have you seen?

have you seen mt meru?
it is like a burning heart that
sits in majesty
have you seen mt kailash?
it is as the purest form that sits
in light and full presence
have you seen the pure river in india?
or spent time in the heart of the caves?
have you taken your soul to the sages?
to be seen by God eyes
and heard by God ears
and felt by God hands
have you been to where the waters meet
to merge together and flow into the ocean of mother?
have you sat in the sacred forest
and felt the breeze blow on your face?
and felt the moving of the earth under your form?
have you been to the wonders of the world?
and placed your whole being into the experience
as a man that does not know what the
next moment brings?
have you seen the moving clouds in the morning light?
have you seen the flow of the universe?
or have you been asleep to your life?
as a man that does not see or hear or breathe or feel?
as a man that waits for tomorrow to truly live?
as a man that waits for another person to give what is needed
to be free?
if you wait like this, then life passes quickly and your time
is wasted like a seed that blows with the winds
and dies away
never to bloom fully and feel the sun fully
never to be as it should be
in perfect love and light
yet you do not haveto go to the mountains across the world
or the rivers across the oceans and continents
but only to find the purity in your own soul
that lives in this moment
as you are now
immersed in what is taking place now
is where it lives
it lives in truth here now

perfect whole

no man can be like himself 

until he is in truth and joy

he only is pure if he lays the coverings 

on the shore 

and goes in the water naked 

to be lifted out of his past that haunts 

if he can go into the water that is 

like the ganges inside himself

then he will put himself in the 

ocean that is as a perfect whole 

that begins to take the dross away

and shines the light on the false 

to be seen as it is 

(a shadow that has no substantial presence 

or power in itself) 

a man that lets his thoughts die to the well 

of wisdom like this

will be himself in perfect being 

and will aide humanity to be liberated

by simply being quiet and settled 

in reality 

then what happens is love becomes the center 

and this is the highest blessing

for those that are in need and want of 

finding God 

what is more important than God?

it is like the sun that is life itself 

it cannot be taken away

and burnt or destroyed 

it gives of itself in pure love 

what can be more essential

than this?

try to be still dear souls 

because when there is quiet 

then all that was there before that seemed

so distressing or so alluring or so 

important 

will perish and then the mind is calm

and tranquil

like shiva and Guru

and the mystic that has come to the end 

of the path 

that opens up to pure life 

which is not of the personal way

or of the suffering mental waves 

any longer 

no more of this then arises in a mind that 

knows God fully and completely

no more of this arises to a one that is shorn 

of all that sings of *other*

oh my precious ones, 

have you been even a moment in quiet wonder
like this?

then you will say,

my friend, i know what you are speaking of 

i know because i have tasted a moment of this quiet 

and this was so complete that i wanted for nothing 

and i cried not and desired not 

and there was nothing but a fullness that was of all and nothing 

at the same time 

and due to this experience i am going forward to be a light 

and i know not what awaits around the corner 

but i am venturing into the fires like a sadhu and a mystic

and will be as the love that i am inside where 

there is nothing but pure light 

her ocean song...

come friend, live for once
the trees are in perfect bloom

the waters are tranquil here where the heart lives 

the fallen blossoms from the trees blow with the warm winds 

to die away in the light 

but there is no sorrow here ever 

for the full beauty forever resides in this light 

come friend, trust this God that is inside of you

and be like the right man and woman that you are 

for you came here on wings of the earth and the sky

and the love that blooms 

you were breathed from the womb of mother 

she has raised you well with her song of joy

she has blessed you with knowledge so rich like the heavens 

she has touched you with kundalini and opened your mind to 

be like her 

she has kissed you with her mystic vision that is like 

nothing else known 

she has put you to sleep  

with her ocean song of life that never dies 

she has sung to you of her stillness with a sting sometimes 

to arouse you to wake up

and in her song she says, my child

come to me (this heart of yours so pure) 

come and live in me as you are like this always 

come child be still, be still

and when she dances for you in your mind 

how have you taken it?

have you danced along or come down from this dance 

to be still and watch the shadows rise and fall

without getting lost in them?

