spirit blessing...

i was once not knowing of this life of spirit
i knew only what was thought of or felt about
the next life
but then, this experience of communion found
me and when it did, i shed tears of not wanting it
for i did not want more phenomena
thru this communion though, i came upon my past life and
it was a shock, but there was much clearing of that as well
as understanding of what carries over
into this lifetime..
it helped in that way, even though it was hard to hear of
the experiences had in the past..
then, the other side came through with blessings of clearing
and blessing for others that were aching ...
and blessings of all sorts and varieties and this was good
and helped to lighten this feeling of not wanting to be
open to this realm..

Shiva comes again...

i am still getting the yes, no answers to questions in my
mind (though i do not purposely engage this)..
it is like when the mind wonders about something, sometimes
one is not even aware of doing this and instead of being left
not knowing, the answer comes of
yes/no .. or maybe or 50/50 chance...
what i have been shown is a bulls eye and the arrow may hit the
mark in the middle with something, but sometimes it does not or
it is farther from the middle... meaning (less chance)...
also, this is only the reading or temperature of the moment in a way
as the climate is forever changing in the cosmos and the next minute
there could be something different...
so, this getting questions answered is still occurring ..
sometimes it is spelled out for me.. written out ...
especially if the mind still wonders as a way to say, YES or
NO and re-emphasizee the answer...


here is the vision of the morning which just came
while sitting here ....

there was an image of shiva in my mind
his presence was the same as always, blue,
ethereal and not of this world
he was decked out in the symbology of awakened consciousness
then, i heard, "diamond purity" i have not seen that kind of
brilliant detail for several days in that way
and i just remembered it...
then, i heard, do you want to see that way again Siddhananda?
and the diamond started coming into view (not as clear as before though)..
it was twirling in space coming forward
and i said, "no i do not desire that...my desire is to enter realization.
whatever needs to be taken to have this be so, may it be so ( i have
definitely given off this energy or response many times before, this is not the
first)...
then, Shiva appeared again and he flung the diamond away
and it twirled away from my view...
and he said, "do not dance with this anymore Siddhananda."
and i said, "please, and may it not dance with me anymore."
then, my face was turned upward to him ....it was tear streaked
i was looking into his face...then, he wiped my tears away and with this,
wiped consciousness too, it was felt, as i could feel this
clearing energy move into my being...

i can see this image of Shiva in my mind now as i am writing
he is leaning on one knee and i am there in front of him..
he is a very big muscular male type of energy....he is very handsome
and beautiful...and very, very powerful looking too...
he is wearing his tiger skin around his waist...
he is blue with the chandra (moon) on the side of his head
his hair is long and black with a deep, rich shimmer to it ...sometimes
it flashes red when the light hits it just right, it turns a bright, vibrant red...

then, i felt my body sitting by a clear, running river and i was taking
this water into my mouth....
i was drinking it and pouring it on my head...
shiva appeared above this scene as if he was part of the mountains, clouds
and earth....there were birds flying and the clouds were parted with light
breaking through...
i did hear also (regarding shiva), he opened this for you and he will close
it too (so that the mind can enter that purity)...

hopefully this is why Shiva is around more now, to aid in completing
this process...
his presence has been very stilling to  consciousness...



om shanti

More on Shiva..

this souls is the best i can write of this time
i am not attempting to be anything but honest
you know, i just let the hands move and what comes
comes out as if the hands are moved by grace/spirit

shiva was here awhile ago
he comes off and on in the mind and leaves his
feeling of purity there
when he comes, he does not say anything or
impart wisdom in that way
he just is present and touches my forehead
with his light
this is all really ....
he is not of this world for sure
he is a reality of purity as the dove in the moonlight
he sings of this with stillness in his eyes
his hair is long and beautiful as he is so
beautiful
his eye that is the extrasensory eye or middle eye
sees all without seeing anything
it captures the beauty of all the cosmos in one glance
it takes it in and dispels the illusion that it is separate
it works it into nothingness that is full
it works it into dust and blows it away
then the seeing eye is clear of obstructions
the knot on his head holds the ganges river
she is so powerful that he holds her there
and she flows from this knot like a wonderful
fountain of joy
the chandra or moon on his head is indicative of time,
phases, cycling, as well as change
and transformation of the soul (in it's time)..
the ashes are the dust of attachment, he has burned them up
the attachment to form, the attachment to mind, the attachment
to experience, the attachment to identity, the attachment to *other*
the attachment to the desire to be something different, something better
or what have you...
he embodies all of these things and so much more as he is completely
untouched of the world
he comes off and on to my consciousness with a bright feeling of om
and unconditional being
i am simply present to that when it happens and do not think anything
about it at all truly ...

