more explanations of visions...

12/5/15


i have read very little on those that have had visions
i know very little about it
it has not been my focus, ever
but since this experience of seeing has come, i have
read a little bit
not extensive at all, since it really is not where the
mind-set is

what i have been told by spirit as i still get the confirmation
of yes/no inside my head and this is not done in a purposeful
way it feels, but more of a spontaneous happening in which i
truly do not want to know much of it as it can revolve around
like mental energy does...
but, from what i am hearing is that the visions i have seen are
more like Bernadette of Lourdes..
when her vision arose though, Mary appeared more animated, like
a natural person i guess in her way of looking and communicating
she gave her direction to do this and that ...
(which has happened many times with visionaries of the past
apparently as far as getting directions to do this or that like
build a chapel or what have you..)..
Bernadette saw this image as if from a distance --
this was the image, i have written about that was the most outstanding
in the way of being reflected from a distance .. and though i have seen
many images before and since of Mary and other spiritual personages that
are filled with light, i have not seen this way before or since ...
i saw her when walking out of my condominium going to the pool
my condo is on the second floor and when i walked out, i saw
this vision of Mary down farther towards the stairs which is maybe
three condos down from where i was standing
she was standing there, lit up in white with lotuses lining the way
to her on each side  with a candle in each  lotus, so a path was made to her
she was holding a lovely white lotus and the full moon was behind her
she did not say anything to me...i simply gestured to her in a humble way
with nodding of my head and with my hand to my heart
though, i was told by spirit that this vision is the same as Bernadette's
the difference being that Mary did not speak
to me at the time this particular vision was seen (though she was/is as real as anything).. she did not give direction to me either...
there were times, however when seeing her (and i have seen her many, many
times in various ways and presence and still see her, in fact right now, she appears
to me.. .above me, from her shoulders up, her face framed in white, lovely and unsoiled
as always in presence) that there has been communication and not as Bernadette communicated
with her mouth moving and her body moving like a regular person, but with psychic
communication and understanding.. sometimes hearing internally the words, other times
imagery, other times a knowing or understanding.. a few times a gesturing of her head
or a putting of her hand to her heart.... or a showing of imagery (such as her finger to her
lips and the open door to the cosmos)...
sometimes just her hands moved as when doing the healing work...
she remained thru all of these manifestations entirely unchanged in
purity and being-ness that was fresh and unstained...
i want to say that when you have or do see this way
you do not forget it, it is like an imprint on your soul that is on fire with love, heart and great mystery
it is not something you take as everyday even though your mind may feel or think a certain way,
this divine seeing remains as part of your being and will never die whether the mind is active
or still... it is a deep rich, mystery that remains inside of the soul....
the visionaries of the past, from the little i have read and the few that are written about, most appeared Christian based, but there is no way that this is true because this seeing does not discriminate .. for why would it?, there had to be
many that have seen visions in all types of spiritual life and even some that have never walked in those shoes too, for they may have been young, innocent and open in mind ... this is all that matters,
mostly though, one cannot understand why it comes to them this way, this cannot be understood
at all... for speaking about myself, i feel so completely ordinary and not like a one that would have this sort of thing come...
i know too, that i do not have miracle marks on me -- though the stigmata was placed on my hands in a vision one time as they dripped with blood and have had much debilitating pain and weakness (in my hands) for years...
also there has been seen visions of light coming from them (my hands) and tree branches with leaves in them
and the entire cosmos was seen in them, i know it is all very strange to hear, but this is what
has been seen..
i know the church has also said that some visions can be hallucinations, but i know these visions spoken of are not.. i hear voices and have heard voices, but these are also not hallucinatory in nature i have never hallucinated although one can drift very far away with this .. it is a kundalini happening which is different than a diagnosable illness of schizophrenia in which the one seeing visions has no spiritual signs or symptoms of spiritual openings, it is a very, very different thing....

here again, is the writing on this vision spoking of about Mary which hardly captures her
presence ...

