not to be marked on a calendar

like an event

it is not to be awaited for 

because it cannot be known

it is *unknown*

and so why fret about it?

stay with efforts and in the heart 

and let grace do the work that 

only grace can do...

and simply flow with life as it is ...

pure awareness

in the time of Shiva consciousness

a soul named trivara lived 

he was a man that did not know himself

he went around town as if he was great and 

filled with wise words about everything 

most was empty talk but those around him 

put up with his ways 

as they were not to challenge him about it 

one day a man of knowledge came to the town 

he wore simple clothes and spoke plainly 

about life 

he came into the place where people were out 

in the market stalls shopping for the day

he walked along without looking burdened 

but he did not stand out in any great way...

trivara was passing by at the very moment

the man of knowledge walked through the town 

trivara noticed this new presence immediately 

he did not know what to make of it 

he was ready to talk his nonsense for the day

and was not sure if he should approach this 

new man and give his flow of unending 

speaches about how the world is and 

how this should be like this and that should be more 

like that ...

well he pondered this awhile... 

he looked at the man from afar and did not see why he 

should not go ahead and fill this man with his great 

talking ...

so he did approach the new presence 

and said, sir you are new here and i would like to tell 

you of this town and how it came to be 

also there are troubles here that i am certain can be fixed 

if i were to be able to speak out more 

and given a special place here to have a voice for all to hear 

i know this sounds like ....

and this is where his voice trailed off as the man of knowledge

did not appear to be absorbed in the words of trivara

but inside seemed calm and pure ...

trivara said, i must ask you sir if you are from here or elsewhere 

for i feel a bit different in your presence as 

my mind is settled and quiet  -- i have not experienced this before ...

the man of knowledge said he did not know what to say about it ..

only that his mind was still always ...

and this is a very good thing to be in peace and quiet...

trivara said, how would i have known this quiet was here 

if you had not come into town today? 

i would have never known of this beauty and calm way...

i am struck by it and have no words for once ...

i am not pulled in all kinds of directions as usual in terms of 

wanting to be something other and wanting what is not here ..

how very odd that this mind was here  a minute ago and now gone..

and this quiet takes all of that driven way of being away...

i have no words now ...

no words is a good thing said the man of knowledge..

but he did not look changed by any of it or appear to be amazed --

but was simply present and this was all...

trivara said, what am i to do now?

the man of knowledge said, be still and live your life as usual...

do not bring the mind back again...

trivara said, indeed! i cannot continue on this course of talking all the time 

about what? i do not know what that was all about,

but it seems to have lost hold in this moment...

it seems like nothing happened -- i cannot get away from this 

palpably pure present being that is...

i am not who i thought i was -- this is certain...

the man of knowledge said, no -- you have always been pure awareness and 

not anything else...

trivara said, my Lord i am so grateful --

you have blessed me with this light in one moment --

how very unaware i was of this peace and beauty of my own soul

thank you for this joy filled day and time to have met you...

praise to you my great teacher of all

praise to the light of all

praise to the beauty that is undying 

praise to God in all hearts 

my eyes have been uncovered and my soul is at rest...

thank you  --

and he bowed his head low and the man of knowledge touched it 

and stillness prevailed....
and the man of knowledge went his way within peace
and trivara went his way within peace and joy...

true master

a true master has stopped attempting to control anything
and has died away in the heart
where there is no division
this one is not a master *of something* or attempting
to have power over anything...
his mind is still and by this in itself...
there is mastery ....
which truly means *lord or yourself* ...
this is a one that is not pushed and pulled about by the
mental chatter any longer...
there is no more *being controlled* by mind and thoughts
it is the great paradox, that when one attempts to control...
the mind spins out of control...
and vice versa...
the mind does not live in paradoxes...
it lives in blacks and whites and every shade in between...
but the simultaneous all and nothing ---
the true death that brings pure life about at the same time ...
what can mind know of this?

the true master does not sit on a throne
or seek out others to look up to him
what has this to do with being still and at perfect peace?
what more is needed in this completeness
that carries no drop of *other*?


