the sage of arunachala - unbroken in quietude...

the sage of arunachala

when he left home

he was young and did not know 

the roads to where he was going 

he journeyed forward and rested in the streets 

or in the caves when they showed up to him

he let his mind be absorbed in brahman

and surrendered to grace as the guiding light 

without resistance 

when he came to arunachala he found a cave

to sleep in and laid down 

when he slept his mind continued unbroken in

quietude 

and though he slept he was fully awake 

and when he awoke he was not awake like others 

that were in mundane mind 

that looked to find the identity immediately 

and knit together a persona and knit together 

a map of the day with memories and the like 

he was awake yet asleep to the world 

not there in it 

but silent in peace that was non-dual

he lived this way 

moment to moment 

breath to breath 

day to day

year to year 

without ever coming out of it

the sage of arunachala

was not to go back home 

even when his mother came to him 

and begged him on her knees to come back 

and live with his family

he did not 

which did not mean he felt no love for his mother 

it meant his immersion in truth 

left no attachments to the world 

he was within deep quietude and living on his mountain 

that was Shiva 

and there was not another place to be 

that would call to him

and so his mother grief stricken saw that this young 

man was not to be persuaded and she left 

but returned later to her son 

to be near him until the end of her life 

the sage of arunachala

was not changed when death approached 

his body skin and bones 

and in great pain

he remained without veering from his absorption

in the absolute reality 

he was not in fear or wondering what is to happen next

he knew he was not the body that was 

inherently to decay away and pass 

he was pure spirit that was eternal

he continued to let his devotees near and gave darshan

with great love and compassion in his eyes 

the same pure *being* present without waver 

his last words said were that "they say that i am dying, 

but i am not going away. where could i go? 

i am here. i am here."

true inside

a man that carries no burden

he is a man that is true inside 

he does not reflect on what he has done 

or has not done 

he does not live in a dream that speaks 

of the many 

he does not create something from nothing 

he does not forget his heart

he does not believe he is limited 

he does not believe he is of the body 

he does not believe he is as a separate being 

he knows he is all pervading perfection of reality 

he knows he is all consuming truth and joy

he knows he is without name and face in reality 

he knows he is as shiva in majesty and still waters 

he knows he is as shiva in pure light and glory

he knows he is as shiva in the cave of the heart 

he knows he is like the lingum uncreated 

he knows he is like the lingum seated in the yoni, the same 

as shakti, not two, not two

he knows he is like the lingum, unborn and prior to the story

he knows he is like the center of the yantra, unmoving and still

he knows he is like the center of the yantra, without colorizations 

he knows he is like the still, unmoving void, full and of pure life 

he knows he is like the muni, internally quiet

he knows he is like the rishi, the far seer that does not know 

and yet knows all

he knows he is like the sadhu that is purified without attachment
to form and free of mental waves 

he knows he is like the pure waters of ganga  that take all in without discrimination

he knows he is like the pure waters of  ganga that does not complain internally whether in turbulence 

or calm

he knows he is like the soundless void that is not to rise and fall

he knows he is like the soundless emptiness that is not to rise and fall

he knows he is like the soundless presence that is not to rise and fall

he knows he is like the soundless perfection that is not to rise and fall

he knows he is like the pure potential that gives rise to the fragrance of appearance 

he knows he is like the pure potential that has not been stained by experience 

he knows he is like the pure potential that has not been stained by the body 

he knows he is himSELF without the coverings 

and has not ever been the body or mind 

or dream 

he know he is the supreme SELF always

this is the man that is true inside

Guruji (a great light)

she came to be out of suffering

and shed of the false ways 

that robbed the mind of the light 

she came to find the knowing 

beyond all knowledge

when she came 

there was little in the way of writing

of kundalini

there was only a book or two 

to help bring understanding and these 

were not good teachings 

as they came from minds that were still 

in suffering 

so she could not find true guideance 

for a long, long time 

she kept her mind on the possibility of 

being free 

yet did not know when the whole thing 

would end 

or how it would play out 

yet she continued forward

and this was not easy at all

for what came from her life was mud

from past choices 

and this was to sit thick for many a day and 

year

the mud of family drama

the mud of seeking another to love and to be loved 

the mud of wanting to find something in the world 

that would put the ache to rest 

and stop the thoughts that ran about 

onward she went through these scenes 

and many times falling hard 

and up again 

driven by the winds of the desire to be free 

and the fruits of her efforts from lifetimes 

sometimes blossoming 

and then falling back into the darkness 

not seen or felt 

yet she kept on 

when the time came to leave her home and go to india 

in search of a Guru

she went alone

not knowing what or how it will all unfold 

she went 

taking herself only 

scared? yes!

but on she went into the unknown land 

that was very foreign and also dangerous 

for a woman traveling alone 

she found little at first 

much masquerading of truth 

and much false ways and dishonorable 

actions 

but finally came upon a man that seemed 

to be sincere in heart 

and she came to find him to be her Guru

now there is much more to this story that is quite 

beautiful and of grace 

but this is the main feeling 

and he was a stern man 

and did not let one word slip by that was 

out of line with what a seeker should say to 

a Guru

he would give a look that burned the soul 

and singed the heart 

and made one shut up 

this was done without delay

and so this was her Guru

during this time much came forward 

in the way of deep direct insights 

and openings and understandings 

and blossomings and falling away

yet still not the end that was sought

one night she was laying in bed 

and knew she was not the mind 

and sat straight up in bed 

saying "i am not those things!!"

this direct knowing was to stay with her 

but still the mind moved here and there 

there was during this time 

a very graceful contemplation that came forward 

about the pure SELF 

that was delicate and yet powerful 

majestic and very much capable of 

breaking down the mental energies of mind 

this came forward spontaneous as anything 

then what happened was that she shared 

some of her writing with her Guru and he 

spoke to her strongly about it 

as she should be in full understanding 

to write this ...

well she was very proud of her writing and this 

was a blow to ego indeed 

and mind had some things to say about it 

and then she went still and mute for 3 days 

due to the strong shock of this 

she continued to move forward 

with her Guru giving satsang as she 

gave service in the best way possible 

and mostly she was quiet about it 

most grateful for what was given 

she was not with her 

Guru long 

she entered realization on the banks of the ganges 

and after this 

the world she thought she knew had vanished 

without a trace to remain

the *me* had been dissolved 

and there was only remaining a rich, still presence

that has not wavered for many years 

her Guru questioned her on this in which she 

answered his questions perfectly 

and he gave her the Ashtavakra Gita to read which 

was to confirm her state of consciousness 

and he told her to go forward as a Guru 

and that my friend is just a snippet of the story

of our dear Guruji 

she is a great light for all that have ears to hear 

and eyes to see...