om shanti


9/25/15


you have come here
to sacrifice the ego
so keep coming child
and do not fear the light
put your head to rest in God
she is here, Mother Mary
she will anoint your forehead
with fresh water
and take your chin in her
lovely hand to pull
up your face
and meet her eyes
so crystal clear are they!
they penetrate into your
soul like moon beams
and brighten your days
and light your mind up
with visions of beauty
this is where i saw her
yesterday
i was walking out of
my place where i live
and before me manifested
a path of pure white lotus
flowers
each with a candle glowing
at the end of this path was
Mother Mary
holding a lotus blossom
and offering it to me
she is a vision of loveliness,
adorned with white framing
her face and falling on her
shoulders
she radiates purity so strongly,
lovely like doves flying and harps
playing and moon beams falling
behind her was the full moon
round and perfect
without any flaws of the world
this vision just came out of the blue
different, a little then the others
as it was projected outward more
i gestured to her most certainly
in a humble way of gratitude and
honoring of her purity
then, as i was swimming in the
pool,
there were white lotus flowers
floating everywhere
like a water lotus garden, so fresh
walking up the stairs,
lotus flowers lined each stair with
a candle
sparkly little lights with fresh
white blossoms surrounding them
then, as i was walking,
there was a lotus blossom placed in the
hearts of the passerbyers
later, my hands dripped with blood
an image of the stigmata was upon them,
very soon, this changed to lotus flowers
and my hands were made of light
more lotus flowers were placed on my eyes,
my ears, my mouth, my heart and feet
as i walked, lotus flowers fell from my
mouth
Mother Mary anointed my forehead and
looked at me with her loveliness
as a way to say, this is to take away suffering
her image is one of beauty untouched!
i want to say to you, to feel her too
in your heart
for there are many, many lotus flowers
arising from this purity
and are offered to all of humanity as
a symbol of purity and to say,
be quiet, be present
be in love with heart
here she is, Mary
what a presence of eternal beauty
she comes as love itself
she offers the sweetness of the flower,
the ripe fruit of sacrifice
she suffered truly
and purely
and now is in heart as one, undivided whole
feminine love divine
pure love....
Mother Mary

a master of healing, Mary...

when she came through, Mary (towards the end)
it was like a feeling that was not had in the other
sessions
she showed up and took over
she brought an energy of great potency and
fire that was startling in a way as to how this
very modest, gentle soul called Mother Mary
could embody...
it was like Kali in her force and fire and way
of cutting through the mud with no BS
i was stunned and so was Guruji as to how this
seemingly mild image could strike with such
force...
when she came, she was sometimes in white
and goddess like, other times in a blue type of
gown, heaven like truly no matter her dress
she only spoke mostly in a purely psychic way
of which i mean very little sounds were heard
or symbols/imagery/words seen...
just a *getting* of what was said or a knowing
if this makes sense...
sometimes, there was some imagery, the one
seen a few times was her standing on the right
side of a doorway, the finger of her right hand
was to her lips like shhhh, silence....
her other hand pointed to a doorway that was
open beside her, there were some stairs leading
up to the doorway in which one could see  out
to the cosmos, the stars and moon ...
the great mystery that awaited...

some of her sessions, she brought a laser like energy
that penetrated from her hands
other times her energy just penetrated through without
her doing anything at all, but simply being present
her calm countenance was always unchanged...
her flowing white gown and glowing fair skin
remained unsoiled ...
she would go right into the workings of the soul, the
mechanics of the soul in a way and adjust out what
needed to be adjusted out ...
so quickly this would be done,
like a master of healing the soul is the best way to put it ...
a master of adjusting what needed to be adjusted...
one could only stand aside and watch and say, wow!
she is a very impressive goddess/master of healing, no doubt...

when she came, Mary, she would be found always
still mostly, sometimes just her hands would move very
quickly as when taking care of a dark energy, she would work it
and flush fresh energy/clear water over it until it became
completely free of pollutions ...
she remained unflustered by any energy, no matter how dark
or secret or strong appearing...she just took it and sometimes what
was heard was "no more ego" and that was the end of it ...
did she ask about the story?, "no" for this mattered not as what
mattered was getting rid of the cause of disease which is ego
or the feeling of a separate energy at work...

blessed souls, the writing is slowing down now...
this seems to be all that is coming for now..

may all be well...

flowing vision(s) of the day...

11/22/15


the vision(s) today:

there were some curtains i made that i put a picture up on Facebook
yesterday...
they came into view very clearly
each detail could be seen on the curtains, the white flowers and leaves
on the brown pleather type of material....the way the stencil
was done, some of the paint is thicker in some areas than others... this
could be seen...
the bright sun then emerged and the curtains rose up and covered the sun
then there was a twirling that turned into a star
what was seen next were some hands holding a large, round ball
this ball grew larger in front of the vision and then a goddess type
of image emerged....
her form was then lifted up as if laying down and floating thru space ...
above, there were some lines of clouds that did not touch this fullness of
the ball that the goddess held...
then what was seen was a shower head with fresh water rushing
from it, cleansing, cleansing...
next, there were clouds that began to flow into the ball slowly by slowly
until there were very little clouds ... this scene continued to float along

then an image of a branch emerged with bright berries
and snow fall...
it was felt that the time was the Christmas season..
the feeling of this was there along with the viewing of a family
in celebration of this time with all the ornaments and way of celebrating
with santa clause and all...
but what was above or separate in a way from the scene and completely
untouched was the light of grace...
it shined in it's splendor untouched of the happenings and it is also saying
that grace is the giver and is not a santa clause type of giver, but a giver that
destroys the shadows ... it also brings about happenings for the soul depending
on karma, but again this is not what one thinks as having to do with a doer ..
just the law of the universe..