the true master is not a man of action
he is *actionless* in the way of not being a doer
the mind is no longer in the driver's seat...
what remains?
pure intelligence ...
nothing higher or lower than this...
just is ...

the true master is no longer in suffering
as he is the first --
which means primary or prior to the story of me and mine
he does not cast a shadow any longer
or look to the world as different than himself
he is the same everywhere
in the same consciousness that is not divided
the shadowless constant...

how can you find him?
*by being still
how will you know him?
*by being still
how will you be like him?
*by leaving mind to die away, and not call it back
how will you see him?
*you will not
he is your very self
how will you manifest him?
*you will not -- grace will remove the blinders
and then the truth is revealed
how will you befriend him?
*by knowing your own heart
how will he come to you?
*by being quiet
how will he make himself known?
*through grace, deep peace and joy
how will he free the soul?
*by pointing within
how will he make me like him?
*by shaking up the private world,
but the man must let it go, and sink into the heart
where all falls away to be made in truth

beyond appearances

a man came today

he carried with him a book

that was dusty and old 

it read on the cover 

the non-dual scriptures

he set it down on a rock 

and the wind came up strongly

and blew the pages 

away 

leaving very little left of the book

the man said he had no need for reading anymore 

as his mind was sunk in the light of brahman

he *was* a living light 

absorbed always in brahman

what is the need for books then?

a man came today

he wore old clothes and seemed decrepit

hunched over 

with smiling eyes,

he said, all is o ne and cannot be otherwise 

this body is not who and what i am

it is now wasting away

and will be gone soon

but this pure consciousness that 

i truly am lives on forever 

i have no fear about anything 

in this moment, 

or the next, may this body fall

i am undivided always 

and can never perish

a man came today

radiant in face and form

he wore on his head the marks of Shiva

he donned the robes of saffron

and wore the rudraksha beads around his neck

he walked barefoot 

behaving rather odd 

singing and dancing 

without self-consciousness

and then falling silent 

he said he was forever still within

and cared not what he wore 

tomorrow, he said 

i may be in a business suit or naked

it matters not 

for i am not this form that you see

i live forever beyond appearances 

free as the open sky

and glorious full moon

i live eternally

within peace
as Shiva

a man came today

he looked troubled 

as his friend had just died 

he wept and wept 

with his face in his hands

he said he was an enlightened master 

and though he looked sorrowful on the outside 

he was at perfect peace within

not troubled at all

he said the exterior play is not real

only the beauty of truth 

is what is real 

though emotions still flow

this pristine essence 

remains forever untouched
without a drop of sorrow 

never to die away...

man of truth

if you are a man of truth

you will walk in the land of shadow

but not be touched by it

your eyes will be always on brahman

whether in the city or towns or 

home or out in the world 

this will be no different

whether sitting, walking, 

eating, drinking, 

speaking 

or being silent

if you are a man of truth

you will not go to the well of unrest

and be tempted there 

as desires will no longer rise to push

the soul about 

what will be your name

shiva

what will be your mark

detachment

what will be your family

none

what will be your home

absolute

what will be your joy

this moment

what will be your work

pointing the way to truth

what will be your rest

unbroken quietude

where do you reside

kevala or absolute aloneness 

Guru

the Guru is the light that shines 

in body as the heart

not to be seen as separate 

from yourself 

the same within you 

is Guru

for the Guru

the way is always clear

of obstacles 

as obstacles are not real 

but made of thoughts that come and go

how much reality does this have?

for the Guru

the mind does not exist

it never has 

it was simply a dream 

that carries nothing of substance

and never will

for the Guru 

the present is all that exists 

unburdened by thought 

without a personal story covering it over 

this has no reality

to the one 

resting in truth

for the Guru

the mystery is the norm

it is not filled with awe 

or anything extraordinary

this is what remains

simply life in it's pure form

not anything else

for the Guru

there is no goal 

what is here is full and complete

nothing added

nothing taken away

no one remains to

strive for anything 

just is 

simple 

for the Guru

energy of emotion lives for the moment

only

it does not go on and on

in waves to start up again

and again

when it is gone 

it is finished 

done

not to return

this is all

for the Guru

the body simply moves 

in accordance with shakti

no matter this play

of outer appearance 

the still mind

does not change ever 

for the Guru
the absolute is all that exists
there is nothing other
never changing
never dying away
only this