oh friend she is your mother sweet and forgiving of every

action done or not done 

as she seeds the earth with all that is green and lush 

and lights the sky with bright colors of golden hue 

and falls from the sky sweet pure water to make souls

that ache smile with delight 

and the one drinking can say -- yes, there is no more thirst 

and no more desire for worldly pleasures and ways

and no more chasing after this and that 

there is just rich pure water to drink

there is only life as it *is*

she is this moment dear 

live here and breathe this now and know this truth

it forever lives here
as the heart of all

when she spoke...

when she spoke to her husband

he came close and felt her being as his own soul

he came close and heard her words flow as shakti

these words that came from this pure soul

were like moon beams that brought cooling rays to the 

scorched mind that was within thought 

her words poured out from a stilled heart 

which are not like those minds in the dual realm

where there is a persona speaking about a passing experience

but these words flowed from the source directly

these words cut deep to the core 

and were to restore the mind to it's natural state 

so what did she say to her husband this sage?

she said that non-dual consciousness was not of intellect 

it was not as something gathered and collected 

it was not as something that was newly found and discovered 

it did not belong to anything or anyone
it was revealed when all that was as a dream dissolved
then it came forward as that which has always been
she told her husband to sit and be still
and see what is not of the form,
see what is not of the mental shades
see what is not of the me and mine mentality
and dive in there without hesitation
for if you, my love, can sit with pure consciousness
spoke the wife,
and be of it and in it, then the truth comes naturally
one cannot be entertaining thoughts and know it
not ever
one thought even, is like a shade pulled down over the eyes
but when the thought free state is abided in
then there is an understanding (without understanding)
which means there is a *direct cognition*
of that which exists before birth and that which remains after death
and that which exists in every part in between
oh my husband,
hear these fresh words like cool rains
that come to fall on your soul that aches
that we are as one always
never is there a creature that lives apart from the source
not ever
never is there a single grain of sand
that can live as a separate entity away from the absolute
that has given it life
oh my husband,
is space divided or occluded?
is the sky confined within borders and separation?
not ever, no matter what takes place within it
whether a cloud passes through or not
the sky remains vast and without end
as when you confine yourself to the thought that you are limited to a body
then you indeed feel as if you are only that
but still it is not real, it is just a thought
and my dear heart, how fleeting is this thought?
this thought dissappears in sleep every night
and is reborn again and again ..
look at this deeply and be free of all thoughts and be perfect as you are
then this way love is true
and this way we are as one being always
and the husband looked at his wife with full eyes that took in her
beauty and bright spirit
and drank in her love and light that she so generously opened to him
and he put his forehead to hers and was quiet within
and then he got up and walked away to sit by himself and look at his mind
and see what it was composed of that was transient
and what was to remain as a constant
he sat with this alone
and came upon many states
some were blissful and filled with beauty
and he called his knowledge filled wife to come
and said, my lovely bride that is one always
i am in bliss often and forgetting of my world
is this the reality you speak of?
and this goddess of all spoke gently to her husband saying, my dear
bliss is a very beautiful state and can feel like God
but it is unstable and appears to a persona (though very subtle this
persona may be)
it is not the empty full being that is eternal
keep making efforts my husband and eventually you will be yourself free of
any fetters of mental waves
and the husband sat for many a day and hour looking at the mind
he sat and sat
until he at last entered realization in which all other vanishes away
like it never was


more writing that has similarities to the tripura rahasya (the mystery beyond the trinity)...

forgiven

she forgives you my dear

because you have always been clear  

of all that speaks of mind 

you have always been as the perfect one 

so put your hands that pray down 

and let the heart come forward to shine 

be not afraid of life and of yourself 

be here as the universe that is empty of form

but rests so filled with peace 

in a settled way that is not of me and mine 

hearken to this word 

as a renunciate that is alone 

and of the quiet wandering way

forgiveness is a putting away of the mental baggage 

it is not saying that you are released from this or that action

because there will always be something else coming 

that needs more forgiveness 

but if you let the mind open to the light 

then all that has or has not been done

melts away into the heart 

like a stream that comes to rest in it's source 

then what is there to forgive?

when this *me* energy dies away

who is in need of forgiveness?

she forgives, 

but she is your soul shining bright as the dawn of knowledge 

she is not separate from you 

because there is no such thing as separation in truth 

and what is here is the most forgiven 

and the most lifting of all

but how can you know it friend 

if you are in your soul as a persona?

how can you know the joy of all?

the blossom falls...

