what has called you away?

you have lost yourself my friend

and have left the love of the heart 

to be buried 

what has called you away from the true source of your being?

is it money?, friendship?, love? or something that is material in nature? 

why to take this up on your being?

see, when the mind goes on this kind of searching 

it will not find any substance that brings peace and joy

because it searches for something that can never be found 

in reality there is nothing ever lost 

so to get to this jewel of the non-dual

one is to let go and begin to question

what is holding this unrest, desire and suffering in place 

and dig deep down, so that the mind is directed towards 

the heart, which is the wellspring of pure life...

if the man is not interested in truly discovering himself

then there is nothing to be done for him

he is lost to the waves like a bobbing thing on the waters 

of maya...

thrown about here and there with no anchor 

the practices give the anchor to reign the mind in

and bring it to stillness with efforts..

this can be done anywhere, and at all times...

or one can use the time in dwelling on *me and mine*

so simple really (and arduous at the same time)

yet the wound cannot be cleaned by pampering 

and bandaid type of care ...

it needs to be abraded which stings badly at times 

but it will bring healing that is lasting

Let go the burden

in the season of change 

there lived a man named omen

he put himself in an unfortunate predicament

because he carried with him all the time 

a burden so heavy on his back

he took it with him everywhere he went

and would not lay it down 

not even by his side where he could see it easily and know it was safe 

he carried this burden as a man that was like a beast in the fields

and huffed and puffed about as if he had serious business to do 

in holding this heavy package...

one day a living sage entered the town

omen was in the street in his usual state of huffing and puffing and making his way

with his heavy load...

the sage came across him and said..

what are you doing with that load on your back?

omen said he was carrying it because he needed to and wanted to make sure 

nothing was ever missing in his belongings..

the sage said, well this looks to be quite a daunting thing --

do you not see that it is daunting and a burden to your being?

omen said, he felt it very heavy and was quite weary yet he needed to do this 

as he could not leave his things behind somewhere ...

what if they were stolen or taken away?

the sage said, all that is given is by God and this is what is 

the most precious -- 

have you paid attention to what is most precious?

omen said, he had no time for that due to watching over his things that he guarded

and he put his energy there -- for what would i be without this looking always to my

things and my world in which i go about insuring all is in order and safe and 

kept as usual? 

the sage said, what is usual for you is not usual at all within the truth...

and when this truth is entered... it will be known, that nothing was ever missing ...

this is a false way that you have caught yourself in and it is creating misery... 

and for you to find another way that is more joyous and lighter 

you first need to let go and be free of the burden that you guard so fervently ...

the sage, said - here i will take your burden, so you can walk lighter and he made his arms open

and ready to relieve this man of his heavy load...

the man said, oh no sir -- my, this cannot be okay in my mind as i know these things so well and 

know if you took them, i may not see them again -- and what would i do or *be* without all these things  

that i work so hard at attending to?

the sage said, that he could find out if he let go...

but the man chose to not free up this pack of heaviness and moved onward about his journey, laden with 

his belongings...

well what to say souls, but this is the way of many that come into a path of light and love...

so stubborn inside to guard the suffering and insistent on having things 

the way of ego, that the opportunity to be free is lost ...

may the steady souls be not taken in this way and keep onward into the light of all...

not looking back and not entertaining the shadow that is fading away due to grace ...

om shanti

beneath the waves

i called to you here friend
beneath the waves
and have waited like the moon waits
for the sun to be just right
and show up itself in fullness in the night sky
i called from this beauty to your soul
that is so perfectly seen here in the light
as the glory that you are
i called to you friend
to come hither into this sea of knowledge
and untouched rest
be the one of all
be the light of reality
most of all
to be real and steady
be still

do not take this heart to be yours
it is not
it is of itself in fullness and rich beauty
that is *ALL*
not like the mist on the seas in the morning light
or the dew that trembles and dissolves
with the rising of the sun
but steady in constant quiet
and even the most pure is not compared to it
the dove (how lovely it is) flies away and is gone
as well as the beautiful sky in it's brilliant colors
fades so quickly
but not this heart that is still
it lives always
in love and perfect peace

a vision 11/23/17

this early morning, a vision arose

i have not seen crisp, clear visions for awhile
in the same way as before
sometimes only

this vision was a bit hazy, yet completely
perceptible and understandable in it's unfolding

there were two forms walking in a covering of clothing
these forms converged
the full moon entered and moved down their full bodies
until those forms vanished

then the full moon was above my head and ran down
this form
the feeling of it lovely and surreal
my feet could be seen in boots of a sort
my form was pulled up out of these boots
and felt to be air-like in it's nature
water, a torrent of it was poured over me
as a mystical flow of light

and then just light poured down over me
from head to toe
up and down this way

then, there was a tunnel
a man was upright in a business suit
he lay down, his shirt buttoned tightly up
with his tie around his neck and knotted
like usual attire in the worldly realm of
business life

i walked over this form body
and travelled down a tunnel
there was a door that was closed
with light
coming from underneath of it
i stood there and waited
and then the single door turned into a
double door that opened slowly

there was a cross on the door that was on the left
i stepped into this opening
crossing the threshold into this other mystic land
it felt
crosses made of light were falling
here and there
crosses that rested on backs of people that carried them
were falling
crosses
falling

there were light rays coming from all sides that moved thru
me
stilling and peaceful
this scene unfolded this way for a while
traveling thru with light rays appearing and penetrating
all that was there
almost like a crystal feeling to it where light bounces off
each other in different facets
and cuts

there was a form shadow on the ground
smoke and fire rose from it
in billowing dark plumes
rising and burning from it

a cathedral type of passageway was in the distance
it looked to be made of gold
with the entrance way curved and jutting upward
water
then
came rushing from this cathedral
in torrents
living waters
rushing

then a flower emerged
with the opening made of light
and other form bodies emerged as if walking away
walking away
and leaving just this opening made of light