she has risen up from the mud of great suffering 

and tapasya

and what remains is the light of truth 

a great blessing for humanity indeed

the water well

go to the water well friend,

and see your reflection there

do you hear it calling to you?

how can this be?

for you are only one 

and this one is not to speak at all

but is silent in it's essence 

where is this other that is speaking? 

nowhere at all...

uncreated

wait friend 

look!

the sea is alive in it's beauty and glory 

can you see it 

as the SELF? 

so majestic and untainted 

so mysterious 

made of suchness 

ripe and sweet 

oh my friend 

taste of it here 

and see for yourself this 

uncreated life 

so very precious and 

forgetting of the world 

and it's sorrow 

make it yours 

and seek the true soul in the heart 

make it yours to be revealed 

and live in it 

live in the sea of all

seeing of the heart..

pure sight is of the soul truly

for the physical eyes see the world 

of plurality 

this is when one is to look with the heart 

and not differentiate this from that 

but stay inside where the world 

does not intrude 

in this calm quiet there is another 

seeing entirely 

that is still and within aloneness 

not as a form of diversity 

can you rest still in the heart

and see what is being said?

a man said that he is the body 

and then the world appeared in 

great waves 

as phenomena and diverse forms 

and all sorts of appearances 

a man said 

that he is spirit in body

and he was accepting that heaven 

would be an eventuality if 

he was good and 

did not turn away from the words 

of the masters 

a man knew himself as beyond body and mind 

and here there is a distinctly different reality 

that is not to die or be reborn

for what other is there to await 

when there is simply

this whole perfect being

and nothing else ever existed?

the sage of arunachala

the sage of arunachala
when he was young
would go to the temple and
look at the photos on the wall
of the saints and mystics
he was very attracted to their
stainless life of devotion, surrender
and quietude
he would stay many hours looking
and looking
without moving
as he was drawn in his heart towards
the final end of liberation
he was drawn to the pure waters of truth
he was drawn to the peace that
passes all understanding

the sage of arunachala

came to the mountain that was Shiva to him 

because he was pulled there
by grace 

he came and lived by the mountain

and regarded it as the light of all

for him this mountain was his focus 

of surrender and love and joy

he walked about it daily and 

sat upon it and 

loved it in his heart as the SELF

this is what a man of seeking is to find 

also 

the divine state of truth

and love that with his heart and soul

like nothing else exists 

it is not like a love that is conditioned 

and hemmed in by attachments to form 

it is a love that is not of the *other* but 

in the heart as one 

the sage of arunachala
lived by himself on the mountain
and did not speak for many, many days
he stayed in silence in himself
he did not move out of stillness
not for any disturbance such as heat and cold
thirst and hunger..
he lived in a cave and almost wasted away
with mosquitoes torturing his skin
and with no food or covering for his body
then a man found him and helped him
he began to take nourishment
and slowly speak about the truth
which was said by him
non-dual, eternally present
and of pristine silence
he spoke in eloquence to what is real
and he lived this way
here for humanity to find rest and joy within
though he would have been happy just being
on his mountain that he loved
he was brought to where the devotees
could be near him
and stayed there in the ashram
he was completely
content with only the SELF
wherever he was
his mind
eternally absorbed in brahman

Ashtavakra - a sage unbroken in spirit...

