looking within...

the last image was one of an
army truck
loaded with men
waving to their families
heading off into army life
this truck was traveling forward on
the road
behind them,
walking in the opposite direction
the form of a man was seen
he was walking away from this
he was looking within himself
he was looking
at the war inside himself
then, on his form appeared
the orange robes of a sannyasi
then, his dress changed to
that of an ordinary man
this man was then seen inside
his house with his family
as if to say, this searching within
can happen anywhere
right where you are now
it can happen...

after this image, the goddess arose
her image of white purity was there
above the world
waiting with open arms
then this was heard

i sent your mother to you
she is crying
she is waiting for you
she is waiting for you
to come home...

flowers are better...

this morning, i saw a vision of a soldier
he was on the battle field dressed in uniform
then, i heard,

when are you coming home child?
when are you coming home from this battle?
so many are wounded
so many have died
when are you coming home from this battle?

one could see the vision of him there
there were images of dead bodies
and bloodshed
above this vision of the battle field
was a goddess energy in pure white robes
then, i could still see this soldier there
and beside him was another vision
of a soldier that had come home
he was embracing his mother,
she was weeping
so happy that he had returned home
and in full health...
then this was heard,

i sent your mother to you
she is weeping
her tears cover the earth
she is crying for you
she is empty for you
(an image of a mother on her knees
wearing a black robe could be seen
she was pounding the earth and sobbing)
when are you coming home child?
when are you coming home from this battle?

then what was seen was a black machine gun
and the battle field
then a flower could be seen falling from the sky
a white flower that looked like a daisy
then many flowers began to fall from the sky
falling on the dark machine guns
falling on the batteflield
falling on the bloodshed and tears
what was heard then was,

that man who said to his child
"they may have guns, but we have flowers"
he was right to say that
he was right to say that to his child
he said that to his child
he was right to say that
flowers are better
this was heard as these flowers were raining
from the sky
many, many white flowers falling,
falling...
then this was heard,

flowers are better
flowers cover the earth
they cover the earth in springtime
they bring life to the earth
they bring color, beauty and glory
to the earth
they are like a new beginning
they are like springtime
they cover the earth

may this blessing go out to humanity
then a spotlight was seen
a huge ray of light coming from it
that went round and around
as if to send this message of love
out to all

the next vision was one of a black
machine gun again
it had a white flower sitting on top
of it
then blood began to spill on this white
flower
staining it in red
big drops of blood, thick and red
falling on it
then this was heard

this is not the way oh, world
flowers are better
then, these words from a song
were heard,
please people, no more violence,
wars or tears
send this message out to humanity
then the spotlight was seen again
going round and around

the last image was one of an
army truck
loaded with men
waving to their families
heading off into army life
this truck was traveling forward on
the road
behind them,
walking in the opposite direction
the form of a man was seen
he was walking away from this
he was looking within himself
he was looking
at the war inside himself
then, on his form appeared
the orange robes of a sannyasi
then, his dress  changed to
that of an ordinary man
this man was then seen inside his
house with his family
as if to say, this searching within
can happen anywhere
right where you are now
it can happen...

after this image, the goddess arose
her image of white purity was there
above the world
waiting with open arms
then this was heard

i sent your mother to you
she is crying
she is waiting for you
she is waiting for you
to come home...

a master of healing, Mary...

when she came through, Mary (towards the end)
it was like a feeling that was not had in the other
sessions
she showed up and took over
she brought an energy of great potency and
fire that was startling in a way as to how this
very modest, gentle soul called Mother Mary
could embody...
it was like Kali in her force and fire and way
of cutting through the mud with no BS
i was stunned and so was Guruji as to how this
seemingly mild image could strike with such
force...
when she came, she was sometimes in white
and goddess like, other times in a blue type of
gown, heaven like truly no matter her dress
she only spoke mostly in a purely psychic way
of which i mean very little sounds were heard
or symbols/imagery/words seen...
just a *getting* of what was said or a knowing
if this makes sense...
sometimes, there was some imagery, the one
seen a few times was her standing on the right
side of a doorway, the finger of her right hand
was to her lips like shhhh, silence....
her other hand pointed to a doorway that was
open beside her, there were some stairs leading
up to the doorway in which one could see  out
to the cosmos, the stars and moon ...
the great mystery that awaited...

some of her sessions, she brought a laser like energy
that penetrated from her hands
other times her energy just penetrated through without
her doing anything at all, but simply being present
her calm countenance was always unchanged...
her flowing white gown and glowing fair skin
remained unsoiled ...
she would go right into the workings of the soul, the
mechanics of the soul in a way and adjust out what
needed to be adjusted out ...
so quickly this would be done,
like a master of healing the soul is the best way to put it ...
a master of adjusting what needed to be adjusted...
one could only stand aside and watch and say, wow!
she is a very impressive goddess/master of healing, no doubt...

when she came, Mary, she would be found always
still mostly, sometimes just her hands would move very
quickly as when taking care of a dark energy, she would work it
and flush fresh energy/clear water over it until it became
completely free of pollutions ...
she remained unflustered by any energy, no matter how dark
or secret or strong appearing...she just took it and sometimes what
was heard was "no more ego" and that was the end of it ...
did she ask about the story?, "no" for this mattered not as what
mattered was getting rid of the cause of disease which is ego
or the feeling of a separate energy at work...

blessed souls, the writing is slowing down now...
this seems to be all that is coming for now..

may all be well...

love never lost...

i sat by Guru and saw many things (and i saw many things
when not with her too)... it is like a river running and does not
stop for breaks...
yet the wonder is there of seeing such comings of light
the more beautiful openings were of the Christ energy and
Mary -- these two are like one heart of light, joy and
bounteous refreshment...
they come as one to say, we have risen above this aching
and are now of light and we are together as one spirit-heart ..
do you see us?, look! we are free in light and are not separate
we are shiv-nature, we are angel-light, we are fresh music together
and flow of one spirit-love, we are fresh music together and flow
of one timeless treasure-heart ..
we have never lost each other, we have never lost this love..
do you see us?

spirit blessing...

i was once not knowing of this life of spirit
i knew only what was thought of or felt about
the next life
but then, this experience of communion found
me and when it did, i shed tears of not wanting it
for i did not want more phenomena
thru this communion though, i came upon my past life and
it was a shock, but there was much clearing of that as well
as understanding of what carries over
into this lifetime..
it helped in that way, even though it was hard to hear of
the experiences had in the past..
then, the other side came through with blessings of clearing
and blessing for others that were aching ...
and blessings of all sorts and varieties and this was good
and helped to lighten this feeling of not wanting to be
open to this realm..

right here..

the mind wants to make the heavens out there in space 

somewhere, but this is only a labelling of sorts, it is not 

the direct pure experience of this moment ...

