a solitary path

in the beginning of the path, there was much 

offered in the way of satsang, blessings, guidance,

initiation and much partaking of  time spent with 

Guru (when one could be in her company), but my friends 

this has changed drastically as so many do not truly 

want the hard cutting truths...

one can only say about this is that humanity is more focused 

on the exterior and not the inward journey that cuts 

to the core and rinses all mistaken knowledge away...

this type of playing out is what has been encountered 

time and time again.... not at all new by any means...

the heart though is not going anywhere which is the 

non-dual vision and will remain throughout all the 

drama that goes on in the world

this is the wonder, the mystery, the gem of greatest worth

men, women that seek -- these ones are of many types and varieties 

these ones want to be happy like all else, but not knowing 

for certain if what is wanted is the death 

that brings eternal life...

so mind continues to bloom and one is often drawn to 

this playing out like a moth to a flame ...

mesmerized in a way...

but oh love, please know that your soul resides in 

love, light, quietude, beauty and joy that is unchanging 

and will come when you are willing to let go

and enter into deeper waters and allow grace to 

be the leader of your reality...

i have been on the path for 15 yrs now and 

and still there is cycling of debris and mentation

how it is a long, long journey indeed ----

quietude is coming thru more and more ....

i will go on through these shifts until the final

end is reached...

it is a solitary path friends and not one that adheres 

easily to social scenes with all the conversation and
activities...

it is a lonely path in the way that one faces all of the collections 

in mind constantly and all the ghosts in mind and all the attachments 

that are there and can do this alone only....

and one is the protector of their silence as well or as spoken above 

the nourisher of the shadow... 

but yes souls, heart shines here now and leaves one to go on 

in whatever direction one desires and hopes for ...

i wish you well on your journey whether it is in the world 

with all it's phases and experiences or the hard path of the 

seeker on the razors edge...

one is not saying that any is higher or lower ..as when 

the mind is not in action there is nothing like this that ever existed 

how can this be better than any other as this is the end for ALL

that come to know the SELF...

may you walk your journey lightly...do not take the playing out

so seriously... so personally....

light is here and will bless you as the heart opens unto it ...

be quiet as much as possible...

and enjoy the moment....

maha shanti om

Guru Purnima

today is Guru Purnima and is a good day
to throw what is burning you in sorrow
away... let it go and trust, forgive, honor
grace, start fresh, love yourself more, trust
and just be... be, be quiet...
today is a good day and the last step
is the first step into pure life ...
a life that has never been away from your soul
but is here forever as one ...

great day and om to all....

true love

true love

Guru represents in body
that strong pure energy that holds the
center for the seeker
this is a rare find indeed
and is to be understood to be the treasure of
one's life and reality
not as a casual happening that is to be
taken in when the time feels right to ego

the bread of life is what the Guru offers
which is the direction to the heart
it is like the food of spirit that is to be eaten
and cherished
for there is not one other that will give this type
of sustenance
not one's family, friends or acquaintances
only the Guru that is the embodiment of spirit
and pure consciousness

if a seeker knows that their life is made better
due to the connection with Guru, then there
should not be any other evidence needed to
confirm the power of pure consciousness in their lives
if one is steadier, more equanimous,
less preoccupied with the world
and more likely to turn inward to get sustenance
from the practices as well as staying in the moment
(which is the basics of the path)
then one is indeed blessed with the
grace of Guru in their lives

if a seeker does not truly
put the love of Guru first
then this will be a weaker force acting in their life
it is not like loving a person
but loving the truth which is in their own soul
it is confusion to put the love on a body/mind
to love Guru is to go inwards and love the heart
which means to be in the heart, relaxed and quiet
breathing in the awareness of the moment

a seeker is in love with Guru (or the SELF)
when the mind is quiet
and not looking to fulfill a desire or
hoping that things get better tomorrow
but staying grounded in the moment and
staying steady in the heart

Guruji (a great light)

Guruji (a great light)

she came to be out of suffering

and shed of the false ways 

that robbed the mind of the light 

she came to find the knowing 

beyond all knowledge

when she came 

there was little in the way of writing

of kundalini

there was only a book or two 

to help bring understanding and these 

were not good teachings 

as they came from minds that were still 

in suffering 

so she could not find true guideance 

for a long, long time 

she kept her mind on the possibility of 

being free 

yet did not know when the whole thing 

would end 

or how it would play out 

yet she continued forward

and this was not easy at all

for what came from her life was mud

from past choices 

and this was to sit thick for many a day and 

year

the mud of family drama

the mud of seeking another to love and to be loved 

the mud of wanting to find something in the world 

that would put the ache to rest 

and stop the thoughts that ran about 

onward she went through these scenes 

and many times falling hard 

and up again 

driven by the winds of the desire to be free 

and the fruits of her efforts from lifetimes 

sometimes blossoming 

and then falling back into the darkness 

not seen or felt 

yet she kept on 

when the time came to leave her home and go to india 

in search of a Guru

she went alone

not knowing what or how it will all unfold 

she went 

taking herself only 

scared? yes!