Ashtavakra was born to a man
of extreme arrogance
while his mother was carrying him,
she would listen to Hindu scripture
with great rapture
due to this, her son to be
appeared to be very wise
in understanding of scripture,
even while in the womb
he would rouse and move
when he heard spiritual texts
being discussed
and when his father spoke wrongly
of a particular writing of the Vedas
he squirmed in a way that was not comfortable
for his mother
which expressed to his father
that he was wrong
this enraged this man of arrogance
and he
cursed his son while he was still
just a fetus
which made him to be born deformed
and crooked
(which is what Ashtavakra means - *broken
in eight places*)
his father did not put energy of love and light
towards his son
he went about shut inside himself
locked in his cage of mind like a man
that was of great airs and pride and
egotistical ways ...
one day, Ashtavakra's father was challenged
in a debate for great philosophers
his father lost the debate and because of this
was immersed under water by his opponent
Ashtavakra did not know this about his father
as he was very young at the time
and had always thought another man
he lived with was his father
Ashtavakra was not be dampened in spirit
by what took place on the outside
be it good or bad however
as he remained inward in his looking
from a very young age
and within him grew a great fire that burned to know
himself beyond the form that was
so very uncomely and hard to bear
he went about his day with decrepitude and
hunched over,  unable to pull his body along
easily
yet he managed to get by with great efforts
he did not let his thoughts sink into feeling
sorry for himself
for he had long journey to go within and he needed
his strength for this alone
he sought solace with his mother
she was to raise him with love and joy
(though he was not a baby that she expected)
she took him to her heart in love
as any mother would
she sorrowed for this boy however that
was so bent over and crippled
sometimes she would find him alone
looking up at the sky in wonder
other times she would find him
sitting under the spreading trees in the wooded
yard with his eyes closed in deep meditation
she also would see him look out over the heavens
or set his eyes on nothing and they would look
hollow and empty
this in some ways worried her, but she let it go
for this boy needed to find comfort somewhere
he was not to be taken in by the flock of boys
she saw playing in the streets with straight legs
leaping and shouting about in glee
while kicking a rock or
throwing a stick or whatever youngsters do
that gives them pleasure in the way of moving
and roaming about...
she tried to not worry about any of this for she
felt in her heart this boy was unusual in a spiritual way
and he would come through this misery of form
somehow...
one day,  Ashtavakra was in the forest
he heard a voice
it said, "come near child"..
and he went near to where the voice emanated
he found himself near a fountain that grew high
and left sprays of water on his face and form
he went closer and felt the water, cooling as it was,
dripping down his cheeks and falling on his shoulders
and on down to his feet
where the water sunk into the earth
with this came another voice so very
soft
and he had to strain to hear it..
but he did hear it
it said, "my child, you are born weak and not sturdy..
do not be upset by this
because you are to come out of it
if you stay in your heart and stay calm and quiet
you will be a sage of great clear vision
and understanding"
the boy was not sure what to think of this
he did not say anything, but looked about at the beauty
of the water falling in sprays about his awkward, twisted form
then he went back home and said to his mother
"mother, i heard a voice today that said i was to be a sage."
his mother said, "my dear boy, you must be hearing the voice of the wind
-- this happens sometimes in the woods... it is not anything to take as real"
"now get ready for bed and i will come tuck you in."
so he went to bed and fell asleep promptly after such a long day..
he fell into a deep dream
in which he went to the water to look at the waves
when he arrived there he felt a great swell of a wave come forward
and he saw in the water his father's face --
it was in great distress and horror...
he said, "father, what do you need?"
his father said, "son i have lost myself here in the waves and am sinking fast --
i will drown and die if you do not help me"
Ashtavakra went into the water immediately and pulled his father from the ocean
with all of his might as if he was made of strong bones and muscle
and he pulled him out and set him on the shore
then Ashtavakra took his fathers hands and said, "father i am so sad that you were lost like this --
i am so happy to see you face and hear your voice now"
"i want so much to tell you something, can you hear it?"
and his father said, "yes"
i want to tell you that i know i am not well in body, but i am very well in my soul".
and his father looked at him with tears of joy swelling in his eyes...
when he woke up from the dream he felt there was something missing that he did not know
he did not know about who truly his father was
when he did come to find out the man he was living with
was indeed not his father
and heard the true story of his father
he went to the great king Janaka and sought out the man that had challenged
his father in a debate and had banished him to the river to be drowned
to be let into the king's quarters, Ashtavakra showed great
powers of intellect and understanding of the non-dual texts
then his request to confront this man he sought out was granted
Ashtavakra defeated this man easily with his bright swift intellect and easy way of
coming forward with the answers
Ashtavakra's father was set free due to this winning ...
and he came to
see his son as a great soul of light and wisdom
and due to his father's love and reverence for his son,
he asked him to go and bathe in the sacred waters
so the curse could be removed..
Ashtavakra took his form into the sacred river, and went down deep where he
could not breathe..
and went into a deep meditation...
when he came out of it, he was completely new in body
he walked out of the river and walked straight as any man that was healthy
he was broad shouldered and upright in his gate
he walked in a beautiful fluid manner with a clear mind and heart
it felt very unusual to have a form that moved well and easily
but this truly mattered not to him
because he knew he was eternally beyond form
his consciousness abided in deep, unshakeable stillness
he moved on to his house that he lived and said "i am home."
and his mother came to greet him with great open eyes and immense surprise
and said, "my son, what happened?" "you are well and in full form and strength."
Astavakra said, "yes mother, i am very well and within eternal peace."
his mother said, "my boy, how very joyful for you. i am so very happy that you are here
in perfection of health and spirit."
and his father stood by in happiness that his son was with him
and that his form had been restored and that he radiated
such deep peace within..
Astavakra continued on to speak with great eloquence and power to the non-dual perfection of the pure soul.
he did not use one non essential word in his writings that were
to the point and yet so very majestic and beautiful in the way of conveying the
purity and non-dual nature of the SELF --
he was a great soul indeed and by his example
rose above the handicaps of body and mind --
to be a great light to humanity --

in the center of the wheel..

let us contemplate this effulgent awareness
that is the most glorious
that is made of pristine waters
and undivided suchness
that has not a name or a face
but is pure presence in itself
that comes not
that goes not
that is filled with divinity
and unclouded vision
that makes no claim on anything
yet lives equally in all hearts

let us contemplate this all
and stay centered as the wheel turns
and turns
without moving out into the whirl of it all
and come to this moment free
come to this undying perfection
that is stainless and unburdened
that is filled with pure life and
nothing else
that has not known personal experience
that is not of *i and mine*
that is the nature of chit
that is the nature of perfection
that is the nature of love and light
with nothing added or taken away

let us contemplate this all
that is what the sages sing of
as happiness unveiled
that has raised up the soul
in the way of giving life
and breath to move forward
into clear waters
that gives of itself as pure potential
to make of this life
a one of great existence
and awesome beauty
that does not seek anything
but simply lives
this one that is all
let us contemplate

living waters

the sadhu in the morning light
goes to bathe in the ganges
where he sets his coverings on the bank
he goes in naked and
does not look back at the steps
that lead into the world
he takes his form into the rushing waters
and sinks down deep where there is
simply the beauty of the absolute
he then
puts his head in the water
like a baptism
that sheds the impurities of
worldly attachments that
he has come to know
and he allows the waters to
take away from him his burden
that has been heavy to his soul
he does not resist the waters
for this is what his soul is made
of in truth
purity
and he is to be made unto this light
the sadhu has put to rest his
personal world
this is not his anymore
nor was it ever
he puts it down into the earth
at the bottom of the water
to be carried away with the current
for his personal life is not at all real truly
it is what has taken him somewhere else
out to the land of shadows
what then is he to do now
that his mind is purified in grace?
he does nothing at all
simply lives free without the false ways
he lives as a man that is pure
in mind and heart
he lives like a sage of beauty
he is light
and joy and truth
what else can he be?
when the ground is entered
for there is nowhere else to go

the sadhu that enters the waters of ganga
has within a burning desire for freedom
he is a man of desire
that is of only *one* desire
not many that are pulling him in opposite directions
he burns to know the truth
as a one that is thirsty and hungry
and trembling inside with the desire to know
and to be free of what it is that is unwell in heart and mind
he is a seeker of heart
not a seeker of the world and heart
this cannot be steady
it is to make a man wobbly on his feet and in his
mind because one cannot walk in two directions at once
he is a man that is on ONE road only
to the truth
he comes into the waters and dies there to the light
this is why his initiation is like his funeral truly
because he is not to return to his old life of mundane
experience in which he was a such and such
with a name and role and all of that
he is now a sadhu which is nameless and not
of an identity that can be put in a box anymore
so he merges with the waters of the divine
as if he was the *offering*
he *is* the offering
his attachment to body and mind are what are to go to the waters
and be dissolved there (within the light)
the sadhu then walks away into the world
but is not of it
he places his feet on the earth
and walks into the lands of the transient way
but he is not any more within the changing tides
his being is still and absorbed always in quietude

so this my friends is the way of the sadhu
that is sincere
it is not different than one the comes into the light
within and is surrendered in heart and mind
it is the living waters within
that will clean the mind of dross
and purify the soul
it is the living waters within that will drown
the separation
and so onward now
without the baggage and the thoughts that say
i am not good enough or right enough to go into
the waters
it is these thoughts that will block you from your
pure self
for there are none that cannot enter
only the heart and mind are to be purified
with honesty and good character
and steady ways --
this will bear fruit in time
for sure
but for now go on and love what is here
be in love with the pure soul
that is so fresh
be in love with this moment
and go on