this is all the writing that is coming now
may all rest well and feel this purity of spirit in the being
and be blessed with love and light

om shanti

beautiful spirit woman

while walking up the stairs i felt my hair was braided, someone braided it and brushed their hand
lovingly and sweetly on the top of my head and their hand went down the braid, it was such a loving,
gentle motherly touch, so deeply sweet and affectionate.. i felt some stars sparkling with this touch of
the cosmos...
then some sweet blue, red and white beads were placed at the bottom of the braid..

then i saw a wonderful face of an old native american woman with lovely wrinkles.. her skin was dark olive and beautiful, her eyes sparkled, her hands were held together in prayer....she was looking up at the blue sky with white fluffy clouds as if she was so happy to have me as a child of spirit..
she was looking up at the heavens as if saying bless this child of spirit ...
she was so beautiful and it felt touched by grace, angels, wisdom, earth, stone, eagle, tree, and rich, rich compassion with great love that overflowed in her being ... what a presence!..

she is still here with white beautiful hair, she touches my head and puts her hand to my chin and lifts my face to look at hers ... beautiful spirit woman she is, so beautiful are her eyes and soul...
she would take any in as her child, she says come, yes.. she is growing bigger at the idea of it ...
come she says, to me, my children of the heart...

Shaman vision and a replaying of events...

i am up writing this early morning hour to bring the new vision of the day
while i was lying in bed a shaman woman appeared
she was heavy and sturdy in stature
she had some type of braided hair that was kind of rolled into a circle on her head
on both sides
she was for sure the most potent energy felt that has entered consciousness
(in terms of the vision energy)..
she sat with me and what i saw in my mind was an opening being stitched up
it was like a vivid line of stitching and she was quick, like lightening speed
then i heard, "shaman mother" this is what i am in nature
and she said, no more of this Siddhananda, now dream time is vanishing
and from there i was immediately in a trance type of state of empty fullness
it felt as if there was kind of a veil there that had been stitched and thru the veil
i felt and saw the shaman nature dance of energy
much imagery of animals, mountains, birds, sun, rain, sky, clouds
floated through
then a great break of light shone, very translucent and left the mind still
as ever
then i heard spirit woman of the sky, the clouds, the winds, the seas
spirit woman
i felt her touch my hands (as they were hurting badly)
they lifted up like a kriya, but they
were lifted by this energy that was shaman
and then i heard,
over and over again; sha-man, sha-man, sha-man power enter
sha-man, sha-man power enter, sha-man power
and this kept vibrating and resounding thru consciousness for
quite some time
and my hands were twitching and moving
and then i could see the clouds and sky in my hands and arms
and lightening too...
and i heard, you deserve this Siddhananda, you are an angel
or purity and light,  you have the mystic eye, the spirit eye
this was heard and she was there and behind her was a face of a male shaman
they two were one it was felt
also, it was heard tantra and shaman energy are similar as they are
both made of primal fire and this energy was felt as black and red
smoldering energy, alive (heavy) and very combustible
the other thing this shaman woman said was, stay away from that
sorcerer energy as he is no good
and it was indicated that this was ego.. it was the mayaic type of energy
of magic, the illusion of mind ... she said stay away from that
tell all to stay away from that ..
that is not in alignment with pure spirit, not in the least
and she said, just be still
then what manifested was Guruji's doilies that she works on, they
were floating
around in space, all the different colors (i believe spirit likes her work
she is doing with sewing)...
and the next thing that came was shown so clearly...
Guruji and I were walking into the crystal shop (as we were today)
we stopped and looked at the hearts that were embedded in the cement
and went in
this was shown like a vision of clarity, just as if it was happening, but i was
witnessing it
i chose a card there that had aquarius on it (which is my zodiac sign) that i really liked
and when i got it i stared at it for awhile and brushed my hand over the picture imagery
that i thought was beautiful and then brought it over to Guruji
this is the part i read to her from the card, "In Greek mythology, Aquarius was the Rain God
who poured water onto a parched world below." and then Guruji said, um hum....
and then went back to collecting her rocks.. and spirit said this created a wave
(that was good)..
and then it showed an image of the card and what was inside it and the way i set it
up in my room... showing that it was liked very much ..
the wood by it, the crystal and the lotus flower...
and the writing inside, that was shown...
and i heard, G was absorbed in getting her rocks, she said they were going to be for her
that they were her rocks... she said she would put them in her room...
and this repeated a few times...she said they were her rocks, that they were just for her
and then it zoomed in on the box she was holding with the rocks she chose
and showed the ones i chose as well...
then it showed Guruji at the counter getting ready to pay, i could see her back and stature
so perfectly just as if it were her right there.. and it was as if i was standing behind her
and looking at her
then an energy moved towards her and this was all .. i don't know .. it all felt good
as she was at the desk, i was admiring a dream catcher chakra hanging that was so sweet
each chakra had a bright color to it and there were soft feathers coming from it
i was touching the feathers and really liking the way it looked
i was shown the image of that and heard Siddhananda liked this
and when G came over, she really liked it too... she lit up and really liked it too...
then i heard, G and Siddhananda were at the crystal store today...
and then i saw us walking out of the store and when the door opened, it opened up to
those spreading trees that were wonderful, with huge branches in which ivy was intertangled
on them and other types of plants too...
we both said how we really enjoyed them and were talking about them
i heard again G and Siddhananda were at the crystal shop