this is all
that is coming


so for now
onward
and blessed thanksgiving to all

Unborn

for the saint 

the only birth is the body

the soul has always been eternally free

unborn 

not this 

not that 

forever whole 

deathless

for the saint 

the heart is pure always 

as the seas are made glorious 

and the winds come from 

beautiful stillness

the rains 

and the seasons 

all rise and fall in the same heart

that is one self

for the saint

there has never been other 

only this one 

not ending 

not beginning 

as a light unto itself 

there is nothing that can touch

this purity

for the saint

the prison is the mind 

the mind that is not true 

as it is has no substance 

or constancy within it 

it is made of energy only 

mercurial

and not immutable like 

pure spirit

for the saint 

all that is seen and unseen

is the same 

not living somewhere apart

and belonging to anybody

just is 

so very natural

yet ungraspable 

to mind

for the saint 

peace is not born 

because it can never die 

peace is what is real 

within all 

living as sat chit ananda

eternal

for the saint 

life is now always 

it cannot be contained in form 

and mind 

it is a mystery 

an unalterable reality 

that is shiv shakti in one 

not two

not two

for the saint 

love is uncreated 

it is inherent within the soul

of all

it has nothing to cling to 

nor can it be made into 

something to own

it lives always unencumbered 

with no blockages 

like a river

flowing

for the saint 

the one reality is what *sees*

as clarity

not the eyes truly

as they are merely instruments 

that are empty

inert 

seeing is of spirit

as well as pure intelligence 

for the saint 

me and mine fall away 

to never rise again 

in the heart 

all is well and 

forever one

at peace 

effortless 

joy

for the saint

men and women are simply 

forms of the same one 

not separate 

a play of God in all aspects 

but never dancing apart 

always undivided

free 

in reality

you are a single
being always
not divided as you think
you are a mystery
and a bright glow
you have no burden
to carry
or any involvement
in the world
you are not a form
you are absolute truth
in reality

a deeper reality

though it takes great efforts
to continually rein the mind in
it is the only way to begin to open to truth
which will bring experiences that speak to a deeper reality
and put an end to the movement eventually
the other choice is to of course
continue to immerse in mundane mind
and all that comes with that
there is always a choice..

always the self

where have you gone really?

you can never leave here 

in truth

you are always here as the self

no matter the mind play

no matter the action

seated in the lotus position

or working in the world 

the mind can be heart centered

and within grace 

it matters not what the body is doing

the mind is what matters

and can be purified no matter
the action

Light in nature

To live the highest is to be harmonious
and light in nature
to trade in the worldly trappings
in exchange for Godly wear
and walk in this land of shadows
but not at all affected by it

balance

the way of nature is to
be in balance
it is not to be in doubt
and bogged down by thought
as a tigress springs into
action at the sound of
a predator
this beautiful creature leaps
without thought
this is the
way of zen
completely clean of
planned action
just so graceful
and simple
like the way it came in

free will

your drama and story are not heard
in the heart
they are simply empty playings out..
that echo in your ear only
and you listen
but you do not have to
this is the gift of free will

an adventure

if you make the day an adventure into 

greater depths of the soul

then you have spent your time well

no matter what you are doing

until it is no more

soul
save yourself from suffering
be not as a blind man that comes into the earth
shorn of sight
or as a beggar that is looking about always for something
to feed it
settling on that which is transient in nature
that only leaves one unfulfilled again and again

live out your days alone in yourself like a hermit would live
in the heart
or like a nun would live in a convent that is built to bring
the mind to a halt when it is centered on only light
and singing always of goodness, joy, peace and equanimity

or like a sannyas that has only his simple being
simple without coverings of the world
he lives out his days this way and he works only for God
and not himself

he works only for the heart of his joy
he works only for the love that is true
he works only for the *me and mine* to vanish
he works only for the single ray that is undeniable and beautiful
he works only for the best that life offers which is to be out of suffering
he works only for the quietude that comes sometimes in small amounts
sometimes in greater
sometimes in gaps and slowing of thought
sometimes in forgetting of the past and future
sometimes in spontaneous movement
sometimes in working with one-pointedness
sometimes in resting in unfamiliar realms or
anything that is deeper, quieter, mysterious
until the mind is no more

yes this is it!

friends have no affection for mind and it's stories
it is like a dying thing on the vine when you are not
looking at it always
it is like an energy form that will evaporate in time
with sadhana

what is natural

                               

live free oh men, women

cast out those shadows that are not your friend 

but simply ego masquerading in many forms so as to take one away from what is true 

be not happy with ways of men that are set on being worldly

and framed in that which is not harmonious with what is best for all 

for this type of behavior and mind set 

is what is making the long lasting imprint of ignorance and 

hardship to the planet

 

soul,

i say to you there is another way that is synced up with the natural laws 

of the universe 

this way that is natural to your soul is where to go 

not out in the world of dorership and agitation of mind 

the world will cary on without your being involved in it and being more of a witness

to it

or a one that is simply present and alert, quiet within and living in a depth beyond 

the waves of phenomena 

see this is not something understood by thoughts or by activity 

but understood only by heart 

heart is not to be understood, but is what is the natural state of all

when those thoughts that dance so freely now are lessened, slowed and eventually 

extinguished

 

we sat

we went to the  valley to sit for a while
among the earth song of love, full of the scent of life
we sat there in this lovely air that makes one breathe truth only
and when the day was done we still sat
and waited for the stars to glow and twinkle
each one made uniquely beautiful and with the same touch of life
a creation that does not come from calculating and planning it to be a certain way
and have a certain outcome and give pleasure to only a few
but a hand that commands all things to be the way they are
without a even a trace of personhood
these stars shine so full and free
as all of life does when the mind is done with it's games and devices
and way of traveling here and there
and everywhere in between
then life is seen as it is
as grace has made it to be
with one glow of love

we went to the mountains, we did my friend
and sat quietly there among the snow capped beauty
that springs up from the ground silent and majestic
these heavenly hills have nothing to say but speak so well indeed
of strength, life, fortitude, solidity, earth risen up to make beauty of rock
living as a picture of art that one has to say inside,
how is this done so well and perfectly?
the air so cooling, the world so silent
and there we did not speak either,
but simply sat here to be taken in by this heavenly view

