how wondrous is she

she has a way about her

that lights the night on fire 

with one word or glance 

that comes from stillness 

and a beautiful presence 

that is like a heart 

that loves for loves sake 

it cannot be denied when 

one is with her 

the beautiful aura that shines 

and glows as a halo

always about her form 

and face and figure 

like a white linen cloth

that has not been soiled 

is her nature 

she comes into a room

and the playful thoughts 

go scurrying about 

into their darkness 

where they cannot be 

seen or heard 

she has a way about her 

that is like the moon full

and glorious 

on the most deep dark night 

for she sings songs that 

are of the life force 

that are of the universal one 

without saying a word really

her heaven comes to shine 

in you when you are near 

she is like this 

she does not look to make a friend 

anywhere 

or look to take away anything 

that is of your natural way

or look to add to you or subtract 

but loves you as you are 

and guides with still presence 

and then lo, the mind is quiet

and beautified as God is 

oh my friends she is like 

this and much, much more 

because the mind does not 

know how deep love goes 

in the quiet depths of the soul

it is so rich and so sparkling with clarity 

and she gives this to those that are open

without knowing it ever 

for she is the coming of joy 

that lives in your spirit 

she lives in the playful way

she lives in the open

how wondrous is she 

how ripe with youth

and joy

oh love she is your soul

in it's purity 

and you are in her 

and she is in you

how very precious 

the monastic life

in the past when the climate was

pure for seeking 

seeking was much honored

and not put aside or taken casually

those that were renunciates took to the 

path in it's traditional way

which was to don the ochre robes 

and wear the ornaments that spoke 

to the monastic life 

which were varied in their nature 

but very much honored and seen

as marks of a heart that was in the 

contemplative order 

when a monk takes to this life 

he is as a person that

has renounced responsibilities

such as rearing family and working 

in the world 

this type of undertaking has as it's base 

great meaning and purpose 

it is to keep the mind focused on God 

the monastic is to be always disciplined 

in the way of putting the eyes 

on the light in terms of scriptural reading 

and contemplation

he lives in a secluded area because he 

is as an island to himself in a way

as he is the sole being that is responsible 

for his journey

and there is no one else that can walk it for him

he is the one that is the keeper of the faith

and he is the one that is the protector of his silence 

he is the one that is the guard of his kingdom

he is the one that lets enter into his paradise 

seeds of untruth or seeds of great blessings 

that grow in the form of quietude and joy

not any one else plants these seeds 

he is the one that waters the blessings 

or destroys them by looking to the impure thought 

the monastic is not a person of the world 

he is as a soul in love with God 

which means he is in love with the SELF 

that is in his own soul

when there is quietude within his mind 

he finds joy in this 

when there is silence that has no personhood in it 

he finds great sustenance in this 

which steadies him to move on into the 

unshakeable stillness in which no experience 

can touch 

he is like a mystic 

as a sadhu that wanders to the light 

he is the same 

the monastic life has it's purpose that is 

good and pure 

but as this path shows when one can be steady

in stillness while in the world 

this stillness will be very solid 

and not easily moved 

as this is much, much harder ...

but can be done 

and will come to those hearty journeyers 

that are true inside and seek pure life 

this will indeed come 

for now onward..

