Time with Guru (part 2).... first meeting

The first meeting with Guruji was set up to be
at Traveller's (an indian tea house in Seattle)
i was completely *green* as to what a Guru
was or was not --
i had no experience with a spiritual path
and knew nothing of what the *core*
of spiritual practices were about really..
just had winged my own practices..
****(a mix of Buddhist chants picked up
from readings, severe sitting meditation
in which i covered the eyes with a
blind-fold and meditating in graveyards
--- just a simple, gentle little blend would say ..
don't you agree? hahahaha
 ... so not true. would advise to please
use this as an example of what *not to do* because
these types of random practices
are very potent and can ignite kundalini
rapidly which is indeed what took place
there were spontaneous yoga moves that came
forward that were beyond what this
form had every done --
in fact had
never, ever engaged yoga --
so to stand
on the head and twist into pretzels was very new
there were spontaneous mantras and songs
in a foreign tongue (which had no idea
of the meaning and only learned later what
some of the chanting meant.. )
there were seeing colors and lights --
popping, clapping, bird sounds, bells
**which is known as the nad**
constant perceptual shifts
*** feeling like one is very tall and then the
next minute very small**
a stream of visions
and blown up mental phenomena...
**and this went on 24/7**
and much more...
this is why am advising
don't go about your journey this way...
if there is no Guru in place, PLEASE go slow
with these types of energetic practices.. they are
no joke...
this phenomena had
been ongoing for 5 yrs or so before
meeting Guru
but came to a crises when became
very physically ill and was unable to work
so when met Guruji, the form was extremely
skinny
with dark circles under the eyes and
i was in a lot of fear and mental spin
definitely a walking
mess of i don't know what....)***

i managed to get to Travellers in spite of the
poor shape the body was in....
i arrived before Guru and sat at a table
looking out the window wondering what
this meeting would be like....
soon i saw a woman walk by with a little
dog on a leash (which was none other than
the infamous Miss Radhe )..
i knew right away it was Guruji...
She did not look like
the stereo typical image of a Guru that
one might see in books --
***like those in a lotus position with a
loin cloth or with a constant smile of
bliss and flower like words that pour
forth in a stream ..***
Guru did not come in this type of
stereotypical package at all....
that Guru looked like an ordinary person
was so very refreshing and calming to
the mind right away....
as this felt to
be a being that i could connect with
also, she had lived a regular life
and struggled like the rest of us
this was made quite clear by the mails and
exchanges up to this point...

Guruji walked in and sat down
across from me at the table
her manner was relaxed and
easy...
her presence was light
with humour
that came through often...
and again this calmed the mind
and being right away....

she answered all my questions
with patience and love
***i know that some are afraid of Guru
or feel she is stern and serious...
this is so far from the truth...
her being has such a gentle, sweet dearness
within it
and will tell you this is truly her usual way...
if a *roar* has come out (which is tough
love) it is only that the situation has required it
in order to wake one up from the strong grip
of delusion that is taking over ...
because have been on this side of the fence
also and can speak to the benefit and love
and compassion within tough love as well....
all of it is grace, there is no doubt..**

The pointings that really struck during this first meeting
were:
**what you need protection from is yourself **
and that *you are your own worst enemy**
also, she spoke to what liberation is --
**when the mind stills**
she said, **if i can do it, anyone can**
this is because she had such a hard time
of it .. and raised a child by herself within
the midst of it -- which was the same
situation as here...
this helped so much and gave hope that
it was possible to transcend suffering
even through very difficult times...
She said many things that brought a smile
and lightness to the heart which took away
the seriousness about the whole thing...
as well as honored kundalini for what it was
**that it gives the opportunity to enter
liberation in this lifetime if one is sincere**
  She was very generous in sharing her
experiences while in the midst of the journey
and laying to rest the fears that were coming forward.
then she said that i should go home and rest
because i looked like i needed it hahahaha...
which was true, of course....

Was back to work and functioning again
after about a month of working with Guruji...
what grace....

maha shanti om