ah, the maker of the earth what a hand indeed
tilling the soil with  the weaving of light and freedom so living
the seeds, the blooming things above, the rocks, the trees, the hills,
the wind
all coming into alignment every moment with what is truly natural for all
here there is no mistake that God lives and comes from mystery
here there is no mistake that every living thing sings of this love
oh world sit quiet a moment and do not move from this love so real
sit in your heart for a minute and take in what is here now
as all things are here
to be in this love so true and not away in mind
and gathering of thoughts and plans
and this against that
how burdensome this is to the mind and heart
how unholy and divisive
we cannot know truly what is right unless we have clear path thru to see
what is not right and in alignment with God
we have only to take the time to sit awhile and be with what is here
oh world how simple this way
how complex and hard the other

voice of the heart

the voice of the heart
like a song that cannot be understood by mind
a voice like something of another way that is not scented with
the personal way of me and mine
a voice that comes from the secret place of the mystics who are not
like what you feel they are
something that is in a place different than everything else
but are in a place that is the same as all else
as life sits in the yoni or the shakti heart it vibrates that way
outward in waves of heart, life, song of undivided one
with this heart song of life
a mystic is taken in to be washed clean of dross
this my friend is not a little thing at all or meant to say he is in bliss always
like something that is felt maybe to some
or in a way of constant freedom
he is burnt like all saints burn if you have read their stories
they are in great pain of austereness,
which really means extreme kinds of experiences in which they have no escape
but to surrender to the heart
as there is no other savior but the heart

a mystic is not one that is casual about searching
though he/she may play out a certain way on the outside
that may seem not in alignment with what is truly taking place inside
or just be ordinary seeming or not
what is taking place inside is a burning so severe
as to make one beg for mercy on the knees
and pray and pray and pray and keep on no matter the cost and pain
and burden and overwhelming phenomena

i have spoken of this mysticism today
i cannot speak of the way that is casual to a one
or has the luxury to not be fully
engaged in this journey for this kind of playing out in a soul is completely left to karma
or the playing out of lifetimes of being on the path
and having a heart that is set on this road to be purified

this is all to say for now my dear
you will know it when you are in it
it cannot be spoken about easily with anybody
it is spoken of little if at all
it is spoken of weakly when put out to others if at all
it is spoken of minus the feeling of truly being there
as all experience must be lived by that one that goes thru it
and cannot be conveyed to one fully if that one has not experienced it
and only god can know what is to be done and when and all of that
for in our way we can only be sincere inside and keep open to the life that is here
and keep walking with love, light and heart

As you go about your journey

as you go about your journey

will you remember your true self always?

will you hold only the pure teachings that guide

and not the shadow of mental wandering?

will you keep in your heart a faith that all is well

and that all will right itself in time?

will you hold in your pack a piece of bread that

is to be eaten in joy as remembrance

of life so graciously given?

will you sing openly the hearts song

with love and praise to be here now

and be glad to have this opportunity

to find freedom?

will you let all life be free and not seek

to posses what was never yours?

will you stay steady within all life experience

and not run when the dark presses in?

will you love the earth the same as your body

and not think of yourself to be

this or that?

will you turn not away from suffering inside

and sit with it in equal mind?

will you be content amongst all circumstances

even when all is taken?

will you see beyond the outer expression

and into the heart that is true?

will you find your true home in nature

and not within four walls that hem in?

will you drop the mind of pride and greed

so a fresh reality can enter in?

will you walk the trails of love and light

and seek company that is good?

will you set nothing apart from you

so as to make it high or low?

will you contemplate the truth at dawn and dusk

so as to shed the covers?

will you live a way that is within beauty

but care not

if you are applauded or criticized?

will you live life so purely

and within the moment

that your past is completey forgotten?

will you be quiet now in this moment

and allow life to simply flow

as it is?

only goodness

measure your days by
what you let go of
and not by what you
gain
then you will be content
with very little
and not seeking more of
this or that
as a man does not come into
life with things
he does not know about
objects
but only feels love and goodness
that warms him
and pleases him well
and where does this goodness
come?
from God alone
and nowhere else
see, this is the most important
to be of goodwill and service
to God
and then forget all about
everything but his perfection
in which the heart opens
into and fills up with
yeah friend,
put your life into the search
and forget your little self
be still

heart pointings

what is true?
 - that which brings happiness to others

what is the right way?
 - that which follows God

what is the wrong way?
-that which is out of sync with the natural laws

what is whole?
-that which does not separate

what is to be done?
-efforts towards truth

what is to be said?
-words that aide humanity

what is freedom?
-no-mind

what is death?
-ignorance

what is beautiful?
-that which is holy and within grace

what is false?
-that which is transient

what is real?
-that which is unchanging

what is fear?
-that which hides


what is joy?
-that which is 0-ne

what is to be most cherished?
-company of the wise

what is to be most loved?
-Guru's pointings

what is to be most contemplated
-the scripture, Guru's pointings
and the transient nature of all things

what is grace?
-that which is not of the *me*

what is sorrow?
-separation from the pure

what is a friend?
-he who guides one towards the  good

what is an enemy?
-none

what is to be sought?
-your true nature

what is blind?
-ignorance (ego)

what is clear?
-the light of Guru and wise souls

if i could do these things

if i were the air
i would breathe life into the
dry parts of your garden
that have not been tended to

if i were formless
i would move thru all barriers
shed light on your false wanderings
and dry your flowing tears

if i were unchanging
i would sit outside your window
like a mountain
in steady beauty as the passing shadows
dance around
and the night sky dissolves
giving way to color and light

if i were a river
i would wander to your gate
wash into your door
and bring you to your true mother
the deep mysterious ocean heart

if i could fly
i would soar to the heights of space
perch on a branch and sing of the heart
so that you could hear it
when you sit on the porch in the evening
and have tea

if i were the wind
i would call at your window
my song of emptiness
with a howl and a shake
so that you are startled
and shaken out of your dream

if i were the flowers
i would waft my fragrance near you
when you walk by
sweet and warm in the night air
and for a moment
you would forget yourself
and sit on the big rock awhile
so welcoming
gazing out into the evening sky

if i were the path
i would beckon you
through your experience that brings sorrow
to come to me
and begin
and be a wanderer
a mystic
in search of truth
so that you could find happiness
and peace everlasting

these are just some of the things i would do
if i could
but i cannot
as i am not the doer
and do not move anything
this is the job of grace
come to know it
dear one
this is where the beauty is

what i have, you have also...