also, it was felt that the winter scene was a message of the time of dormancy
for the seed or the soul in a way
where the seed is sitting waiting for the sun
and then a passage came in a poem from heart pointings, "kiss of awareness"

in winter the earth is dry and all is starkly bare 

as that which lays dormant

awaits the first kiss of the sun

when it comes, this kiss

it awakens the life that has fallen to sleep

for awhile

before this next imagery that is to be written about arose,
there was seen an image of some very large eyes
that rested above the sky and clouds as if to say
God is watching and misses nothing...

then this scene came, there was some imagery of seeing the curtains that i made
very clearly again, then what could be seen was rain rising upward
into a very dark, dark ominous cloud and some imagery of the
disturbing life events of late appeared... not a fun scene at all...

what was felt was the rain falling upward was like a sign that is turned the opposite
way and twisted so as to go against the flow of nature...
Guruji told me way back when an image of a swastika type of symbol came
up (in a book somewhere i believe), she said that the negative version of this symbol
is when the swastika is turned in the opposite direction as in the case of what was
done in the  Hitler era because
the swastika in hindu philosophy is a very ancient symbol turned the opposite way of this and
has always signified
good luck, fortune, many blessings and going with the flow
of the universe... a very good thing... one will see it in much
of hindu symbology
so this beautiful, pure symbol was twisted as a way to symbolize minds that are bent
on taking power into their own hands and distorting the laws of the universe which
cannot be altered and with this, darkness ensues...
so this is the feeling of the rain falling upward and being absorbed by dark clouds...
there was of course such a not good feeling about this, but there is a spirit with blessed
energy walking on those clouds shedding prayers and light ...
and now there  is a scene of a mosque that arose in my mind,
very arid, open and clean feeling...
the tile work is very beautiful with bright, light colors...
there are some on their knees in there covered in their gowns with heads down praying
there is also a heart that is outlined, it is not filled in as there remain many holes to still
fill in ... so may this rain of grace continue and cleanse this energy...

then, one traveled onward thru a passage that dropped down to very still water
with moonlight reflected on it ... a lovely white lotus was floating on it ...
the lotus then sunk down into darkness and became lost there ... some bits of green
stuck up from the dark water, but they were soiled...
this it seems is the dream state of not being conscious of life or heart or simply being asleep...
what came next was the most spectacular lotus flower seen yet (vivid, crystal clear), very huge with a bright diamond in the center
sometimes changing to a ball in the center... the ball looked like it was plugged in as it gave
such a bright glow of light ... the petals were long and  delicate...one could see the glow of light
shining through them that was emanating from the center of the flower..
each petal fluttered, translucent and ethereal like, in space.. like a plant life that was underwater would flutter...
really quite a breathtaking image of splendour...

there was also a scene that came where it showed writing like John Hancock signature written
with a feather plume pen just like it would have been written way back on that old paper...
sounding odd i know, but this is how spirit message comes, then handwritten under this signature
was grace... this was something Guruji said as well in the spirit messages
that when there is a merging together where two become one, there remains
a single energetic signature, also that grace/God is the one author of all   ....  (this is not to be confused with actions though, because actions are the result of man and mind when ego is in play, the result of free will...
free will is given to man by grace .... this just came now, so it is written here) ...

the last scene was one of a cat-type looking animal with piercing eyes that lit up, so bright and aware
always vigilant, seeing all, then this disappeared...

this is all that is coming now and though it may seem like a lot, when viewing it as it unfolds in
consciousness it is really quite quick, fluid from one to the next like looking out the window at
scenery that flows by .....

may all be well

om shanti

the best seat in the house (revised)...