a blossom falls from the tree

the summer has come and gone
a young boy looks on in the distance
he will be a man in the blink of an eye
living his own life with it's ups and downs
the water rushes in the river 

and the leaf flows with it 

as the diamond like reflections
dance in the wind
did you experience the stillness 

amongst it all?

as the empty hub of the wheel that turns?

did you breathe the light that weaves 

within every sound and movement?

how quickly it dances on the screen of 

pure life 

never to be grasped and held

how quickly it falls to the grips of death

and another song is born 

in the womb of mother

in a little while,
you will see the sun rise above the mountains

and put your feet on the ground to start a new day

all that is familiar to you will wake up

and say *here i am again*, your old friend 

*me and mine* 

where will you take your mind then?

out to dance with maya?

or sit in the blessing of the simple quiet 

that has never gone from your soul?
oh my friend,
how quickly it dances on the screen
of pure life

when he opens...

a man that thinks
is not a man of truth
because he puts God out
by his thoughts
and puts heart under the
dust of desire
with his mental ways
but he still is like God always
he still is not a separate being
he is so much a living light in truth
and he can be a seeker of joy and light
if he puts away his worldly ways
then he is like a sannyasa
that is in the world
but not scorched by it any longer
how he is so beautiful when he opens like this
he shines then of his own light and love
and the best in him comes forward
of itself
then he is a presence that will ignite the world
to be destroyed of it's darkness
and he will be a perfect one in time
he will be as his own light

more writing flowing...

so what do these ones haveto say on the subject of truth
and the subject of Guru
that are in the shadows
and looking out?
it is like a window that is frosted over
and one can only see a bit of a reflection (if that)
and then all the stories that are created from this
how much suffering these ones minds must be in
how very sorrowful too
when i came here to this path
there was so much love given by Guru that helped these legs to
stand and move forward
as they were very, very shakey for quite awhile off and on
and she gave, with her compassion, strength of soul
and a sturdy path to walk that was to lead to the heart
where all that has come as a dream will perish
she took this soul and helped it to be strong
and filled with a mind that is inward seeing
vs getting lost in the tangents that seemed so enticing to mind
how i did not know, my friends, which way was right truly
i just followed what *i thought was right* and went that way
not knowing that it would only create more branches of mind
to lop off
but when she came and said, "be still"
then i began to relax and see clearer the way
and feel the breeze of life as it is, without a story covering it
without a name and face on it

when i first started many, many years ago seeking by myself
i sat in nature so much from light until deep dark
alone in the woods or by the water
or anywhere that could be felt as a fresh setting in which there
were rocks, trees and birds ... not much was needed ..
even a nice window would do fine ...
and i sat alone, day in and day out
but in a way i had closed the world out and put my heart to the search
in seriousness that was sometimes heavy
with this, i went on though
but when Guru came, she opened the doors and windows and
said, "levity is needed on this journey"...
serious is good, but in balance..
and this was a great relief for i could just relax and enjoy life
what a pleasure
and yet there was still so many layers that came and went
and phenomena
and visions that were all consuming it seemed sometimes
years of it my friends
and still more that flows, but with much much more quietude
how i did not see anything that was coming around the next bend
a Guru, i had no idea about what it would bring
and it has brought the hard road instead of the *harder road*
(which is one of Guru's sayings)...
she is a light that is to be honored and will never cater to ego's whims and ways
in her behavior or words
and this is a blessing for those with the right eyes to see

when i was young i longed for freedom, but knew not what i was asking
and when i was older longed for happiness and knew not what i was asking
and when i was older still, asked to be used for the good of humanity
and knew not what i was asking
and now i simply am quiet so much, with no desires but only this moment
living and being
yet know always of the blessing that has come for sure
in living in this community that are like kindred spirits
and full like a family
but there is something else that is deeper beyond the connections made
a still aloneness that is of one heart and light
it comes when one is relaxed and settled
not struggling to become or understand
may you dear seeker, relax and be yourself
enjoy the moment
and let go

om shanti

nothing more precious

what price is there on freedom?

there is nothing more precious, my heart friends 

and nothing that can be compared in value 

to being still and without suffering.. 