what i have
you have also
and it is as real as the light
that shines on a summer day
and as handsome as the prettiest dove
that sets herself on a branch in the moonlight
to sing of the wonders that are here and now

what i have
you have also
and it is made of sweet earth
and beautiful treasures
that lay in waiting
in the depths of the soul
like a candle eternally lit

what i have
you have also
and it is the most precious
God thing of the most high
and it is what has been given
to all
it is not something different than you
but it shines
when the masks have been laid down
and buried

what i have
you have also
and it rises when the dust
is cleared within
and all has been laid silent and bare
a beauty that the physical eye cannot behold
for it is only an instrument
but the light is real and glorious
and lives so light and present
as if a magic wand tapped it into reality

but this is not the way it is
it is just a way of saying
you are beauty
and this is sung
like a rainbow
across the heavens

hardly a single prayer

as the sadhu sits in the cave 

waiting for the moment 

to spark the heart on fire with silence 

oh world 

i sit like this in the heart of cave 

without covers 

oh god 

i lay down by the fire here 

and have hardly a single prayer left in me 

to say 

come to me dear light and give all you can 

to this silence that is forever here 

seek me out and lay your hands on me 

with love 

flower me with sweetness like the garden of 

joy that dances in the spring 

pray for me with all your heart like the monks, 

the munis, the sadhus and the nuns 

embrace me tender as the first love that finds 

its way into my breast 

and fills me with something new that brings

laughter and lightness

rain your mercy on me like shiva, kali, lakshmi

and buddha 

work with me to allow me to be your servant 

and then take me in lovingly as a mother would 

her child and relieve all suffering 

yes i have hardly a single prayer left to ask something 

of you

as i have found that stillness quiets all down and 

takes all away that came forward to be heard and felt 

so wearisome at times

yes, hardly a single prayer

as silence takes it all away 

and leaves something so much deeper 

richer and worthy of all the efforts

to come into it

within this garden...

last evening before sleep a vision appeared 

of a garden with blue flowers 

the hibiscus were blue, large and grew in abundance 

there was a bench where one could sit amongst the 

lovely creation of wonder that mother nature provides 

so gloriously

there, within this garden, that was filled with 

different flowers and greens and earth 

sweet with rich nourishment 

arose a small plastic bubble that floated in 

the air 

within this bubble, a butterfly fluttered with wings of
various shades of blue 

that were patterned in fine blacks as well 

and all the touches of light that shine within these creatures 

that capture our hearts so 

majestic it was (this butterfly), but held within captivity 

and then the bubble that held it, broke open and it

flew out within the freedom of the air 

it flew as if it had found itself finally and could allow 

that which it was inherently to live truly without containers 

or borders or boundaries and all the things that are structured 

as ways to keep light from truly flowing out fully and freely

and then, many plastic bubbles arose floating in the air 

then these containers opened up too and the butterflies flew in the garden 

and travelled beyond it as well 

into the sky 

into the space 

and dissolved as light 

so here is one of the visions that came to this mind's eye 

as they come more and then less 

and come whenever 

but are not so all consuming still

this is the journey here i 

am still within sadhana very much 

and there is still slowing and gaps to mind 

there is an all consuming light and stillness 

there is still mind risings and physical phenomena clearing 

and circling about 

but i am not pulling back from this desire to go on

and leave the mind to fall completely 

i know oh love 

that it feels to you so long when i speak 

it is long indeed this journey 

that abounds to open to those sincere ones 

it is indeed a path of mysterious play that leaves one 

without covers or concealments or anything to cling to that 

will save one except surrender, faith and trust in the heart 

that is God or pure consciousness 

there the mind can relax and leave the rest to be handled by 

the pure intelligent source 

this is what takes place off and on 

and there is also a way that this path wears down the separate persona 

but one must see the conditionings that cause the effect of maya and all that works there 

so strange and confusing when one is lost within it 

and not get pulled into that and lost there 

for there, nothing that is of lasting value can find itself to be as it is 

and shine for all humanity to feel 

as this is the main thing oh seeker and one that is devoted to light 

whether you are truly walking a path or simply living life 

you must know that there is nothing that is different than your own heart 

every face you meet on your journey is nothing but one self

everything is this beauty only 

for we cannot be something other than this 

forever 

forever 

only this light

spirit work

when death comes to you will you be ready?
i wonder
because it will come (death), you know
this time in this body will be done one day
and you will be onto another journey that continues
forward
but i must say to you, that when you are ready to pass
your body lays lifeless and you cannot "act" even if you
want to
you cannot get up and go do what you think is so important
that you feel you must do now (not even the smallest thing)
you are helpless to what is to come and rushed out into the
after life without a jury to listen to your pleas
and give extra time to look at what needs to be looked at
you cannot move or speak at all
you see, this i have seen so many times being at the bedside
of those dying
how their eyes say so much, but their body will not cooperate
the same way
and so they are left with their thoughts that turn and turn
and  the reality is if there has been no investigating of the truth
or time spent on spirit work
there is nothing of substance there that will hold
this is what are called vasanas or tendencies that are later reborn
again to play out
so my dear, you have this time in this form to be of good spirit
and look deeply at your mind, life and come to the heart
for if this work is not done now, it will come back again later
not one soul gets out of anything
it is true
not one soul can escape karma and the happenings there

not of the worldly way

reader 

when life is put under a bed of thoughts 

it cannot breathe it's truth 

for it is laden with personal views 

that make it into something other than 

what it is

it cannot come thru to the heart clearly 

or speak it's silence that flows forward 

of itself 

that comes from no-thing that can be seen 

or named 

but flows from the source and is the source 

and drowns out the voices of mental habits 

all consuming and casting it's spell of bodily

identifications that takes over so strongly

this power of mind 

yet this is not to be seen as true  

this happening of illusion

but seen as something of a dream-spell that comes 

for a time and has no concrete substance that can be 

called eternal 

it is an energy that moves with desire and attachment 

which is the main holding there 

worldly men 

how they seem to be the center of the societal revolvings 

on the planet 

they speak and speak as if they are authorities on something 

but really what is within their hearts is what matters always 

not the outer coverings like gender, religion etc..