for the Guru
clarity is eternally present
seeing without seeing
hearing without hearing
living and breathing
in the heart
is this light
within truth
always

for the Guru
there are no devotees
only one undivided essence lives
in reality
yet grace allows for those seeking
a way out
to be purified by this light
that is truly the same SELF


for the Guru
what comes, comes
what goes, goes
no one is there to attach to the movement
or create a story around it..
never is there anything changing
in this reality
that is one

for the Guru
the many are a dream
and unreal as mist on the water
it is compassion that sees one
out of suffering
if one is sincere
to rest within this same light
as truth

Guru, the light of all...

in the dark era of Kali Yuga that is now
the Guru's light is imperative
so much so that one should
heed this wisdom well and hold fast
to this grace
there will be nothing else
that will truly right the wrongs
of societal drama and misdeeds or
make this world a lasting safe home for all
than the wisdom of the non-dual teachings
of which Guru embodies and offers
the ones doing social work
are fine for what they give
and can continue there to make
what changes can be made on the temporal
plane
but on the spiritual level, no
only Guru's light will break down the false
waves of separation and unrest
which is the energy that creates divisive,
self-interested behavior
the Guru is the one that will break this spell
of illusion and bring clarity
and deep stillness
it is this pure consciousness that only
gives what is purely intelligent
without wavering into the land of shadows
and misguided ways ever..
that is to settle the mind and settle the drama
so that peace can reign here on earth..
this is a most glorious gift to humanity--
it is given freely to those sincere hearts
open to listen as a means to bring these ones
to be lights as well
which will serve in greater proportions
this unborn truth to humanity
an awesome blessing indeed

May this wisdom that is here now as Guru
be consumed as the holy bread in every moment
to bring heartiness to the soul
and awaken minds to peace and joy everlasting

om shanti

the light of all

the most compassionate

soul of all is Guru

this one is the love that lives in all

as a fire that burns the dross

as a mother to the poor in spirit

that are hungry to find reality

the compassionate soul

the same that you are within

is Guru

this one will still the mind

so that it rises no more

to be troublesome and haunting 

if the soul is sincere

verily, this one will be

the blessing of one's life 

if all else can be left behind

except the heart that opens

in love to what is here 

then grace flows from this 

great presence Guru

that is not of form

or anything that can be seen by the eye

or heard by the ear

or understood by the mind 

this light that shines as Guru

is the one light of all

shiva 

the blessed o ne
coming in body

to free the soul of 

wrong knowledge 

to loose the knot

of identity to body and mind 

to unleash the light within

and call to rest

all sorrow and tears that flow

no more of this friend 

Guru is here... 

the light of all

the sage

the sage 

is free of unrest 

he is unburdened like shiva

he is identical to the absolute

he is free of pride and lust 

he bears no mark of ignorance 

such as attachment to form and

intellect

he is rinsed clean of sin

he is a light unto himself

he is a prince of peace 

he is a bright glow
for humanity

he may sit on a tiger skin

or a throne 

or live in the streets 

as a homeless one

and remains unblemished

as his consciousness 

is changeless

and not affected by externals

he sees the world of many

but still his consciousness

is single 

always within shiva 

he has no relationship 

to any 

as he is completely alone

within himself

he is in stillness always

without ups 

and downs of the world

steady as the mountain range

fresh as the rains that come 

to a parched land 

swept clean of stories

of me and mine

shorn of coverings of identifications

he may seat himself in the lotus 

position on the earth 

or walk in the crowded cities

he may wear ordinary clothes 

or nothing at all

he may speak eloquent words 

or be in silence

he may sit by the waters 

and sleep in the deep forests 

with the creatures 

or live in an ordinary home 

he may be outgoing 

or quiet in nature

he may be uncomely

or wear a beautiful face 

he may embody a fine form

or be bent with age
and decrepitude

he remains unattached

and eternally free

of these appearances

he will not be comprehended

by those in mundane mind 

his divine state will be 

recognized only by those that 

are liberated 

as this is the same 

consciousness always 

o ne 

not high

not low 

not anything 

in between

zero

without qualities

what remains when 

the mind falls away

this is the sage  

not here or there

Saints, Masters, Gurus, Buddhas
from where have you come?
from where do you return?
not here or there are you found
as you are not a mental concept
but living as all
within stillness
that never dies