like White Tara

she lived in india in the time when seeking 

was sacred 

she would sit on the hard earth with the sadhus 

and be in deep quietude that was effortless 

when the men or women walked by her 

they would scoff inside themselves or whisper 

how could she be serious sitting there like she does 

she is just playing and not making progress

but she paid no mind to these remarks 

and sat still as a mountain, majestic and perfect 

she put her heart ever forward and knew inside 

without a doubt she was not the form 

that was being looked at and judged 

she was beyond this and rested in the heart of all

which was undying 

once a man came by her and said, 

how is it that you are born a woman and feel

you can reach enlightenment like the men?

and she did not answer this man quickly

or even change her appearance 

but remained still as the pure waters 

of ganga that race about 

and cleanse all that come into it with 

a heart of love

she sat in purity like this 

and finally said, listen to what i haveto say

oh man,

you are not your body or your mind 

because you feel you are these things 

then you see me as being a female body

that is only this 

but i am here to tell you that my heart rests 

eternally in God's light and i will be back again and again

as a female that is awake

to aide in humanity finding that which lies beyond 

suffering 

if this is not in agreement with your concept of how 

realization should look

then i suggest you find a sage that does meet your standards 

and then come back to me and say that you have found 

the perfect Guru that will speak and affirm all that you want to hear

and all that you want to believe 

and tell me then if you are out of suffering 

for if i have tested your beliefs, then this is a good thing 

because those beliefs of yours are faulty and untrue 

you have been deceived by believing that i am a body 

and that you are one too

and this is why you are not peaceful inside yourself 

oh man, 

i have been to the heaven and hell realms 

i have sat in the barren caves alone and contemplated the self 

i have been to vishnuloka and have entered the sublime mountains 

that are of the lord's dwelling 

i have walked into the ganges and sank deep many many times over

i have birthed many children in kingly abodes and simple dwellings 

i have praised shiva and kali and krishna

i have prayed to the heavens with joy and deep devotion

i have lived alone for many a day and year

i have lived in the company of souls of many varieties and ways 

i have entered austerities where my feet bled from walking the plains 

of india alone and without a single companion to be found 

i have ate the dry earth and slept on the cold ground with bugs crawling on my skin

and woke up to pain of body and mind 

oh man,

how i have lived so so many lives seeking and you say to me 

that i cannot be realized because this form is female

tell to me, what you have found in yourself that is pure 

that is not of thought or of the world 

and i will listen soul

but if you have only to walk by and judge, then you are not in truth

or any discernment that is of value 

how can you see rightly when your mind is so mistakenly taking in only

appearances and making judgements? 

so go your way and be in your judgements 

and leave me here to be within peace that is unwavering 

and she sat peaceful and still

and did not move for a long time 

so still was she that even the birds wings flapping could be heard 

over the mountains and the sound of the horns honking and the sound of the 

waters moving and the sound of the gates opening and closing 

and the sound of the children playing

nothing but the sound of the pure flow of life
could be heard 

rising and falling within quietude 

and so she sat still and did not move

this writing has some of the same flavor as white tara...

she was praised for her prayers and offerings to the monks and nuns 

and told that she should pray to be a male in her next life so she can give buddhist teachings 

she said she will come back always as a female form until all reach enlightenment 

as there is no such thing as male and female in reality.... 

so free is she

see how she moves 

how beautiful and made of light is her presence 

like a goddess that breathes only purity

and love and light 

how she is like shiva in her nature 

never apart in heart from the one 

and how she came to be a light to all

as christ came and kabir and allah

on feet that are like buddha

walking towards the well of wisdom

to be drowned there 

and suffering then is lost to the sea 

how she does not know that she is perfect 

because all that remains is this perfection

and one is then of it 

and no thoughts remain about it 

as this would be a separate thing 

and not the truth at all

when you come near her fire, be open 

and ready to die the death that brings eternal life 

do not put your guard up and turn your face to 

the world 

for then she can come into your breath, your lungs 

your heart and all that is to be renewed 

and wash clean your soul 

and then, when you walk in the world 

you will not see the outer appearance and take it 

to be real

you will only know the love that is so real in all

and the beautiful quietude that lives deep 

and mysterious 

and so so very rich 

oh my friend, 

how she is like your soul in truth, shed of sorrow 

and full of life so pure and so peaceful

in her, love is like it should be 

without a name or face or form

without a changing world that surrounds it 

to darken it's glory 

and when the night comes to fall on the world 

and cover it in sorrow

she is there, like a goddess of rebirth 

and will strike hard at the dark

and make it to surrender to her which is life itself 

and freedom that is strong and unwavering 

in it's fullness will then rise

how she comes here now to your soul

be ready my dear 

for she will strike like lightening strikes

and lights the sky up with swift cutting bolts 

and then the mind is quiet, so quiet as God is
then you will be made like her, brave and free
so free is she

love yourself this way in joy and surrender 

and she will open you to yourself 

as the door that opens to the universe that is vast 

and made of rich wisdom 

she will open your heart like this 

a man came in the evening..

