dispassion

when a man takes his leave of the world

he has in him the courage and self restraint 

needed to go onward into himself 

as a one looking to be free of the false

he stays aware and alert 

to the rising ways of mind 

that come and go and distract 

and persuade 

he keeps watch on this night and day

he makes his heart shine bright 

within the mental waves 

and he makes his life one of eloquence

beauty and quiet being

he does not need a temple or 

a special sitting posture 

he does not need a friend to be near

or a lot of pomp and circumstance 

he does not need the right outer 

conditions 

for what will make him strong are the 

life experiences and the grit 

and the courage to rise above that which is 

temporal in nature

he dives into himself always --

no matter what experience

he looks, he watches 

he questions and remains quiet

he knows not the truth when mind is rambling 

he knows not the way, if mind is in action

he knows not the heart, if mind is in the center 

he knows not his calling, if thoughts are tempting 

he knows not clarity, when clouded by desire 

he knows not freedom, when in the throes of passion

by seeing this

he sees the false ways that occlude 

and takes them not again to heart
but witnesses as a one not involved
he then is as a seeker that is always immersed in sadhana

that is the seeking of fulfillment 

amongst the confusion, he is in sadhana

amongst the ways of men that are not seeking truth,

he is in sadhana

he is in sadhana at all times and under all circumstances 

not carried away by anything no matter how hard or biting 

no matter how glorious or persuasive 

he remains detached within the light of Guru's words and grace 

a man that walks this way is one that is called dispassionate in his practice 

as he is not in the world as a man within doership 

he falls somewhere in between working, effort and effortless flow

he falls in between the lines of black, white and even grey 

for he cannot be captured by definitions any longer 

he cannot be sheltered in desires and pulling temptations of the world 

for he understands this type of desirous mentality

though it may bring some temporary pleasure

ultimately brings pain -- a sting that he is not to desire any longer

he prays to his own heart (if he prays) to awaken to love and light 

he prays to his own SELF to be free of shackles and hinderances 

and habitual mind spins 

he prays to his soul that is to be made like a fire that burns all created appearances 

to ash 

he prays to the life source that is the one power of all

to be free forever and eternally..

he never lets the truth be ignored or forgotten in him

even if he is in the depths of thinking 

he feels this stir to be in love and light always 

haunting him in it's way that is not to be ignored

he lays his burden down by the waters of shiva 

he lays down the sting and the actions that brought unrest 

he lays his mind down on the earth of the universe to be absorbed in love and light
he is a man of character in himself in which he is as an example to others 

by his actions of honesty, and integrity and transparency
how has he come to this path of light?

by his desire to know himself and be free

this has carried him on

and he is to be living in the heart now 

as he can walk home and find God in it's pure state 

he can walk home and be living in joy and beauty

he can walk home and stay as a being in fullness that cannot be shaken
this my friend, is the deep seeking of truth that goes

forward to fulfillment...

this life, what is it?

what has thou to say about love?
is it that which brings comfort
and shelter from the world of woes?
or is it that which comes to tear down
the walls
and awaken one to that which
is unborn, pure
and untouched by *me and mine*?
is it wrapped up in
a man, a woman or child ?
is it a an experience of pleasure ?
or is it that which gives space
for your world, your life
and all that enters there to be?
does it come happy at times
with high waves
and sink down low again?
or is it steady in beingness
not to falter and die away?
like a mountain
this love
what is it?
can you say?

what has thou to say about life?
is it something that is personal?
or is it a flow of pure grace
that has not a name attached?
does it revolve around people and places
things that come and go?
or is it simply here
as a mystery to be lived
and this is all
is it a memory or thought or
experience to look forward to?
is it marked by days and years
and expectations?
or timeless
unchanging in it's essence
a great adventure in which
one knows not what is around
the next corner?
this life
what is it?
can you say?

rooting up the debris/kundalini...