outpouring of grace..

i am writing to say, i was never interested in spirit communion

quite honestly, i didn't like the feeling of it at all...

but now this experience has come, and i will say that there is nothing 

to be in fear or dread of regarding spirit life ...

i have encountered nothing but an outpouring of grace, love, light

and blessings all around...

communing with spirit..

the souls that appear are like you and me in their presence,

just not with a body that is heavy in nature.. 

communion is the same way as here, except with various 

arisings that appear in mind like a typewriter on a white paper...

here are the words typed, here is the picture, here is the feeling 

here is the image, and here is the knowing that cannot be written

on the paper... it is just known and this happens much in regular 

conversation here too..

the images are immediately seen and understood, easier than words 

it is a much easier, fluid communion than on this realm...

today's vision...

there were some vision-memories that came forward

and with this, a stream of light arose that wiped out these memories..

then this light moved forward like a ribbon..

toward the end of this imagery, a big house appeared with a wide porch..

moving closer, a large, thick branch or trunk of a tree with 

branches moving outward could be seen on the outside of the house 

it looked as if a form or body was resting in the crook
of this tree trunk image, but the form could not be made out well at first...

as the vision moved closer, the body that was resting there was dressed in a nun's habit

and behind her, the face of Christ appeared, rather thinly or misty in a way

was his face...

this house, it felt, was like the body that houses the spirit ...
the nun-spirit ushered me inside the house and up the stairs
the door was open at the top of the stairs...looking out
one could view the cosmos...
the sky was dark, the stars twinkled...the crescent moon was there
bright and glowing...

then this scene disappeared and what was seen was a form of a woman
her arms were outstretched, she was looking upward to the sky
raining down on her was light, a lot of light, streaming down in great rays..
her eyes were closed, her head back, her arms, chest and heart, wide open
she was basking in this light with great devotion, love and rejoicement...
then, there was an image of her feet as she entered into some water..
the water rose slowly up to her ankles... she kept walking forward
the water continued to rise and rise until it engulfed her entire form
i could see the water then coming towards my face, as if going over my head
then, this form was underwater, looking up at the sky and the clouds, with the light
filtering thru from below the water..

there was also an image of a plant growing in light and love which
represented the spirit growing...
and the message that the absolute is different than this, it does not
change, grow or develop, it is completely untouched by this...
it remains constant, undefiled and pure through all happenings...

also, some footprints leading to a great cliff in which there was a drop
off into the unknown were seen... one could see the footprints and see how they
vanished at the edge of the cliff...

lastly, before coming out of this vision, i heard the name shivasundari
which is the diksha name given to me by Guruji before receiving
the name Siddhananda.... it means the beauty of shiva in motion...

so this is what was heard:

shivasundari, shivasundari

I, I... trailing off into silence...

then, "there in the heart, rest quiet, let the sea of joy surge, speech and feeling cease"
(writing from Ramana)

shivasundari, shivasundari..

I, I.. trailing off into silence...


end of this vision...

kiss of awareness

in winter the earth is dry and all is starkly bare

as that which lays dormant

awaits the first kiss of the sun

when it comes, this kiss

it awakens the life that has fallen to sleep

for awhile in the depths of the earth

and life is moved to begin to grow

little bits of green poke it's way out of the soil

and miracles occur within and without 

and all around 

for the soul too, this is the way

it sits in slumber

and awaits the first kiss

which is awareness

untouched by any forces

that are of the personal

and with this kiss of awareness

life begins to stir in the soul and something

else begins to move the being 

which is grace

then, the holdings in consciousness
come to the surface to be seen

like bits of flotsam and jetsam on the waters 

of pure life 

and the soul is then made aware of all that has 

been occluding pure vision

this is a good thing to see what is there  

that has been driving one to be in circles 

of worry or defensiveness or comfort 

or what have you

because without first seeing what is there,

there can be no cleansing

and how mother cleanses, does she not?

for she is like a goddess of the heart

in her way, she is like 

the most chaste presence

that comes in and through

and gives one a chance to see
what is true and what is false 

she comes this way to all in every moment 

with a kiss of wake up and see dear one 

for you are my love 

you are my child of the spirit and i know you

as the sun only

i do not know you as a shadow, not now not ever 

you are my child that i have given life to

and  i will take your soul to the place of rest 

when you open your heart to me 

and then i will make you be still

i will not ever leave your heart dear one 

i will not ever be away and forget you

but my child 

you forget me, by going out into the world 

of the false 

and when you are there, you do not know who 

you truly are 

you forget that you are One only

and that God is your very Self

there (in the world), souls speak of this and that 

and me and you 

and you are lost in that 

but know that every breath that comes in your form

is my heart only

and every tear too

and every word that you speak is my creation

but words are not this at all

they are only bits of shakti that rise and fall on this 

heart so pure and so real

so, my child, when you go in the world, can you know 

the one?

if you love me like your very own soul

you can know always this one that is here 

for i love the one that is not afraid of me (Kali)

i love that one with heart and soul and a force of fire 

that can never die 

and i love those that are away in the world too the same,

but they are not really in the way of seeing the real

they are playing in the world as if it is a playground 

for fulfilling their desires 

this is fine and well -- for it will bring life lessons to them

but for those in the way of wanting to be free

these ones i call to me 

come home and love me true

for i know the way and the path is in you to be walked 

stay sturdy and upright in your character 

and do not let worry and fear rule your reality 

then you can settle into this moment 

and feel the wind purely and feel the sun purely

and feel the sweet smile of a friend purely

and feel the heart as the shining one 

come dear child 

and be as you are 

i am your mother always 

and nothing can compare to this type of love 

but do not love me as an object 

for i will melt like wax and die there 

love me as your own soul

and i will burn bright as the brightest star

for you to be guided to the heart 

and i will burn bright as the brightest moon

that cannot be denied in the dark sky

and i will burn like a lantern and a torch and 

fire so strong and so filled with life

that you will not be able to return to the shadowland 

you will be moved to be true and well like you are 

so well and so filled with life and love and compassion

that will tear the walls of ignorance down 

so come now 

be free and do not roam in the land of the lost 

come and be the life that you are 

the life that can never die 

flowing with the universe...

before this next imagery that is to be written about arose,
there was seen an image of some very large eyes
that rested above the sky and clouds as if to say
God is watching and misses nothing...

then this scene came, there was some imagery of seeing the curtains that i made
very clearly again, then what could be seen was rain rising upward
into a very dark, dark ominous cloud and some imagery of the
disturbing life events of late appeared... not a fun scene at all...

what was felt was the rain falling upward was like a sign
that is turned the opposite way and twisted so as to go against
the flow of nature and the universe...