this imagery unfolded as i said just as if i was viewing it like a movie on replay... there was zooming in of some things and the opening of the door with the great trees can still be seen in my mind ..
crystal clear and stunning in it's imagery...

it feels like spirit just wanted to say that we were seen there and that all is well with that flow...

om shanti

spark of creation

what i have not said is that the eye of the seer 

is crystal clear 

like glass in it's viewing 

it is not darkened by the sense of ego when it 

works 

it simply reflects the cosmos that dance in the ethers 

and the stars and the lights (spirits) of the planetary creations 

it sings of the time of the spark of creation when it 

is in it's dream state 

it is like a viewing of the dream reality that flows in it's 

wonderment 

she is inside the cave of the sadhu and sees and smells 

it's earthen way and feels it's cool interior 

and deep in the heart of it sits the lingum black, rich 

and of the heaven energetic type of consciousness 

she was transported there in the spirit time, 

traveling fast and needing no vehicle .. 

also she went to the mountains and sat in there, so filled with 

raw natural energy, so beautifully pure in it's feeling 

she went to the heavenly realms, there, waterfalls drenched
her being

oh love, what coolness, heaven like 

so much of this occurred, so much of this has passed 

and much is still flowing forward to be rinsed away in the 

cosmic eye of God 

seer i am, so are you dear 

for i see you and you see me 

i know you do 

i am your soul and you are mine 

like a dance of one 

not two 

play with me on the hills here now 

for i love this world so much

but not like a one that is attached 

it is like a love that is free 

it is like a love that is full of grace

it sings in me like moonlight on still waters 

it stirs my heart to be in love each moment 

it cleanses me as rivers that are clear 

it brings fresh flowers to my soul like a sweet lover 

it frees me of my confusion

it lights me up with fire heart 

it sends me messages of hope and gives me great 

feeling of an arrival coming forward 

and an illusion that is being healed 

it wonders not ever, for it just knows what is 

and it is never negative, not even a drop

but always positive 

it is this interaction with spirit that is now

it is this heart shining that is here now

as Siddhananda

but lord knows that this will be gone too 

and merge as one knower, one seer, one heart 

one reality 

one being 

not two, not two