amazing grace

he wanted only for *his life*

to be good and full of things 

that brought happiness 

he did not understand that true 

happiness resided in his own soul 

when the coverings fall away

and that what was termed 

*his life* 

was as false as the shadow 

that dies at the arising of light 

he did not know that 

wanting to cling to *his life* 

as a separate thing 

was what was bringing suffering 

so he went thru life this way 

but when the Guru came 

he found that he had misunderstood 

so much

as that which he thought was real

and true before 

was challenged to the core 

and began to fall away like 

meat from the bone 

he then was able to see clearly 

what is true and false 

and how he was his own worst 

enemy to believe the mind 

in his ignorance he did not know 

but once his eyes were opened 

as painful as it was to see 

his mistaken knowledge

he could no longer go back

to the traps that brought 

only a seeing that was 

caged in conceptual understandings

and conceptual judgements that 

arose from conditionings long ago

how very false they were 

he then moved forward 

into the heat of Kali's fire

sometimes not even aware 

that this flame was consuming 

the underpinnings of his world 

that was held up by false beams 

of thought and conditionings 

kali's fire was consuming these

beams and moorings 

little by little 

until the whole structure was to fall

into the sea that was the life force of all

in this walk to the truth 

he did not know his life was never truly his 

to begin with 

for what he called his world was a private thing

and this was not real

it was as a dreamer dreaming 

it was as an illusion on the hot dunes 

in the desert that one races after again and again

he was not aware of any of this 

until the Guru appeared 

and set his little private reality to flame 

had he not stepped into the flames 

where would he be now? 

lost in some other place within his head 

as all that are lost in the world 

set out to find that which can never 

be obtained 

and thru his deep desire to be free and 

out of suffering he came upon this path 

though he knew not what he was asking for 

and what that meant 

because before,

the righteous path was 

merely a *concept* in mind 

and now to *live* it and embody this truth

how completely different than a philosophy 

about it 

how completely more real this was

onward he went 

his private reality fading fast
as mist on the ocean

and this was a very good thing my friends 

as what replaces this world

that he has guarded and protected

so fiercely

is sat chit ananda

what amazing grace 

and what good fortune that has come

to his heart 

not two

when he walked thru the forest
there was the call of the animals
and their terrible cries
that echoed in his ears
and made him shiver to the bone
he laid himself down on the earth
to rest awhile and he slept
in his dream there was a man
that came to him
and told him of his true self
the man said he was as a light
that did not sorrow
and did not change
but was clear
and beautiful in fullness
this man in his dream said
that God was one and in all
and of all
when he awakened
he felt refreshed
and sturdy ready to go on
he felt a new breath of life in his bones
and got up to move forward
his mind was not yet still
but he did not worry about it
for he knew that his heart was
true
and he knew his way was clear
if he were to stay steady
as his Guru instructed
he walked thru this thick forest
which was as the sensual world
with it's dance that tempted
and said here i am come and enjoy
these fruits that are tasty
and will bring pleasure (and pain)
come and chase after me
for i am the dance of mara
i am the tempting goddess
that puts a spell of duality on you
oh come dear seeker and find
me dancing and singing of creation
and holding a fruit in my hand
that looks so ripe
come eat of it and see
come chase me again and again
this dance was swaying everywhere
it seemed
yet he did not go after it
he instead looked to his heart
that was pure as the unruffled water
and this is where he went to find succour
he went to his own soul
that was quiet
though his feet burned from walking so long
and his mouth was dry
and his mind was in and out of quietude
he walked on through the forest
he laid down at night under the stars
and moon
and listened to the roar of the jungle
it sang of something that was
to be mysterious
and he could not tell if it was his own
mind or the sound of something outside
of him
how could there be two?
he thought as he dropped to sleep
he slept dreamless
forgetting his cares
and his questions did not come
they were forgotten
as a door that closes
and leaves the world that he knew behind
his dreams were many times vivid
but not this night
he resided in a timeless realm
that he knew not his former existence
when he awoke he felt again
that he knew himself not
as he was
he got up and was not at all
in the spell of mara
what an odd thing
that he could not find himself
as he was
but he moved on and
eventually melted into the truth
like a ray of light
that was poured into the sun
he was in himself
like a true being
not two, not two
this was the beginning
of life
and he walked on
as before
still and at peace