ordinary consciousness

for the ones that rest within
non-dual consciousness

the light is what is normal

not anything extraordinary

not anything different than anything else 

or separate from anything 

how high up 

or low down can this be

it cannot 

for there is nothing else but this o ne 

a promise ..

Christ put the truth into action
he did not sit like souls
that talk without substance
behind the words
he met none that could
bring him away from the real
as this cannot be
when mind has fallen
never to rise again
he had no enemies within
though outwardly he was put to death
by misguided hands and minds
he did not carry a grudge
or seek revenge
nor did he carry the burden of sorrow
he rose up as spirit
deathless
a messiah
to the ones seeking a way out of the dark
he loved the living beauty
as himself
and watered seeds of knowledge
with his words
that rang of peace and freedom
he was a mystic
and a realized being
a promise to those seekers
that are true
that light will be victorious
and will be what is uncovered
if one remains steady

unburdened

in the time when sages were plentiful
and buddhas roamed about in the beautiful forests
there lived a bright sage by the name of sadhil
he was a light to all in the community
he spoke rich words that set hearts to rest and minds to be quiet
he lived what was real and did not carry a burden on his back
that weighed heavy and brought his stature down
he was a comely lad
and when he spoke his hands moved fluidly as the trees
that swayed in the breeze
one day sadhil came upon some travelers
these travelers were going to a land called shadow
sadhil asked them why they would want to go there
they said that this was the way to their home
sadhil said there is another land called light
where one can live freely without any baggage or collected
false notions of mind
where there is deep abiding peace
that is beyond birth and death
the travelers looked at him aghast and said what does this
have to do with anything
we are accustom to going this way and our home is there
why would we want to go to this land of light that you speak of
we know nothing about it and are not equipped to travel elsewhere
sadhil looked at their packs on their backs and heavy carriages and said
you look very heavily laden with baggage to travel to this land of yours
called shadow
why not leave these things and come to the light
the travelers were dumbstruck by this ...
leave our burden? how could we do this
as this is all we own
how can we discard these things just at a whim and go with you elsewhere
what complete nonsense
this is our lives that we carry with us, and we will keep all of this safe in our home
in the land of shadow
well, said sadhil, you can keep all your baggage if you like and be on your usual way
following your usual route
but i am speaking of a peaceful land that is distinctly different than shadow
where mind will be liberated from suffering eternally..
you are a crazy man said one of the travelers ...
we have never heard of such a place ever and we need to be moving on to take
care of our responsibilities ...
you are speaking in a way that is so very unfamiliar and foreign
we cannot grasp it in the least...
it is true said sadhil, that you cannot grasp what is being said because you have only
experienced shadow
again, the travelers shook their heads in disbelief ...
one of the travelers said, we are going now and do not have any more time to listen
to these words that are very strange ...
please sir, excuse us ...
and the party burdened so greatly, went their way onward to the land of shadow
and sadhil, went his way unburdened and at peace ...
what was to come into his path next was not known and did not matter..
his mind was absorbed in the light always ...
and so he walked onward into the unfolding wonder that is ...


om shanti...

spirit is paramount

the pharisees were against Christ
they did not want his light to be set free and roam
the earth to make others minds and hearts turn towards the good
because if there were change like this then
their world of power and prestige would be upset
this was not acceptable to them
that a man with simple clothes, bearing no weapons of any sort,
only coming with a pure presence
and speaking hauntingly beautiful pure words of truth and freedom
that struck the heart with such grace and potency
could be honored by the people..
was outrageous to a mind saturated in power
and heavy with ego driven ways...
the people of the earth that came to behold Christ's light were
open at first, but heavy with doubt and fear as the word spread
that he was of the dark and would change things for the worst..
inside themselves there was no steadiness to think and feel what was true
and to hold to it no matter the cost..
these ones let fear take over
feeling that something of their well guarded world would be lost
or taken away...  yet all in the transient world is going
no matter how strongly guarded
as Christ personified so beautifully that rising beyond body
and mind is what is paramount and what is to be nourished and regarded
as the most high above everything else
as spirit is that which *lives* eternally...
the rest is decay and shadow...
and not to be cherished within
and attached to...