but on she went into the unknown land 

that was very foreign and also dangerous 

for a woman traveling alone 

she found little at first 

much masquerading of truth 

and much false ways and dishonorable 

actions 

but finally came upon a man that seemed 

to be sincere in heart 

and she came to find him to be her Guru

now there is much more to this story that is quite 

beautiful and of grace 

but this is the main feeling 

and he was a stern man 

and did not let one word slip by that was 

out of line with what a seeker should say to 

a Guru

he would give a look that burned the soul 

and singed the heart 

and made one shut up 

this was done without delay

and so this was her Guru

during this time much came forward 

in the way of deep direct insights 

and openings and understandings 

and blossomings and falling away

yet still not the end that was sought

one night she was laying in bed 

and knew she was not the mind 

and sat straight up in bed 

saying "i am not those things!!"

this direct knowing was to stay with her 

but still the mind moved here and there 

there was during this time 

a very graceful contemplation that came forward 

about the pure SELF 

that was delicate and yet powerful 

majestic and very much capable of 

breaking down the mental energies of mind 

this came forward spontaneous as anything 

then what happened was that she shared 

some of her writing with her Guru and he 

spoke to her strongly about it 

as she should be in full understanding 

to write this ...

well she was very proud of her writing and this 

was a blow to ego indeed 

and mind had some things to say about it 

and then she went still and mute for 3 days 

due to the strong shock of this 

she continued to move forward 

with her Guru giving satsang as she 

gave service in the best way possible 

and mostly she was quiet about it 

most grateful for what was given 

she was not with her 

Guru long 

she entered realization on the banks of the ganges 

and after this 

the world she thought she knew had vanished 

without a trace to remain

the *me* had been dissolved 

and there was only remaining a rich, still presence

that has not wavered for many years 

her Guru questioned her on this in which she 

answered his questions perfectly 

and he gave her the Ashtavakra Gita to read which 

was to confirm her state of consciousness 

and he told her to go forward as a Guru 

and that my friend is just a snippet of the story

of our dear Guruji 

she is a great light for all that have ears to hear 

and eyes to see...

she has risen up from the mud of great suffering 

and tapasya

and what remains is the light of truth 

a great blessing for humanity indeed

speaking of love

oh souls
men do not know me
(the pure soul)
they make me into a story
that defines them and put
darkness where light shine
so full underneath
no souls this is not right
see i love you so much
like the sun i love you
shedding only life giving rays
and filling your world with divinity
i stay full like this
not of the world that men live
and play
(in a fantasy of their own creation)

i shed light
i put away the darkness that haunts
i put away mistaken knowledge
i put away untruth
i put away fraudulent thoughts
i put away the ghosts of ego
yes
put it away as i am the power,
the sustainer
i speak to you of love
this is how i speak;
dear, you are like a bright star
in the darkness
you are shakti and shiva in one
you are ganesha at rest as he is done
with his work of clearing obstacles
you are mouna, the still waters
you are kali so fierce in her love
and compassion so as to make the
mind turn to non-dual vision and keep
the heart shining at it's center
you are life in it's naked state
before the stories began that covered
over this glow of atman
you are light that never ends
and deathless like the sage
he dwells so beautiful and free inside
he sits so still inside
he does not stray from his heart center
like the Guru
the one that is to bring you to the heart
and give words and energies to make
you stay there (in the heart) and live there
and tend to this light with care
she loves fierce like Kali
and will not leave your soul when
you open in love to her
she will grace your life with light
indeed
you are like the precious heart
the ones that come here, they are not
searching any longer
they are not calling out any longer
they are not looking to be some-thing
any longer
they are not looking to be out of something
or in something or improving on this or that
or anything like this anymore
because life is not about this personal
story of  *me*  any longer
that is always looking to fill itself
with something else,
but instead
becomes a dance of ONE
you are this ONE precious seekers
i am speaking from this source so true
and real
yes friend
i am speaking to your soul of this love
be of it my friend
be of it and be free