Guruji told me way back when an image of a swastika type of symbol came
up (in a book somewhere i believe), she said that the negative version of this symbol
is when the swastika is turned in the opposite direction as in the case of what was
done in the  Hitler era because
the swastika in hindu philosophy is a very ancient symbol turned the opposite way of this and
has always signified good luck, fortune, many blessings and going with the flow
of the universe..a very good thing and one will see it in much of hindu symbology
so this beautiful, pure symbol was twisted as a way to symbolize minds that are bent
on taking power into their own hands and distorting the laws of the universe which
cannot be altered and with this, darkness ensues...
so this is the feeling of the rain falling upward and being absorbed by dark clouds...
there was of course such a not good feeling about this, but there is a spirit with blessed
energy walking on those clouds shedding prayers and light ...

and now there  is a scene of a mosque that arose in my mind,
very arid, open and clean feeling...
the tile work is so beautiful with bright light colors...
there are some on their knees in there covered in their robes with heads down praying
there is also a heart that is outlined, it is not filled in as there remain many holes to still
fill in ..
so may this rain of grace continue and cleanse this energy...

waiting for the sun..

then an image of a branch emerged with bright berries
and snow fall...
it was felt that the time was the Christmas season..
the feeling of this was there along with the viewing of a family
in celebration of this time with all the ornaments and way of celebrating
with santa clause and all...
but what was above or separate in a way from the scene and completely
untouched was the light of grace...
it shined in it's splendor untouched by the happenings and it is also saying
that grace is the giver and is not a santa clause type of giver, but a giver that
destroys the shadows ... it also brings about happenings for the soul depending
on karma, but again this is not what one thinks as having to do with a doer ..
just the law of the universe..

also, it was felt that the winter scene was a message of the time of dormancy
for the seed or the soul in a way
where the seed is sitting waiting for the sun
and then a passage came in a poem from heart pointings, "kiss of awareness"

in winter the earth is dry and all is starkly bare 

as that which lays dormant

awaits the first kiss of the sun

when it comes, this kiss

it awakens the life that has fallen to sleep

for awhile

an image of splendour...

what came next was the most spectacular lotus flower seen yet (vivid, crystal clear), so huge with a bright diamond in the center
sometimes changing to a ball in the center... the ball looked like it was plugged in as it gave
such a bright glow of light ... the petals were long and  delicate...one could see the glow of light
shining through them that was emanating from the center of the flower..
each petal fluttered, translucent and ethereal like, in space.. like a plant life that was underwater would flutter...
really quite a breathtaking image of splendour...

flowing vision(s) of the day...

11/22/15


the vision(s) today:

there were some curtains i made that i put a picture up on Facebook
yesterday...
they came into view very clearly
each detail could be seen on the curtains, the white flowers and leaves
on the brown pleather type of material....the way the stencil
was done, some of the paint is thicker in some areas than others... this
could be seen...
the bright sun then emerged and the curtains rose up and covered the sun
then there was a twirling that turned into a star
what was seen next were some hands holding a large, round ball
this ball grew larger in front of the vision and then a goddess type
of image emerged....
her form was then lifted up as if laying down and floating thru space ...
above, there were some lines of clouds that did not touch this fullness of
the ball that the goddess held...
then what was seen was a shower head with fresh water rushing
from it, cleansing, cleansing...
next, there were clouds that began to flow into the ball slowly by slowly
until there were very little clouds ... this scene continued to float along

then an image of a branch emerged with bright berries
and snow fall...
it was felt that the time was the Christmas season..
the feeling of this was there along with the viewing of a family
in celebration of this time with all the ornaments and way of celebrating
with santa clause and all...
but what was above or separate in a way from the scene and completely
untouched was the light of grace...
it shined in it's splendor untouched of the happenings and it is also saying
that grace is the giver and is not a santa clause type of giver, but a giver that
destroys the shadows ... it also brings about happenings for the soul depending
on karma, but again this is not what one thinks as having to do with a doer ..
just the law of the universe..

also, it was felt that the winter scene was a message of the time of dormancy
for the seed or the soul in a way
where the seed is sitting waiting for the sun
and then a passage came in a poem from heart pointings, "kiss of awareness"

in winter the earth is dry and all is starkly bare 

as that which lays dormant

awaits the first kiss of the sun

when it comes, this kiss

it awakens the life that has fallen to sleep

for awhile

before this next imagery that is to be written about arose,
there was seen an image of some very large eyes
that rested above the sky and clouds as if to say
God is watching and misses nothing...

then this scene came, there was some imagery of seeing the curtains that i made
very clearly again, then what could be seen was rain rising upward
into a very dark, dark ominous cloud and some imagery of the
disturbing life events of late appeared... not a fun scene at all...

what was felt was the rain falling upward was like a sign that is turned the opposite
way and twisted so as to go against the flow of nature...
Guruji told me way back when an image of a swastika type of symbol came
up (in a book somewhere i believe), she said that the negative version of this symbol
is when the swastika is turned in the opposite direction as in the case of what was
done in the  Hitler era because
the swastika in hindu philosophy is a very ancient symbol turned the opposite way of this and
has always signified
good luck, fortune, many blessings and going with the flow
of the universe... a very good thing... one will see it in much
of hindu symbology
so this beautiful, pure symbol was twisted as a way to symbolize minds that are bent
on taking power into their own hands and distorting the laws of the universe which
cannot be altered and with this, darkness ensues...
so this is the feeling of the rain falling upward and being absorbed by dark clouds...
there was of course such a not good feeling about this, but there is a spirit with blessed
energy walking on those clouds shedding prayers and light ...
and now there  is a scene of a mosque that arose in my mind,
very arid, open and clean feeling...
the tile work is very beautiful with bright, light colors...
there are some on their knees in there covered in their gowns with heads down praying
there is also a heart that is outlined, it is not filled in as there remain many holes to still
fill in ... so may this rain of grace continue and cleanse this energy...

then, one traveled onward thru a passage that dropped down to very still water
with moonlight reflected on it ... a lovely white lotus was floating on it ...
the lotus then sunk down into darkness and became lost there ... some bits of green
stuck up from the dark water, but they were soiled...
this it seems is the dream state of not being conscious of life or heart or simply being asleep...
what came next was the most spectacular lotus flower seen yet (vivid, crystal clear), very huge with a bright diamond in the center
sometimes changing to a ball in the center... the ball looked like it was plugged in as it gave
such a bright glow of light ... the petals were long and  delicate...one could see the glow of light
shining through them that was emanating from the center of the flower..
each petal fluttered, translucent and ethereal like, in space.. like a plant life that was underwater would flutter...
really quite a breathtaking image of splendour...