Christ is such an awesome example of love, courage and light
may this light be revealed within the sincere wanderers
that have within the heart now an ember that is glowing
and will grow high
like a mighty fire, to set the dark to run away...
and never return to this world

precious lights continue forward
in love and blessings...
om shanti

the town called *is* (comment attached)

in a town called *is*

there lived a man who sought to know of something beyond

birth and death

this man regarded himself to be of great prowess

he had a strong physique and felt himself healthy

and of good intellect...

he sold all of his belongings and set out to find the truth

he left behind family, friends, job and all relations 

he resolved to not look back or to come home without 

any knowledge that rang of real

he walked on a path that started right outside his door...

onward he went for awhile on this path
until he encountered a great forest called doubt --

in this forest he was pestered by all kinds of unrest that spoke 

incessantly about what a bad person he was and that maybe he was not
capable of such and awesome undertaking as this...
then immediately this  

was followed by what a good person he had been due to particular good deed 

he had done.. but then no, he was not so good and so on...

and the other familiar rant yammering on about possibly he shouldn't have started out at all--

maybe his family was right that he knew not what he was doing ..

will they accept him when he got back he wondered ..  possibly not 

maybe now he was cast off like an orphan to roam about without a single mooring 

anywhere ..

oh this is not good cried his persona... we have been left alone ..

he walked on heavy with such a great deluge of worry and unrest through this 

forest of doubt...

he slept under a tree that night and felt the shadows fall with the black enveloping his soul

and his sight felt blinded 

his heart was not there in this enshrouded place ...

he twisted and turned about on the hard earth and rose in the morning not refreshed in the least..

he picked up and continued ...

eventually he came across a man wandering in the forest looking very ordinary in his way..

he cast a quick look at him and he felt a bit free with his glance ...

the man smiled an easy smile 

and the seeker very weary said, friend i am in search of that which lies beyond birth and death..

do you know of this place?

the other journeyer said indeed i do for i live within it always...

and this shook this man of great prowess to the core...

well how so do you live in it? for i am right here where you are 

but do not see it ...

the ordinary journeyer laughed and said oh -- you have only just begun my friend ...

once you are free within it matters not where you live or what you are doing ...

the mind is eternally at peace ...

well this was quite a thing to be heard ...

why then sir, is it so very, very hard for me to be at peace when this freedom is right here and now?

for i do not feel free at all.. my mind is in such weariness, heartache and unrest...

tell me dear sir, why is this and how can i be set away from this hell that i am living?

so very strange that we both stand here looking like men and in the same setting 

yet you are at ease and speaking of peace and that is felt well as when i glanced at you

my heart sang and my soul took to a bit of rest ... i felt as if there was a light 

in this great darkness in which i am so accustom...  

how can i be freed and speak as you do sir please say?

stillness pervaded that gentle being as he spoke in his clear voice to say ...

all beings are eternally free in the heart my dear seeker ..

now it is not seen due to your false identification with the body and mental waves that rise and fall

within these waves there is no constancy or anything that can be found that is lasting ..

to attach to these waves is death really (as eternal light is covered over) and so much suffering comes from it that is to have no end...

how then said the seeker shall i get away from this misery that has clung to my heart so strong

and so very all consuming in its way? i follow it like a lost lamb in the dark calling away for 

my mother ... oh pray tell dear wise soul of the heart .. 

your words are like soft rain to a man that has been in a desert for many an era...

i am so drowned in the mess that i have made apparently ....
as you say it is i that has misidentified 

myself with this body and passing phases of mind and by doing so created a world of overpowering shadow... 