radiant

when me and mine 

fade 

as the sunset fades 

into the dark night 

then what is real

is revealed 

is a living reality

that has never changed 

it is revealed 

as the moon is revealed 

when the clouds 

dissipate

the night then 

is lit 

with this glow 

that is full

and it is not to be denied 

in the sky

so very self evident

this is the one heart 

my friends 

it is the light 

that knows not anything 

but still waters 

it is the radiant presence 

that is single 

it is the radiant light 

that is one 

one truth

the many flow

from the same source

like a bloom of creation

that is embedded in the

one soil of truth

constant

in freedom you and me

are but a dream

on the waves that pass on

on the waves that roll 

on and dissolve 

the sea remains 

constant 

not different

a man came today

in the night 

he walked alone 

and silent 

he held his staff in hand 

he walked steady

on the ground of being 

not faltering 

and going backward 

but ever forward 

where the dawn was 

breaking over the mountain

range 

his eyes were not focused 

on the shadow nature 

that rose and fell

but inward was his glance 

as the single pointed 

awareness

he was not as a man that 

was looking for a goal

wandering to a particular

destination

he was a man 

that was grounded in this moment 

he was not as a man that 

was looking to gather and collect 

not at all

he was letting grace 

take that which occludes 

and that which covers 

as a veil

his eyes and heart 

away 

he was not anything special

outwardly to be looked upon

he was not anything different

in his form that moved 

as all forms do

he was a man of heart 

a heart that is in all hearts 

not different 

he was as you and me 

within grace always 

he was as the fresh rains

he was as the spacious sky

as you and me 

when the cloud cover 

dissipates

and pure life is revealed

he was simple in heart 

as you and me 

when the covers fall

and the mind awakens 

he was not different than all 

in reality 

he was shanti

he was journeying to the 

soul that is pure

sacred waters within

have you been to the sacred river?
have you bathed in it
as a wandering monk?
have you put your head in the water
to be purified?
and touched the feet of the holy sage
and shaved your head
and wandered naked in the forests and hills
and felt the earth hard under your feet
as a blessing of spirit?
have you sat in the caves where all is quiet
and of the earth cold and bare?
have you placed your shoes on the ghats
and walked into the waters that rush in vigor
so powerful as to be felt deeply within?
have you met the sage on the banks
where he sits on the stairs?
he is the one that is the far seer
he is not of the world and it's false ways
he sits on the bank
where he is like a beautiful seer
that knows all
and knows nothing
he is the one that is deathless
he is the one that is shanti
he is the one that is free
he stays pure as the lotus above the mud
as the water rushes with flowers of devotion
that float by
the seeker walks into the waters naked
and in this way he is purified
he is purified in truth
he is like the sage in beauty
because he has come to the waters
to be drowned in love and light
like the sage
he is the same now
he knows this well
as he is what the heart is
full and undying

have you come to the sacred river
to be lifted out of the mind shell?
to be purified as love?
to be like shiva nature?
where he resides on the mountain top
in deep meditative still being
where he is not touched by any change
no matter how good or bad
for he lives like a king of himself
like a king that resides in deep beauty
he lives like a filled vessel of truth
he lives like the mind made pure
he lives as timeless reality
have you come to be like him?
have you come to the edge of your world
and kept going
into the heart where all is in quiet,
gentle flow like shiva?

so much better

when kali is alive and living 

as stillness 

she is then in the form

of truth

that has once laid coiled 

at the seat of the spine
and when awakened

moves as a snake 

through the passages 

(the chakras)

bringing forth debris 

in consciousness to be seen

and released

the debris moves thru

consciousness

and changes occur that 

are not at all within the norm

for the one experiencing them

it is like an opening of energy

and divine flow 

that moves the form 

into kriyas, mudras 

verbalizations 

lights, visions
and perceptual shifts

flood the being 

on many levels 

this is some of the
phenomena that can occur

it can be frightening if 

one does not understand it 

and even when one does 

it is difficult 

the one that is in the heart 

and has an energetic connection

with Guru

will move thru the 

experiences much better 

than if there is no such 

connection in place

the one that has a thirst for 

truth and is honest 

and sincere 

will move thru the shifts 

much better than 

if there are poor motives 

inside 

even under the best 

circumstances 

it is difficult 

this is for certain

there are so many changes,

shifts and then balancing out 

stillness, then back to mind 

and all the rest in between

it is not something that 

comes easily

(the peace that passes
all understanding)

it does not happen over night 

by any means 

it can take lifetime(s)

of steady efforts 

surrender and continuing 

forward into the fires 

yet it is worth it all

in the end 

to be within quietude 

and deep peace 

for what else is there worth

having?