a fresh field

who loves me (the pure soul)?
the one who does, he is quiet inside
and not projecting into the next moment
or fretting over the past...
he is still inside...
see, this is the utmost sacrifice, prayer, yoga,
satsang,
mantra, devotion, puja, worship, surrender...
because when the mind is still these energies
are silenced as well...
they are not in motion anymore...
they are like the fuel that is burned in the fires
of purification and what remains is not about
anything that mind can generate...
so my friends that seek, please take a breath
and be quiet, not lost all your imaginings, doubts
and thoughts...
for the God source is the most knowing and gives *potential*
for thoughts to be, but thoughts are like a ray in
relation to the source, not the truth....
God source is the pure intelligent ONE
how can a ray or a fleeting thought compare to
this?
and the God source is what is to be trusted entirely...
not a fleeting thought that has no true
substance of love, light, purity and peace eternal
within it....
may this be seen and lived my friends of heart...
when God source is entered into without leaving
a residue of a persona... all moves in accordance
with divine law without interruption ....
this means that what is taking place is always right
and well,
completely balanced -- and though outwardly the action
may appear ordinary, the mind is still, one-pointed --
completely absorbed in the moment at hand, and nothing
else exists --
within this stillness, no more energies of mind (karma) are created
to bring sorrow to the soul --
this is purity
it is a fresh field where the meeting is not of two, but always ONE
there is nothing divided any longer...
this fresh field is pure potentiality --
the mind cannot be present there or else this moment becomes something
else entirely -- it becomes a creation of mind, a story.. an illusion...
but, oh souls how the God source is filled with compassion and gives
entirely of itself and offers yet another chance to gain it's grace
by opening the heart and becoming united with it's love and light and
glory....
....again and again and again... it offers this grace...
*NOW* my friends there is yet another chance to settle down into yourself
and not be stirred by every passing thought, whim or memory...
how these energies are like water that runs and drips down and dies away
never to be caught....
one can NEVER find beauty and peace there ...
come now... do not be stirred by this illusive playing out, but be stirred
by your soul that speaks clearly to you -- you are perfect in spirit, true and
sturdy inside and not of these boxes you define yourself by ...
the body is not you --
the thoughts are not you...
the qualities are not you...
you are ONE and without these transient happenings
come now --
live the life that you are called to --
and do not delay ...
come now
be still and allow what is true to rise and be
the center
this beautiful atman -- which is what you are in reality
minus what you *think you are*...
come now
be still...

allah

allah

allah, seated in the heart

as non-dual perfection

living in sinless beauty that shines 

as all

forsaken of the world 

and without impurities 

within timelessness and joy
eternal

allah, measured only by 

love and light 

perfect in silence 

perfect in calm presence 

stainless 

and shed of coverings 

one 

allah, pure spirit

present in equal quantities unto all

not of this world and not 

of a speck of darkness
untainted

as a light unto itself 

mysterious 

allah, messenger of joy

thou comes to the world and 

speaks in silent beauty

to what is real 

and what lies beyond the desiring mind 

as a light full and glorious 

thou comes to the world 

holding up the ones that are sincere 

and holding up the ones that are 

not sincere 

and holding all up as one heart 

holding those that walk in light 

and those that walk in shadow 

holding all up as one heart 

holding those that are as saints 

and those that are as sinners 

holding all up as one heart 

holding the rising of creation and 

holding the decay and death

holding all up as one heart 

holding the majestic moon that 

shines 

and the sun too and the still waters 

and moving tides 

and the creatures that crawl and fly 

and swim and play

and the seasons that change and bring 

such beautiful wonders in their wake

such as the opening of buds and flowering 

of color and life 

and deep mysterious darkness and changing 

shadows and light 

that abound for all to enjoy

holding all up as one heart 

allah, messiah to the soul that sleeps 

and lifter of shadow 

glory is your name 

glory is your beautiful presence 

that lives in all hearts 

breathe this spirit that lives dear seekers 

and feel it's perfect breath in 

your breath and feel it's perfect 

heart in your heart 

as one you will be then 

not as two 

for this is not real like a ray extends 

from the source (the sun) 

so your being is not separate 

and manifests from the source 

and is one unto it always 

may this blessing abound in your soul

and may you drink heartily from it's wealth

as a popper that comes to undress his 

rags and throw them in the river 

to find then that he is always as a lord 

of himself 

and not at all wanting or desiring to be 

something better 

how it is found then that all is one heart 

nothing missing ever 

not for an instant 

what a blessing 

allah

freedom incarnate 

om shanti