these things are like shadows over a land that cannot be  

seen clear if the speech is always separating out this and that 

and always talking of you and me and what happened yesterday 

and what will happen tomorrow 

and what i am and what you are 

and what they are and all of this kind of drama

there is not a conveying ever of what is true and right and whole 

(in the world of appearances) 

this just comes when the one sincerely searching finds the right teacher 

that can direct him/her to the well spring of life which is freedom

this cannot be found in the world of appearances and societal playing out 

that is so drenched in conspiracy, drama and deception much of the time 

and changing always onto something else without a break

this (light) cannot be found in the worldly ways of men

preacher, tell me what you know of love 

for i have heard you preaching so long and yet i have not heard the 

voice of light come thru clearly like a beautiful, unfettered stream that 

runs through all things and leaves no residue 

what have you to say about this when you speak? 

have you ears to hear the smallest voice that whispers, be still my love 

do not play so much in mind like you do 

do not make plans that inherently have within them expectations 

of something else than what is happening now 

do not seat yourself in the garden of dry and lifeless fruit  

and flowers that wither quickly
but come into yourself as a bird that soars to the heart of God 

not captured any longer by the scenery so laden with duality of men 

fly to the heart of God oh soul 

and do not tell the world your cries of how you know so much 

because when you come to the heart 

you know nothing then 

and then how will you speak of your certain philosophies and attempt 

to make yourself separate and special with so much knowledge of learning 

i will ask you then oh preacher and dear souls 

what do you haveto say then that is so learned, certain and right 

when you have been stripped of all that you thought you were?

what will you have to say then?

like this

a vision came this afternoon
of a water spout pouring out fresh, clear water
a head was bent beneath this water
the water ran over it with vigor for a long time
what appears then is a nun in a white habit
the nun walked away, her flowing veil blowing in
the wind

then she reappeared clasping the hands of a priest
there they engaged in conversation
of what i am not sure
there they stood connected by hands and heart
and she dropped to her knees head down

a vision then, of a lovely fresh face of a girl with a white veil
head down, eyes closed, hands clasped in prayer
water running like a river within this scene and doves too
there too is the christ image of heavenly heart
that rises when the worldly way of being in the outward
appearance ends
there he is with his hand out touching the souls
that are there with joy
there he is touching the earth with his bare feet
that are the light of all
the light that is not in the physical form
but appears through it as the  pure heart at times
when the mind is no longer playing it's song

there are the animals with the glow of light
and the angels too with the song of love
fear not, is the song that flows always

dear hearts
i am the light, the christ, the lamp of shiva
i am this light as i live in all things pure and impure
and am not touched by them ever
i live in all things as a sunrise never to set
when you pass the place of shadow which is only
creative force of mind/energy then you come to this place
that has no name or face or purpose or goal or ending spot
for it lives always in one place which is now
forever in one place of living waters

do you know this love my dear?
you are made of it as the heavens are
you are made of it as the earth is, like riches mysterious
you are made of it as the sun, moon, stars are
like this you live in all things as one that is present
without conditionings or attachments or physical heaviness
like this you live made of one perfect heart
like this you live in all and all in you forever
single
not as a divided entity that breaks up into rays of light
or colors
but as the pure original nature in which all flows forward
yes dear like this living essence
yes like this you live

impersonal heart

in the ancient traditions
the practitioner is taught to be within himself
as the objects of nature are
as still as a piece of wood or stone
as still as the bird that awaits it's prey
as still as the calm before the storm
as still as the eye of the hurricane
he is taught to be still
as still as the empty house that vibrates
with the sound of life play
as still as the sound of one hand clapping
as still as the world before the person was born
as still as the song with no singer
as still as the buddha nature that is not born
nor can die
as still as the impersonal heart
the master points to this way of
stillness
to put the mind in a different way of being
to take the mind out of the spinning cycles
to take the mind away from the creative world
in which "I" revolves

the way a master connects with his/her student
is not something always shared with the public
this kind of connection that is made in these sacred
unions are rare indeed
they are not understood by looking at the person that
is shaped a certain way
and imparts certain mannerisms that are this way or that
this bond of light cannot be taken in like this
within the worldly view
it is a bond that occurs in the heart light
that has come from the desire of many lifetimes and the
connection to the fire force of the absolute

the master that is true in these ancient traditions
impart knowledge without the mind understanding it
always
in a logical sense
this is how it is
the logical way of seeing is shaded by all the thinking
and so much always wanting to move forward on a certain
course to gain and get rid of, and improve upon
this is stopped in it's tracks with the transmutive power of
energy coming from pure consciousness
so most of the workings of the path take place on a level
not understood by the surface thoughts
it works mysteriously

as the buddhist masters would give the student simple sayings
that cannot be understood
it hearkens back to that place of the mind saying, "what?"
the mind will not get it
or the master will open up another space of seeing that is much
deeper and was not viewed before by the student

the main thing that is imparted however is
the truth is within the heart of all
for this thought that one is not free or is bound or is this way or
that is shaken out
these opposites that the mind grabs hold to is shaken out
and the mind becomes more quiet, more present, empty
yet full of pure life
and then the flow of beauty comes thru the heart of that one seeking
until that seeker is extinguished as a personal energy that is felt as ego

i simply began...

reader
those experiences of the past have written
something on your heart
that you are moving with
and changing with
but oh soul
those thoughts come as rain comes
and sun comes
as clouds and open passages come
as closed doors come
and as ripe fruit and dry leaves drop
from the trees
those stories and thoughts come this way
never staying long as one thing to grab to
never staying long as a continuous note that
soothes
they turn to winter yes
they turn to summer yes
they turn to spring yes
and to fall
and to death
and rise again
like all of nature does
so the very first thing that is within many spiritually
bright religions
is to look at the transient nature of all things
including mind
to see how it comes, goes, does not have staying power
and to stay grounded in the breath and equanimity
rooted in a way to the earth heart
and there, one will feel the forces blow strong of the
vasanas that will have their play on the body and mind
without end it seems
and will be hard to resist to follow
and will be hard to not bite down on and pound the fists against
or come into it's cocoon of comforts or whatever has it's enticement
there
but to react to it makes it stronger and forces like that will
come strong as an ox again
or possibly in sheeps clothing too, all of it
one is to stay rooted in the heart and the present moment and the
present pure experience with these forces.... and not entertain them
so they die out....
do not think that this is something that will happen quickly.. it will indeed
take a long, long time and also at some point a true master is needed to
help finish the journey, but this will come for sure when the student is ripe
and ready... don't worry... the right thing will come when the conditions are right
just do the work of being present within the present conditions with love,
without having expectations
or pressing down on yourself to be this way or that ...
allow the flow of heart to open with love, care and gentleness...
even though the strong forces will be there,
stay within the right character and intention to be honest and within the flow of heart...