the mind may tell you

there are so many things 

that will bring happiness 

but have you been in quietude

awhile?

you will know differently

that the best of the best 

is a quiet, peaceful mind 

nothing can compare 

and all that you *thought*

would bring happiness vanishes 

as a dream dreamt long ago

then that which is pure 

lives as a steady abiding peace 

so very much better than

anything mind generated 

torch of understanding

"go and sin no more"

these are the words in the bible 

which means to not 

go back to the darkness 

that wreaked havoc on the spirit

this means to not take departures 

from the righteous path 

that bring one away from truth 

because a man cannot be pure 

if he continues to dip into the 

source of impurity which is thought 

he must instead dip into the well of knowledge 

that has come from the lips of 

completed masters 

the masters tongue is pure 

and words flow that are not 

tainted by the world 

they flow from the source directly

like a river of grace 

in these words is shakti 

lit with the torch of understanding 

as the lamp is lit with ghee 

so the words of the Guru 

are lit with understanding 

the ones that hear these words 

and are in the way of wanting 

freedom sincerely

take in these words like soul food 

and keep taking it in 

as if the life was dependent on it 

because there is not anything else 

that will give so purely as the 

master that is in heart 

will give 

the mind wants to believe that 

there is something else that will 

bring happiness 

but truly only a completed master 

will give what is needed to break thru

conditioned bonds of egoism

and destroy the energy of mara

for this energy is not easily put down 

and this energy is to need a stronger force 

that sends it to sleep and die away 

in the heart 

this one is the master that has 

risen from the dust of experience 

and can now speak to the ins and outs 

of the journey as if it was a map for those 

souls that are in need of joy, harmony

and lasting peace 

this one points the way to the heart 

and the seeker follows inward to the SELF 

the master knows the heart as this is where 

he abides always 

not tethered to the world and it's ups and downs 

not tethered to the changes that come 

he is in the heart free always 

he speaks from here to aide the seeker 

to go inward and find out for himself 

the truth 

that is not shaken by any experience 

he points inward always to the source 

of all

and the seeker is to go inward 

trusting the words and guideance 

as a young one trusts his 

elder 

and not question constantly why, why

but to find out 

seek it out 

find the source 

and then come and say why, why

but these types of questions will not rise then

for they are all put to rest in the heart 

where mind is not active 

and love and light and peace 

are the center 

which is the most glorious presence

and is the gem of true worth

everpresent

oh monks and seekers

live out your days in righteousness

live not apart from the sun (the truth)