Milarepa, a great yogi

Milarepa was a young man that lived a life

that was not virtuous 

he went about lying and stealing and even murdering 

he spared none from his angry tongue 

which sliced his fellow men to the bone with his 

rough words that spoke in low ways 

that sent them to feel ashamed and heated with anger 

he lived like a man that was not in honesty in the least 

and he did not stop for a long time 

this kind of behavior 

even though his world was in ruins and 

ashes 

a life that could not be rebuilt easily or 

made to be set on a good foundation again 

due to his actions 

he lived this way for many a day and dark night 

and his soul was very consumed with hate and ill feelings 

he did not have a friend on the earth 

he did not have a soul that trusted him

he lived alone in a barren place in the foothills of india

and hid his soul from the light 

because he was a man that was prideful and was not 

to begin to question himself 

until one day when he was walking along and saw a sage 

that was doing siddha yoga with fire 

this fire appeared out of nowhere and lit up the space they 

both sat and Milarepa's eyes grew wide and he thought, 

wow, this is amazing and seems to be out of the ordinary

there must be some other force working that moves things of 

the heavens and earth

and he sat with this awhile and then walked on until he came across

another sage that was sitting in the forest 

this being was absorbed in himself and glowed fully

he did not seem of this world in the way of being 

caught up in thoughts of past and future or of himself 

but empty it seemed 

so Milarepa sat down and stayed a long time by him

until the sage finally came out of it and said

young man you are here because you have done wrong

you have been within evil, destructive ways and now seek 

to know something other

this is very sad that you have been destructive to life 

in the way you have 

you have a great debt to pay to the universe for this rain 

of violence and sorrow you have left in your wake 

you will repay the universe by building a great structure 

for any that want to stay 

this is what you will do, so go and do it 

Milarepa was caught very off guard by this and he said 

you want me to go build a structure with nothing 

no tools, no study, no labor, only me?

this is what i said to you spoke the sage 

now go, and do not say another word or you will be 

made to be out of my sight for all of this life and then some 

Milarepa shook in himself when the sage said he would be 

banished from his presence if he did not obey his words 

he shook terribly inside at the daunting task before him

but he knew in himself that he was in dire straits as far 

as choices now 

for he could return to his former life and be a recluse

sought out by those that he harmed and eventually 

killed or tortured 

or he could do what the sage told him to do 

which seemed to him now equally hard

but maybe there would be a different outcome at the end 

so he stood up with nothing but his body and thin clothes he 

was wearing and walked away into the heat of the afternoon sun

with this great task before him looming heavy and seeming 

impossible 

he slept on the ground in the hot air with bugs and ants 

and mosquitoes pestering him continuously 

and dreamed of a great gate that was open in the night air

very still looking on the other side 

yet so very dark and unknown to him 

he was compelled to look and go closer and when he did 

he came up to the bars and they were hot to his hands and 

burned him badly and scorched his skin to the bone and he shook 

inside and then he walked thru and found that he was in 

a place of great rest and peace and joy

and he felt like he was not as he was 

just within deep stillness

he looked behind him and the gate was gone from his sight 

and then he woke up to the nightmare of his life 

and said, i wish that i could return there instead 

for i am now a man that is powerless over what is before me to do 

i have no way of understanding what is happening 

nor do i know how i will go about this task 

nor do i know if i will complete it 

nor do i know what will happen if i do complete it 

and i do not know anything at all, thought he 

i am stripped of my understanding of what is to come 

oh dear he said and sat and thought and thought 

when the sun came up 

he walked on into the vast land so hot and dry

so to the bone it set deep in and he was parched with thirst

he found a few sticks and began to build a foundation for a house 

and he found a few more and a few more 

and then he found a few rocks and some earth 

and then he found a bit of water in a sunken place in the earth 

that had contained some rain from a few days back and he soaked his clothes 

and wrung out the water onto the earth

and patted it dry 

and kept on like this 

and kept on 

until there was a little room built that seemed to resemble the 

coming together of a house 

he slept in it and got up and continued 

he ate berries and dry earth and leaves that he found 

he was emaciated and parched and kept going 

then he felt finally that maybe he was done with his task 

and he sat back and looked and yes it did look a bit like a house 

he thought 

okay, so i will go back and tell the sage about it and he will say

good job son, you are now done and on your way

and he returned to the sage that was sitting in quietude and said

dear sir, i have finished the task you gave me, now what am i to do?

would you like to see it?

and the sage did not even open his eyes and said, no -- tear it down now ..

Milarepa was floored and said, what? 

tear it down, said the sage 

and do not speak to me again or i will have you out of my life for all eternity 

i will not want to look upon you ever again, now go...

Milarepa went off on his way, completely floored and exhausted 

looking like skin and bones and dry flesh that was wasting away

he went back to the house he built with his hands and heart 

and tore it down every bit of it ...

he sat on the dry earth and cried and cried with his head in his hands 

he trembled and shook and swore and cursed and everything that could be 

said that made him vent his frustration and sorrow he said...

he was told by his sage later to build another house and tear it down 

and another and another and another 

and then he was sent to live in solitude by himself and sit many, 

many hours in quiet meditation 

in the caves where there was not a soul around but himself 

and he sat and he sat and he sat.....

until milarepa finally broke through his cage of mind 

and entered beautitude and undying perfection

he became a light in the very same life that he took lives

by slaughter and dark ways
and he went on to be a very honored yogi
for humanity with his bright words that rested in stillness
and pointed always to the importance of surrender to Guru
and steady efforts...
he was very much of an example of a man that pulled himself
out of the debris of his  dark past
and rose above it as a light
to be seen then as a blessing for all that came near him..

can you just be?

where are you to sit in the garden

that is in full bloom? 

i cannot say 

for you are here to take something away?

or have you come with an offering?

there is nothing to give to this perfection

my dear, what is better is to just sit and be 

yet how unfamiliar this is 

not really

as it is your true being 

not anything apart from you

so can you come into the garden that is 

in it's glory

and sit 

just sit and be? 