a man came in the evening

he could not find himself as he was before 

and looked as if he was reborn

he looked at the hills and valleys in the distance 

and said that there is nothing separate 

he said me and mine are not real

he said me and mine are as figments 

of imagination

he said me and mine are like a misty

rising that is not separate from the source 

but as an illusion that comes from wrong 

understanding of what is true 

when he spoke, his heart was like a fire 

that had consumed all suffering thoughts 

he looked as a one that was not home 

but he was looking quite natural and at ease 

he spoke of God and the mind

how the mind projects imagery and concepts 

outward and the one that is not awake

takes them to be real

but it is simply shakti moving on the screen 

of the SELF that is completely untouched by the appearance 

he sat on the grass, this man that was free 

and belonged nowhere and had no home really

no place that he could say, "this is mine" and 

"that is yours"

and he could not point to anything and say,

"this is me here" and "that is you there"

as these concepts were mind made

and had vanished away

the trees swayed in the wind 

and the earth smelled of fresh rain and

blooming rich life 

and the mountains sat

majestic and silent in the distance

this form that is here, spoke the man

is the same as all seen

to perish with the seasons 

and be reborn 

what difference does this make

to a one that is free? 

for consciousness lives on no matter what comes and goes 

and this sea of reality is sweeping and sweeping all away

constantly

to leave pristine clarity

why to worry about anything? 

all is of grace, beautiful and still

a man came in the evening 

and then he got up and walked away

and stillness remained...  

a hole in the wall

in the time of light and love

there lived a man that had all that money could buy

he was like a rich man outwardly

stocked full of all that could be delighted in by 

the eyes, ears and tongue 

he lived in his home built up with a sturdy fence 

around it and kept his possessions secure

and with him in his mind 

even when he was gone from his house he held 

them in his mind with attachment 

one day a robber came and stole some of his things

and the man was furious saying how can this be?

that someone came in and stole my belongings thru the fence

that was locked and made of hard stone and built up

strong and sturdy

he was angry even in his sleep about it and could not 

shake it off for anything 

but one day he saw what had happened

that there was a hole in the wall where someone could squeeze through 

and he said, aha! there it is!
and he went about in a huff looking for something to repair the hole
and when he came back with all that he had gathered
and stood before the hole

he stopped for a minute and felt a strong breeze come through 

the open space that was very refreshing and wondrous 

and smelled of fragrances that floated over the sea and lands 

from afar 

he was stopped in his tracks by this wonderful new feeling
and sat still and quiet simply enjoying the sensation
that brought a sweet smile to his face
and with this small experience he broke down the wall 

and sat and looked about him at all that he had barred in from himself 

there were mango trees across the way and beautiful lavender flowers

that smelled simply divine and a water fountain that sounded like soft rain 

right next door

and friendly faces that waved at him and smiled 

he had never really seen these things before with this type of 

perspective 

and he felt refreshed and a bit more light to be in this open space

how he had caged his soul from life thought he 

and he started to relax in his heart and felt a bit of peace 

that he had never felt 

who was this robber that came to him and lightened his heart? 