well i guess this writing is completing and here for any that are interested
it comes from the experience walked here apparently
for this is where i started with a very young child and with meager living conditions
simply began with looking at myself and desiring peace for myself and humanity
i had no idea where the journey would lead or if there would be a teacher that came or not
or what a Guru was for that matter...
and the journey went forward and from there ... well, i have written a lot about that ...

great day and om

prior to this construct

what weighs on you now is a doorway to open
to the heart of all
see it as it is... a calling you back to the moment
like a cloud it covers its spell of mind
with this it has no true substance to stay
it is moment by moment this way
it is not ever for one minute concrete and
continous as a person that is real
so this is why we work to see it for what it is
and to go back through it to the space in which
nothing exists
the space or consciousness prior to this construct
that is called a persona
the mind will never help you in the end to bring it to
it's death
the mind cannot go beyond itself
it can only turn inward as a snake eating it's tail until
it is finished for good
this is why to the intellect it works at *understanding* and
building insights and gaining knowledge of the objective
world or gaining knowledge or insight of experience to
help it to see
yet this seeing is only partial, it is incomplete as there
will not be a settled knowledge that is still and complete
in all places at all times
there will only be a turning and revolving of mind and the
forces there
yes there can be a maturing of thinking, more openness and all of
this, this is very good for sure
but again, there is still the mental ups and downs, the attachments
the upset, the spinning that happens ... it will go on ... and this is
what is called suffering
so this is what is to be seen and looked at

i am not here to tell one to do this or do that
i simply flow with this writing as it comes
and also, i must say that this is the work that has come here
as i am not saying something that has not been experienced here
one cannot do this, not ever ....
so this is what it is

oh love
i will not ever leave the shoreless ocean heart
blooming continuously as a garden lit with love
in this garden heart
the winds blow easily and without interruption
blowing the thoughts away in the air
here now, then gone swiftly
carried to where?
coming from where?
great separation between them and great
slowing pace to them
not completing
what was so important anyway?
who is there to understand?
here in the garden heart
free from this journey so long
here in the garden heart
i sit

you see, this is the doorway...

beautiful soul

i move with something that speaks in my heart 

to say 

that you have not been what is real

you have not let your mind settle down into something 

other than the familiar 

for if you did you would be done with this worldly way 

in which calls to the mind to continue dancing in the mayaic realm

of otherness 

it calls as a master calls to it's student to be this way and that and not 

come fully to the waters of light 

i am not saying this to be judgmental, but in the way of the world 

there is mostly an entertaining of this kind of thing 

not a seriousness about being as the ancient masters are which 

is dynamic, like a fire-force that has nothing but love at it's base 

and nothing but stillness in which it lives 

nothing but mystery of the absolute in every breath, cell, word

and consciousness 

with this fire force of heart, these ones walk upright without 

needing support or influences or education from anything to 

improve it or help it along...

for the end that is the beginning of pure life cannot be improved 

upon by anything created by mind, hand, tongue, word, deed 

it is as it is from beginningless time 

beautiful, full, without covers and within all hearts equally

you see, we are made as this beauty in truth 

and even if we feel not like this inside now or weak 

see, this is where there is a doorway to open into 

to go through 

we go through our shaky places, our voices that call us back 

our revolving painful aches ... all of it, the shakiest, weakest 

point is indeed an entrance into something different 

look at it soul! 

what keeps coming back to you is the doorway to see that these 

thought/concepts are like shadows that come and go 

it is only your mind that continues to produce it to come into reality 

and make it real 

oh soul, yes ... this is what is to be seen

that those tender spots that sting so and make one draw back are the 

moments that are given to see through the mind 

well i am taking time to write this out, oh one of heart 

it is not like i planned it at all this way, these words 

it is not like i said that i will write something that is to make one 

be present 

it is not like i went over this in my head or hoped that there is a result 

it is not like i prayed about it or practiced it or worked on a lecture about it 

it is not like i find anything to be lower or higher and something needs help 

and something does not 

it is not like i love as a personal thing when writing it 

and even if it flows as a thing that feels someone is writing it 

it is not true for it comes the way it comes 

i really am not involved with it 

love, 

today there is something more flowing 

like a river without any stopping places 

like a wind without any catches to it 

or a doorway that stays open to love 

oh soul

this is the way it is 

there are phases that come and stay and revolve

and deepen and surface and deepen again 

and then one day another depth that lingers 

longer and longer 

and feels heartier with strength, quietude and more 

effortless than ever 

oh friend today it is felt this way 

and i know this writing feels as if someone is excited 

about it 

but it is not that way 

it is not like a running around kind of thing and wanting 

to sing on the roof tops about it 

it is a settled being in the moment with one pointed concentration 

and not having to be constantly internally saying mantra or 

concentrating on balanced breath when mind is in action 

simply a few breaths and the flow is back 

sturdier, more substantial

oh what work it seems friends to go on and on with great efforts 

and what a joke it is to be simply peaceful without those hard personal efforts

(as if that suffering person never existed at all) 

it is as if it has always been quiet 

yet there is still a cognition that there has been such a long journey walked 

well this is this day 

and it is not done 

and the journey continues until it is complete

but i feel grateful to rest a little more this morning in the flow of 

heart and quietude 

blessed day to all!

a town called *is*

in a town called *is*

there lived a man who sought to know of something beyond

birth and death

this man regarded himself to be of great prowess

he had a strong physique and felt himself healthy

and of good intellect...

he sold all of his belongings and set out to find the truth

he left behind family, friends, job and all relations 

he resolved to not look back or to come home without 

any knowledge that rang of real

he walked on a path that started right outside his door...