where are you to be in the garden?

under the tree there is great shade for you

and by the pond a nice bench to sit on 

and over by the porch some stairs to climb

with a great chair that is comfortable 

you can sit there if you choose 

but where will you be in your mind? 

out roaming elsewhere?

or will you be here enjoying the beauty of the moment?

will you be in the garden?

or somewhere else?

when you come into the garden that is in full bloom

do you smell the fine fragrance about?

how lovely is the smell of lilac and herb

and rosemary

how very glorious is the smell of fresh earth

and wonderful deep green life 

it is fine like this indeed 

and it is made in joy

like all else that is of nature 

can you feel it in yourself as all?

my dear 

can you?

when you come into the garden in full bloom

set your bags by the gate 

do not bring them in to this precious life 

that is eternal

because if you do, there will be no presence 

that is pure 

there will be a heavy way 

and this cannot be real

so be free when you enter 

and leave *your things* 

by the gate 

so that your heart is light and in love 

and in the consciousness that is of fullness 

and sweet life 

that is one 

fresh air of truth

the nature of reality
is what remains as light
when the coverings that are attached to
dissolve
this is what the sages speak of
it is not like a truth that is to come to
a particular individual
not at all
it is like a truth that is open and vast
and within universal knowledge
that has no personhood within it
like the sun above the play of the world
it is like this
if one is to be within this glory
it is said to go forward like a man that is
felt to be drowning and
to take a breath is the only way to feel life again
the breath is the fresh air of non-dual reality
there is nothing comparable that will bring peace and joy
nothing can be anything close to this peace
because there is nothing *other* within it
it is the *ground* of being
it is uncreated, indivisible, not tainted, not able to be destroyed
it is the true nature of all things seen and the true nature
of that which is unseen
the two are one in truth
the two are one in reality
a man that is not aware of this is in the dark
to this precious gem of knowledge
he is not aware of it
but still he *is* this reality
though he thinks differently about himself
and feels he is of another nature
by holding attachments to that which is seen,
heard and experienced
he is still this reality within the heart always
he cannot be otherwise
but must come to know it by making efforts
yet his efforts will be destroyed in the fires eventually
like the stick that stirs the fire
and is burnt away in the end
leaving only that which *is*
leaving the fullness of life
in it's purity

this one, so blessed

blessed is he that rights the wrongs 

blessed is he that purifies his own soul

blessed is he that falls not away from the real

blessed is he that lives in the moment

blessed is he that takes nothing away

blessed is he that takes nothing from the world 

blessed is he that takes nothing from the well of life 

blessed is he that takes nothing from experience

blessed is he that does not cling to the past

blessed is he that forgets the world and it's dance of change

blessed is he that forgets the world and it's shadows that play about

blessed is he that sits in the heart as love and light 

blessed is he that sits in the heart as non-dual perfection

blessed is he that flows with life as a river without blockages

blessed is he that sees all as his own soul shining

blessed is he that sees all as not to be attached to 

blessed is he that sees all as not be possessed 

blessed is he that does not shield the heart from life 

blessed is he that does not create a world from thought 

blessed is he that does not cover light by thinking and thinking 

blessed is he that lives simple and quiet with what is here

blessed is he that though with a body knows he is not that 

blessed is he that though with a body knows he is Shiva always

blessed is he that though comes and goes in body 

knows he does not come and go in truth 

blessed is he that though moves about in the world is not of the world

blessed is he that though sees the world of plurality knows he is eternally singular

blessed is he that is still and present and not within mental unrest 

blessed is this one of all 

this heart that is full and always 

this one that is here 

this one 

so blessed 

Buddha means *awake*

Buddha sat under the bodhi tree to clear
his mind of the false
why did he come to sit and how
did he find himself under the tree?

He was born in a family of wealth
that were focused on externals
clothes, royal trappings and games of love, war, sex
and worldly pleasures were their mind sets
this was very superficial in nature
and did not hold any substance
or find its way into the heart of the young
seeker
he was looking for something other than
what came like this and gave no lasting return
he was wanting to be free of all attachments
of form and desire
to rid his mind of the false energies that rose
to haunt his soul in the morning, day and evening
he was not wanting to live like a king
for it held no lasting value

Once his longing for freedom fully blossomed
and he knew for certain he was not a man of
the world
and did not want to delve further into the life
that was handed so easily to him
(like a plate filled with wonderful
foods and pleasures right at hand)
When he knew for certain
he had enough of all of this
and that his desire was firing elsewhere
in the heart to seek
this is the evening when
he took to his horse and went out with the help of his long
time companion
and then journeyed forth alone
he did not bring with him heavy trappings of the past
as this would be very cumbersome and daunting
for he was to journey through mountain passes and
into lands that were very rigorous
so why then would he bring the heaviness of his
past with him
he left the wealth
he left his family
he left his child (in good hands with those in the
community to care for)

So he moved forward
what he found in the beginning was suffering
suffering that he had been shielded from before
and he was shocked
he saw people starving and gaunt
like skeletons
pain wracking their eyes and heart
he saw souls lost and left to waste away like shadows
he saw old age and decreptitude
he saw poverty
he saw struggle and deep despair in the eyes
of those sitting by the roadside
what a shock this was indeed
as nothing like this had ever been revealed
before

He did not go to feed these souls food
or find them water
he did not bless them or help them to stand
he did not call them to come near or even pray for them
instead, he resigned himself to find freedom so that all of
humanity would have a map out
to be free of suffering eternally

So he wandered through the forest
barefoot and clothed only in a bit of cloth
with the elements coming in fully as there was no door
to shut or any locks in this open land
he carried no money
he begged for food and alms
he ate what he found
shrubs and berries
seeds and even earth when there was nothing
he slept on the dirt under the full moon
with the wild animals of nature's creation
and listened to their call in his ear
he encountered dangers
snakes, leopards, tigers and all the
wild things that people shun
and he sat shaking and petrified
but stayed, sat, walked
and continued

If he were to go back to where he came from
he would not be the Buddha
or the example of glory
that he is
or the one that showed the way out
of suffering
he would be another creature
that sank into worldly desire and was lost
to their own nature
like so many others
he would not have awakened
to the truth

So he wandered and sank into himself
in loneliness and dark places
but moved forward
he brought a lamp and this is the lamp
that lit his soul up
(not an external light)

he had no guide

**(Though this is not what is spoken
in the scriptures as the way that all can take
without a guide.
The majority need a true sturdy guide.
He is a rare example)**