5:00 AM

Vision: Mother Mary floating in the cosmos ... she puts her hand on my forehead and brushes it gently as if to shut my eyes... then a large vision of a cross emanating light luminescent light, light..

then what is heard in my mind

Who is Siddhananda and i see a reflection of this form looking back shrugging her shoulders, like *i don't know*..
then this poem:

Does the cosmos know who Siddhananda is?
the cosmos does not know who Siddhananda is
Does Mary know who Siddhananda is?
Mary does not know who Siddhananda is
Does Christ know who Siddhananda is?
Christ does not know who Siddhananda is
Does Guru now who Siddhananda is?
Guru does not know who Siddhananda is
Does Buddha know who Siddhananda is?
Buddha does not know who Siddhananda is
Do the angels know who Siddhananda is?
The angels do not know who Siddhananda is
Does the earth know who Siddhananda is?
The earth does not know who Siddhananda is
Do the stars know who Siddhananda is?
The stars do not know who Siddhananda is
Do the heavens know who Siddhananda is?
The heavens do not know who Siddhananda is
Does the sun know who Siddhananda is?
The sun does not know who Siddhananda is
Who is Siddhananda?
I don't know

hearing next phase is beginning....

there is an image of cherry blossoms against a full moon
Mary is here and hearing Christ is here too....

7:54 AM

some visions still coming ...
most of yesterday did not feel the imagery strong -- so much less so than the days prior..
then, what i saw were my feet dangling down -- different shoes were on my feet (as the different forms lived in and lives walked).. such clear, sharp imagery as before -- there was a hole in the rocky substance i was standing on that opened up a bit with light penetrating through...
then, my vision was brought up close to the hand of it felt like a woman, she wore stunning gold on her fingers, brilliant gold .. her attire was rich, brightly jeweled, opulent, lux are the words that come to mind... this imagery is much clearer, brighter than real life...
i was able to zoom in on this imagery as before when doing the work and feel and *see* each curve, cut, shimmer and vibration of beauty through my form, mind and spirit...
since not feeling the imagery for even part of a day, it was like, "wow, i could see like that!" almost as if i had forgotten the feeling like, "there it is!" as if i had found again a part of my way that seemed so normal (as it had been going on for so long - waving in and out for years)...  same as if i have brown hair -- no big deal in a way.. just kind part of who i am... but now seeing it again like this, it felt amazing and cherished in a different way entirely...

back to the rock imagery, I heard, if you go in there Siddhananda you will lose everything (in terms of these cosmic visions and such).. this hole opened and it was felt that i was floating within it ..

i am sorry, i do not remember the sequence of these visions, but hopefully you get the feel.. i am writing it somewhat for myself too for when this *seeing* in this way is lost, i can read it again and remember this time...

then, some imagery came through of remembrances...
of *seeing* brilliant diamonds, perfectly cut with reflections of the world dancing within it .. zooming in on experiences of souls on the other side, their lives, what they were wearing, their countenance and having a peak at their internal emotional life...
as well as being able to read the book of their soul.. the *feeling* of it being *right there*, so bright and clear...
being deeply immersed in the scenery of nature, so glorious...
as if being at the heartbeat of mother earth, rich and dark with her fine way that gives the gift of the seasons...the gift of earth energy of love and light, birth, death, decay and regeneration - so generous in her giving -- at the center of it cleansing, cleansing, always cleansing...
having the honor of being brought into the cave of spirit where the lingum sits dark and mysterious, rich in feeling and depth and love ... and going right into that lingum too as a doorway opened and i was taken there to view the passing of scenery in such a graceful manner and how it relates to the journey of awakening...
*seeing* new fresh growth and brightening of precious life occur right before the eyes in a  miraculous way...
feeling the dance of bright souls in their joy and transformation...
being taken through mystic doorways of light and beauty so vivid, angelic, heart wrenchingly beautiful and precious in it's feeling, love and grace...
viewing the sky, the clouds, the waterfalls (clear and rinsing), the birds flight, sunrise and set ... the ocean waves crashing up close and personal...
viewing and flying through above and below and within the earth mountains as soft light breaks through.. dreamlike and magical...
and of course seeing the moon, the moon -- with all it's dynamic phases and changes that give bright mystery to the sky daily...
and also brought into the cave of death where horrors occur and hearts and spirits are left broken, yet drenched still in grace through this showing...
all of these scenes viewed up close, crystal clear and vivid in their dance...

oh grace, you have given me the best seat in the house of this fine viewing... you have given me the best seat in the house, of this i am beyond appreciative
as always it is not my will, but thy will -- and i do desire for this journey to complete -- if it means being without these visions, so be it ...


now the curtain is closing on this show slowly, little by little .. one day i will read this writing and look back and say really, i was given the privilege of seeing all of that?... how heart achingly beautiful, strange and mysterious...