how then to disentangle please say now and i will go there ...

the first thing is to not pay attention to the thoughts and body as they are mere shadows that follow

the course of nature ..
changing, coming and going, rising and sinking ...  

be quiet and watch them as if set apart like a light that shines them up only...

my master told me to stay well away from the body and mind as if like an outcast that is to not be touched .. this was very hard at first for the being had been so soaked into this field of 

thinking i am the body and mind and it takes on a life of its own.....

so very hard to move away from, yet it must be done sincere seeker for otherwise you are drowned in 

its false spell that may seem innocent at times..
but this is indeed where it pulls you in like wolf in sheeps clothing ...
be aware of this attachment dear seeker of o ne ... 

next be honest always and forthright in character ..
true in all your dealings and ways in the world...

stay detached in all things, yet keep the heart open ...  

also, here is a mantra to say that points to the o ne reality**brahman**say it with devotion and great care
this will aide to dissolve the mind into the o ne reality that is eternal..
though you do not know of this o ne heart yet friend say the mantra like you believe in it
and feel it in you and all about, do not say it as mere rote ...

or this energy will waste away and only lead to empty repetition...

rest in the heart and have faith in the o ne ...

for it lies within yourself and nowhere else.... 

do not be afraid to be alone for this is the best way ...

dear one seek good company and if that is not there, nature is your companion and it will never, ever put you out ....  

dear wise soul, you have made it sound so simple,
but now it feels so very, very arduous and mixed with so many emotions .....
i am a bit lost right now ... yet underneath it all, your words are felt and penetrating 

in a way that is not understood by me...

wise soul, this strong urge to be out of suffering is simmering under the waves of the world i thought i knew ..
i feel unable to not pay attention there as it haunts my very being so..

dear seeker, this is because you are made as whole and eternal...
the disharmony within is telling that you are not right in identifying yourself with the false ..
the pull you feel is there because the light is in you and inherently draws one in ...
if it is disregarded then one suffers...
if it is heeded (it is still very hard) 

but in the end freeing if followed to its full completion...
then no suffering and all is set right...

hearty journeyer you must have great strength and courage now...
not strength of body, but of soul and heart...
this is not something that can be built like muscles...
it is more a breaking down of the barriers that have been held up to hide from pure life ... 

this is what true courage is friend .. 

yes wise guide .. how opposite this is than what i thought before...
for i felt i must struggle with these waves and push them aside or down to win over ..

now what you say in a way i have no power at all and what is asked now is to give over what was known as *my* power to a the greater intelligence that is not of my personal world ...

oh i am really nothing it feels ..

how very deflating to a man that is built on body and mental intellect ...

what a hard blow to this me...

yet i see you here wise light looking so much of a whole being and in fine form and frame ...

free as you say and i do feel you are true in my being...

oh my this is not easy precious guide...

no it is not, said the guide...
but this attachment and hearty ego you speak of is not your friend .. it is false and unreal

so as to keep you captive in a haunting world of separation...

well dear seeker you can always stay there where you are at...  

oh no quickly interrupted the seeker.. my soul is in great unrest now and i do not want any more of it...

what about my family and friends?...are they now not a part of my world?

am i to cast them out of my heart like they never were?
spoke the guide --the bible says one must turn away from the world which includes family and friends....  one must detach from that life (within themselves) for it keeps the soul bound to body and mind...
though this has been the way of all those within monastic life, it does not mean one needs to hide away from the world, but to let go of all inner attachments...  

the bible says follow me ...  follow the truth no matter what it calls for ...

one is not saying that responsibilities are to be cast aside when in the thick of it --

if you have put into motion a family with young children still needing to be reared then one finishes this job and then it is up to the soul where to take the journey from there ...

but know that without full detachment there will never be full realization .. not ever...

all that have come to be in truth and light have renounced the world and never returned there
the freed soul then lives in the world but not of it...
a radically different consciousness than those caught within mundane mind...
okay, said the seeker
this is what is needed and i am now in a position to leave it all..

where are you going now master? how can i find you?

i cannot say where i will land dear wanderer of the way..