as this will make your life 

one of honor 

beauty and deep mystery

that will not forsake you

even at the moment of death

as all fades with the
rise of the sun

this eternal one 

will never 

ever die 

oh monks and seekers

make the journey to yourself 

in earnest 

for you cannot know yourself 

without knowing the one 

you cannot know the heart 

without first dying to the truth 

then all is set right 

all is made clear 

all is in it's balanced way

be like this 

be real

be the buddha that you are 

lilly of white

oh monks and seekers 

be not in the way of the world 

the world is gone in an instant

and will not offer any steady

sustenance for the soul

be in the way of light 

that takes not the soul to 

waters of impurity

but brings fresh rains 

of grace to the heart 

and awakens love and light 

as a lilly of white 

that does not ever whither 

but is fresh and pure always 

as it knows nothing 

but this moment

stable in grace

so easy friends

to spin stories of untruth when there has been

no coming close to the fires in a sincere way

the mind is so very convincing when one 

is in the throes of this confusion
and there is no space

to step back and witness 

what is taking place 

it is this type of thing that gets people 

going on dark paths 

it is like satan as he was in the choir 

of angels to begin with 

and wanted something for himself 

so he fell from this place of light 

into darkness where clear seeing 

vanished quickly 

this is what happens to ones that 

go off on tangents of twisted stories 

and seeking to confirm what is 

so very egregious and distorted 

the mind is like a child and given 

room it will roam and become 

bigger and bigger in it's way 

of seeking untruth

then one has moved so very far away

from the core of perfection

what a sad thing 

but when one is seeking love and light

in sincerity 

there is no need to fear about this 

type of thing 

as one will not be turned away

into false roads that lead to 

no good end 

one will move forward into facing 

the mind with it's false ways 

with the stability of grace that is 

given by Guru

what a blessing

for when the mind stills 

there are not these interpretive dramas 

that play out and haunt the being 

with such delusion

there is only beauty, truth
and light
what is better than this?

the staff

a mystic carries his staff

(representative of Guru's teachings

and grace)

like a one that could not 

be sturdy without it 

he carries it to steady himself

as he moves thru 

the ups and downs of the world 

he carries it to be not afraid 

and disturbed by 

any experience no matter how 

joyous or how biting 

he carries it to set himself 

on the righteous path until 

the heart is entered 

and peace is an abiding 

experience 

he carries it to let no thoughts 

be in charge of his journey

for he does not know the way

to the heart 

he does not know the turns 

and the passages that will come 

around the corner 

he does not know when it will end 

but he does not worry
as he has within his heart
the guiding force
of non-dual wisdom that shines
when he finds himself in hard times 

he goes to his own soul 

to be within what is right 

within quietude he dwells

he does not resist experience 

but surrenders into what 

comes as a wave that passes

and breathes and relaxes 

in the heart 

always moving this way

without fear or anxiety

he does not see without the grace given 

he cannot be clear without the grace given

he cannot be steady without the grace given

so onward into himself he sinks 

into this way of unknowing that will 

bring in it's time 

the greatest blessing of all of life 

realization

stillness 

freedom

the peace that passes

all understanding 

this is the journey of the mystic

set the table

set the table for the one

this is not hard to do

if you breathe air of gratitude 

and honor what is given as grace 

if you lay your thinking down

and come and sit in the moment 

that is freely given 

then you have set the table 

to eat of that which is good 

and righteous 

on the table there are many flavorful 

foods that you can enjoy 

one is the smile of being fully present 

the other sweet music of life

that flows

and another thankfulness

for this time given to seek the heart 

another is the teachings that you can take 

a big heaping of 

they will go down easy if you are open 

in heart and mind 

what else is there on the table? 

that which takes away separation

it is the best of all

may you partake of it heartily

as it is the life force

that cannot perish no matter what 

so here are the blessings 

enjoy and may you 

be stable in seeking 

that which is 

peace eternal

where is there to go?

striving for perfection
is like striving to be
something else
but you are *now* love and light
so there is nothing to strive for
only to be quiet in your heart
and be living
purely in this moment
then what is there to strive for?

striving like a person that is
to reach somewhere
is like being in a splendid garden
and feeling left out
but how can this be true
when the heart is within all
and cannot be outside?
so what is there to struggle with
but to be in this presence freely
in this stillness
it will be seen as
your own soul
splendid

striving as something to be reached
is like a king in his rich quarters
that sees it not
but says, i must go elsewhere
to find my treasure
yet here it sits in fullness
where is there to go?