could it be that it was grace that opened him to himself 

as this was kind of funny that something that was so upsetting in 

the beginning turned around right 

hmmmmm  maybe he did not know

about what brings happiness at all

so he let himself ponder this awhile 

and then stopped thinking about it and went into his house 

and enjoyed what was there 

for he did not worry about it anymore 

and he was so very much happier and pleasant to be around 

his family was happier 

his friends were happier 

his work mates were happier 

and he my friends, did not build another wall around him

and he lived much freer

the importance of good company

the wife that was bright in wisdom,
filled with detachment and longing for freedom
speaks to her husband about the importance of good company
by telling to him
a story of a women that was caregiving her
when she was young
this woman came under the spell of a man that was
stained in his soul
she was taken in by this man for a time
and was intimate with him
and had a child that was very unruly and
and went about wreaking havoc
after a long time of being with this family
and raising up her child
she came to her senses and saw that she had
made a terrible mistake
and had been taken in by the wrong kind
and she broke away from these associates
and found her joy in holding close my mother
that was very pure in her soul
and meant only good for all humanity
so my friend severed her ties with the impure
and found the pure to fall back on
and became a very different person that was
her natural blooming self
filled with heart, love and joy
she was restored again to herself
as she was before coming under the sway
of the impure souls that she was attracted to
i, my dear husband was so very happy to have
her back as before
as we were very close and we would play together
in the woods and laugh and sing and dance
like children that were free
but when she was taken away and lost in the worldly
realm where there were souls that did not see what was good
for her or know what was good for themselves
she became something i hardly recognized
so weighed down was she in spirit
but i still loved her and did not leave her in my soul
as if i was a women waiting for her to come out of a
long sickness that fell over her
i could not tell her to break free of this bond
for she needed to do it for herself and find the beauty
of mother pure
and find the souls that rejoiced in the good and wellness
of all
and this she did on her own
when she was so exhausted with being in company
that stole her energies and made her to be
not appreciated or loved inside
and did not honor her freedom
how lost she was my husband and i mourned for her
but did not lose the purity that was inside of me
for i loved her and waited and waited
and now she is with the good
and i am happy for her again
my dear husband you can see that good company
makes all the difference as the influence of the
energies and focus of the souls around bring
disharmony or bring harmony to the being
and peace and joy
may you know that good company is primary to being still
and pure and of God
not one soul on this earth flowered into beauty without the
association with the wise and the enlightened
this is the truth
and may this truth be taken in
with love and understanding


more flowing that is similar feeling to the tripura rahasya..
but not exactly ..
same heart
may it be enjoyed ...

look deeply at this world..

there was a beautiful maiden
that lived in a forest

one day a man was out hunting 

and saw her and was so captivated
by her beauty
that he fell to his knees almost

and could barely think of anything but 

this vision of loveliness 

that stood before him

for her beauty was like an angel 

she moved with such splendour 

her voice like that of the finest music

ever heard 

her eyes deep pools of wisdom 

her form lithe and of the heavenly realm 

when this man gazed at her, he was lost 

and drunk almost on her presence 

he waited for her father to return who was 

a rishi and when her father saw this man

he knew immediately he was taken in by his daughter 

because he was of the way of seeing all

and so he said, you can marry my daughter 

and the man was in immediate happiness 

he felt as if he was the luckiest man alive 

to have such a bride so comely and intelligent 

and as the finest female form to look upon

and so they married and all seemed well

in the beginning

but, after a time 

this perfect wife did not return her

husband's  affections that he lavished upon her 

with all of his heart

and he was very disheartened by this 

he asked her, why, dear wife of my heart 

do you not return my affections as i give to you

so fully and of great joy and love?

and his wife said, i love you true my husband 

but am very absorbed in finding that which lies 

beyond this world of suffering 

for when i see this world that brings short lived happiness 

that turns always around to misery 

i am not attracted to it any longer 

i see it like a dream that brings suffering to those hearts 

that rejoice in it and find pleasure there 

i am desiring to find something that is lasting my dear husband 

i will not stop until it is found and my heart is full

you love me i know, but do you not see that this form you love 

is made of impurities
and if laid out on a table what this form is composed of

would turn your stomach and make you wretch
for it is made of odours, urine, feces, blood, hair, bones and so many things 

that are filthy ..

you see, i cannot find pleasure in body desires

or this world now 

do you not see this my husband? 

and her husband felt her love for him strongly and said

i will contemplate what you said my dear heart and feel it deeply 

for i know you are pure and desire that i am of my best 

please give me time to contemplate the world that you say is so paltry

and then find me and give me more of your knowledge 

and the husband spent his days looking deeply at what his wife said 

and he began to detach from the world 

and he waited for his wife to bring more knowledge to him

this is the writing that has flowed this evening..

it has a similar feel to some of the writing in the tripura rahasya

since the writing flows spontaneously, cannot say it is in full alignment with that 

may it be enjoyed as it is ....