and so we go inward...

when i was in the start of the path
i did not know about surrender
i thought that one follows a course
of love, but what is this truly?
for love is something to most that is
personal and knit within their story-line
memories, desires and such
and also, it is linked to a sense of time,
place, experience and that kind of thing
it appears to the mind this way for
a long time
but love, is truly that which breaks apart
the identifications of mind, individuality
and all that is rooted within that field
it is the current of grace that carries
no other within it
it is pure consciousness and heart without
anything that has within it
the sense of *me and you*

love comes as a rushing current of light
in which it uproots the fallacies of mind
such as the fallacy that mind is true and real
in the way of being solid in form
and having power to be the central force of
a soul-body
this is what all that are in mind are entrenched in
and indeed is what brings about cause and effect
or karma playing out

karma is very powerful and heavy in the way of
being a law that is universal and without discrimination
it is like physics in which
this effects this if mixtures are put together
and shaken up or ingredients are blended
there is an outcome and playing out that occurs
that cannot be otherwise

some do not understand karma for they will
play the game and think that they will be the one
to escape the consequences and will have it their way
when they want it
no matter the cost to others
this is very sad and carries a broad scope of heartache
for society and the world at large
or smaller waves move thru families and communities
that carry problems
karma too is positive in which actions can carry sacred
notes to others of well being and good intentions
and love
so we treat karma carefully and be aware of our actions
in the world and how we treat others
for what comes back to us is simply results of our actions
we will feel the vibration of the effects of our own actions
in our own souls
so we hold to a disciplined practice
and honor the good in ourselves and others
this is the beginning of a path of righteousness and this is where
most start

looking deeper, we begin to travel within and see what is true
and lasting in our mind and what is transient in nature
this is the work of a renunciate or a sincere seeker
when the mind is quiet(er), there are deeper insights and wondrous
playing out (at times) which jar the soul to see what is
important and of substance
and that the phenomena is simply ghost-like in appearance
as it fades in time with continued engagement of the practices,
self enquiry, surrender

as the thoughts fade there is a very flimsy screen that protects one
from understanding that all is one full being
and this screen fades in an out with direct perception of God-
consciousness entering in
the screen is made of false coverings that shelter one in the
mind-body reality
and lead one to believe that God is outside and to be sought
out by a persona
the persona itself is the thing that begins to break down
like a ball of energy that is dispersed and sinks and fades into
the substance of all

kundalini is imperative to be awakened to break apart these
false bindings of mind and collected apparitions of mind
kundalini is the power that shakes it all up on so many levels
and unbelievable playing out of phenomena (can) come forward
it seems that it will not stop or end once opened up for real
but it does shake out the dream holdings in a way most
mysterious and grace-filled (as well as difficult beyond what one can
imagine), but it does do this
and the mind begins to have more space, depth and strength
(within grace) and light and all that is of heavenly nature that
sings of light and freedom

so one goes forward with what comes no matter what it is
and Guru is there as the heart of all
and gives that grace (mostly without even being aware of it)
but one must find this within their own soul
and not linked to anything or anybody else no matter how in love
with it one is
for those attachments are unkind in the end and bring
sorrow
this is the reality
so we go inward and leave the temptations and desires
to burn until one single source remain