striving as a creature to become
something other
is like a poor lamb
seeking it's mother
when she is right beside him
and *in* him always
what distress comes from this
but have no fear
for she is your very heart
and cannot die

grace in charge

it is only when the cacophony

of mind dies and stillness is born

that pure life is freed to be known

without the *direct experience* of stillness 

there is no understanding 

of that which is false 

there is no true seeing 

there is only a *concept* of silence 

which is as far away from the truth 

as ever 

the mind cannot die without surrender 

surrender is imperative for the heart to 

be made manifest

it cannot shine otherwise

the mind is to be a servant to heart 

as the ox is to the master

it is surrendered to the one in charge 

which is grace 

it is not to be calling the shots 

like one that is in the drivers seat 

and making all the moves 

and commands to go here and there 

and this is this way

and that is that way

but it is to be still and surrendered to 

the light that is so pure 

then what comes is spontaneous 

and not of planned action

that has expected outcomes and all of this 

which is of intellect 

this is not correct vision my heart friends 

what is correct is *heart* vision

that is not in mental unrest like the mind 

so take this pointing to the soul

and be relaxed in stilled presence 

like a being of grace that you are 

be quiet 

be still

be in love with the moment 

and do not go outward in thought 

this is the flow of writing 

that has come this evening
may stillness reign

great night and om

spirit true

the ego is the little
and not the mystery
let it go my love
as a wave that dies
and sheds it's appearance
to become the source
let it go as a burden
finally thrown off
into the sea that takes
away that which is heavy
in nature
and gives of itself
only lifting light
so full and dancing
in freedom
so like shiva in his dance
in which ego is destroyed
underneath his precious feet
that are grounded in the absolute
in which kali is the play then
the lila, the dance, the fragrance
of reality
it is this joy that is to be born
in you my love
it is this joy that is perfect
it is this joy that is to be as a
night that is fully lit
yet you are not convinced yet
oh seasoned traveller
what will make you believe
that you are spirit true
and that you cannot be out of SELF
not for an instant

oh seasoned sadhu
oh seasoned seeker
you have walked this road for many a day
and year
have you a stopping place to be in
the earth of now
that is here always in your heart?
have you a stopping place to be
in yourself quiet and peaceful?
if you make this life a journey
that unfolds to bring happiness
why not now my dear
be happy and still?
be light in nature and not
restless inside always
you have a breath to take
take it now
and relax
into the mystery
that is as grace is
purely intelligent
and will unfold what needs to play out
in the right time
be settled now
and rest in the heart
be still

a mighty wave

oh my dear

love has not been lost 

it is now like a light 

under covers 

it is now as a misty 

feeling in your being 

it is now like a quiet 

whisper in your soul

in it's quiet way

it is speaking

to be in yourself fearlessly 

to be in your life fully present 

to be in the way of beauty 

that has no other

this pull that calls you on

to be in truth and light 

can it be a swell like a mighty wave

now? 

as it rises in it's presence to take over 

the mind 

and drown it in light that has in it 

no suffering 

no sting 

no burden 

only priceless freedom

only mind fresh within emptiness 

that does not grasp

or make up stories any longer 

about this and that

and you and me 

how very untrue this energy

that comes from nowhere 

do not cling to it 

my friends 

for it is not to be a light to the soul

it is like an empty playing out 

on the sea of deep mystery

on the sea of the constant 

this energy of mind moves

look deeper and see 

what is here that is lasting 

and be in truth 

be a sage in this life 

and do not wait 

for this is the heart of your soul

in it's best presence 

it is the heart of your soul

in it's awesome being 

it is the heart of your soul

in it's finest coming out 

yet you are not convinced yet?

oh my dear 

be still and be in it 

and you will laugh at yourself 

for believing this way of the false 

that never was *you* in reality

but only a ripple 

that goes on 

to be dissolved 

in the SELF 

that lives forever

eternal

love made true

leave mind go
then only is the light free to
be revealed
then only is the heart made
to shine
then only is the mind
in it's original state
then only are we, they
and the many
turned to ash
to be in the one of all
then my dear,
only
is love made true