there was also a scene that came where it showed writing like John Hancock signature written
with a feather plume pen just like it would have been written way back on that old paper...
sounding odd i know, but this is how spirit message comes, then handwritten under this signature
was grace... this was something Guruji said as well in the spirit messages
that when there is a merging together where two become one, there remains
a single energetic signature, also that grace/God is the one author of all   ....  (this is not to be confused with actions though, because actions are the result of man and mind when ego is in play, the result of free will...
free will is given to man by grace .... this just came now, so it is written here) ...

the last scene was one of a cat-type looking animal with piercing eyes that lit up, so bright and aware
always vigilant, seeing all, then this disappeared...

this is all that is coming now and though it may seem like a lot, when viewing it as it unfolds in
consciousness it is really quite quick, fluid from one to the next like looking out the window at
scenery that flows by .....

may all be well

om shanti

the writing that is flowing now...

the writing that is flowing in the last few times with the
visitation of Nithyananda, the visions of Shiva, the shaman and the others after
have flowed out spontaneous (like all the writing)...
interestingly though with these writings, the writing flows as usual
and then it is like a doorway opens and there is a vision that comes
that is crystal clear and is brought into the weaving of the writing, like an
engagement with spirits sometimes or just a relaying of what is seen
and felt within this vision...
and now i do see those jutting stones with a circle of light at the top
light is flooding down, the light is glowing ..
i am not sure what that is totally about, but it is just the vision seen
i do not put more on it than what it is and when the writing is done
the hands just stop and then it is done...

this writing is flowing as a way to give understanding to what is coming
in the writing now if it is of interest...
it is not like a mental thing or a wanting to give a memory of myself
for others to see, but through the imagery, there is woven in it a message
of spiritual journey for all...
the things in the images are simply like examples for this..

now this time of writing comes this way, but i do not know what will come
next, around the corner for now i am seeing a dark sky with a crescent moon
and stars, they are very big, the great mystery of it all...
yes, what a mysterious life this is indeed...

shanti om

more on the journey....

here is the writing that is flowing today...

when i was young i had no real grounding to bring 

myself to be steady 

there was so much turmoil in my world 

i still would have nightly dreams of vividness 

and very nightmarish too

i was not lonely

i was just sad due to so much pain in my world 

what a time of it 

but when i began the search for truth i did not know of 

how to proceed 

so i just started in meditating and also picking up chants from 

reading 

this brought a happiness for sometime, but then 

kundalini opened fully and i was floored with phenomena 

i do not write this way to say, look what a hard time she 

(this one) has had, but to make this life as all that come to a path 

an example of sorts of what happens in a full on kundalini 

awakening process

it is not easy for sure, nor does it bring immediate results 

nor does it bring what is expected (in fact it is so far from this 

mostly it seems)...

i do not write either to say, go and wake up kundalini 

for this is very dangerous if played with and should 

be looked at with caution, so again, it is an example

of the power within that energy, kundalini...

i was not truly understanding kundalini when it opened or 

looking for it... i barely knew of the word 

so i read books, buddhist mostly which were enjoyed 

and meditated in grave yards (of all things you might say)

but this is indeed a true practice of which i really knew little 

about, but was drawn there... drawn, i guess to the hard things 

to be able to see them and not turn from them...

so i spent time there in contemplation

and now as i am writing, i can see where i spent time in the cemetery 

in Seattle, near volunteer park...

i can see myself (as i am writing now) walking to that cemetery from where i lived 

i can see that i was wearing a white t-shirt, which i remember now wearing

i would walk by the small stores and shops on the avenue and then by starbucks

there was a safeway on the left and an organic shop too... i can see all the shops 

strung together on that avenue very vividly as if reliving it, yet being
a witness of it, so life-like feeling...
and then coming to volunteer park where children played

in the park on the other side of the cemetery... 

and now some memories are coming of that time in a very vivid flash 

the setting can be seen crystal clear along with this form walking there.. the day is sunny 

and bright, crisp and cool...

within the cemetery, some of the head stones are tall and thick

there is an area that has mostly asian families and i can see those headstones 

some black with asian writing trailing down it lengthwise 

there are some famous people buried there 

i would read the headstones and reflect on what was written 

as some had messages that were nice..

and on one famous persons headstones (Brandon Lee's i believe. He is buried 

there with his father)...

i found what is written on there because it is nice, so i will copy what it says

and as i am writing,  i am seeing his headstone there...

i recall reading it several times and reflecting on the writing...

"Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an 

inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and 

a very small number really.  How many more times will you remember a certain 

afternoon in your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that 

you can't even conceive of your life without it.  Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps

not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise, perhaps twenty. And yet it 

all seems limitless."

so this is where i sometimes frequented... meditating and looking deeply at the wonders
of the universe...

i would spend time just being aware and looking deeply at nature much of the 

time as well...

this was the beginning of truly opening to spirit/heart...

i do not advocate this for any other, this is simply the writing flowing today

i did not have a Guru at this time and had no understanding of the journey

of awakening really.....

this is all that is flowing for now..

om shanti

writing from year 2000, ongoing imagery....

These were all written in around the year 2000
these are from some letters to Guruji, much of the phenomena was
experienced before meeting her and has continued...

When I shut my eyes before sleep at night, I would see lifelike, crystal clear images.  I would see people walking through the snow and mountains. I would see strange faces and colors. I saw a snake writhing up my esophagus, it's red tongue lashing at me.  When I woke up one night, I opened my eyes to see a huge blob of red color changing shapes. All around and within it were different colors, purple, blue and yellow.  Tiny white lights were raining down on me.  The colors would move around the room, come close to my face and then move away.  I heard buzzing like a swarm of bees in my head, screams and had vivid dreams.

Last night, before drifting to sleep, i again saw the jagged tall, mountainous rocks I've seen so many times. Bright light shone through them as they pulled apart easily and effortlessly.  Sometimes I was looking between the huge gaps in the rocks, sometimes I was looking up from the bottom of the huge jutting shapes and they formed a circle at the top with light flooding the circle.  This continued with the perspective changing frequently.  Then as I looked up, the rocks began to crumble at the top and more and more light was let in.  I was easily quiet watching this.  Every now and then a lucid picture of a landscape scene would appear.  Brighter and more vivid than anything I've witnessed in my waking hours. So lit up and so vivid, incredible.  There was the sense of travel, moving with rivers, through the trees etc. Then the landscape changed and I was traveling rapidly over very black earth, black barren and bumpy, but there was no sense of loss on my part, just a different scene.  I went quickly through this land and immediately it changed to the ocean with great crashing waves.  More lights appeared, a purple scatter of them. Then there were more lights and I forgot myself. These experiences come to me uninvited. They seem to be like a pumice, one needs to never draw on them, but they draw on you. Draw on the debris and filth of the ego, leaving one bare and vulnerable, but there need be no fear in it, just a gentle allowing.