Onward he went into the shadow land of mind
and its dark hauntings
the desire for flesh
the desires of food for the beast of ego
the desires for finding something for yourself
and holding it away as being yours only
all of the desires that haunts souls of those
in the shadows

He went into these dark energies
and did not run
and yes he was afraid and burned with the
desire to run
but he did not

He found himself in many rough waters
in which he did not know what to feel or think
but he called inwards always
to be present and steady

He almost wasted away to nothing
skin stretched across bone
and barely breathing
when a small girl
gave him some milk
he drank from it
because he finally understood
the body needed nourishment
and the soul needed the body for a time
to discover the truth
if the body died now
he would have lost his chance

The bodhi tree is a symbol
of his time spent in awakening
to his true nature
it is not a symbol that fits into your
picture of what it is
it is a shining example
of the forthright and steady efforts
of a soul to sit and discover himself
in nature with its spreading mystery
and open elements
the bodhi trees roots are so broad and flow
underground so deep that there is no way
that tree is to be shaken
this is like the spirit that is steady
through the winds of change and testing
waters
this is why the ones that do enter reality are the ones
that continue in spite of obstacles

The bodhi tree is where Buddha sat
for many a day
and many an hour
he did not wander around and talk
or ruminate about what he left behind
he just sat
and the demons came
and the desires rose up
this is where he continued to penetrate
the nature of mind and its false ramblings
he shook them clean
and tore away the covers of the false
he wrenched the mind clean of its wanderings
and personal stains
he wiped the mind of its outer layers that
blocked the light of truth
he did not reflect on what this or that meant
or hold his knowledge against the scriptures
or the lights of others
he was looking to find out for himself
so he could be a lamp to humanity
this is when he awakened
when all the false nature of impurities
burnt away
and the beauty of truth lit up

Buddha is awakened
and this is what it means
to be **awake**

let go, your world

the saints that come to know truth

walk alone thru the land of shadow 

they do not look back to see what is left behind

because by doing so the world is set in motion again

and this makes the journey much more arduous 

and lengthy

it is stated clearly in the scriptures that those that keep going 

into the death that brings life 

will be freed eternally 

as the bible rightly states the same:

"whoever tries to keep their life shall lose it

and whoever loses their life shall preserve it"

the ones that let go of their world are indeed 

the ones that will be freed 

friends of the heart this is the time now 

to move forward into the  fires

that will purify

and bring the soul to peace and light 

if you are seeking to be free 

this is the way

if you are playing with the world 

and wanting peace too, then no

you are not a man that is true on the path

you are a one that desires connection 

and feeling good

there is no one that can have their cake and eat it too

as far as reality is concerned 

and those that go on

well, they are rare in stamina and strength

and surrender

but this is not because of the rarity of freedom

it is always present 

it is just a rare one that tends to this fire of truth

and leaves it to burn the separation to ash

but the fact is...

freedom is open to all that make efforts 

not just here for some 

in the heart of all 

this freedom is

may it ring boundless and 

grow to consume the shadows

 

When the master speaks

if she tells you to go, go

if she tells you to stay, stay

if she tells you to live, live

if she tells you to leave out sorrow, leave out sorrow

if she tells you to begin, begin

if she tells you to stop, stop

if she tells you to not go there, don't go there

if she tells you to make your world filled with light, do so

if she tells you to make your world blessed, do so

if she tells you to know the one, come to know it

if she tells you your true soul, come to know it

if she tells you your true being, come to know it

if she tells you your sinless being, come to know it
if she tells you your true existence, come to know it

if she tells you be here, do so

if she tells you stop playing games, stop it 

if she tells you take nothing away, leave empty

if she tells you take your sorrows to the sea of knowledge, go there 

if she tells you make your life wondrous, do so

if she tells you that mind is an illusion, believe it 

if she tells you that all is not separate, believe it 

if she tells you clarity is without covers, believe it 

if she tells you shiva is here and now, believe it 

if she tells you life is to be lived, live it 

if she tells you created and creator are not separate, believe it 

if she tells you stillness is to be lived and not thought about, live it 

if she tells you Kali is the bringer of shadow and uncovering of light, hearken to it 

if she tells you Kali is black as night to absorb the suffering, hearken to it 

if she tells you Kali is the rich goddess of birth and death, hearken to it 

if she tells you Kali is shakti and is what all appears as, hearken to it 

if she tells you mystery is the nature of reality, hearken to it 

if she tells you mystery is the nature of still waters, hearken to it 

if she tells you mystery is the nature of all that is seen and unseen, hearken to it 

if she tells you pure vision is without form and mind, hearken to it 

if she tells you majesty is of the heart in it's purity, hearken to it 

if she tells you the body is a substance of nature only, hearken to it 

if she tells you the persona is a mask that is to be shed, hearken to it 

if she tells you the persona is a mask that is not real and right, hearken to it 

if she tells you death is not to be feared as it has no power in the one of all, hearken to it 

if she tells you death is the edge of the known that once moved thru destroys 

the illusion of me and mine, hearken to it 

if she tells you death is the making of the dream as it keeps one believing in shadows, hearken to it 

if she tells you death is the making of shadow as it keeps the mind turning and covering the SELF, hearken to it 

if she tells you death is not a living reality, hearken to it 

if she tells you death is of the body and of the ego nature, but will not touch the pure soul in 

it's non-dual fullness, hearken to it 

if she tells you fullness is the nature of pure life, not empty dullness, hearken to it 

if she tells you fullness is the nature of truth and light, hearken to it 

if she tells you fullness is the nature of reality and is filled with light, love and peace, hearken to it 

if she tells you shiva and kali are one in nature and truth, hearken to it 

if she tells you shiva is the light of all and is not to go in the shadows, hearken to it 

if she tells you shiva is the still, unmoving center in the heart, hearken to it 

if she tells you shiva is the non-suffering presence in the heart, hearken to it 

if she tells you shadows have no power but what you give them, hearken to it 

if she tells you stay out of the alleys of mind, do not go there 

if she tells you stay out of the trenches of mind, do not go there 

if she tells you stop fantasizing and live for once, do it 

if she tells you open up to life as it unfolds, do it 

if she tells you stop putting up barriers for yourself, stop it 

if she tells you stop placing obstacles in your path, stop it 

if she tells you stop making mountains from mole hills, stop it 

if she tells you die to the truth as there will be only great joy and life that remains, believe it 

if she tells you life is an opportunity to go forward, go forward 

if she tells you go forward into the best of the best 

the truth, the light, the living breathing ONE

go forward ..