kundalini will bring up all the judgements, fears,
conceptual thinking, habits, vasanas (energetic patterns),
attachments etc.. and put them in your face 24/7
what this journey is truly about is to face them, question them
until those concepts that keep one locked in a cage of being a
certain way or believing one is confined to a body and mind
is broken through for good ---

the unlearning path

knowledge that is praised by the world is that knowing

that comes from learning 

while this has its place and is needed on some levels

true knowledge does not have content within it

there is nothing to study to be truth

so the scholar will not find it that way

it is more of an unlearning path

where one goes backward into the source 

to be burnt in the fires of purity

in which one becomes what they are originally

and though some sages may speak very eloquently

inside, truly they know nothing and are more childlike

not different from anything or anyone else

just one

how simple is this? 

just plain slow..

it is so strange when the mind slows
it is like a tape recorder unwinding
the thoughts are sluggish, slow
what one is used to in there (when
thoughts are present)
at least for here, all of the sudden
change
it is like a tape put on slow speed
where the voice is deep and low
and just plain slooowwww
so very strange
or sometimes the thoughts
sound far away and garbled
and other times simply stop
nothing, just stillness
ah, let those old tapes keep
unwinding...

tantra (fire heart)

when i have seen tantra in my
mind's eye
i have seen a current or band
that is very dark
with a current of blood red running
through it
the dark is representative of that deep
dark mystery of the absolute
the red that sacrifice of the soul
that offers it's life up to the source
this is a very potent emblem
that is not superficial in the least
it is a path that is walked for lifetimes
ending in dissolution
into the source of all
tantra is made of this richness that is
concrete/ rock solid with a magnetic
pull to the center
in which nothing
can come up against it


so alive this fire heart of tantra
that it is hardly a one that can be spoken
of easily
for it is like a blend of nature's most pure
creation as well as the richness from which
all springs
it comes like a volcano that is eruptive in it's
potential
it comes like an unbound ground energy
it comes like an uncreated condensed energy
that is so powerful
beyond imagination
sexuality, my friends is merely a way of putting
this light in a box in which souls want to play
at making it into something spiritual
this is so not correct
for this energy is the *loom or weave*
(which is what it stands for)
which means it is the thread that runs through all
things
it is God made manifest in the creative world
and there is nothing that can make it into anything
different not for a moment
for it has at it's roots antiquity at it's finest
as all the healing, yogi, nun, sadhu, sage types
of energies have
they are based on something that is not of this world
in it's way
nor will this beautiful energy make itself privy
to many
only those that have been cleared of mundane energies
and have that connection
to soil it and place it somewhere else in the physical realm
is like taking a beautiful, pristine gem and tarnishing it
with dirt
it is not going to glow in it's finery that way ever
for we see this happening so much in the world
pristine ancient light being tarnished by something else
that does not ring at all of the original
but still, even with the worldly things that come out
to make something different out of this beauty
it lives always as it is
pristine, deep, mysterious, potent, fire, light-filled
wondrous
and nothing that is put over it will ever change that

a light so glorious

pure
undiluted truth
so glorious
so sweet
that it melts the souls that walk by
and they cannot say what they came to say

if they are sincere and honest in heart
when they speak, it is to say thank you
for showing me what is true and right
thank you for showing me the way out
of my locked cage
i will go renewed and drink of the waters
that are pure
i will be something that rises in beauty like the sun
i will smell like the sweet earth
and put to my lips only words that bring joy
and revive hearts that ache
i will be what i was meant to be
the SELF always

austerities

the heart 

is the cave where the sadhu lives

with the dhuni fires 

that burn night and day 

he does his austerities for the lord 

and these austerities are very harsh 

to his body

they strip him of the world in the way 

of making him not attached to the form-shadow

that is as a dream

the austerities are consciously done when he 

is in meditation postures

or even when he is walking about with bare bones 

exposed to the elements of nature 

this is painful to bear 

but he bears this as a one that is in love with God 

but friends, 

these austerities come in the course of this journey 

of kundalini 

whether the seeker consciously does them 

as the sadhu in his right way of doing them 

or a one that is in the world has pain and bodily 

hardships and/or mental that cause that one to either 

run away or surrender 

because most will not surrender 

of their own accord (as this is how ego is)