Soon after, shakti picks up again and sometimes stronger than ever. Wave after wave of phenomena and movement play out in a very rapid fashion.. like a strobe light.. no time to cling to any of it.. it moves on to the next thing so very quickly.  Sometimes the images are spiritual.. crosses, angels , churches burning, snakes.  Many are natural scenes.. rivers winding to the ocean, mountains revealed from all angles and perspectives, canyons, clouds and the clear blue sky (more vivid than anything in real life), roses of all colors.. movement into the center of the rose and pulling away again.. and images of different countries and people in colorful clothing.. sometimes the images are dark and shadowy.. a huge cobra yawning at me.. I hear voices speaking too.  All of this certainly makes one dizzy sometimes and a bit disoriented.  Shakti is clearing out all the content of lifetimes like a computer bank it appears.  At time I still get lost in the phenomena, but always catch myself and pull out of the way...

older post/ongoing visions, imagery....

just came across this post dated august 20, 2014
it was a report i gave on one of the sites
imagery like this has been ongoing for years...



Namaste,

much intense phenomena continuing... have had pain in my hands and then jaw with increased mucous..
intense kriyas as well as facial kriyas.. seeing lights/auras... increased visions... last night seeing
two doors: one with light coming thru, the other with darkness...the one with light opening, entering into the world,  very vivid with natural scenes, nature and buildings....then moving upward away from the world, seeing fire and smoke coming up in the trees... then moving downward and standing
on a precipice... and going downward into darkness... visions of the ocean coming up with mountains
and light filtering through... moving downward under the waves and looking up at the full moon
then the scene is blotted out entirely... with more scenery appearing of a man and a woman embracing and changing into a running river and dissolving, then shafts of sunlight remaining... images of families and couples embracing with love and unity and then the scene dissolves away into a stream
that runs into the ocean... so very vivid traveling thru the natural scene above the trees with shafts of light and a circular wave and then moving up to a huge majestic mountain and then this scene is rubbed out again entirely... there was also image of trees, water and people and then the scene was circled in smoke and fire and the words "finite, perishable" were heard... and some thoughts with trails of smoke and then two snakes intertwined dancing...
there was some commentary and then silence with nothing but imagery and a lot of energy filled the
head..have not had this kind of visions for awhile, but it seems to cycle through bringing a new level
of awareness...a bit disorienting sometimes with all the phenomena and continual perceptual shifts, but there is a moving outward and then inward into the heart which is centering amongst it all as well
as deepening quietude... spontaneous flow very common... this journey seems to have no breaks here of phenomena and intensity... am so grateful for the practices that keep the center thru the shifting states.. onward until all is cleared and mind rises no more...

beautiful here in Seattle with the lush greenery and vibrant life... enjoying it very much...

grace is always there ...

dear souls, here is the vision of the morning..

what came into view was an image of a large eye..
from this eye emerged a body dressed in a white gown and as i am typing, i can see it ...
it is floating upward and going through hoops or a dreamcatcher looking thing
and then it floats through another and another, moving upward..
then what is seen is a large crescent moon,
and then little by little the shadow is being pulled off the moon
like clothing slowly by slowly
just as someone might be pulling off a shirt from their form...
so this shadow cover is being pulled off and bit by bit,
the fullness of the moon is appearing and
it gives off a wonderful soft glow in the dark night sky...

then, there is an image of a man (very muscular) ..
he is pulling himself up over a ledge of sorts..
this, it is felt, is symbolic of the strength and fortitude of spirit
it takes to walk the path and give all to it...
then, as he pulls himself up and over, and
though it seems like it is his strength that does so, it is not..
it is the grace of God that releases him,
there arises an image of mountains with a sun rising....
also, what is seen are a line of buildings on the horizon with the sun in the background...
these buildings (or structures of mind) begin to be flattened and destroyed
leaving just the sun...

the next image flowed into someone saying,
"i can't believe it, my life was this way one minute
and the next minute, i was someone completely different"...
this echoed again and again a few times...
with, "my life completely changed...
i am not the same person as before"...
"i can't believe it, i am completely different..
i am completely transformed."...

i also heard, do not eat that fruit of maya,
then you will be bitten by the ill-usion bug...
this is what creates the shadow over the moon...
this is what causes disease ....

the next image that came was one of a horse...
a very beautiful one indeed...
i could see it's face so clearly,
such sweet, friendly eyes, so inviting...
what appeared then, on the horse were two bodies that i could not make out ..
as they became clearer, it was an image of me (or this form) on the horse
when i was about 10 years old or so ( i still have this picture and can see it now)...

to bring more background into this image...
my childhood was ridden with trauma and not a healthy one (to put it lightly)...
the only safe haven i had was when i went to visit my grandmother in the summers
she lived in the country ...
this is where my love of nature really blossomed
as the air there was so fresh, the grass so green...
there were little creeks everywhere in which one could fish
and woods and wonderful birds sounds and creatures all about ...
there was a garden there with fresh food
my grandmother would make salads and yummy things with...
she taught me to sew and knit and we would pick berries
and all sorts of wonderful regular childhood things ...
i had good times there roaming about that land in which
she made one feel loved and safe....
there was a horse that the neighbors had next door that i would sometimes ride and
there is a picture (and now i am seeing a snapshot in my mind) of me on this horse at about 10 years old,
my hair is long and straight and shiny...
i can see everything that i am wearing very clearly....
then, what is seen sitting behind me (on the horse) is a shaman/angel/loving grandmother or old soul
just a loving type of energy that was sitting with their arms around my waist...
embracing me with great love and joy and just being near me....
then the feeling of that time was brought back so clearly --
i was laying out in the sun and i could see my grandmother
in her little house in the kitchen making a wonderful salad
from the bib lettuce she picked from the garden..
her hair is grey with sweet little curls all about it ...
she is looking out the window and fretting and saying,
"Janie, don't stay out in the sun so long"..
and more of the feeling was brought back about this time of joy that was present in my childhood there...
then, i heard or felt the name "Dolores"
which is my middle name and the middle name of my mother, grandmother and her mother ...
my mother told me this name means, "daughter of sorrow"
then what i saw was a piece of thread emerging in my view (which is fitting as my grandmother taught me to sew)...
and some silver scissors that were cutting that thread...
cutting the tie to that energy, "daughter of sorrow"....

then, the last scene was one of being on that horse
with that angel spirit of grace that was there all along,
embracing this persona/body energy
and we went off out of that scene like the wind
and then the image of the sun emerging over the mountains appeared

such a nice vision this is,
speaking to grace being there all along,
even in the most difficult times,
there is that joy to be found,
that love that shines through it all....

it is raining out here and am now moving onward into the day...

great day to all and om

om shanti

Shaman visit, vision of the day...