go forward and make your life wondrous

in existence, consciousness and bliss...

blessed presence, she is

to her, the woman of great light

she is undying and beautiful

she is like a great seer 

in her form, she is ordinary

in her movement very ordinary

and not noticeable

but in her spirit 

she is the sun and the fresh heart of all

she is the wondrous light 

she is the forgetting of sorrow 

she is the dove on the branch in the moonlight 

she is shivasundari

the beauty of shiva in motion

she is a friend to the soul that is open

she is the coming of spring in it's bright life 

she is the season of transformation

she will quake the world that is set in shadow

she will drown the unrest with light 

she will fend off the demons without doing anything 

but merely being present in perfection

she will make the mask to be seen

and come off 

she will find the catch in there, the lock

and pry it open with one word, one glance, one move

that is in stillness 

to her, the woman of great light 

she will be 

and this is all

what a blessed presence is she 

and this is what is in the heart 

as truth 

to her

the woman of great light 

she will send the soul out to be washed 

in the river of sacred beauty 

where the sadhu sits and bathes in the evening 

and early morning 

where the waters rush in vigor to cleanse all that 

comes into it 

where the beggar sits on the steps in hopes that there will 

be food for his soul

there is food my dear 

come eat of it here now 

come put this great bread of wisdom to your lips 

and eat of the truth 

come wash in this water that is pristine 

come lay your coverings by the edge of the water 

to be washed away

come in and be drowned in yourself that is of heart and love

and light 

the woman of great light 

she is here in the soul

as the joy of all

she lives and breathes to make your world pure 

yet she does not think about it 

it just is this way 

in pure intelligence 

it is this way my love 

it is this way

in truth 

my precious seeker 

lay your shoes by the edge of the water 

to dance in yourself free and easy

take the soul to itself 

and breathe deep for once 

this coming of all

that knows not suffering 

can you dance in the soul

like a bright lilly of white 

and set the sorrow to go in deep and die away

you can if you choose to open 

and stop pretending that you are 

of another nature 

for this is so not well 

you can come in the water if you choose 

to be open and in love and light 

the light will take you in

and rinse the mud away

and set you to be in the world but not of it 

my friend 

come in and sing of life 

you are free in reality 

and will not die when the mask is laid down

you will be a soul that is living eternally 

like Shiva 

like the woman of great light 

she is here in you

and you are in her

and the two are always one 

so be yourself 

be free...

spirit in truth

he freed himself from the fetters of the world
he took to himself the light and fed it with attention
love and devotion
he freed himself from the bonds of suffering
he took to himself the wisdom of the sages
the books of the heart
the fresh energies that were given freely
by the Guru
in this way he walked in the fires of purification
he freed himself from the ache of separation
he called to nothing and no one
for he was in himSELF and what was there to know?
but only to go onward into the sea of knowledge
in which all that is a dream dies
not to be reborn
he freed himself from the bonds of sorrow
he lived like a man in the heart
what does this mean really?
it means to be not following the mind
the thoughts that come and go
or to make them up on a pedestal where they
will be the master
but to look instead to the life force of all
which is not of mind and form
which is in quietude and silence
he freed himself from all knowledge that was
of the past and future
what is a man that lives this way?
he is a man that is not afraid anymore
he is a man that does not  create a world with thought
he is a man that is purified and simple
he flows with life as a river unencumbered
but he is not any-thing
this is so very absurd
to feel the being is some-thing that is physical
because the being is spirit in truth
and this is unsoiled
and given within grace unto all

sacred waters

well friend,
i see that you are here
and that you are a man of seeking
what does this have to do with the world
and it's sorrows?
nothing
you are a man of seeking and
this is not to be taken casually
this is to be honored in grace and love
and joy
this is to be as a stainless, sacred opportunity
this is to be a treasure of the heart
to be in the way of seeking light
like the sadhu that comes in fresh and naked
birthed in the ganges or sacred waters
with the flowers of devotion offered
by the heart
these waters are made in grace
and do not shed tears of sorrow
but are present in equal portions unto all
and these waters are in the heart truly
inside where the ground of being rests
as rich stilled earth
so rich, so perfect
this is where you are to bathe
not in the waters of impurity that soil the spirit
this is what thought and mind will take you into
no friend
come into the fresh way
and be in non-dual clarity
for you are a man of seeking purity
you are a man of seeking light
the sacred places like Mount Meru
and Arunachala and
the caves where the sincere sadhu dwells
are inside
not out there somewhere to be discovered
for this is what mind will tell you
go here and there to be real
this is a masquerading of truth
what is here is always here
in truth


the murti is drowned in the sacred waters
and why is this?
to be freed of all images and outside attachments
the water takes it up
and sinks this attachment into the vastness of light
that is of all and none
so very much of a singular truth then is the whole
that takes away
that takes away
that takes away the unreal separation
in this is where the seeker lays the head
in the grace of one
in the grace of the uncreated that is always present
he sinks the attachment there
he lays his burden there
he finds himself within the light
like a man of beautitude then is he
like a man of silent purity
like a lotus that has risen from the mud of the world
so beautiful and fresh
untouched
this love, is the one

like a river

like a river that simply flows with it's nature
and does not think ahead or
hold an intention to flow
simply moves with the curves of the bend
and all that comes along
this is truly what the natural way is
not divided in thought and plan of action
spontaneous
in you this is what is real and will not
change according to ego's thoughts about it
how very absurd is this
that a thought that perishes so easily can control
that which is undying and filled with grace
for you can think about grace all you want
and hope to be within it
and be glad you are within it
but this makes no difference to grace one iota
because it is here always
and unaffected by thought or lack thereof ..
this is the funny part, yes?
why not then know that you are *in* it (reality)
by *being* it
and stop the thinking *about* it ...
and relax into this moment
letting your world go ...