but you have what is needed to complete, and now my heart is bound to yours in sincerity, light and love as we are the same truth within...

you will travel thru many different countries ..
some will ring of great unrest and some of divine light ..

keep going precious seeker until all thoughts are cleared and only the non-dual o ne remains ..

you will know it undoubtedly when it is uncovered ...

the last stop however is the town of death...

oh my shuddered the seeker ... how horrid that sounds

the wise soul laughed greatly and said do not be afraid...

and then he took to his feet and left....
the man in search of light looked about and took a deep breath of release...
he felt quite a bit sturdier within as he knew that his call to freedom was true and held great value ...
his reminiscing for the life he left behind continued to rise and fall like waves
sometimes it was all consuming ...
sometimes like a soft glow in the background...
doubts still haunted and pestered.. angel and devil voices chimed in ... random, senseless thoughts continued to rise and fall ..
but he continued to ponder this surrender thing and detached from the body and used the mantra in devotion and love...
he journeyed on for so many, many days it seemed like
as a one shorn of his homeland and like a one that knew not where he belonged
as his life of before seemed so very distant like a dream in the mist ...
he set it aside like he was told and slept in the open air...
breathing the smell of the earth, listening to the rustling of creatures and watching the shadows fall..
onward he went ..
his heart was light somedays and ridden with haunting shadows and doubts other days...
 he returned always to the mantra...  drinking in its vibration and watching the glory of natures wonders ... so very welcoming and open like a sweet fragrance of Gods creation
it felt unreal to him at times, this beautiful gift of nature
the blossoming wonders, rich greens and sweet earthy smells fresh from rain or warm with sunlight ..
he was lost there sometimes and then back came mind again...
then he came to a valley called expanse...this looks nice he thought...
things felt a bit easier and restful... thoughts were there, but did not feel so pressing down and haunting
kind of like riding a wave easily,
rather than the heavy current of mind constantly pushing against the being so as to say -- look at me! listen to me!
he breathed a bit easier and sat awhile in happiness that was very refreshing ...
so simple he thought this beautiful moment...
still there was unrest looming underneath like a bobbing thing that went under and rose up again when the conditions were ripe --
on and on like this he went...
then he came to a place that felt different also,
his mind seemed calmer and lit up with insight ...
he felt like a being at the center  of a web with strands reaching outward where all was connected and appeared harmonious and filled with love
okay, now i have finally arrived he thought ... i am very holy and special indeed...
i am one with all things and have never not been...
i am quite a light .. i am a teacher,
i am  a one filled with wonder as the earth and stars and heavens and all things glorious...
i have drunk deeply of the clear waters and sunny pastures of the universe ..
what a free soul i am and how much i have to say now about it ....
i am to be known for my way of speaking clear and deeply insightful vision that is so very high up...
look at me now, such a treasure trove of wisdom...
he felt he had arrived and continued to reflect on all that he had gained and suffered and just how
amazing of a soul and seeker he was ...
and just how much others would see this too...
he sat in this way for oh so long friends, very reluctant to leave this land of ego pleasure..
eventually however the clouds came back and the sea began to rock within
and his heart did not seem so rested in his own method of feeling things to be within harmony and light
fortunately in the depths of this view he was swept up by ...
a kernel of sense remained to see that he had not paid attention at all  to his guides wise words
that said one is not done until *all* thoughts are gone and the last town is the town of *DEATH*..
death came up to him this way in his mind *BIG* and looming above so as to say .. yes, you cannot bypass me .. though you gave it a good shot indeed
still there is no completion without passing thru me (the town of *DEATH*)....
well he wondered if he had sat here so long so as to avoid this part...
oh my how deluded mind can be and got up and shook his head about and sighed a deep sigh as he knew he was not done and needed to continue into the land of death ---
onward he went and now he knew enough to not be taken in by *any story* no matter how good it sounded...
he had learned this lesson in a very hard way...
as he had lost so much time swept up in this world of fantasy...
soon enough this place called death shown up in the distance ...
oh, there it is said his persona... what to do .. go forward, go back...
he did not know really for it felt so very real not as a dream or a projection anymore ...
and he breathed and said let the worst come and be over with...
for i feel so very weary
like a soul caught as a deer in a trap with barely a breath of life left, not fully dying
and not full living ..
Lord of my soul this is not where i want to stay
may you do what you must
and he kept going
and he sank into this haunting shadow that was the most frightening of all fears and the most horrifying
shadow that looms in all mental waters ...
and he shook to the bone at the barren feel of it
like all that was known to him was to be lost forever..
his body, mind -- the whole thing ..
so real and palpable was this feeling and there was nothing he could do as he was helpless to its strength and power and then out he went...
gone to himself...
when his consciousness awakened to the appearance of the world
all was radically changed
the dual world he knew before was rinsed clean and what was revealed was the o ne SELF of all...
so completely peaceful and at rest
so very gentle like calm waters ...
the past never happened, the future had no reality ...
beyond birth and beyond death was this pure consciousness
there were no thoughts about it
only peace, beauty and all consuming non-dual pristine awareness remained
he wasn't sure where he was at first, but then within his awareness he recognized his surroundings and knew that he was in the town called *is* ... as if he never left...
was there ever a journey?  did he ever leave this place?
my what a dream he had been lost in...
well friends his family was rather indifferent about the whole thing and barely noticed anything had changed ...
what happened next ...
this beautiful light took to his feet and walked on into the open lands
singing of pure presence and light wherever he was ..
not two,  not two...