what arose this morning was of a flower presented
it was large, with open petals
the shaman was there, decked out in his finery of primal fire source energy
he was dancing his dance (and now i see him in my mind)
which happens much as i am writing
he is there looking up to the sky
the sky is dark and ominous with a great opening of light
in which he is looking at or *into*...
he is saying, that he has come from that opening in the sky
in which rain falls pure and light floods through..
he is pointing to that opening and then spreading his arms wide and outward...
he says that it will rain pure on those that are open to growing tall in beauty and spirit
the animals are there with him, he lives in all of them...
then there is a bright fire like a dhuni (but it feels to be native american in energy) that is glowing
it is burning bright as a star in the night sky

he is showing his attire that is decked out with lovely native american symbology
and brushing it away from him to say this is not him,
and pointing to his body too as to say this carcass,
if you want to call it that because i am seeing some buzzards picking at a dead carcass,
is not him
and then i see a spirit rising from this dead body...
it is rising high to be merged with gold light of all

he is reaching over and touching my chin and taking it up
and putting marks of the native american signs on my face
like stripes on the cheeks and such
and then he smiles a big wonderful smile
and looks up to the opening in the sky
there is a lotus at the opening, white and lovely ..
such purity, purity is the feeling...

that seems to be ending this writing
but he says he is not finished
for he wants to speak of the shaman way
which is as a healer that is in awakened consciousness
the shaman aids to bring healing to the body as much as is possible
but mostly to the soul
i am not getting more from him except i see tools,
like (the shaman) provides tools, in a way,
for the soul to find their own direct experience of love and light
that by this connection, grace is opened as a flood gate to allow for spirit growth
he says, though, that grace is the provider,
not this piece of flesh and he is touching his body to say, not this
his tools are spirit light, love, harmony, connection, silence,
family love or spirit family love,
which is the connection with those ones that feed the soul and
give uplifting energies to aide in moving forward (this is very important says he)...
he is not speaking with words, but some is coming through with thoughts,
other times just imagery,
other times just a feeling or a knowing...
he is showing a hammer in his hand and a saw
and grinning wide like these are the tools
which is simply symbolic for the tools of the heart...
and with this writing some hearts are flowing out of his chest
and out of mine and also out of my fingers ....
he seems to be vanishing now... we will see

i did start to write of this morning's vision where
a great flower appeared with big open petals ...
from out of the center of the flower arose the shaman,
he was reaching down and laying some flowers on the ground
and going inward to the center of the flower
where it became darker, richer, fuller ...
from this flower emerged the Guru
and from this another Guru and another ....
speaking to the same fragrance or essence in all...
and then a line of full moons in a row appeared...

this is all for now it seems...
may all be well and open into having direct experience with this moment
and whatever that brings...

om shanti

more on this phase that is here now...

when i see visions, i keep the focus in the heart always 

i see what is there, but am not taken in by it 

i simply am present there to this viewing 

these visions rise up of their own accord out of nowhere 

i do not offer to listen to them, i do not invoke them

i do not hope for them or pray for them or anything even close 

i am not a soul that has immersed in this kind of thing, not even for 

a moment 

in fact, i am the opposite in nature and have not been in the least 

interested in this spirit communion

the visions have come here as part of this journey, but i 

will be happy when they go as much as any phenomena 

that has come...

i do not hope that they stay and linger or come in greater ways 

to bring messages forward, nothing like this friends 

i can say this truly

when these visions come, i immerse in the practices internally 

and allow them to vanish for one could be taken on quite a ride 

with them and that would be no joke at all...

one could go off center very easily...

although, i will say that in spite of this what needs to play out, plays out

i have been very unsuccessful at finding an off button to any of the 

phenomena...

i do not know why these visions have come and i do not wonder about this 

or take time on it ...

i am simply conveying this experience as a messenger of sorts .. a

soul that is on this journey of awakening and giving what is here in this phase 

and if it is of help, then this is good...

when i sit down to write, as i have said many times before, the hands 

simply move spontaneous and the words come..

sometimes there are thoughts as this is written, sometimes not.. it doesn't matter 

what needs to come, just shows up on the page it seems...

i do not censor what is written unless something is misspelled or doesn't make 

sense with wording, these kinds of things ....

i look at the writing and say, hmmm how did that come that way? i don't know truly 

friends ... 

some of the vision come out in written form

and are written in the most honest way possible 

i would never write of something untrue for this would be not healthy for others 

i write of what takes place for this happening may indeed occur to another at one point 

or possibly it has something beneficial within it ...

or maybe i will look back at it and be entertained at one point -- for whatever reason, the 

writing flows outward and is given here ...

and now, it seems the flow of this writing has ended, for nothing else is coming...

may all have a blessed evening and om

Bhagawan Nithyananda pays a visit...

Namaste,

this vision came last evening.. i just let the hands flow and do not edit any of the flow of writing...
so here it is...

om shanti

this evening i was reading about Nithyananda the avadhuta
and while doing this he appeared in my mind in the same tree he always
appears in
as i was reading, i noticed in my mind, he became quite animated as he is
doing right now
he was trying to get my attention, but i was just remaining calm and detached,
not real interested as usual..
but he became so animated that finally i paid attention to him and he said,
come here child, i want to bless you and he took my head and put his forehead
against mine and the mind became very still
and he said, don't worry about any doing, God takes care of everything...
then he patted my shoulders and said, okay, okay..
he is a very animated soul and very fiery...
he said, don't worry about that writing you do, but then he said it was okay to write
of this and okay to keep writing...

i can see him in that tree now ...his face is coming closer to mine
it is on fire for sure ...
he is not one to mess with, yet his soul is so pure and filled with compassion
and generosity...

i have seen him from time to time in that tree in which he seems to dwell in
spirit and as i am writing, he is looking over and saying yes, yes, that is right
and kind of gesturing with his hands to emphasize this...
he is patting the tree and saying yes, yes....


i have seen him before in my mind where he said he liked the writing that
came about him...
as i am writing he is saying go on
write of it ...
he said he enjoyed the writing of him done on heartpointings and while i am speaking
he is making an arc with his hands and a rainbow appears ...
he said, it could all happen this way (with a rainbow appearing)... he really liked
that part in the writing when the bright light appeared in the sky..
he is likening it to a rainbow appearance when a great soul passes away
he is saying to go into that mystery of the soul and discover it there...