onward he went for awhile on this path
until he encountered a great forest called doubt --

in this forest he was pestered by all kinds of unrest that spoke 

incessantly about what a bad person he was and that maybe he was not
capable of such and awesome undertaking as this...
then immediately this  

was followed by what a good person he had been due to particular good deed 

he had done.. but then no, he was not so good and so on...

and the other familiar rant yammering on about possibly he shouldn't have started out at all--

maybe his family was right that he knew not what he was doing ..

will they accept him when he got back he wondered ..  possibly not 

maybe now he was cast off like an orphan to roam about without a single mooring 

anywhere ..

oh this is not good cried his persona... we have been left alone ..

he walked on heavy with such a great deluge of worry and unrest through this 

forest of doubt...

he slept under a tree that night and felt the shadows fall with the black enveloping his soul

and his sight felt blinded 

his heart was not there in this enshrouded place ...

he twisted and turned about on the hard earth and rose in the morning not refreshed in the least..

he picked up and continued ...

eventually he came across a man wandering in the forest looking very ordinary in his way..

he cast a quick look at him and he felt a bit free with his glance ...

the man smiled an easy smile 

and the seeker very weary said, friend i am in search of that which lies beyond birth and death..

do you know of this place?

the other journeyer said indeed i do for i live within it always...

and this shook this man of great prowess to the core...

well how so do you live in it? for i am right here where you are 

but do not see it ...

the ordinary journeyer laughed and said oh -- you have only just begun my friend ...

once you are free within it matters not where you live or what you are doing ...

the mind is eternally at peace ...

well this was quite a thing to be heard ...

why then sir, is it so very, very hard for me to be at peace when this freedom is right here and now?

for i do not feel free at all.. my mind is in such weariness, heartache and unrest...

tell me dear sir, why is this and how can i be set away from this hell that i am living?

so very strange that we both stand here looking like men and in the same setting 

yet you are at ease and speaking of peace and that is felt well as when i glanced at you

my heart sang and my soul took to a bit of rest ... i felt as if there was a light 

in this great darkness in which i am so accustom...  

how can i be freed and speak as you do sir please say?

stillness pervaded that gentle being as he spoke in his clear voice to say ...

all beings are eternally free in the heart my dear seeker ..

now it is not seen due to your false identification with the body and mental waves that rise and fall

within these waves there is no constancy or anything that can be found that is lasting ..

to attach to these waves is death really (as eternal light is covered over) and so much suffering comes from it that is to have no end...

how then said the seeker shall i get away from this misery that has clung to my heart so strong

and so very all consuming in its way? i follow it like a lost lamb in the dark calling away for 

my mother ... oh pray tell dear wise soul of the heart .. 

your words are like soft rain to a man that has been in a desert for many an era...

i am so drowned in the mess that i have made apparently ....
as you say it is i that has misidentified 

myself with this body and passing phases of mind and by doing so created a world of overpowering shadow... 

how then to disentangle please say now and i will go there ...

the first thing is to not pay attention to the thoughts and body as they are mere shadows that follow

the course of nature ..
changing, coming and going, rising and sinking ...  

be quiet and watch them as if set apart like a light that shines them up only...

my master told me to stay well away from the body and mind as if like an outcast that is to not be touched .. this was very hard at first for the being had been so soaked into this field of 

thinking i am the body and mind and it takes on a life of its own.....

so very hard to move away from, yet it must be done sincere seeker for otherwise you are drowned in 

its false spell that may seem innocent at times..
but this is indeed where it pulls you in like wolf in sheeps clothing ...
be aware of this attachment dear seeker of o ne ... 

next be honest always and forthright in character ..
true in all your dealings and ways in the world...

stay detached in all things, yet keep the heart open ...  

also, here is a mantra to say that points to the o ne reality**brahman**say it with devotion and great care
this will aide to dissolve the mind into the o ne reality that is eternal..
though you do not know of this o ne heart yet friend say the mantra like you believe in it
and feel it in you and all about, do not say it as mere rote ...

or this energy will waste away and only lead to empty repetition...

rest in the heart and have faith in the o ne ...

for it lies within yourself and nowhere else.... 

do not be afraid to be alone for this is the best way ...

dear one seek good company and if that is not there, nature is your companion and it will never, ever put you out ....  

dear wise soul, you have made it sound so simple,
but now it feels so very, very arduous and mixed with so many emotions .....
i am a bit lost right now ... yet underneath it all, your words are felt and penetrating 

in a way that is not understood by me...

wise soul, this strong urge to be out of suffering is simmering under the waves of the world i thought i knew ..
i feel unable to not pay attention there as it haunts my very being so..

dear seeker, this is because you are made as whole and eternal...
the disharmony within is telling that you are not right in identifying yourself with the false ..
the pull you feel is there because the light is in you and inherently draws one in ...
if it is disregarded then one suffers...
if it is heeded (it is still very hard) 

but in the end freeing if followed to its full completion...
then no suffering and all is set right...

hearty journeyer you must have great strength and courage now...
not strength of body, but of soul and heart...
this is not something that can be built like muscles...
it is more a breaking down of the barriers that have been held up to hide from pure life ... 

this is what true courage is friend .. 

yes wise guide .. how opposite this is than what i thought before...
for i felt i must struggle with these waves and push them aside or down to win over ..

now what you say in a way i have no power at all and what is asked now is to give over what was known as *my* power to a the greater intelligence that is not of my personal world ...

oh i am really nothing it feels ..

how very deflating to a man that is built on body and mental intellect ...

what a hard blow to this me...

yet i see you here wise light looking so much of a whole being and in fine form and frame ...

free as you say and i do feel you are true in my being...

oh my this is not easy precious guide...

no it is not, said the guide...
but this attachment and hearty ego you speak of is not your friend .. it is false and unreal

so as to keep you captive in a haunting world of separation...

well dear seeker you can always stay there where you are at...  

oh no quickly interrupted the seeker.. my soul is in great unrest now and i do not want any more of it...

what about my family and friends?...are they now not a part of my world?

am i to cast them out of my heart like they never were?
spoke the guide --the bible says one must turn away from the world which includes family and friends....  one must detach from that life (within themselves) for it keeps the soul bound to body and mind...
though this has been the way of all those within monastic life, it does not mean one needs to hide away from the world, but to let go of all inner attachments...  