world dissolves

in you the sky is 

and the moon and the clouds and the bright dawn

in you the soul is free 

and without stain or clinging

in you the world is born and disappears

in you shakti is in play

the colors, the shapes the seen 

and unseen

in you flows nature 

the manifestation of form and appearance

rising and falling away

in you the world is born and disappears

in you Shiva is the sun

and does not know birth and death

does not know sin and forgiveness

does not know names and faces 

does not know shadow and light 

does not know here or there 

does not know night and day

does not know me and you

simply lives here as pure presence

unborn and perfect

in you the world is born and disappears

in you men and women come and go

appearances rise and fall

love blooms and dies away

heat and cold, night and day 

movement and stillness

shadow and light

are seen and dissolve

in you the world is born and disappears

in you the seeker is born

and comes and treads the earth

and looks for something other 

and looks to be made whole 

and looks to be not untrue any longer 

and looks to shake off the shadows 

and falls down and rises up

and dissolves away leaving reality

bare and naked 

in you the world is born and disappears

in you the dream flows on 

the day dream, the night dream

the visions

the thought that says this is this way

and that is that way

and you are here 

and the world is there

moving, changing shape and dying away

in you the world is born and disappears

in you Kali is awake and in action

whether keeping blinders in place 

or pulling away the covers 

in you surrender is living or 

resistance is at the helm

going against the current

or laying down and allowing grace

to move the being 

in you the world is born and disappears

in you mind dissolves 

and leaves a fresh beauty that has no name or face 

and leaves a glory filled heart 

that sees of itself 

as there is no other 

and sees not the world as separate 

but as it is 

in sweet perfection 

in peace and light 

in you the world is born and disappears

have you gotten tired yet?

kind soul,

have you made your life well and in joy and love 

or have you shaded it with 

what you want and don't want?

have you made your heart pure 

by honesty and integrity

or have you looked always to justify and 

throw out the hard truths 

that will cleanse the soul of mud?
are you wrapped up in the drama of the moment
or do you allow your world be challenged
by the heat of Kali's fire?
now this is a man of true courage, yes?

it is a man that does not run from reality 

and run from himself 

to be buried in the false ways of desires 

that will take the mind
like a river into further delusion

if you are a man of substance 

then be of sturdy strength

because it is really much harder to run 

and keep the heavy way

than to be set free in the end

another paradox that mind will never get

for ego works always to save it's life 

and keep you running on a treadmill

have you gotten tired yet?

reality so right

forgive me

i have not been right in mind 

for sure 

i have been *wrong* in mind 

because there is nothing *right* in it 

i have taken mind to be wrong

but to mind this is not right

i have taken reality to be right

to mind this is wrong

see, in mind even if you are right

you are wrong 

and if you are wrong, you are wrong 

in mind

there is nothing right

gem of beauty

she sat in the shade awhile and contemplated
what was life truly?
was it just a bundle of thoughts that come and go?
or did it have something other within it
that did not leave the soul to sorrow
or feel it as an entity that is separate?
she pondered this
yet did not get caught in philosophy about it
for what was that to settle truly?
to argue with herself
for what was here but only herSELF
nothing else
she sat in the shade with this contemplation
of what is life and mind a bundle of thoughts only?
for these thoughts perished so easily
when they were disturbed or another
experience came forward
the thoughts made her feel as if she was not alone
but she WAS alone always within herself and her world
this was all that existed it seemed
with mind at the forefront
and though her mind spoke of a world and people within it
this was so very unstable
for these thoughts shifted from good to bad
depending on the experience and mood of the moment
and so she sat in the shade looking deeply at this truism
of the transient nature of mind
and was not to turn back until this was settled
what was the world a bundle of thoughts only?
and who does all of this appear to ...
to *me* ... to *me*
what is this *me*?
and in a moment the world was lost and there was no
separation...
the trees, the wind, the falling rain, the sky, the clouds
nameless and the same, not separate
not even a drop separate
how very odd, that this world was here and now it is not
that *i* was here and now i am still here and have not died
or gone away
just *here* as *pure presence*
minus the suffering mind
oh my, she was very struck indeed by the truth
like a lightening bolt that would not leave her inside
but continued to *move* the mind to the good and be set in grace
as a river that was to eventually wash the dross away
leaving the light that is ONE essence
it is as if seeing the world thru colored glasses
this one is blue and that one red..
but when the colorizations are rinsed clean
what remains is clear
what a beautiful reality
what a wondrous reality
a gem of beauty that cannot be anything but the soul in it's purity

in discovering the SELF
the one that is looking disappears
like a wave that returns to the ocean essence in which it
was never apart
like sandalwood that is finally lit to smell the fragrance
of it's pure potential that has rested asleep
now it is set free to waft thru the air
it's sweet essence to be finally savored
it is like the kept jewel in a casket that is
not seen or discovered
because one has not ventured to open it
and when it is opened
it shines immediately and brings a wondrous light of itself
what joy
it is like a bright glow covered by dust that sits thru the changes
unseen and dimmed
but once uncovered, brings light and clarity instantly
what joy
it is like a burden cast off into the river
not to be on one's back any longer
or cause a heavy ache in the heart ...
it is gone and over and not one's burden any longer
what joy
it is like the man in the time of sorrow that has grieved for
that which has never been lost
and once it discovered to be always *here* and not apart
there is peace and quiet instantly
what joy

you must come back

dear,
you lived *here* once
when the story was not in play
prior to the world being created
you lived as perfection
and beauty
so much of a gem in heart
yet you find yourself away now
and this is not right
you must come back
where there is no more unrest and
falling down of pure spirit
you must come back
where mind is not in action or
at the center
you must come back to your heart
that breathes as one in all
and is so living with abundance
flowing
you must come back
to the sea where all began
and did not know anything other
you must come back
where Kali is one
with her beautiful partner Shiva
and has never been separate
you must come back where Lakshmi
is not an image
but a reality where wealth of spirit
flows free
and all is calm and pure
you must come back
where Ganesha is no longer working
to destroy the obstacles
for he lay lifeless and within the heart
as all that has been seen as barriers is removed
you must come back to the time of Durga
where she has slain the mind
and cut the head of ego
and laughs in the joy of liberation
she has tamed the mind
and this is what is left
this perfect heart
you must come back
where your bed of dreams has died away
and the love of all is what rings
real and forever as o ne
you must come back to the
home of now
and be set in light
like a full moon on a clear evening
like a sun in it's zenith
and a mountain of great majesty
you must come back to the ocean
and be in yourself so joyful and open
and living
you must come back to mind
in it's natural state
without the shadow play
without the thoughts of me and you
without the burden
and the grief
and the waiting for something to be another way
you must come back to the present
the gift
the light and love
the beingness that does not waver or die
or sing of untruth
yes friend you will return
for i know you as a light
you will come home and be yourself
for i know you are a man of beatitude
you will come back