i see a white lotus appearing on his chest (i am seeing this image as i am writing)...
and clear rivers flowing and clouds passing above his head
and fresh rains and jungle type of creatures that lived near him
he was a friend to all of them
there are children near him too... he helped a lot of the poor and needy
he was very generous in his spirit ...
miracles were known to occur when around him, they just happened ..
he said, he did nothing to cause these occurrence and was not the doer of it
God does all, there is nothing to wonder about or worry about ...
God does all he is saying with his energy...
and now he has disappeared mostly..
thank you for visiting Nithyananda and for your blessing

now he has reappeared and he is saying (he is not speaking with words, but i
am getting it), that you (Siddhananda), i am trying to interpret, but it is not
easy, so bear with me...
he is pointing to his eye are a seer of the mystic kind...though some may take this
to be crazy, this is not crazy.. it is the mystic eye...now he has his hand on his heart
this is of heart and now his hands are stretching around the heavens and earth as a way to convey
a mystic seer of the heavens and earth in their beauty of spirit ...
he said, that this is a gift and is God's work (as all things), to not worry about it .. it will be taken in and made into diamond type of riches... he is throwing small diamonds around ...
he said, i, Siddhananda am not taken in by these images or think they are special, but only as a message of truth and that they will dissolve (seeing an image of a clear running stream) into clear grace in time
do not worry, stay in heart and quietude and remain there ...
my blessed child
be still...

he has come back now and patted my head
and i gestured to him and touched his feet
and then a heart was shone from his heart
and a heart shone from my heart to say goodbye soul of spirit and light...
and now he is dismissing himself...

here is the writing that he said he enjoyed (written spontaneously
quite awhile back)..

there was once a sage named Nithyananda
he never failed to give sharp pointings
that cut deep to the bone of the matter
he was a type of avadhuta
which means he came in enlightened
though he had a form
he was not attached to it like those
in the mundane plane
when he was a boy he was very still inside
he did not look to outside sources
for succour but refreshed his being
always in God consciousness
as he moved in the world he
blessed souls that came near by his
words and vibrant presence
some came to be with him and wanted
to live with him
but he told his closest disciple to move on
and find himself in direct experience
and not cling to him as this was not
to make him free
he told his disciple to go get grounding
as this disciple had much phenomena that
was coming forward
Nithyananda went his way about india
with much powers (siddhis) but he was not
attached to them like those that were in ego
he was simply flowing in spontaneous joy
within the absolute
he took to the plains of india on foot
sometimes he would be found in trees
or up in cloud formations
sometimes in the running rivers
his shadow could be seen
sometimes he would be near a sadhu that was
immersed in sadhana with sincerity
sometimes in the winds that moved would be
his spirit, that was vast like the sky
when he was seen in body, there would be
souls that wanted blessings
he would bless them and then say,
now go and find your way
do not stop until the heart is abided in
do not be afraid or lose sight of the truth in your soul
be like Jesus and Mohammed
be like the earth and the stars in glory
do not fret about little things or dream about
what may or may not happen
instead be like allah inside, burning still and pure
he would say this
and then he would go away
vanish really in thin air sometimes it seemed
one day when he was standing by a rock
that was near a bubbling brook that sung
like the angels so beautiful and rich
he was looking like he would be out of body
and he spoke words like this
if there is one disciple that loves me true
and loves me with all their heart
as one that is surrendered deeply
and would die to be as God is
and would lay all down to know the truth
this one i would stay for
but he knew there were none here on earth like this
not one, not even his closest disciple could say
yes, my Guru, i am this one,
this one so true
and so he left his form
and on that day there appeared
a bright light that
raced across the sky
that was as the star of creation
it was blazing so beautiful
and all looked up to say ah, there is my Guru
and all walked away and left what was
a most amazing gift
a light so glorious
and he still lives as reality
here in your heart
this is where one is to go
and be free always ...

Shiva comes again...

i am still getting the yes, no answers to questions in my
mind (though i do not purposely engage this)..
it is like when the mind wonders about something, sometimes
one is not even aware of doing this and instead of being left
not knowing, the answer comes of
yes/no .. or maybe or 50/50 chance...
what i have been shown is a bulls eye and the arrow may hit the
mark in the middle with something, but sometimes it does not or
it is farther from the middle... meaning (less chance)...
also, this is only the reading or temperature of the moment in a way
as the climate is forever changing in the cosmos and the next minute
there could be something different...
so, this getting questions answered is still occurring ..
sometimes it is spelled out for me.. written out ...
especially if the mind still wonders as a way to say, YES or
NO and re-emphasizee the answer...


here is the vision of the morning which just came
while sitting here ....

there was an image of shiva in my mind
his presence was the same as always, blue,
ethereal and not of this world
he was decked out in the symbology of awakened consciousness
then, i heard, "diamond purity" i have not seen that kind of
brilliant detail for several days in that way
and i just remembered it...
then, i heard, do you want to see that way again Siddhananda?
and the diamond started coming into view (not as clear as before though)..
it was twirling in space coming forward
and i said, "no i do not desire that...my desire is to enter realization.
whatever needs to be taken to have this be so, may it be so ( i have
definitely given off this energy or response many times before, this is not the
first)...
then, Shiva appeared again and he flung the diamond away
and it twirled away from my view...
and he said, "do not dance with this anymore Siddhananda."
and i said, "please, and may it not dance with me anymore."
then, my face was turned upward to him ....it was tear streaked
i was looking into his face...then, he wiped my tears away and with this,
wiped consciousness too, it was felt, as i could feel this
clearing energy move into my being...

i can see this image of Shiva in my mind now as i am writing
he is leaning on one knee and i am there in front of him..
he is a very big muscular male type of energy....he is very handsome
and beautiful...and very, very powerful looking too...
he is wearing his tiger skin around his waist...
he is blue with the chandra (moon) on the side of his head
his hair is long and black with a deep, rich shimmer to it ...sometimes
it flashes red when the light hits it just right, it turns a bright, vibrant red...

then, i felt my body sitting by a clear, running river and i was taking
this water into my mouth....
i was drinking it and pouring it on my head...
shiva appeared above this scene as if he was part of the mountains, clouds
and earth....there were birds flying and the clouds were parted with light
breaking through...
i did hear also (regarding shiva), he opened this for you and he will close
it too (so that the mind can enter that purity)...

hopefully this is why Shiva is around more now, to aid in completing
this process...
his presence has been very stilling to  consciousness...



om shanti

Shiva imagery comes alive...

i was looking at this picture deeply (which is what seems to happen when
these spirits come through)...
i become entranced with the imagery and lost in it when looking...
as i was looking at this one, i could see the water of the ganges come over my head
and drench me the same way that is happening with shiva..
i could hear the roar of it in my ears.....so loud and clean to listen to and feel...
i could feel the cool strength of the mountains there and the majesty of the
ground of being in which all sits..
i could taste the clean purity of the scene and feel the cool air blowing my hair
and on my skin
i could feel all of this without words, not even one...
as if being there and not being there too...
so holy is this feeling of heart that is blooming that i can hardly speak clearly of it
and yet i do try to convey it in terms that can be understood as best possible ...
as it can awaken the soul to feel and live beyond the walls of the mundane reality
or beyond the ordinary experience that one is accustomed too..
also, it speaks to the one essence of all in the symbology... always and without fail,
it sings of this...