the bible says follow me ...  follow the truth no matter what it calls for ...

one is not saying that responsibilities are to be cast aside when in the thick of it --

if you have put into motion a family with young children still needing to be reared then one finishes this job and then it is up to the soul where to take the journey from there ...

but know that without full detachment there will never be full realization .. not ever...

all that have come to be in truth and light have renounced the world and never returned there
the freed soul then lives in the world but not of it...
a radically different consciousness than those caught within mundane mind...
okay, said the seeker
this is what is needed and i am now in a position to leave it all..

where are you going now master? how can i find you?

i cannot say where i will land dear wanderer of the way..

but you have what is needed to complete, and now my heart is bound to yours in sincerity, light and love as we are the same truth within...

you will travel thru many different countries ..
some will ring of great unrest and some of divine light ..

keep going precious seeker until all thoughts are cleared and only the non-dual o ne remains ..

you will know it undoubtedly when it is uncovered ...

the last stop however is the town of death...

oh my shuddered the seeker ... how horrid that sounds

the wise soul laughed greatly and said do not be afraid...

and then he took to his feet and left....
the man in search of light looked about and took a deep breath of release...
he felt quite a bit sturdier within as he knew that his call to freedom was true and held great value ...
his reminiscing for the life he left behind continued to rise and fall like waves
sometimes it was all consuming ...
sometimes like a soft glow in the background...
doubts still haunted and pestered.. angel and devil voices chimed in ... random, senseless thoughts continued to rise and fall ..
but he continued to ponder this surrender thing and detached from the body and used the mantra in devotion and love...
he journeyed on for so many, many days it seemed like
as a one shorn of his homeland and like a one that knew not where he belonged
as his life of before seemed so very distant like a dream in the mist ...
he set it aside like he was told and slept in the open air...
breathing the smell of the earth, listening to the rustling of creatures and watching the shadows fall..
onward he went ..
his heart was light somedays and ridden with haunting shadows and doubts other days...
 he returned always to the mantra...  drinking in its vibration and watching the glory of natures wonders ... so very welcoming and open like a sweet fragrance of Gods creation
it felt unreal to him at times, this beautiful gift of nature
the blossoming wonders, rich greens and sweet earthy smells fresh from rain or warm with sunlight ..
he was lost there sometimes and then back came mind again...
then he came to a valley called expanse...this looks nice he thought...
things felt a bit easier and restful... thoughts were there, but did not feel so pressing down and haunting
kind of like riding a wave easily,
rather than the heavy current of mind constantly pushing against the being so as to say -- look at me! listen to me!
he breathed a bit easier and sat awhile in happiness that was very refreshing ...
so simple he thought this beautiful moment...
still there was unrest looming underneath like a bobbing thing that went under and rose up again when the conditions were ripe --
on and on like this he went...
then he came to a place that felt different also,
his mind seemed calmer and lit up with insight ...
he felt like a being at the center  of a web with strands reaching outward where all was connected and appeared harmonious and filled with love
okay, now i have finally arrived he thought ... i am very holy and special indeed...
i am one with all things and have never not been...
i am quite a light .. i am a teacher,
i am  a one filled with wonder as the earth and stars and heavens and all things glorious...
i have drunk deeply of the clear waters and sunny pastures of the universe ..
what a free soul i am and how much i have to say now about it ....
i am to be known for my way of speaking clear and deeply insightful vision that is so very high up...
look at me now, such a treasure trove of wisdom...
he felt he had arrived and continued to reflect on all that he had gained and suffered and just how
amazing of a soul and seeker he was ...
and just how much others would see this too...
he sat in this way for oh so long friends, very reluctant to leave this land of ego pleasure..
eventually however the clouds came back and the sea began to rock within
and his heart did not seem so rested in his own method of feeling things to be within harmony and light
fortunately in the depths of this view he was swept up by ...
a kernel of sense remained to see that he had not paid attention at all  to his guides wise words
that said one is not done until *all* thoughts are gone and the last town is the town of *DEATH*..
death came up to him this way in his mind *BIG* and looming above so as to say .. yes, you cannot bypass me .. though you gave it a good shot indeed
still there is no completion without passing thru me (the town of *DEATH*)....
well he wondered if he had sat here so long so as to avoid this part...
oh my how deluded mind can be and got up and shook his head about and sighed a deep sigh as he knew he was not done and needed to continue into the land of death ---
onward he went and now he knew enough to not be taken in by *any story* no matter how good it sounded...
he had learned this lesson in a very hard way...
as he had lost so much time swept up in this world of fantasy...
soon enough this place called death shown up in the distance ...
oh, there it is said his persona... what to do .. go forward, go back...
he did not know really for it felt so very real not as a dream or a projection anymore ...
and he breathed and said let the worst come and be over with...
for i feel so very weary
like a soul caught as a deer in a trap with barely a breath of life left, not fully dying
and not full living ..
Lord of my soul this is not where i want to stay
may you do what you must
and he kept going
and he sank into this haunting shadow that was the most frightening of all fears and the most horrifying
shadow that looms in all mental waters ...
and he shook to the bone at the barren feel of it
like all that was known to him was to be lost forever..
his body, mind -- the whole thing ..
so real and palpable was this feeling and there was nothing he could do as he was helpless to its strength and power and then out he went...
gone to himself...
when his consciousness awakened to the appearance of the world
all was radically changed
the dual world he knew before was rinsed clean and what was revealed was the o ne SELF of all...
so completely peaceful and at rest
so very gentle like calm waters ...
the past never happened, the future had no reality ...
beyond birth and beyond death was this pure consciousness
there were no thoughts about it
only peace, beauty and all consuming non-dual pristine awareness remained
he wasn't sure where he was at first, but then within his awareness he recognized his surroundings and knew that he was in the town called *is* ... as if he never left...
was there ever a journey?  did he ever leave this place?
my what a dream he had been lost in...
well friends his family was rather indifferent about the whole thing and barely noticed anything had changed ...
what happened next ...
this beautiful light took to his feet and walked on into the open lands
singing of pure presence and light wherever he was ..
not two,  not two...

om shanti