om shanti

joy undivided...

*i have been*, *i am this now*, *i will be*...
what a false barren stream this is...
lay it down to rest on the fields of dreams that are like
empty shells to blow with the winds ...
for no sweet fruit will blossom from these desires
to be more of this or less of that ...
friends,
this only fuels the fires of ego and its haunting ways
there is nothing that ego can give that is real
as its passions need to be  tamed
reigned in like an unruly creature
and put back away from the flow of pure grace...
then clarity and discrimination can begin to dawn...
with this said
surrender is the only way...
there is nothing that you have done right or wrong
that is related in the least to the pure core that lies
within the heart...
and even the most *holy* being will not awaken to
the truth if the persona is still at the center. ...
what is needed is a cutting thru of the polarities of mental waves
this is what will open to the light
and the knowing that there is no
validity to any mental story (no matter how holy or unholy it may appear)
not one drop of it rings as real...
so beloved sons and daughters of the way...
be still and rest easily as an open minded one that
is not content with feeling the world is a certain way
or that the being is locked into a certain cage of identity...
this is so false
be a dove on the branches of shadow
that purity that rests ever still and within all ..
not externalized to be made into some-thing...
this is not what God intended you to be
as God is true complete happiness and joy undivided
freely flowing..
and your being has been made the same...
not-different...
love be still now
and live this moment
always
sat chit ananda...

renunciate vows...

poverty, chastity and obedience

these are the basic vows observed within monastic life

that are to be fully honored if one is a renunciate

poverty truly points to emptiness of attachment to the world

which means to lay down the feeling of ownership within 

as well as the feeling of pride and vanity...

it does not necessarily mean having no physical possessions

although this is an outward flow at times of this vow

as within the traditional sadhu life 

this one owned not a thing and roamed the earth

bare, naked, completely free of possessions...

what is being spoken of here however is an inward letting go...

chastity, symbolic of purity (which includes celibacy)...   

is maintaining a clean inner reality and outward action that is in alignment

with the vows...   

as well as honoring the basic precepts of honesty, transparency and integrity..

celibacy is an essential of monastic living as to be without it 

solidifies bodily attachment and desire 

which is directly opposed to the purpose of renunciation 

as this signifies going beyond body and the worldly ways..

obedience indicates surrender or giving over to truth..

it does not mean to follow along blindly ..

but to yield to the light (of Gurus wisdom) without resistance and 

arguments (nothing more, nothing less)

these fundamental vows it seems have been very misinterpreted

and under appreciated for what they are...

though they may seem stringent to some...

they are truly the foundation to moving forward free of the body/mind complex

and an absolute essential of the renunciate life...  

om shanti