certainly, these experiences need not ever happen to enter the heart and stillness, but
since it is, then here it is with full heart ... this spirit language that speaks of one beautiful whole..
it is just an offering as all offerings of heart and light ...
it is not of my making or any persona.. it is just a message of heart...

maha shanti om

More on Shiva..

this souls is the best i can write of this time
i am not attempting to be anything but honest
you know, i just let the hands move and what comes
comes out as if the hands are moved by grace/spirit

shiva was here awhile ago
he comes off and on in the mind and leaves his
feeling of purity there
when he comes, he does not say anything or
impart wisdom in that way
he just is present and touches my forehead
with his light
this is all really ....
he is not of this world for sure
he is a reality of purity as the dove in the moonlight
he sings of this with stillness in his eyes
his hair is long and beautiful as he is so
beautiful
his eye that is the extrasensory eye or middle eye
sees all without seeing anything
it captures the beauty of all the cosmos in one glance
it takes it in and dispels the illusion that it is separate
it works it into nothingness that is full
it works it into dust and blows it away
then the seeing eye is clear of obstructions
the knot on his head holds the ganges river
she is so powerful that he holds her there
and she flows from this knot like a wonderful
fountain of joy
the chandra or moon on his head is indicative of time,
phases, cycling, as well as change
and transformation of the soul (in it's time)..
the ashes are the dust of attachment, he has burned them up
the attachment to form, the attachment to mind, the attachment
to experience, the attachment to identity, the attachment to *other*
the attachment to the desire to be something different, something better
or what have you...
he embodies all of these things and so much more as he is completely
untouched of the world
he comes off and on to my consciousness with a bright feeling of om
and unconditional being
i am simply present to that when it happens and do not think anything
about it at all truly ...

this is all the writing that is coming now
may all rest well and feel this purity of spirit in the being
and be blessed with love and light

om shanti

with notes that rise sweet...

i know spirit lives,
i have heard it, seen it, felt it, touched it,
tasted it, loved it and argued with it too...
it has played through my soul like music
and a fresh gurgling spring
it has found it's home inside my being
where there is no logical mind to sting it
it has found it's home in my fingers and breath
and heartbeat
strumming like a guitar or resonating like a
violin with notes that rise sweet
it has put it's fragrance in my hair
and on my skin
and in my guts too, there is this fire
growing
how can i explain it?
it has not been easy, not once,
but it burns inside deep and well

When Shiva Came...

when shiva was in my mind 

i felt him as an energy that came 

he came with his trident and placed it in my hand 

and opened the third eye to be awake 

like the way his looked, open and clear

and though i saw visions before for 

many years,

i began to see them in another way 

as if projected in my mind clearly in relation

to spirit and projected outward too as if the 

vision was down the hallway (this was the case 

with the vision of Mary and many others as 

well, but hers stands out the most)

this was the change that came with his grace 

and blessing 

i had no idea what would come after his appearance 

i just know i was sitting next to Guruji in the car 

and began seeing his face

it was large and had a blue tone to the skin 

(which is symbolic of swallowing the poison 

of the world and remaining untouched by this)

his third eye shone like a light 

he touched my forehead with this light 

next i felt a lot of clearing energy through my body

there were some shadows present there where pain 

lurked and i don't know what else

and i felt light going into my body and mind 

and the shadows being blown away

the chandra or moon was placed on my forehead 

(same as on his)

and all the markings of shiva were placed there 

this was a bit off centering for me as it just occurred 

while sitting next to Guruji and being involved in 

conversation with her, in ordinary flow..

this continued to happen for quite awhile while driving 

i did not say anything to her as so many odd experiences 

have come and gone that i felt this was the same, although

it was a different feeling to have Shiva appear like this as you

might imagine 

this is not like a thinking of Shiva, but an appearance as if 

one is watching a movie before them (in a way) of this scene and it 

just plays on, and some of the imagery is taken in and placed
on your own being and form.. it feels to be a life-like energy though
compared to a film, so it is different in that way...

i did tell Guruji later about this happening as this vision
occurred right before the psychic opening
and she said, "they were opening this work."

of course i knew nothing of this at the time and was simply present 

there and this vision flowed out of the blue literally...

i have seen shiva off and on throughout this process..

he appears and again he touches my forehead with a piercing 

light that is the same as on his forehead... not painful or uncomfortable 

in any way, just different 

this happened while driving (by myself) and then of course one just flows along to the destination

and takes care of what needs to be taken care of ...

such is the way of this flow, it is the timing of grace and not within the timing 

of a persona, not ever ... it flows on it's own energy and rises and falls within 

the space of stillness..

adorned with riches of spirit

see her, adorned in the moonlight with riches 

her attire sparkles so of the spirit way

look at her 

glowing in light, free of fetters of mind 

free of attachment to form, pride and vanity

when she smiles, her eyes sparkle like many suns 

and many full moons that radiate wondrous mysteries 

she does not say, i am special darling, look at me 

how beautiful am i?

why does she not say this?

because her mind is lost to the one heart of all

and he (God) is what shines as her and in her 

and in all things 

to her, she is simply one consciousness 

but she does not think like this 

oh how can it be explained souls?

just look at her way of being fully present 

with such grace and sunshine of spirit 

not like a wilted thing that rises and falls, 

rises and falls 

but like an ocean deep, like a hearty rooted 

tree, sturdy, withstanding the tests of time

timeless...

not of the world child

not of the world 

see her, her hair shines in the sun like gold 

her fragrance smells fresh and sweet and
brings stillness to the mind

her touch is the feel of pure awareness

her knowing is of non-dual richness

her compassion is like the deepest ocean
and vast as the sky

her tears like clear rivers running 

in rejoicment to cleanse the dross for humanity

her kiss is like the most beautiful of all 

for it opens the mind to be like her 

her arms are open and bring fresh ripe fruit of leela

look at her, adorned in white like a lilly

fresh and clean

her earings sparkle and reflect the cosmos 

is she a princess? one might say

is she a goddess? this might be asked too

is she an illusion? hammmm, let us see

let us go into her soul and see what is there

oh my love what wonders are there 

such richness of spirit 

and vastness too

within her heart, lives the pathway
to the one heart of all,

the heartbeat of the soul 

the om, the omkara, the zero

but, for now, she flowers like this to say

my children, you are loved and free to roam 

through the soul and live this life in openness

for nothing can harm you

not anything that is seen
for you are spirit true, you are love undivided 

and here are your jewels
to adorn your head and your body 

these jewels shine of heart and soul and substance
that is lasting

here take them up and wear them 

as they will bring you illumination

my children you are loved 

no go on and be free