and hardships cause the mind to be panicked and go 

wild 

but eventually

a one that is in love with the SELF

that one must find the faith 

that one must find the substance 

that one must find the strength to go on amidst 

much hardships and burning of all sorts 

this is not to say that one needs to be in love with 

suffering, not at all

but to know that there are many experiences
that come
that call one to stay steady and truly live
what is being spoken about in the scriptures
to truly embody the faith, the surrender
this is the way of all those that walk the path
of knowledge
this is the way of all those that walk the path
of surrender
it cannot be simply a philosophy or understanding
but a true embodying

the simple one

the poor man is blessed
the one impoverished of worldly
dynamic
he is the simple one
he lives as if he has no clothes
or layers of complicated philosophies
he has no food to eat either that tastes
of drama (or the story of *me and mine*)
yet he is starving never
for he is a humble one
and lives on food that is wholesome
food that satiates his soul
happy, content
not looking always to fill some hole
that has only come from ego's stories
he eats the bread of God in faith
and what befalls him, he worries not about
his dwelling is simple
to him he has all he needs

vision 6/3/16

this morning vision:

burning structures, the ground is in ashes.... two buildings still burning
one can see the fire coming from them (bright and hot)
and the smoke dispersing all around ...

then, one could see a long fence that was being broken apart
and it was heard,
this is a very flimsy fence Siddhananda

then, a bridge appears and someone is walking across it
walking through terrain after terrain that changes in it's
texture and feeling, rocks, fields, and different countries
then, a mountain is walked up with great jutting cliffs
and narrow paths...
it was heard,
she lost her footing here many times
but did not fall, just lost her balance... now she is
making her way up again...

then, it was heard,
the morning star awaits,
the new dawn too and the flowers are growing.
all of this can be seen at the top.


and then, this poem:

are you looking up from those jutting structures
again?
(that last look maybe today)
for those ghosts are racing after you
and very fast indeed
and when you are cornered (yet again)
i wonder if this time you will stay there
and ponder the questions that burn?
or spin and spin again
and i wonder too, if that pain there
so nagging is a doorway
that leads outward to the greater view
where seeing is not couched in individuality
hmmmm, i wonder if that heart you hold bears
secrets that whisper your name
and lead you to that place of light
what can i say, but find out
for are you walking somewhere greater
or just simply existing for now
i wonder?

the monastic life

in the past when the climate was

pure for seeking 

seeking was much honored

and not put aside or taken casually

those that were renunciates took to the 

path in it's traditional way

which was to don the ochre robes 

and wear the ornaments that spoke 

to the monastic life 

which were varied in their nature 

but very much honored and seen

as marks of a heart that was in the 

contemplative order 

when a monk takes to this life 

he is as a person that

has renounced responsibilities

such as rearing family and working 

in the world 

this type of undertaking has as it's base 

great meaning and purpose 

it is to keep the mind focused on God 

the monastic is to be always disciplined 

in the way of putting the eyes 

on the light in terms of scriptural reading 

and contemplation

he lives in a secluded area because he 

is as an island to himself in a way

as he is the sole being that is responsible 

for his journey

and there is no one else that can walk it for him

he is the one that is the keeper of the faith

and he is the one that is the protector of his silence 

he is the one that is the guard of his kingdom

he is the one that lets enter into his paradise 

seeds of untruth or seeds of great blessings 

that grow in the form of quietude and joy

not any one else plants these seeds 

he is the one that waters the blessings 

or destroys them by looking to the impure thought 

the monastic is not a person of the world 

he is as a soul in love with God 

which means he is in love with the SELF 

that is in his own soul

when there is quietude within his mind 

he finds joy in this 

when there is silence that has no personhood in it 

he finds great sustenance in this 

which steadies him to move on into the 

unshakeable stillness in which no experience 

can touch 

he is like a mystic 

as a sadhu that wanders to the light 

he is the same 

the monastic life has it's purpose that is 

good and pure 

but as this path shows when one can be steady

in stillness while in the world 

this stillness will be very solid 

and not easily moved 

as this is much, much harder ...

but can be done 

and will come to those hearty journeyers 

that are true inside and seek pure life 

this will indeed come